This was also posted on the WoW forums for Wrymrest – Fools Company Writing Contest – just as an example of some of the things that could be written. Also it is intended as a joke for the GM of the guild because he didn’t believe I’d be crazy enough to roll a gnome rogue.
Well, my Mom told me that instead of asking her questions all of the time, I should start making a list of the things that I wanted to know about. You know, those things that prey on your mind when you’re just sitting around minding your own business.
My name is Civardi Daytripper and I’m a gnome, kind of, well, sort of. My Mom had a moment of too much beer and fell for the persuasive tongue of a Night Elf. Yeah, one of those slick talkers that just wanted one thing and they got it. I can well imagine that she was surprised when she found out that she was expecting a baby – that baby was me. At least she got a name off of the fellow so I wasn’t just some little whatsis.
Every time she gets upset with me, she tells me I’m just like my Daddy. Well, who is my Daddy? Where is my Daddy and why hasn’t he been back to see me? I guess Mom didn’t really know where to find him to let him know he was going to be a Father or whatever because she was embarrassed. I mean, I would be embarrassed if I was a girl gnome and slept with a Night Elf. How is that even possible – I don’t want my mind to even go there because it scares me to think about it.
If I didn’t look so much like my Daddy, I guess she would forget how I came to be. I have green hair, I grew a goatee because I thought it was cool and, yes, I’m a rogue. Just like my Daddy – sneaky fellow that he was. I think I’m almost as good of a rogue as he is too – I’ve heard stories about this outlaw rogue that was running around Stormwind and I wonder if that isn’t my Dad.
One of these days, I’m going to go to Stormwind and see if I can’t find him. He’s pretty sneaky and I guess he stays out of sight most of the time, however, being as how I’m a rogue and all – we might have the same connections, you know, get to know the same kind of people and such. I’m saving my money now and stealing anything I can get my hands on to sell so I can make that trip.
I know that I am still a young fellow and I will have to be careful when I get out into the big world more because, as my Mom puts it, there are people out there that might try to take advantage of me too. Well, no more than how she fell for that guy.
So far, I’ve been able to get outside of the city and kill boars, trolls, wolves and a few other things that I am not sure what they were – big tall hairy things that were easy to sneak up on. A little stealth, a little ambush and they fell like stones. I was talking to one of my fellows here in IF and they were talking about adding some poisons to my blades and that really seemed to kill things a lot faster for me.
Oh yeah, I’m working hard to make that money. I know that it is going to be exciting to travel to the big city of Stormwind and see the sites and get to make some new friends too. I think I have already talked one of my buddies into going with me too. I also ran into a dwarf by the name of Andrew Bitterbeer and he has promised to get me in touch with some people he knows in Stormwind that will be able to give me some good employment, other than my own private fund raising efforts. All I can say is, I haven’t gotten caught yet, a few close calls, just not apprehended by anyone that could hold me for long.