Still Hidden…


September 19th

Dear Journal,

It really has been a long time since I have written in my journal, however, it is only because I have been too busy with my life to take the time to actually sit down and write about it.  So much studying, so much traveling and finally, a place where I can take a little respite.

The last time I wrote, I was still in Fairbreeze Village and getting used to doing things on my own again.  Not much to say other than the family disavowing my existence and disowning me is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me.  Of course, at the time, being a younger man, it was rather difficult to realize that there is no going home again, at least not for me.

My practices as a warlock were too much for my family to bear.  The shame, I suppose, for their only son to become something unacceptable by today’s society in Silvermoon was more than they could bear.  My Father was the one that didn’t want to have anything to do with me once he discovered that I was not truly the mage that he thought that I was after spending all of that time and money for me to attend school in Silvermoon proper.

Ah well, I always had leaned towards the darker arts due to the fact that I had discovered some of my Grandfather’s books in the attic and I started learning from them.  My Grandfather was one of those closeted warlocks, one that knew that it was certain death and ruin if his true magic was ever revealed.  I don’t think that anyone ever really found him out other than his family and they must have been scurrying frantically to keep that fact from coming out into the light of day.  Where did they think that all of that money came from – no mage could have earned that much wealth in a short amount of time. I’m not sure exactly what the fellow did, however, it did fill the coffers quite well for the rest of the family to live on even purchasing a very old title to go along with it.  Odd how those things can be bought sometimes and odd how no one ever seems to question that.

In the last year I have gone from being fairly penniless when I was removed from the family, by their choice, to being fairly wealthy in my own right.  I have traveled far and wide across this great world and I have found everything that I ever wanted.  I have a freedom that few have, no familial obligations and no social amours that have kept me bound to this plane.    Money never really has been a problem for me because I can get by on very little, however, my magic has helped me to gain a certain edge on how I can earn that commodity.  I won’t go into great detail on what it is that I have done because I can assure you that a lot of it was highly illegal.

I have made my way from the Eastern Kingdom through Kalimdor to this great new land of Pandaria.  I think that I have finally found the place where I can feel very comfortable with my art and I can keep on learning.  I have always had a healthy appetite for learning and growing at an amazing rate with that knowledge.   Of course, I am still one of those warlocks that likes to keep my dark arts a secret in order to maintain a certain amount of normalcy as well being more socially acceptable to those that have a different view of life.  It’s much easier to do in Pandaria because everyone is too busy trying to survive to try to pry into anyone’s background for the most part.

I went through the rebellion in Kalimdor unscathed other than a few wild chases through the streets of Orgrimmar in the actual battling to overthrow that fool of a Warchief.  No one seemed to notice that the mild mannered “mage” was something other than just that because in the heat of battle, all you truly care about is living through the ordeal and coming out on the other side of victory.  I will admit that there were some awkward times when I was asked to “heal” someone and I was unable to do so – no one seemed to notice that my ability in that area was less than stellar.

I will have to admit that in the last year I have become more powerful, with each move forward into this dark magic, I have learned that that power can be almost as addicting as the Fel itself.  I have learned how to call forth several demons from the Nether and have tamed them rather easily considering that I had no true formal training in that area – I have learned quite a bit from some of my friends that are as secretive about their true calling as I am.   Oh, I have had some harrowing experiences as I traveled through Outland, the magic there can be a bit tricky with the different types of magic blending into the surrounding areas – all that broken world and all that magic that you only need to call upon – you learn very quickly how to survive that fluctuations in the atmosphere.

As I wander around in Pandaria I have seen several warlocks that think nothing of the fact that their demons are exposed to others and that they “known” dark magic dealers.  I guess I am too steeped in the past history of warlocks to want to run that risk and be ostracized from the friends that I have made that are  of the non-magic variety.   Who knows if history will eventually repeat itself and warlocks will be hunted again as they were years ago in Silvermoon?  I will continue to keep my secret and continue to use my Sindorei charm and good looks to make my way.

I know that I have been able to finally translate some of the secrets of my Grandfather’s journals that I took from my home in Silvermoon before I was driven away and I have found out a great deal about how my society works in regard to magic.  It’s the dirty little secret that no one wants to get out.  It is totally acceptable to become a mage, a wielder of magic, however, leaning towards the dark arts is definitely still pretty much forbidden – why?   Fear of the unknown, perhaps, has shaped the way that people in the Eastern Kingdoms and Kalimdor deal with us – Outland is a different place, a different time and definitely has a bit more freedom for my kind.

I will continue to wander around in this great land gather my herbs, my knowledge of magic and making my potions in order to make a living.  No one questions me as to how I have gained my wealth and if they did, I am sure that they would think that I have some deep dark secrets as to how it came to pass – I do, however, they shall remain hidden and the bodies will never be found.

If the rumors are true and they come to fact, who knows where I will be by this next time year.  Another battle, another place and possibly more power to be wielded for my own pleasure?  I will continue to do my research and continue to survive.

Solerin Dawnshadow

Finding My Way…


July 11th

Dear Journal,

This being disowned by the family because I didn’t follow the straight and narrow course to becoming a mage has worked out fairly for me.  Being a mage was so boring to me and there are so many of them in Silvermoon, I’m sure that I won’t be missed by some of classmates either.

I have discovered that living on the edge and following the darker side of the magicks is much more fulfilling to me personally and quite profitable, all at the same time.  I just have to be extremely careful around some people because if they knew who and what I was, I’m sure that it would cause them some distress.   I’m sure that one young lady that I bedded recently would probably not be too thrilled to find out that she had been with a warlock – one of those evil fellows that society tells these women to stay away from.  It’s not being a warlock is contagious, it’s just a different kind of lifestyle.

I’m sure that some of my former friends are wondering why I wandered away from town and set up shop where I have.  Well, I’ll let them wonder, I’ve been telling them it was to further my studies through practical uses – I think my close friends actually know.  Anyway, life is treating me fairly well and I can’t complain.

I can’t explain to anyone the feelings that I have when I actually start destroying something with my magic.  It’s almost like a tonic of sorts, it makes me feel powerful and I like that feeling.  Controlling my minions is definitely a power trip although I am indeed wary of the succubus because she does try to seduce me every chance she gets.  From what I have read and from what I have heard a few others of my ilk talk about them, it’s almost like they try to seduce their masters to take the power away and put themselves in control, I won’t let that happen although she is very tempting at times. I’m working harder with my skills and I hope that one day I can do all of the things that I want to do – like amass a fortune of my own.

I did get to visit with my Mother not long ago.  She seems to be missing her only son quite a bit and even though my Father has forbidden me the house, she still considers me a part of the family even if my Father doesn’t any longer.  I know there is a special bond between Mothers and their children and I willingly admit that I do miss her and my sisters quite a bit sometimes.  My Father?  Well, I don’t miss him all that much because he truly has shown his true colors with the way that he carried on when he found out I was practicing the dark arts and not what he was paying the school for.  Oh well, maybe someday he will still realize that I’m his son, no matter the taint.

I have to say that I have gotten over any qualms I may have had about barging in on social events being held in and around the Ghostlands.  That’s how I meet people sometimes and while I am enjoying my new found freedom, I still have that craving for social interactions with my own kind.  It’s a normal thing and not one that I am going to say is not exactly the correct thing to do either.  I’ve met quite a few people just by chance and I’d like to make friends with them sometime in the future, however, I can only allow them to get so close without revealing what I am.

I know I made the choice to become a warlock and I haven’t regretted it yet, however, there may come a time when I do, you never know about life choices.  I do understand that once you’ve taken this path that there is really no way back – once you’ve tasted the taint of the magic, it will always be a part of you – there is no cure for it.

Solerin

 

To Be…Or Not To Be


February 20th

Dear Journal,

Well, isn’t this just a fine kettle of fish that I find myself in these days.  I was disowned by my family, kicked out the University and definitely put on the black list of Silvermoon society, if my Mother had her way.  That really seems to be about it, other than the fact that I was summarily booted out with just the clothes on my back and a gold filled pouch my Father decided to give me in lieu of standing up to my Mother, the raging bitch.

Oh, I suppose that I should introduce myself instead of just babbling on like this because if anyone should ever find or read this, it might be nice to know my name.  My name is Solerin Dawnshadow and I used to live in Silvermoon with a happy family.  People that know me well enough, just call me Sol.

My Mother was the only one that called me Solerin and it was usually because she was upset with me about something.  Oh, now she has my sisters to promote out of the house and marry off to the highest bidder – good on her, hope she can find someone that will take the whiny things.

I suppose everything would have been okay if I had walked the straight and narrow, however, it wasn’t in my nature to do that.  I was always drawn to the darker side of life.  Tell me I can’t do something and I will break my neck until I do “do it” regardless of the consequences.  Well, this time it was something that couldn’t be covered up or hidden away in a cupboard.

I suppose that my parents will keep paying for my son’s support and education – I never bothered getting married, she wasn’t someone of the same social ilk, so that was a taboo to start with.  Figures I’d find the only fertile whore in Silvermoon to knock up when it was my first time out. I’ve only seen the kid once and that was only briefly, he doesn’t look like me at all and I wonder if he is mine or she just decided that it looked like my family had more money than her other clients and it would be a good way to score an income that didn’t entail her being on her back all of the time.  I was only fourteen and was finding how everything worked, must have done a good job while I was at it.

Anyway, that’s neither here nor there.  What finally got me kicked out of the house and put on the list of people not to have anything to do with is that I decided to follow in the footsteps of my Grandfather.  Now that was a fellow I could look up too and be afraid of all at the same time.  He did his own thing and fought his way to the top of what the people in Silvermoon like to call – the social heights.  He was a warlock, plain and simple, he was a warlock when you could get killed just for practicing your art or having people find out what you truly were.  He passed himself off as a scribe and businessman and apparently did rather well with it.  I suspect there was more black magic in the money he accumulated in his lifetime than my Father would like to admit. He was quite the old hell raiser and I’m sure that I am not the only one to have a bastard child running around, he had quite a few mistresses at his funeral. As far as I know, no one ever knew what he was, maybe my Grandmother did, however, that didn’t keep her from pumping out six children – my Father being the only surviving male.

I digress, what got me kicked out was that I got caught, plain and simple, doing a summoning .  Summoning my imp.  of all things, he and I needed to have a face to face talk about his constant jabbering and complaints in my head.  He was making me very distracted.

I had been sent off to the Academy to become a mage. Okay, that’s magic, I can deal with that.  I tried very hard to follow along and do all of the things that my instructors were telling me to do and I was doing them quite well. It was all the “good” magic that people can accept.  Well, I was fine until I started doing some reading and experimenting on my own – there are books in the library that talk about the magic that a warlock, those damned for life, evil people can do and I read them.  The more I read, the more I wanted to try them out and moved even further from the Light of the Sunwell – I was very intrigued by the demonic things that I read about and got sucked in further and further.

I suppose I would have been fine if I hadn’t gone snooping in the family home and found some of my Grandfather’s old books in the attic.  I’m surprised that they weren’t burned years ago instead of hidden away in a trunk.  I mean,  the man had some books in that trunk and I don’t think that he put them there. I honestly don’t see the harm though because with the books and his journals I have been able to learn quite a bit. Sure, I have met a few other closet warlocks there in Silvermoon and was able to glean some more knowledge from them.

I don’t think that I am an evil person, I truly don’t.  I just happen to look at things a bit differently than some of the more “normal” folks.  When I was busy trying to be a mage, I was very good at that too, odd thing is that it felt awkward to me and wasn’t as fulfilling as it is when I would start dealing with runes and the nether.  It’s amazing what you can find in the nether and I think that if people were to try it, they might find themselves a bit more enlightened.

Sure, Warlocks are still not a part of the acceptable society, however, there are more of us living in and around Silvermoon than what the general populace would like to know about or admit.  I’m definitely on the road and trying to do my best to survive and survive I will. At least I won’t be hindered by so-called family and friends.  One would act like a person grows horns , some do,  we don’t eat babies or anything of that nature, can’t imagine they’d taste that good anyway.  We’re just different from your mages waltzing around in their robes – people just can’t seem to comprehend that we’re not out to destroy the world or anything of that nature.

Oh well, enough chattering from me.  I am happy that my Father at least gave me some money and told me that he understood .  Looking  back on the brief conversation, it makes me wonder if he is one of those closeted warlocks himself, little things that he says and does kind of make sense to me now. I know that he has been beaten down by my Mother with her constant verbal assaults and I really didn’t respect him all that much because of it.  Now, I’m wondering if he isn’t just taking shelter behind a shield of cowardice, who knows.

One thing that I will always caution another warlock about is that they should dismiss their creatures when they are approaching places that are inhabited by others, it’s just a good practice and will keep you from being locked up in a jail somewhere or even possibly killed.  I think there is an unwritten list that along with the Scourge, warlocks are on the list too.  The often abused and  misunderstood warlocks and feared by the uneducated.  Ah well, such is life.

I will make my living in this world and one day I will go back to Silvermoon and take my place back with my family. I will mend what bridges that I can and lie through my teeth to let them know that I have changed. I won’t go back until I am wealthy enough to where it won’t matter.

Solerin Dawnshadow