Still Searching…

April  15th

Dear Journal,

I haven’t written in a while because there just doesn’t seem much to report on or even to hang onto my memories.  I have spent months going through my Ranger training and I have put in for transfers every single time that I have been at a point where I could hopefully qualify to no avail.  I know that it is kind of hard to realize that I have spent all of these months just to track down this man that may or may not be my Father or not. Why is it so important for me to find him at this point?

I think my biggest thing is that I want him to acknowledge my existence, I want him to recognize the fact that he left my Mother to suffer the indignity of having a child out of wedlock and basically ruined her life.  I want him to know that there were consequences to his actions to take responsibility for it.  Am I being childish?  I don’t think so, I want to be able to take my real surname and feel some pride in the fact and not be just another bastard that was sired by a man having a fling with a woman of questionable morale character.

My Mother was a wonderful woman.   She was beautiful, she loved life and she really would have made some man happy because she was a very caring person.  Her one mistake in her life that allowed me to be born colored part of her life that made her feel as if she weren’t as good as her friends.  I know that her family tried to get her married off a couple of times, however, once the fact came out that she had a child already kind of killed any of the contracts that they would try to make for her.  She often times would sigh and be sad for a time after one of these marriages fell through and I could tell that it made her feel that wasn’t worthy of being happy.  I know that she would talk about my Father sometimes and I always felt that she was trying to make me realize that he wasn’t an uncaring person and that there had to be a reason why he never came back to her.

What I have been able to find out about this Dawnglory is the fact that he has always been a rounder and a drinker.  He has had many women in his life and he never has seemed to settle with just one woman because he was either afraid of the commitment or he wasn’t a person that cared for his partner enough to want to stay with him.  What little information that I had about him the last time I had any gold to buy the information was that he was in Pandaria as a second-in-command to this Fnor Morningstar.  I’ve also been able to find out something about this fellow as well – seems he’s a pretty stand-up guy and is well respected by people in Silvermoon – is that from the massive wealth that he has accumulated over the years?  I have no idea.  I just know that the two men are still Rangers and they are still serving our countrymen by doing their military duty.

I think that I can understand how people were and still are complaining about Orgrimmar.  I’m not overly fond of the place.  It’s dirty, it’s noisy and there are just too many Orcs.  I’m not saying that I dislike them or anything because I’m sure that they aren’t too thrilled with having all of these races in their city either.   I have found myself staying more in the Tauren area of the city because it seems like it is a little bit cleaner and I know that the Tauren keep things fairly quiet in their area.

I know that I was passing through the city yesterday and noticed a building that was being repaired and noticed that they were putting a sign out front and the name caught my attention.  Morningstar  Enterprises – the very same one that is in Silvermoon City too.  I guess I’ll keep my eyes peeled and do some investigating around to find out more about this Morningstar thing and maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to catch Dawnglory here in Orgrimmar and I won’t have to keep working my tail off trying to get to Pandaria or this new place that everyone is talking about.

I know that I will have to get this situation resolved before I can truly get on with my life and to have the peace of mind that I feel like I deserve.

 

Hanlin Darkstrider

No Good News…

July 15th

Dear Journal,

Time flies when you’re having a good time!  No, I’m not having a good time at the moment because I am still stuck over here with the Forsaken.  Seems like I can’t do enough or excel enough at what I do gain the recognition that I need to get transferred elsewhere.  Oh sure, there are a lot of us competing and a lot of us putting in for transfers that seem to have be done monthly.  With this place being as unpopular, you’d think that they would send the least worthy here instead of the Rangers that have been busting their behinds to get ahead.

I will admit that I am putting in as much time as I can with my duties as I can stomach, however, there is a limit as to what I am ready to do.  No, I am not going to try to schmooze my way up the ranks with these Forsaken because they literally make my skin crawl and sometimes I wonder if we aren’t being infected with some of the plague carriers.

I will have to admit that the majority of us head back to Silvermoon City whenever we have a chance to get some time off.  The first thing I do is to find a decent Inn and take a long hot bath and then grab a nice meal.  

Naturally, with gold being as tight as it is, I am still trying to make my inquiries with the magistrates in regard to the guy that I think is my Father, this has been a real expensive venture for me so far and leaves me a bit strapped when it comes to keeping my gear up to date and properly repaired.  Luckily for me, one of the fellows in my unit is also a black smith on the side, so, he’s been doing some work for me rather cheaply.  I’m sure that I’ll end up paying the price for his favors eventually, however, right now, that is far down the road.

Now, my last trip to the magistrates wasn’t nearly as costly because I was still inquiring about where this Dawnglory was in Pandaria.  Well, I was shocked out of my mind when I was told that he had resigned his position from the Rangers and his whereabouts were unknown. Oh yeah, I could find out more information if I had more gold, I’m sure.  This just makes finding him more difficult because I will have to resort to using outside sources to investigate things further.

Well, I was a bit disheartened at the news from the magistrates; however, I haven’t given up all hope in finding this man.  Of course, I am going to have to stay in the Rangers and do what I can to earn more money and still keep searching.  Ranger pay is the only real steady source of income for me right now.  Yeah, sure, I could do what some of the other guys are doing and hanging out in Murders Row earning money by doing some less than savory things, however, that makes me almost as sick to my stomach as the Forsaken.

Sometimes I get so angry at my Mother, may the Light bless her departed soul, because she could have or should have spoken out long ago. Why she didn’t do it is a question that I will always be asking myself, however, it could have been that she was ashamed of what had transpired when the “handsomest Ranger in Silvermoon” packed up and went off to war.  There she sat, pregnant, unmarried and her reputation was ruined in all the social circles although her family name and money kept her circulating.  No man of any worth wanted to marry her with a baby on her hip and no man taking responsibility for the activity.  Well, I can’t blame the people here in Silvermoon for being the way that they are, she showed quite a bit of carelessness on her part by not even getting the fellow’s full name even though she was with him more than just once from what I gathered from the family gossip. Albeit, the picture that I have of him shows him as being quite good looking and with the way that things are, I’m sure he was very charming. She was very young and very foolish and now, I have to pay the price for being here. Part of me is very bitter about how the family acted towards me when she died from a stupid case of pneumonia and put me out on the street before the funeral even happened.

Okay, Hanlin, stop whining in your wine. I’m not feeling sorry for myself, just very frustrated at my circumstances.  The man has to acknowledge me as his son and he is obligated at that point to be my parent, whether he likes it or not.  I will not go through this life as some bastard offspring.  I can’t, I won’t be accepted anywhere in our society if that is to be the case.  Sure, I can earn my way up the ranks with the Rangers; however, it would be so much easier if I had some kind of social standing other than what I have currently.

Okay, a bunch of us are going out to socialize while we can while we’re here in Silvermoon, I’ll have to watch what little gold I have and make sure that I don’t have to go hungry until I get paid again too. Well, sure, I can eat what we’re given to eat by the Forsaken; however, my imagination is too vivid to allow me to eat the stuff without retching.

Han

Being An Outcast…

July 2nd

Dear Journal,

Staying in Brill isn’t all that bad although I am finding that I miss the creature comforts of Silvermoon more and more each day.  We have been fortunate enough to be able to go back to Silvermoon once in a while and I know that some of us linger there a little bit longer than should when the opportunity presents itself.

I knew that when I joined the Rangers that there were chances that I would be stationed in some places that were less than savory and not to my liking.  If this assignment is anything like what may be in store for me in the future, I may have to rethink my decision.

Hillsbrad isn’t all that bad, however, I do think it rather odd that while the Forsaken are hell bent on using this plague to infect everything around them, why would a troop of Rangers be needed to kill off their mistakes because that is exactly what they are.  Mistakes of their own making and we’re being used as the cleanup crew.  Some of it is real disgusting and I know that I am not the only one that has gone off behind a tree to relieve the discomfort by disgorging the contents of my stomach.

I think the worse thing so far has been the bears that have those eggs infesting them.  I suppose that the eggs are using the beast as a host for feeding the eggs, however, I know that gathering those eggs and the contents of said eggs makes me want to throw-up constantly. Oh yes, and we shouldn’t forget that abominations that have gone a bit wild that need to be disposed of. 

It sure does make you wonder if the Regent Lord has a clue as to what Lady Sylvannas and her people are doing here in Hillsbrad?  Oh, I can understand the plague and the Worgen, however, that is probably the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen. What the Forsaken have done to the people of Gilneas is unforgiveable in my eyes, I just have to follow orders.  I think what they thought that they were going to produce from their plague was turning human beings into beasts with very little intelligence, instead, they got a beast that is very capable of thoughts and still very much in touch with their human side.  I’m not even sure if the Forsaken are really in touch with their own human side anymore.

On my last trip to Silvermoon, I did stop by the magistrates to see how my inquiries were going in regard to this man that could be my Father, I’m certain that he is.  Anyway, he is definitely up in the higher ranks as a Lt. Commander with the troops in Pandaria.  Now, exactly where in Pandaria, I’m not sure, just that he is up there leading Rangers.  Pandaria can’t be that big of a place from what I can gather and he shouldn’t be that difficult to find – seems that he is a bit flamboyant with his actions to where most of the people might know of him or at least his whereabouts.  The picture that I have of him is worth a thousand words and it also makes me understand why my Mother got involved with him – he is a good looking man and I would assume that he has some kind of wealth behind him.  As far as I can tell, he has no real family to speak of other than a sister that may or may not be In Silvermoon.  I didn’t have enough time to make any further inquiries about her, however, that will be my intent on my next trip.

I did find out that this fellow that my Father hangs out with quite a bit is quite wealthy and is fairly well known in some of the social circles in Silvermoon.  In fact, he has quite a large business that he owns and operates out of Orgrimmar.  There are several Morningstar families in Silvermoon, however, there is only one that is extremely wealthy and noteworthy.  Well, I guess that should make things a bit easier for me to find this Dawnglory too.

I just know making all of these inquiries and crossing the palms of a few people with what gold I have has been very expensive so far and has almost beggared me.  I will have to raise some more money by plying my trade a bit more and see if I can supplement my Ranger salary some more before I do a lot more of the inquiries that I want to make.  If all of these records are public records, it sure does seem crazy to have to “pay” to get the information, however, I have to do that because my duties keep me too busy to even think about trying to make the time to dig through the archives myself.  From what I have seen of the archives, I would be in there for years trying to find out information.

What do I hope to gain with all of the inquiries?  Well, the one thing I want is for this man to acknowledge me as his son and heir to whatever fortune he may have accumulated in his lifetime and for him to come back to my grandparents and tell them too.  He would probably have to pledge some kind of fealty to the family and make some kind of financial restitution to them for ruining their only marriageable daughter that he spoiled with his seed.  I also want him to treat me as his son, not some by-product of his adventures in Silvermoon.  I don’t think that is too much to ask.  We may not even like each other, however, he should be man enough to acknowledge me.

Naturally all of my friends that I have made in the Rangers think I’m crazy for spending so much time and money in finding this fellow.  They all have families that can help them and I don’t.  My grandparents won’t even allow me in the house at this point because they don’t want to acknowledge that my Mother might have made a mistake in her judgment and I’m the result of that error.  Oh, when she was alive, everything was fine, after she died – I was literally kicked out of the house. How can I be a grandson one day and a “nothing” the next still has my mind spinning.

At least I have enough education to do me well with the Rangers and the training that I am getting with them is going to be what I can live with.  I was almost finished with my schooling when my Mother died and I was literally kicked out of school because I didn’t have any money to pay my tuitions.  I don’t think they wanted some homeless and penniless Sindorei cluttering up their hallowed halls of learning when the money ran out. 

One thing that all of this has taught me is that you have to have money to be somebody.  To have your family love you, you have to have money, to have the people in society to accept you, you have to have money. Everything is tied back to Money.  So, I will have money one day to where I can go anywhere in Silvermoon that I choose and be able to marry any woman that I can afford to buy.

Yes, I’m bitter.  I came from a family of money and social standing and had built my life accordingly and to suddenly wake up one day and find yourself homeless and penniless was quite shock.  What really hurt was the fact that the people that I thought were my friends turned their backs on me because I no longer had the family name and the money to fit in with their circles.  I became an instant outcast amongst my own people.  Yes, I have made new friends since I joined the Rangers, however, they don’t invite me to their homes in Silvermoon either – this is what it means to be a bastard outcast.

I will find my Father and I will make him make things right again for me, somehow.

Han

 

 

Assignment – Hillsbrad

June 12th

Dear Journal,

Well, I certainly didn’t expect to get my first posting where I did, however, one does not question the reasoning powers of the higher ups unless you want to spend the next six months cleaning the stables and I dislike that idea completely. 

I know that I am making the magisters crazy with my weekly trips in there with the same questions in regard to this Dawnglory guy.  Well, this week was kind of expensive because the magister actually had something for me this time.  It was a picture of the guy that I am inquiring about and the picture told me exactly what I wanted to know.  This man is my Father, he has to be because the image, although somewhat faded in the photograph was enough like me to be me – a lot older, however, he won’t be able to deny the family resemblance. Same nose, same hair, same smile – the eyes aren’t as large as mine but I got that trait from my Mom, I guess. Now, I just have to find out exactly where he is.

I know it’s going to be a big shock to him to find out that he has a child, not so much as child anymore, however, it should just rattle his senses enough to where he will at least acknowledge me.  That way, I can go back to my grandparents in Silvermoon and tell that I did find my Father without their help and my Mom wasn’t just some silly fool.  She knew who the man was, she just didn’t tell anyone.

Of all the places to be assigned!  Somehow I must have made someone angry with me because I’m to report to Hillsbrad to start my rounds as a Ranger.  From what I’ve heard it’s an awful place and full of Forsaken.  It’s bad enough that I have to leave Silvermoon and some of my friends behind but now I have to go stay around Forsaken, the whole thing makes my skin crawl.  I wanted to complain about the assignment like some of the others were doing, however, I didn’t step up to complain when I heard what they were being told.

I guess only the best of the best are being sent to Orgrimmar to help quell the rebellion there, the rest of us have to continue on with our training so that we can earn our way to Pandaria.  I guess I should be happy that I wasn’t at the top of my class because that assignment actually sounds worse than what I got.  I can’t imagine being stuck in Orgrimmar all of the time at the beck and call of the Kor’kon.  I don’t care what their title is, they’re still savages and they are still Orcs.  I haven’t met many Orcs in Silvermoon, however, the ones I did meet were of lesser education and they were just rude.  Just because you’re an Orc doesn’t make you that special, especially if the Warchief is crazy and he’s an Orc.

Oh, there’s lots of talk in the barracks about the things going on in Kalimdor.  Seems like the Orcs have gone completely crazy along with their boss.  Doesn’t sound like it’s a good place to be at all and the survivability isn’t that great for a Sindorei sent out with them on patrol.  Especially if the Sindorei happen to be Rangers that are supposed to be scouting for them and are supposed to join back with the Orcs to help with any fighting.  I hear that the Orcs just go into some kind of blood lust and sometimes they kill anything that moves, even the people that are supposed to be their compatriots.  Doesn’t sound too good to me, however, the people that go there first and survive are sent directly to Pandaria and they don’t have to spent months slogging through the mud around Hillsbrad.

The only thing that I am really not looking forward to is running into those people from Gilneas because they turn into wolves now.  Can’t be all that exciting because they are really big wolves and would stick out from the rest of the wildlife there, I suppose.  My Commander over there is some Forsaken lady and to be honest with you, I really don’t know how that is going to work out.

We were supposed to be billeted in Undercity and I think that it’s a good thing that that idea got killed off real quick when we were shown the “coffins” that we were supposed to sleep in.  No, I wasn’t going to do that in any way shape and form.  I’m not sleeping in a coffin and I don’t care if they are supposed to be real comfortable and all that.  What’s to prevent someone from closing the lid on the thing and you get hauled off and buried in your sleep?   No, we all kind of rebelled against that idea even with the orders that were given to us that we were going to like it.  No, a few of us put our money together and we’re staying in Brill.  It’s full of Forsaken too, however, it’s above ground and the stench is at least bearable with whatever they call this “fresh” air.  I thought I was going to gag when we were in the city – the water was so green and slimy looking that we all thought that it must be poisoned. 

I thought I had seen and gone through a lot with boot camp and the training that we got there, however, we were at least given a decent place to sleep in the barracks and we could eat the food.  I’m not sure that I am going to be able eat anything around these Forsaken. I know that we were told before we came over here that they had some odd habits, however, they didn’t tell us that they were cannibals or that’s what it looked like to me when we were riding through the area to get to Hillsbrad.   We passed through some areas where the Forsaken were fighting what we think were Worgen and they didn’t look like they were looting the bodies so much as they eating parts of them.  I know a couple of the other fellows just threw up out the back of  the wagon.

At least we were able to keep the mounts that we had in Silvermoon.  I know that I would have hated to give up my hawkstrider after spending all of those months training him.  He’s a real pretty animal, all black and the tack that I was able to get for him really sets that off.  A fellow still likes to look nice when he is on a mount like that.

Hanlin Darkstrider

 

Making Inquiries

March 2nd

Dear Journal,

Oh, well, I guess I need to have to write in a journal so that I can keep track of everything that I am doing.  First off, my name is Hanllan Darkstrider and I am a Ranger – well, not yet but I am going to be one when I finish my training here in Silvermoon and then I’ll be shipped off to the latest war. I decided to keep a journal because there are just some things that a fellow can’t talk to his acquaintances about. Besides, this is one of the last things that my Mother gave me before she died – she always kept one, I don’t know why, she never did anything interesting other than go to a few parties with my Grandparents.

I’m still going through my training for the Rangers and while I like it very much, there a few things that I would like to change.  Oh, I know, I’m just a recruit and I have a lot to learn, however, if we supposed to be Rangers, we shouldn’t be doing some of these menial chores.  I mean, they could get some kid to run errands for them and not use us like little errand boys.

Silvermoon seems different to me since my Mom died and my Grandparents kicked me out on the street pretty much.  I had already completed most of my studies at the Academy, however, I really didn’t have any means to earn a living.  I suppose I could have joined those people in Murder’s Row and hijacked a few people – that didn’t appeal to me at all.

At least my Mother told me who my Father was before she died.  She just said the man was named Dawnglory and that he was a Ranger.  She didn’t even know if he was still alive or not but she knew he was the man that had sired me.  She wasn’t one of those other ladies that plied their trade through the streets of the city. 

She came from a good family even if they didn’t have tons of money. I know that my Grandparents seemed to punish her for me being born because they couldn’t make a suitable marriage for her anymore because she was “used” – that always made me angry.  I was well taken care of regardless of the fact that my birthright was highly questionable and was given the family name.

So, with the war going on in Panderia, the Rangers were taking open enrollment for their ranks.  It was better than being drafted – I volunteered.  At least I can live in the barracks and eat there, even if the food does taste like something that should have found its way into the nearest trash can.

I’ve made a lot inquiries with the Rangers about a fellow named Dawnglory.  They had several on their rolls, although, there was only one that had been in Silvermoon during the end of scourge invasion – that has to be him.

I know that one of the trainers looked at me rather strangely when I asked him if he knew of a fellow named Dawnglory or not and told me that he knew of one, from a long time ago. He said that the last he knew of him was when they had shipped out a bunch of Rangers to Kalimdor to The Barrens. He also told me that if I wanted to find Dawnglory, I could look for another fellow by the name of Morningstar because they were always friends and together.  He said he remembered Dawnglory being a bit wild and a womanizer back then.  They just chalked it up to his being from Shattrath and not Silvermoon.

So, I went to the headquarters, sat in the hallway for a while until I could steel up my nerve to go talk to one of the Magistrates.  I finally went in and explained that I was looking for someone and I had hoped that he could help me. 

I told him that I was looking for a relative, a fellow by the name of Dawnglory and he gave me a list with about two hundred Dawnglory on it and I also asked him if he knew anything about a Morningstar.  That list was shorter but not by much.  Of course, that led to more questions and more answers that were given out with some very terse language.  I finally saw that one of the Morningstar names had a star next to it and asked about that one.  I was told that it signified that the Ranger had left the service and returned to a high ranking position. So, me being me, I asked where this fellow was stationed and was told that they didn’t give out that information.  I gave the Magistrate a small pouch of gold and asked again.  That’s when I found out that this fellow is in the war in Panderia.

Great!  If my Father is with this Morningstar fellow, then they are really out of my reach at the moment.  I think that I will write to him and hope that I get some kind of response. Oh no, I’m not going to tell him that I am getting in touch with him so that I can find my Father.  I will ask him if he knows of a Dawnglory though.  I’ll just tell him that I am looking for a long lost relative.  My name is Darkstrider, there shouldn’t be any way that there could be a connection with this Dawnglory fellow.

It’s really important that I find my Father because he’s the only family that I have now.  My Grandparents have pretty much disowned me since Mother died and they won’t even let me in the house anymore.  I guess being a bastard child is like you don’t exist.  All the years that they let me live there with Mother, they treated me differently than their other grandchildren and I always felt left out, however, they were the only family that I knew. They are still supposed to be my family, right?

I guess I had better stop writing in here and try to write a somewhat intelligent letter to this Morningstar fellow and see if I can get some answers.

Han Darkstrider