Shadowmoon Valley…


December 23rd

Dear Journal,

I will willingly admit that neither Kae nor I wanted to make this trip to Draenor, however, duty calls and there was no way that we could justify not serving.  A Sentinel is always a Sentinel and a Scout with the aforementioned Sentinel has no excuse not to go with them either.

I think that we had everything pretty much taken care of in Pandaria for the most part and I hope that Jogu will take care of the farm while we are gone too.  I have no great expectations on his abilities, however, he was the only one left that we could ask since the majority of our neighbors are also in the same situation of having to leave that pleasant lifestyle behind and we have to move forward with the rest.  Oh well, I am sure that we will be going back there for visits when we can and that first visit back will definitely be one that the two of us will definitely look forward too.

This whole Draenor thing is hard for me to wrap my head around and I am not going to worry about it because I will just go where we are ordered and do the job that I am supposed to do and be done with it eventually.  Oh, I understand all of the supposed reasons that we are here and will just have to accept that at face value because I have no other choice in the matter.  I guess that sums that up, right?

Kae and I did survive the initial onslaught into this strange land and we didn’t get injured too badly other than a few nicks here and there and a couple of interesting bruises that can come from just getting into close contact with someone, didn’t even have to be friend or foe either – it was as if we had joined in a full on mob assault and that’s just how it had to be in order for us to drive back the Iron Horde and to start our adventure in saving this land from itself.  Not as bad as all of the Sha influence in Pandaria but I honestly can’t tell that much difference – we’re here to right a wrong and that’s just the whole gist of what I understand.  It’s not for me to reason why, I’m here to do a job.

I will have to admit that after the initial shock and the landing on Draenor proper, we were pleasantly surprised by ending up in Shadowmoon Valley.  Oh, we had the family name long before we even knew of the existence of Shadowmoon, however, it always gives me a chuckle when I think about it.  One of these days I will have to ask my grandparents where the name actually came from, it definitely didn’t come from Outland, or maybe it did and I would almost believe that it didn’t come from this land either.

Shadowmoon Valley is so totally different from what I am used to in Azeroth, however, it is still somewhat familiar at the same time.  I don’t know how to explain that feeling of déjà vu that I have here.  Where the Shadowmoon Valley in Azeroth is full of demons, lava and other dangerous things, this Shadowmoon Valley has a different appearance as well as a whole new set of dangers.   Some of the mountains look familiar in so far as their location, however the rest of the landscape is totally alien to me.

This Shadowmoon Valley is rolling hills, mountains and very lush plains.  A lot of elekk roam the area as well as I’ve seen more Draeni here than I think I ever did even while I was living in Shattrath.  The Draeni that are native here on Draenor are similar to the Azeroth Draeni with the exception that there are more of them here than there was at home. The ones here don’t seem to be as aloof as the Draeni that I grew up with in Shattrath.

It’s a beautiful and yet dangerous territory that we have ventured into and I will have to admit that I do like it.  There is so much to see and so much to take in that it is really hard for me to explain the mixed emotions that I have about it.  Of course, Pandaria was my first military adventure and my first real time away from the family and the company, however, this even feels like it might be a step above that.

I know that Kae is constantly telling me to close my mouth because I am constantly amazed by all of the things that I am seeing here  and my mouth usually drops open making me look like an imbecile sometimes – things familiar and yet different from what I grew up with in our Outland.  How could a place so horrible and deadly in my home world be so beautiful and alluring as this Shadowmoon Valley currently is.  I guess what I am trying to say that I know that the things that Legion did before I was ever even born totally devastated the area and the people that were living in it.  While the old place is one that I never willingly spent much time in, this one just might be hard for me to pull myself away from it all at the same time.

Oh yes, the Iron Horde have left their mark on the area and we are still chasing after them as well as getting into the occasional skirmish with them when we chance upon them on our patrols.  It does remind me very much of the activity that we faced when we first hit Pandaria and the opposition that we had to overcome in the Jade Forest.   I know that there are a few strongholds here in the valley that the Iron Horde have built up, however, they are definitely a temporary roadblock for us, I’m sure.  I am proud to say that the Alliance is definitely showing their abilities to our advantage here – maybe all of those months in Pandaria have taught us all how to take this sort of thing in our stride.

At least Kae and I have a decent little house to stay in and it really kind of reminds me of some of the places that are on the outskirts of Stormwind.  Same kind of structures although they still smell very new – the smell of the freshly carpentered wood that was used to make the house is still very aromatic.  Yes, we do have to share the house with another couple, however, it is much better for us rather than being stuck in the barracks or the tents.  At least we have some privacy here and it is greatly appreciated.

Kae and I both miss our little house in Pandaria where we could be lazy and sit around in our robes if we felt like it and not have to be embarrassed by doing so.  I know that the couple we are sharing the place with are usually on opposite schedules than we are and we actually don’t spend that much time in their company, however, the time that we have spent with them has been very pleasant.

I know that my Father is up here in Draenor someplace however, I did hear that their landing area was a lot less inviting than where we ended up.  I know that my Dad probably isn’t too keen on spending all of this time in an icy cold area that almost looks like Northrend.  He always complained when we were in Northrend, not in Dalaran, that there wasn’t any way that you could ever get warm enough there on the coast and I have to agree with him on that matter.

At least I don’t have too many people looking at me as strangely as they did in Pandaria because we are all too busy staying alive.  I think that there must be some reason when they are so willing to accept a person of my heritage in this land than they were before in Azeroth.   I have to laugh because they may not have noticed it  either because the green in my eyes could very easily be a reflection from the surroundings and not a genetic thing after all, right?

At least our patrols aren’t as long as they were in Pandaria due to the vastness and the newness of the area.  It isn’t easy to stay on your toes for days on end when you’re patrolling the surrounding areas from our base.  We’ve just barely started getting into the interior of the land now and those patrols are pretty dangerous and have been given over to some of the more experienced Sentinels and Scouts.  It’s okay, I can accept that too because I think that Kae and I fall in the middle there somewhere on the experience level.  At least we didn’t get assigned to that idiot commander that we had in Pandaria this time because that would have been the final straw to break our backs after having to leave our happy little farm behind.   We’re with a totally different group that came out of Feathermoon in Kalimdor, they seem to be more about what we’re supposed to be doing and not willing to spend so much of the off time worrying about how people are living their lives when they aren’t on duty.  It’s a nice change and the kind of thing that I had always expected from the Sentinels.

Well, I am getting that look from my lovely lady that I need to put my things away and get ready to head back out on yet another patrol.  I wonder how long we will be in Draenor?  No one has actually said anything about that either.  I know that we still have forces stationed in and around Pandaria even after all of this time, however, I think that the hostilities may be of lesser importance there than they are here.  Well, we’re still chasing after that Horde Warchief that went insane and escaped after his capture – that’s why we’re here.  He did his level best to destroy Azeroth and I don’t think that he is going to have much of an opportunity to destroy this land too.

Kaldor Shadowmoon

 

Kae’s Thoughts…


November 17th

Dear Journal,

Oh my the seasons are changing rather rabidly here, even in the Valley of Four Winds.  There is a certain chill in the air first thing in the morning that even has the smell of freshly fallen snow – the wind comes down off the mountains, I’m sure.  One thing that I am not enjoying at this time of year is all of the rain, it seems like it doesn’t want to stop, however, that doesn’t mean that we get a day off from harvesting the crops and fighting off the vermin.

Kal has been good on his word of not going to hang out with his old friends in Stormwind and I am happy about that because I think that he was starting to drink way too much and forgetting what his priorities actually were here at the farm and yes, even forgetting that we have an informal commitment to one another.   I know that he is still toying with the idea of going back to Darnassus and taking our pledge at the Moonwell and I know that it is a big thing for the two of us.  I don’t think that I need it that badly, however, it’s something that we want to do in the near future.  Maybe over Winter Veil we can do that?

We’ve spent a good deal of time talking about his family and how he was raised. It sounds as if he has had his own life shaken up a few times with the relationship that his Father and Mother have had over the years, however, Amyn seems to be the one that is the most stable of the two.  What can I say, his Father is very much the Sindorei in all facets of his life it seems and Amyn must have the patience of a priestess to have been able to handle all of the changes that she has gone through with her Sindorei.

Kal definitely has a lot of his Father’s traits sometimes and that is going to be the one thing that will cause us trouble if we both aren’t aware of it.  His fixation on his appearance is definitely a Sindorei thing and I will have to admit that I do take a lot of pride in being seen with him when he is all dressed up in his best.  He’s a handsome man and very masculine – I can really see why some of the girls at the camp were throwing themselves at him all of the time, however, I was the lucky one that captured his heart it seems.

I know that I was laughing at him a couple of days ago when he asked when I wanted to go back to the Jade Temple so that we could do some washing and some fishing.  Honestly, I could do the washing here at the farm just as easily, although I would miss those little outings of ours.  Oh, we still make a day of it and sit there with our packed lunch and some wine and fish. It’s not exactly what some of the girls would all a romantic moment, however, it’s romantic for us.

Oh, I have been watching Dawnglory and his little family at his farm over the fence.  Their little girl is really going to be quite the handful when she starts actually walking more.  I know that she definitely looks like her Father and I think that she is going to be as beautiful as her red-haired Mother.   I had to come in the house to hide my laughter because the little girl definitely has quite the vocabulary and her one word that anyone can understand regardless of faction is “No” – she was smacking her own little chubby hands every time she was reaching out to grab one of the plants that her Mother was weeding. Nothing like having a child that can do self-discipline.

It is definitely times like those, watching the family next door, that I wish that Kal and I had a child of our own.    I know that I have broached the subject with Kal a few times and he always wrinkles his nose up and looks at me like I have said a terrible thing.  I  think we would make great parents and our children would be beautiful.  He keeps telling me that he would hate to bring a child into this world right now because there is so much going on that he doesn’t feel comfortable subjecting another living being of his own blood into the mess.    He always laughs and tells me that we need to get used to the two of us being together first before we introduce someone else into the situation.  Frankly, I think he’s just stalling and unbeknownst to him, I’ve stopped taking my tea a couple of weeks ago, so, we may already have a baby in the works, only Elune knows.   I know that that is a sneaky thing to do to a fellow, however, if it does come to pass, I am in hopes that he will be happy about it.

I know that we are both concerned that there might be more troubles for us in the near future too.  With all of the rumors floating around Pandaria and with some of the things that we have heard in Stormwind when we last went there, we both may be jumping back in with our Sentinels and setting off for a new adventure.  I know that we both would like to have more of a respite than what we have had and some time to enjoy the life that we have carefully crafted here in Pandaria.  Our farm is wonderful and I know that Kal takes great pride in how it has turned out.  If we are forced back into our duty again, we will be searching for someone to manage the place for us because we aren’t going to give it up and go off only to come back to the “nothing” that might be left behind if we surrendered the farm.

I guess that I am going to keep an ear out to see if there is anymore gossip about these new problems that might be facing Azeroth.  Right now, all we can do is to live one day at a time and hope that this blows over and doesn’t yank us away from the things and people we love.

Oh, I don’t like the look on Kal’s face right now, he just came in from getting the mail and he’s holding two envelopes that look kind of official.   Well, I suppose that I should cut this short and see what has happened now.  By  Elune, that man does not look like he’s all that happy.

 

Kae

 

 

A Matter of Give and Take…


April 27th

Dear Journal,

I will have to admit that I am still very angry with Kal.  He promised me faithfully that he would not get into any more predicaments when he went to Stormwind and he lied.  Not only did he lie, he just ignored the fact that he had made the promise – he never said that, exactly, however, he did look terrible when he got home the other morning.  Yes, it was morning again, not the same day that he had left either.  It was supposed to be a quick trip and back to Halfhill – however, it turned into one of those two day events with a sleepover in Stormwind.

I know that he is used to living his own way, however, that wasn’t the plan when I left the Sentinels.  I was going to work with him and help make money and work on the farm with him as well.  Now, it seems I get left behind at the farm and off he goes adventuring in Stormwind.  I am not sure that I care for some of his friends, although, they seemed to tolerate my presence the last time I saw any of them while I was still in the Sentinels.

It’s not like he forced me to leave the Sentinels, I did it for myself and for him.  He no longer wanted to be a Scout and I didn’t feel comfortable going out in the field for days at a time learning him at home, maybe I should have just stayed with the Sentinels because now I am the one that is being left behind in Halfhill.

I truly gave up the only life that I have known to be with him because I love him beyond reason, which, may be a bit one sided.  He says that he loves me, however, his actions her lately are not showing that to me that much.  He’s all apologetic and he is constantly giving me gifts, however, I need to sit him down and tell him that he can’t buy my forgiveness nor can he buy my love with money and gifts.  That’s not how that works or that’s how I feel.

When he got home the other morning, I was so angry at his appearance and his extended absence that I just walked out of the house.  I know that I didn’t even ask him if he was okay.  His armor looked a mess, he had burn marks on his arms and a few places on his ears, however, I wasn’t going to ask him what happened.  All I know is that he went to Stormwind and was supposed to pick up more contracts from Magdamia and come back after he had gotten paid for the stock and contracts we had completed.

I haven’t been home in almost a week now and I know that he is looking for me, however, I know Pandaria almost as well as he does, so, I know how to stay out of sight as much as possible.  I just need some time to think things over and decide what it is that I want to do.  Do I want to stay in this relationship that seems to have gone eschew and a bit one sided or do I want to go back to the Sentinels and try to put this behind me?

It just breaks my heart to think that I have given almost everything up to be with the man that I love and he is just wild and crazy.  I never saw this side of him when he was my Scout and we were living together even though we both had our duties to attend too.   I know that now that he doesn’t have to follow the discipline of the Sentinels, he’s kind of gone off the deep end a little bit with his independence.

I know we’re both young and we should take our time, however, I do think that he and I need to sit down and talk about a few things.  I can’t stand this constant evasion of telling me beforehand that he is going to meet his friends in Stormwind and he might be gone longer than what we had planned initially.  I am tired of worrying about him and tired of the fact that I get left behind  most of the time.  Yes, I love the farm and I love the house that we have built together, however, I wasn’t planning on being there alone.

Maybe this comes from his mix-breeding, I don’t know and I doubt that this is something that I can talk to his Mother about.  I need to talk to someone and see how they think I should feel about the whole thing.  I know that I will probably go talk to some of the girls back at the camp although I am loathe to do that because they will gossip about how Kal and I aren’t getting along or something.   Maybe I can talk to one of the Pandaren monks and see what he or she  advises  or just maybe go back to Darnassus and seek counsel with the priests and pray to Elune for a while.

I’m not going to let Kal know where I am right now, let him think about the things that have happened and he needs to make a few choices and adjustments, I can’t be the only one doing that.

Kae

What’s Next?


March 1st

Dear Journal,

I don’t know whether I should be angry or just be thankful that he was able to return home to me in one piece.  I want to shake some sense into him and then at the same time, I want to hold him tightly in my arms to make sure that he doesn’t disappear on me again.

Kal went to Stormwind to deliver some of the goods that we had collected for our contracts, pick up some more and to get paid for the work we had done.  That seemed like a normal thing to do and I always know that he will stay a little bit longer to visit with his friends that he has back there, which I don’t mind.  It’s a normal progression of things and shouldn’t have been a big deal.  I didn’t go because I had some things that I wanted to finish up here at the farm. This should have been a one day trip at most – at the most, not a two day sojourn without a word from him.

When Kal  finally got home, I was just coming out of the paddock where we keep our Yaks and I saw him limping up the road to the farm.  Normally, I would have rushed to him to welcome him back and to find out why the heck he was walking with a limp. No, this time I was a bit angry with the fact that his one day trip took a lot longer and he hadn’t even sent me word.

Come to find out, he had gone on an expedition of sorts with those friends of his that took him far afield.  Apparently, they had been hired by someone to go to the Hinterlands, lovely place to visit, to gather some information in regard to a recent attack and increased activity in the trolls in the area.  It appears that the trolls had been attacking some of the dwarfs living in the settlement there as well as ambushing a few farms.  The keyword that I think I’m questioning is “investigate” – to me that means to do a reconnaissance of the area, nothing more, nothing less.

From what Kal told me of this little side trip, which should have been much less than what it turned out to be, they ran into a band of trolls and had a skirmish that lasted a while.  Poor fellow got attacked by some ghouls, trolls, mages, priest and Elune only knows what else.  He had been bitten and chewed on by a ghoul as well as getting a flesh would in his shoulder.  Nothing serious, mind you, however, these wounds could have been prevented if he had just sad that he wasn’t going to Hinterlands with his friends.

At least someone had taken the time to address his injuries for him before he decided to come home to Pandaria.  The wounds aren’t serious and it looks as though they have been cleansed thoroughly and dressed properly. Naturally, I redid them all after taking a close inspection of my own.  I’m grateful that he was attended too when he was in Stormwind.

I now think that the next time he takes one of these trips of his, I am going to go with him instead of thinking that he won’t be lead astray into something that might get him killed.  I think it is high time that I make my presence known with his friends too because so far, I’ve only met them once in One Keg and they seemed likeable enough, however, after this trip, I can see that they can be a dangerous lot.  I can understand that they were in it for the money and I don’t see why Kal felt compelled to join in that because he has plenty of money of his own and isn’t that desperate.

We are supposed to go to the Jade Temple today to do some fishing as well as a few other things.  I know Kal would much rather stay home and sleep, however, this time, it’s not going to happen.  his wounds are not that serious and we have obligations that need to be met there.

I’m not a clingy woman by any means, however, with these things happening whenever he gets with his friends in Stormwind, I think that I am going to be a shadow following him around.  I need to find out what these people are about, they don’t seem to be the overly adventurous  about things and yet, they take on a task like this for mere pennies.  All I can see about them so far is that they are thieves and possibly, hired assassins.  As Kal’s companion, I have a right to know what he has gotten himself involved in.

Kae

Just A Lazy Day In Halfhill


February 2nd

Dear Journal,

Oh, I can definitely tell that it is still Winter even here in Halfhill.  The cold wind and rain this morning was a reminder that we probably have a few more weeks before Spring finally arrives.

I’m just sitting here watching Kal sleep this morning and I always have to laugh because he looks so young when he’s asleep and makes me wonder what his children might look like one day.  He has a habit of lying flat on his back, however, he always seems to have his hand up next to his cheek.  I bet he was a beautiful baby.

I actually hadn’t planned on Kal being home last night because he had gone to Stormwind to deliver some of the goods that we had collected for our contracts and would be picking more up.  I know that we both have enjoyed the changes in our lives since I left the Sentinels and we’re especially enjoying the profits that we are making with our hard work now.  At least we don’t have a set schedule anymore and we can pretty much do what we want most of the time.

I’ve been sticking fairly close to the farm since I left the Sentinels and I think that has Kal a bit concerned because he said that it was like I was trying to distance myself from everything and he was hoping that it didn’t include him.  After our argument in regard to my cooking ability and muffins that could kill things as needed, he spent the entire next week under the house and caught a terrible cold.

I’ve spent the last few days nursing him back to health and coddling him a bit more than usual.  He was very apologetic about the fact that he hadn’t told me the truth about how my muffins really were and that he wouldn’t do that again.  He also kept leaving me flowers and other small gifts on the front step every day too, which made me feel better and guilty all at the same time.  I think it was the fact that he didn’t tell me the truth and the publicly humiliated me with his friends, even if I wasn’t there.

It really did hurt my feelings and I think it hurt my pride too because I am trying so hard to do the things that normal people do.  I’m just now learning how to cook some of the dishes that I have always liked when we would eat dinner with friends and I think that they are turning out fairly well.  Oh, I’ve had a few accidents with stuff, however, I quickly dispose of them by feeding those to the pigs, none have died yet.

I know that we are both enjoying the luxury of being able to sleep in when we want too.  We’ve both been staying under the furs cuddling for a while in the morning lately and it has definitely been a great start to the day.  Looking deep into those silver green flecked eyes of his is always like losing myself for a little while and let’s just say that he definitely has improved with his lovemaking since we have been together. I’m probably the most satisfied woman in Pandaria and I hope he is the most satisfied man.  I know that week of not having him in the bed with me was a very lonely week for me because I have gotten very used to having him lying there next to me and I missed those honeyed kisses and warm caresses.  However, I was angry enough with him that it was just one of those rough spots in our relationship.

I actually feel like I am coming down with a cold or something because my whole body feels a bit off balance.  Not to mention, I’ve been battling something with my stomach the last few days and I’m almost afraid that it might be from my own cooking, however, it hasn’t seemed to bother Kal at all.  I have already decided that if I keep feeling like this and a “cold” doesn’t show up in force, I’m going to go see a healer because I definitely do hate feeling like this.

I guess that Kal didn’t get to see his Mother yesterday like he had planned.  She’s off in Nagrand and Shattrath for a few days, that might explain why we haven’t seen his Father at his farm either.  I know that neither one of them has been able to spend some extended time with each other since she left Pandaria.  Kal just said that he wanted to talk to her about a few things and was hoping that the little guys were in Stormwind.  Guess with his Mother being gone, the little ones were in Dolonaar with their grandparents again.  He said that Vashlan was busy while he was there, so, they didn’t even get a chance to talk that much either.

Kal really is close to his family and sometimes it worries me because I am always afraid that they won’t like for some reason.  Kal’s Mom seems to like me very much however, she did caution me not to try to pressure Kal into something that he might not be ready for because it would spell disaster for the both of us.  It was kind of odd that she would say something like that because she knows that we haven’t taken our vows at the Moonwell yet and that we’re pretty happy with the way that things are at the moment. I think that Kal will be happier once the business is up and running in Shattrath because it was his home when he was a boy and it’s a place where the whole family can be together, plus, the house in Nagrand is supposedly very beautiful according to him.

I guess they don’t mind staying together in one house so that they can have some quality family time.  I’m not sure how I am going to feel about that because I haven’t spent very much time with the family.  It’s hard for me to figure it out too because I never had a real family, I grew up with the communal living and lived with various families over the years.  The only kind of family that I have ever been familiar with has been my time in the Sentinels and that was very comforting to me.  I know Kal misses being with his brothers and his parents something awful sometimes and bemoans the fact that Dalaran is no longer a haven for them to be together.  The only real free city in Azeroth is Shattrath at the moment and I hope that it doesn’t change for his family’s sake.

I do have to laugh at myself because I have only met Kal’s Father and his Mother.  Naturally, I am in awe of his Father, what a beautiful man with all of that black hair and let’s just say that I know where Kal got some of his good looks, he has the same smile and sometimes the timbre of his voice is very much like his Father.  I can see why Kal’s Mother fell in love with him, he seems to be the kind of man that would be very kind and very caring although Kal told me that his Dad hasn’t always been that way, it came along through time.  Naturally, Kal hasn’t told me all of the gory details, however, I do know that the two youngest boys are not the Sindorei’s and that there was a Step-Father for a while that Kal respected very much and was deeply fond of.  I suppose I’ll find out about all of the family in time.

We had planned on going to Shattrath for Winter Veil, however, his family wasn’t able to make a gathering of the clan out of it because everyone was just too busy to do anything. I think that Kal was disappointed because he wanted me to meet his Aunts and definitely wanted me to get a chance to talk to all of them.  I did ask him if they spoke Common when they were together or what?  He just laughed at me and told me that they spoke both Orcish and Common, sometimes his Dad spoke his native tongue until his spouse would give him a “look” and he’d switch back to Orcish most often.  He said that when they were together, you really had to stay on your mental toes to keep up with everything that was going on.  Now, this year, from what I have hard, the business should be open in Shattrath and we will all be down there for the holidays. I hope that we can all get together before Winter Veil.

I guess there was an event in Stormwind while Kal was there that is like a story circle of some sort where people all get up tell different stories.  He said it was really good and he said that some of his friends were there as well.  Even his best friend Civardi got up and told a tale.  He actually told me that he wants me to start going with him to these things so that I can finally meet them.  I reminded him that I did meet them in One Keg, however, I don’t think that they felt all that comfortable around me because I was still with the Sentinels and some of them had some unsavory things in their past or they were involved in things that the authorities would frown upon now.  I’m looking forward to meeting them though because they seem to play an important part in Kal’s life.

 

Well, I think that I am going to go back to bed with Kal, the rain and wind don’t seem to be easing up a whole lot and it feels chilly although I have stoked up the fire already.  Ah well, we didn’t have anything planned for the day, we might as well get some much needed sleep and rest.

Kae

 

 

Not Quite Domestic Bliss


January 18th

Dear Journal,

I don’t think that I have ever been this angry with Kal since we have been together, however, it’s not so much anger as it is being humiliated.  While I will admit that leaving the Sentinels has been a real hard adjustment for me, becoming somewhat domestic has been more than an stressful thing and very trying.

Yes, I knew how to cook some very good dishes and I knew how to cook any kind of game that I killed, however, some of this other stuff, I wasn’t all that familiar with.  Kal kept talking about these wonderful muffins that his Mother used to make for him when he was growing up, so, being the blissfully happy person at being “free” from duties at last, I contacted his Mother and got the recipe.  Gathering the materials wasn’t all that difficult because our farm is very close to the market here in Halfhill.  I did have to substitute a few things because the Pandaren had no idea what some of the stuff was.  I made the muffins and gave them to him for breakfast one morning as a surprise.  Oh, he seemed so happy to have them and kept remarking on how good they were.  So, I started making them frequently, not too often because I didn’t want them to become something that he got bored with.

Little did I know that my muffins were horrid and what I thought he was eating, he was stuffing in his belt pouch.  I thought he was eating an awful lot of them, however, since they were a favorite, I didn’t say anything, just made more for him.

Come to find out, he was using the muffins to kill the vermin in the fields by throwing them at them.  He was also using them to add some extra strength to some of the fencing.  I had found a couple of the muffins and just thought that he might have dropped them or something.

Anyway, to make a long story short. Kal went on an adventure with some of his friends and I guess that my muffins were used for quick and dirty ammo.  I wouldn’t have ever known if Kal hadn’t been drinking and told me about it.  Stupid man, he should never drink and come home to tell me about what he has been up too.  I am so embarrassed that I don’t know that I will ever be able to face these people again.  I have met them on a few occasions, however, that was when I was still with the Sentinels and they weren’t all that friendly since they had some unsavory reputations.

Oh, let’s just say that we had quite the verbal battle and he slept under the house last night in a blanket roll.  Maybe I over-reacted, I don’t know but he should have never told me about it.  I think that the next time I try to make something new in the kitchen, I’ll let someone else test them for me that will be a bit more honest about how they really are.

I really am trying.  Elune guide me in my endeavors to make Kal a good mate.  I love him dearly, however, he really needs to be a bit more diplomatic about things that I do and not hurt my feelings and especially not share that with his friends.

Kae

 

Just Thoughts and Musings….


September 21st

Dear Journal,

I haven’t had much of an opportunity to write of late what with the duties with the Sentinels and trying to keep up with Kal most of the time.  It’s raining as per usual here in Halfhill; however, Kal decided that was the best time to pull weeds for some reason.

If the truth were to be known, I think that he just wanted to get away from me for a little while because we have been having some rather deep discussions of late about the way things are in the Sentinels and the changes that have come to pass in the Vale.  Kal is worried that another type of danger is going to come about with the way that the goblins are digging like little fiends in the Vale and we’re heard those rumors about Old Gods and we know how power greedy that Garrosh is.

I know I was heartsick at the way that the Horde have destroyed a portion of the Vale, the mine has definitely made an eyesore in that area and it used to be so beautiful.  There was always a sense of peace there and now there is that urgency that you feel when you know that there is going to be a big battle of some kind.  I just wish that it would hurry up and happen just to have it over.  I am getting sick of the feelings of dread.

Oh yes, we’ve been talking quite a bit about my leaving the Sentinels and Kal wants to quit being a Scout.  He has assured me that we would make even more money by going to work full time for his Mother’s company out of Stormwind.  I suppose we already make quite a bit of money from that source anyway because we are constantly sending skins and artifacts back there and we don’t seem to be hurting for cash these days.

It’s not the money part that bothers me, it’s leaving the Sentinels.  It’s the only life that I have ever truly known and I am afraid to leave.  What if things don’t really work out for Kal and me?  I would be alone again and I do mean truly alone because I wouldn’t have my comrades to help me unless I rejoined.  I know that they would probably frown upon someone like me that leaves and comes back again. 

I know that Kal keeps telling me how much he cares for me and that he would never leave me, however, he’s never said those words that one wants to hear from their companion.  As sappy as it sounds, an “I love you”, wouldn’t be amiss to make me feel somewhat better.  I know that he has never said those words to me and we haven’t furthered our relationship at all other than living together, scouting together and sleeping together almost every night.  There really isn’t anyone that I can talk to about this because they would only tell me that that’s what I get for getting involved with a half-breed.  I don’t think it has anything to do with the racial mix, I think it has to do with the man himself.

I have been in love with a man before and there is no guarantee that they won’t come up missing or just walk away from you.  Those words can be comforting for the moment; however, I honestly don’t think that Kal would do that to me.  He is a very honorable man and he has never broken his word to me when he has made a promise of any kind.  He may have gotten hurt in the past and that’s why he won’t say those words or he is afraid to say them.  He’s a strange fellow sometimes and hard to read.

I’ll admit that the temptation is there to walk away from the Sentinels because it would mean that we would have more freedom to do the things that we enjoy.  Right now our patrols are long and arduous, however, we’re not seeing any build up of troops and we’re not seeing anything other than Orcs.  I can’t stand Orcs; they are vile evil smelly things that only know how to destroy things.

 If the rumors are true of what is going on in Kalimdor, I hate to think of what is becoming of my homeland.  Kal has some feelings for Kalimdor even if he was raised in Outland.  I know I almost dread going back there to visit some of my friends and now, with Kal’s Mother being in Dolonaar, I’m sure that we will be going to visit sometime in the near future.  Okay, they are more than rumors; however, I have gotten real good at denial about things that are unpleasant to me.

I wish I could make Kal understand about my feelings in regard to giving up the Sentinels.  He doesn’t seem to comprehend the idea that my life before I joined the Sentinels was not anything in comparison to his own.  I was shuttled from one family to the next for fostering and my life was not exactly one of peace and harmony.  I constantly had to adjust to living with other families and learning how they did things, I rarely had anything that I could call my “own” other than what few trinkets I could carry in my belt pouch and my bow. I never knew how my parents were although I was never considered an orphan because I assumed that they were still alive.

I could almost think that my Mother was a Sentinel and that my Father was a Scout rendering his services or possibly he could have been a man that my Mother cared about that didn’t want to take the vows.  It isn’t easy for a Sentinel to be a Mother and do her duties as easily as Kal’s Mother seems to be able to do so, however, she has a real family – she was never fostered out by her parents.

I love children, however, I’m not sure that I would ever want one of my own and I take my tea on a regular basis because I don’t want to bring a child into a situation like this.  If there was something more than “I care deeply for you”, I might give it some thought.  Kal and I have never discussed children, so, I am assuming that he feels pretty much the same way that I do about them at the moment.

I guess I should just let things keep going as they are for right now while I mull these thoughts over in my head and try to come to some conclusion.  No, I won’t leave Kal either because I know what my feelings are for him.  There is no question as to how I feel about him and I would do anything for him, almost anything.  I don’t know if it’s the security of the Sentinels or my doubts in regard as to how things may eventually work out with Kal.

I never thought that something that I had taken for granted for so much of my life could make things so complicated.  I know that Kal is getting very frustrated with me about this, however, he isn’t applying too much pressure yet although I know that he wants to get on with his life outside of the service.

Kae