*Some Language – if you are offended easily, please do not read*
I will have to admit that I haven’t written in this damned thing in a while and that’s because I have been busy with my duties in Draenor and trying to figure out a way to get home to see Romy and the kids in Halfhill. Well, the Legion kind of helped that out because the Horde leadership has decided that it’s military needs to address that situation rather than maintain a peacekeeping force in Draenor – huzzah!!
I know that it has been close to a year since I have been home and it has cost me dearly. Fnor kept telling people that we needed to be focused on what was happening in our own timeline and his warnings just kept falling on deaf ears. Damned bureaucrats – now they have their hands full and we are supposed to clean it up.
All I can say is that Draenor has cost me dearly – I’ve lost my family or they are hiding from everyone, I don’t know what is going on. Romy had written me that she was taking the kids to Northrend to spend some time with the family up there and that’s the last I heard from her. I have checked with her family and have even gone to Northrend – no one has fucking seen them. How can a woman and two small kids disappear off the face of the planet without anyone having ever seen them? To say that this is a nightmare is putting it lightly – I’m scared, I’m angry and I’m heartbroken. All my hopes and dreams have been trashed and here I am wandering around trying to put all the pieces together again.
I tried drinking myself into oblivion more than once since I got back to Halfhill and there didn’t seem to be enough booze to drown my heartache. I couldn’t get drunk enough to stop thinking about my family, my love, my life and my children. What has fucking happened to them? Are they safe? Are they even alive? This is totally unlike Romy as far as I know and I know that she loved me as much as I love her – where did she go? Did she try to take the kids and make the trip to Draenor to surprise me? So many fucking questions and no answers from anyone.
Fnor and I both have sent out search parties from the company and we’re paying the people dearly to see if they can find any trace of them. I’ve cried until I have no more tears and have gone without sleep to the point that there are days that I have lost wandering around in a fog. Where are they? My son was born while I was in Draenor and I haven’t even held him or seen him – why did this have to happen? All of my life I have wanted a family – now the Fates have taken away from me. No, I won’t give up and I’ll keep looking for them.
It has been quite some time since I have made the time to write things down, however, since the transition to Draenor and all of the responsibilities that seem to have been thrust upon me, there just isn’t time. How was I to know that I would be put in a position where I would be in charge of an entire Garrison? I know it makes me proud and sad at the same time – I came here to serve the Alliance and to protect Azeroth from these Orcs that have fallen prey to the diabolical mind of Garrosh. Luckily, that part is pretty much over. We have been given reason to believe that the crazed fool is no longer with us, however, his influence has befouled the minds of so many that he came into contact with. We are desperately trying to clean up the mess he left behind.
I will never fully grasp how Garrosh escaped from Pandaria with all of the guards and protections that had been put into place to make sure that he remained in custody. Oh well, it’s not something that I witnessed and can only go on what I was told happened. It seems that treachery has a very long arm indeed and the price has to be paid by many.
Today I decided to run away for a while with my journal and write some of my own thoughts down without having the constant interruptions that I have to deal with at “my” Garrison – still feels funny to think that the place is supposedly mine to manage and deal with. It’s not unlike the company back in Stormwind, same personnel matters. The usual dramas that you have when you put a group of people together in a fairly confined area in a strange place.
I will admit that one of the main reasons that I came to Draenor was because I wanted to be near my Sindorei, my beloved. Oh, I know that we’re older, however, I can assure you that the passion still runs as deep as it ever did between the two of us and we have been separated too many times in the past to want to endure it any longer. Yes, our son, Kaldor, is up here as well and I will admit that sometimes I think it embarrasses him to think that his parent may still have some kind of intimate life going on after all of these years. I almost have to laugh because he has his own Sentinel to deal with and one of these days, maybe, I might be a Grandmother, if Elune wishes it.
I’m very happy that Fnor and Kal are here in Draenor, however, my heart yearns to see my other children and my parents. I don’t understand this time thing at all and it concerns me a great deal. If you could truly feel time passing, I’d say that it is at a snail’s pace in Draenor, does that mean that the time on Azeroth is the same or what? It’s all very confusing to me and I can’t fathom if there could be a difference. Of course, there are mages that will transport you back to Azeroth and the correct time for a fee, however, you still need to get permission from your commanding officers above you to take one of those trips – there are people of higher rank that you have to answer too.
I will admit that I am enjoying seeing things the way that they supposedly existed in my time-line long before I was born. I dearly love Shadowmoon Valley and Nagrand, although, the creature comforts that I have aren’t there in this time period. For those of us that have lived in Nagrand prior to coming to Draenor, it is indeed quite the shock and the vastness of the area is wonderful. It takes time to adjust to these things without getting a little bit confused from time to time with landmarks that should be there and are not.
Fnor laughs about the fact that he has to lean heavily on his map reading to find his way around in some places because his memories of our time tend to over-ride what he sees in front of him. I can well imagine that he wants to get back to our Azeroth as much as I do.
Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author
I am extremely lucky to be one of the few men that has their wife here in Draenor. I know that some of my comrades in arms would be astounded that my wife is a Kaldorei, however, it was a choice that I made quite a few years ago and have lived this double life for more years than I care to think about. It doesn’t matter, at least she is here and we’re not separated by these damned travel restrictions that the Horde leadership seems to be planning on enforcing indefinitely.
I know that I have heard that our business in Orgrimmar is booming and Zippie is already asking for more help to keep things organized there as well as in Silvermoon and Shattrath City – our Shattrath, not this facsimile here in Draenor. I don’t think that I can recall so many contracts from the Council for deserters in Azeroth before either – can’t say that I blame them all that much other than what the penalties are going to be for some of them. Poor buggers paid a small fortune to some mage to get them out of Draenor or possibly some warlock that came out of hiding long enough to have them summoned to Azeroth, at what cost of their souls, I’ve no clue. At least Zippie sends me the more serious cases before giving them out to our employees and contract workers – some of them have a lot more political connotations than I’d like for some of our people to work on. We all know what a slippery slope politics can be.
One thing that I will have to admit is that I do enjoy going to Shadowmoon Valley to visit with Amyn for several reasons. I get visit with my loving wife and I get to thaw my bones out. Why is it that the Horde feels the need to make everything for Orcs and the esthetics are left in the wind for the other races. I know that every building in my garrison is definitely drafty and gives the impression of being just stone, iron and a little mud hut thrown in for flavor. The Alliance folks are at least given places that are or seem to be more civilized in appearance than ours are. Oh well, this is the way that it has always been and I suppose will always be. I know my garrison reminds me of Northrend in the old days. Snow and ice with the wind thrown in for fun, I suppose. I never liked being out of Dalaran all that much in the old days either – I do miss my home there something terrible sometimes and I try not to dwell on all of the things that happened to change our relationships there.
Well, I thought I was going to have a quiet morning and be able to get a few personal things done here in Frostfire, however, it appears as though I have other duties that need my attention and that thwarts my relaxation. Even Pan is grumbling about it because he was getting all snuggled down in some furs and was snoring away. Ah well, off we go and I’ll try to get my thoughts written down another day.
Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author
I will have to admit that I think that I am getting too old for this kind of duty these days. Draenor has definitely left me feeling more than a little bit bitter with the way that we seem to be isolated from most of the things that we have taken for granted most of our lives. Here and now, those things are definitely out of our reach if we don’t have the “special” permission granted to a select few people. I miss the liberties that I have had in the past and the ability to take care of things other than my military service. Oh well, one can only hope that this will end sometime in the near future.
I can say that I am one of the lucky ones here because my wife is here although the circumstances are a bit odd considering that she is not a member of the Horde, however, not a whole lot of people know a lot about my private life and never have nor will in the future.
My heart truly does go out to Dawnglory, the poor man is just miserable here in Draenor and he is in the same boat as myself – we’ve been given command of garrisons that neither one of us wanted to begin with as well as having our travel restricted. Dawnglory’s woman was pregnant with their second child when he left and he is really getting concerned that the child will be born before he ever gets to go home again. At least he seems to be getting his mail from her on a regular basis, however, that’s not the same as being with someone that you love, that is one thing that I am very familiar with. I still miss my friends and family that aren’t here in Draenor and I truly miss the comforts of my home.
I know that I haven’t been the best commander in Draenor because it’s not something that I am accustomed too. I have always commanded Rangers and I know the criteria for that, however, managing and implementing things for an entire garrison has been more of a headache than even I thought it could be. I have my own business and I think that I can handle that a whole lot better than I can my garrison because I can delegate things to my employees and know that they will get the tasks done, however, with this garrison detail – I have to constantly be present and constantly checking to make sure that everything is being done correctly. It’s more of being a parent to a bunch of unruly children than it is to be leading a compliment of military people.
I can’t believe that we have been in Draenor for the better part of the year and it seems as though it is never-ending some days. I know that my higher ups are probably wondering why they aren’t getting the monthly request for leave away from my command these days, however, I don’t think that it would behoove me to rock the boat with Amyn already here in Draenor, although I would dearly love to see my children and the rest of my family that are still in Azeroth.
I thought that things were bad enough with being in command of the garrison and now they have added in a shipyard for me to attend too as well. My knowledge of things nautical is very limited and I have to think that someone made a serious mistake with dumping that responsibility in my lap. My knowledge of ships and how to do the tactical battles for them is so limited that each time I send out a ship, my heart is just pounding and I just hope the crews and ships return safely.
I know that I have been going with my patrols into the Tanaan Jungle in the last couple of months and the further we scout into the area, the more concerned that I am. There is something seriously amiss in that area and reminds me too much of the experiences that we had to deal with in Outland all those years ago. I know that the stench of Fel magic is very strong in that area and as a Blood Elf, I always feel as if I am stepping back in time when our race was ravaged with the severe addiction that almost did us in. I have to remind myself constantly that once you’re addicted, you’re always addicted and you have to be aware of the fact or you might fall into that trap again.
I don’t know how some of my people are handling the constant exposure to the magic in Tanaan because I know how it affects me. Do our commanders realize what they are doing with their troops by bringing us back into contact with such things? Demons, I don’t think that I have seen as many demons running amuck since I left Outland and it concerns me. Will these things follow us back to Azeroth when we return, are we going to have to repel another invasions of these horrid things? I think that I have valid questions and concerns and I have yet to get an answer from those people sitting on their backsides in Orgrimmar.
Oh well, enough of my grumbling and negative thoughts, I need to get up and try to get my mind going in a more positive direction. I have patrols to send out as well as doing some scouting of my own. Maybe I will take some time to do some hunting with Pan today and do some fishing – just the two of us like we used to do before we came to Draenor.
Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author
I feel as if I can’t awaken myself from a dream and that time is currently standing still for me. Oh, I can move around and go about my daily duties and do all of the things that are expected of me, however, there is no feeling of time progressing, it’s as if we’re all stuck on a treadmill and will be doing the same tasks into eternity. Rather depressing when you stop and think about it, however, that’s how I feel currently.
I know that I was absolutely delighted and thrilled that my wife had made the journey to Draenor and I knew roughly where she was and we have actually a way of staying in touch with one another with no one being the wiser. Of course, it does require a bit more danger and more travel time for me, however, just to know that she is here is enough to make my heart lighten a bit – the loneliness has been the worst I’ve ever experienced. Could be that my age is finally catching up with me or that I am finally getting to the point that I only want one particular woman in my life.
I know that my son is probably pretty happy that his Mother is here even if that means she is going to be scrutinizing his relationship endlessly and making her thoughts known as only Amyn can. Poor Kal, I know that he is playing coy and not wanting to make a full commitment with Kae just yet, however, I know that Amyn wants him to settle down as a good Kaldorei should – however, the poor kid has a lot of Sindorei blood in him, which might make that rather difficult for a while longer. I wonder how many times Kal and I both have heard Amyn say “You’re just like your Father!” when she is displeased with something that Kal has done. Ah well, Kal has proven to me that he is his own man and that he will know when he wants to do certain things in his life. I know that he has no trouble making a commitment when it comes to doing his duty, it’s his personal commitments that seem to be the ones that he is hesitant in doing – some things are for “life” and some things change. Kal is still a fairly young man and I would hate to see him make a commitment to something if he is not ready for it – Amyn and I have had some rather heated arguments about this and from our own history, she needs to realize what is involved.
I know that I have actually kind of fallen in love with the atmosphere and the appearance of Shadowmoon Valley and would like to spend more time in the area with Amyn, however, there are so many Kaldorei there that it would be rather difficult to pull that off for an extended period of time. I know that the people under my own command are always curious as to why I like to patrol Shadowmoon on my own rather than taking a company with me – I have taken a bodyguard with me occasionally, however, that has been a rarity.
I know taking the trip from the harshness of the weather presented in my Garrison to Shadowmoon Valley is definitely almost dreamlike in quality. Frostfire is always letting me know that it is Horde way of life, the in your face cold, the weather going from freezing cold to blizzard conditions in the blink of an eye – it’s reminds me too much of the time I spent in Northrend chasing the scourge down.
I wonder how much longer we will be in Draenor? I just get the feelings in my gut that we should be paying closer attention to what is going on at home because we have too many of our troops stationed here. My mind and my heart keep telling me that I should be in Azeroth and not here pushing paperwork around like some clerk.
I know that I have questioned my sanity a few times in the past, however, I think that this time I have every reason to do so. Yes, I did make the trip to Draenor and can see some of the beauty here in this savage land that my ancestors roamed in Azeroth’s past. I will never understand this Alternate Timeline thing that has been introduced to us although I am fascinated with it at the same time. I keep having to remind myself that some of these people that I am meeting here are totally unaware of their own existence in Azeroth nor the history there. I know that it can all be very confusing if I try to dwell on it for too long. I’ll just do my duty here with the Sentinels and return to Azeroth in due time.
One of my main reasons for traveling to Draenor is to protect my Azeroth and the other is to find my Sindorei husband. I know that he traveled here to uphold his oath to the Horde and was ordered here by his Regent Lord in Silvermoon, however, I can’t understand some of the reasoning behind the fact that the travel between the timelines is so restricted on the Horde. Is it a lack of skilled mages or is it a hidden thing that we have yet to find out about yet. Do some of the higher ups in the Horde think that if they give their commanders more freedom to travel back to Azeroth that those people may not return to their duty? Oh, I’m sure that it will all come to pass sometime in the near future.
I did make my way to Kaldor and Kae’s garrison and I have to admit that those two have done quite well for themselves here in Shadowmoon Valley. Of course, I can stay with them for a while but I will be staying primarily at the Sentinel encampment not far from here – there are patrols to be done as well as other duties – not to mention, I will be spending some time trying to find my Sindorei. At least I know where the majority of the Horde main garrisons are located in Frostfire Ridge and where some of the alternate garrisons are located. I am almost afraid that this is going to be one of those adventures of finding the needle in the haystack, however, I will do it because that is why I wanted to come here.
I asked Kal if he had heard anything from his Father recently and he said that he hadn’t, however, he knew that his Father was establishing himself in Draenor with quite a good reputation for doing things a bit differently than some of the other Horde Commanders. Well, I can understand the rumors of his being ruthless in some cases, however, I can understand the other rumors of his unusual kindness to some of the locals too. In all of the years of our being together and raising our children I have learned to accept the different facets of my beloved’s personality as he has learned to accept mine as well.
I think that Shadowmoon is absolutely beautiful and would enjoy being able to linger in the area as much as possible, however, I know that we are here for two reasons and that is to defeat the Iron Horde to protect not only the locals and our own in Azeroth, we’re here to make sure that Garrosh Hellscream is brought to justice once again. I know that Kal and I were discussing some of the things that he had seen and done since he’s been here and we’re both kind of nodding our heads at the fact that not only are we supposedly assisting the Draeni, we’re also trying to make sure that Horde doesn’t take advantage of the situation as they have proven to do in our previous history.
I know that the rebellion within the Horde caused enough strife in the ranks to drive many of the members away from the faction or at least put quite a bit of distance between themselves and Orgrimmar, my Sindorei is not even be an exception that part. To have let that Garrosh run rampant and to have let him almost sell out the other races of the faction for his own avarice and egotistical infatuation with the Orc superiority were the crowning blows that put the nail in the coffin of Garrosh’s reign as Warchief. I can understand the Pandaren wanting to put Hellscream on trial for his crimes against their country, however, at the same time, I wish that they hadn’t been so “fair” about it. We should have killed the beast when we had the opportunity and we wouldn’t be in the mess that we’re in currently.
I know that I have found myself having the strangest of dreams since I have been here in Shadowmoon Valley, it’s that feeling of being here and not feeling like you truly belong – it’s like you have been dropped into an area where everything is familiar and yet strange at the same time. I’ve talked to Kal about how I have been feeling since I arrived and he said that he went through the same thing for the first couple of months after his arrival and agreed that it is very disorienting to say the least. He says that I will adjust to the strange feelings in time and that I shouldn’t give it too much thought or obsess on it because there have been a few instances where the people just went completely off the deep-end or actually went totally native – I can see that happening to some people that don’t have strong personalities.
Ah well, at least I am here now and I can do my duty and still have time to try to locate my Sindorei. I so miss that husband of mine .