Haven’t Written In A While

July 1st

Dear Journal,

Here it is already a new month and things are pretty much status quo here in Darnassus.  Felley and I looked around Stormwind when we went visiting last and I think that we are going to stay in Darnassus for a good long while yet.

We found several different places to live in Stormwind; however, they were rather costly and would have taken the pack fund down to almost nothing, which is something that I refuse to do at this point.  We all know that winter is right around the corner and that the game is a little tougher to get at that point.  Not to mention, the pelts that we will need to sell in order to make it through the cold.  It’s going to be interesting this year.

I think that the pack as a whole is doing really well and the people are working together as a team.  I never realized how much of a disruption Sonshine was to the pack until after he left.  We’re a happy group and we all seem to get along rather well.

The good thing is by not taking a place to live in Stormwind, we were able to find suitable quarters for Abigayle and for Caldwic.  At least they aren’t living with us anymore all of the time.  I know that the lack of privacy was starting to make me a bit more than crazed.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed having them stay with us for a while; however, it was very cramped in there. 

I’m proud to announce that Abigayle and Caldwic have learned how to control their wolf forms a lot better.  Poor Caldwic had a terrible time with his and would slip into his Wolf without even thinking two seconds about it.  We all try to maintain our human forms when we are in cities or the towns to avoid any problems with the other humans which will arise once in a while.  There are people that still don’t understand that there are people living in those wolves that they throw stones at sometimes.

At least we’ve all made several trips to Stormwind to sell out pelts and to see the sights a few more times since I last wrote and we’re accumulating some extra money.  Naturally, anytime we go, the girls have to go shopping for a few things.  Felley has been getting a few bolts of cloth now and then to make some dresses for them, which will be nice when we are in town and they want to get dressed up a little bit.  We’ve made a few more friends in Stormwind, however, none that seem like we might want to join a pack with them or anything.

It sure does seem as though we do run into more packs all of the time these days.  There seem to be more Gilnean stranded far from home.  I keep thinking that maybe one of these days that we will be able t take our homeland back, however, that could be a long time down the road.  Of course, it won’t ever be the same place that we once lived either and we all realize that.  It’s just that even though we have been welcomed in Darnassus and Stormwind, you always feel like you don’t quite belong.

I know that sometimes when we are out in wilds hunting that our good friend Sonshine has been stalking us.  As far as I know, he hasn’t joined up with any other pack that are based out of Darnassus and that’s no wonder.  Word spread pretty quickly about his behavior in our pack and how he had treated Abigayle when they were together. 

That was indeed a sad situation and I do wish that Felley and I had known about what was really going on long before we did.  Not only was Sonshine taking all of Abigayle money that she earned, he was actually beating her on a regular basis if she didn’t have any money.  Of course, that’s where Caldwic became involve with things – he was Abigayle’s friend and he was trying to protect her from Sonshine.  He admits that it wasn’t much of a fight because he didn’t know how to control Wolf and Sonshine knew all of the right things to do to get him to turn.  Well, that’s over and done with and we shouldn’t have to deal with Sonshine McBride very often.  We just make sure that we all stay close together in the wilds and not give him a chance to attack any of us.  I don’t know what his purpose is other than to intimidate the two youngest members of the pack, however, it’s working.

I know that we have all gotten into kind of a routine with our hunting and that’s nice because that means we know what each of us is supposed to be doing on a given day and a given time.  No one seems to mind having at least one day’s rest in there in either because even though times might be hard, you need that one day where you can do whatever you want to do – or at least I do.

Of course, I still go help out the Sentinels now and again, which Felley still doesn’t know about because she would be upset that I am putting myself at risk each time I do one of these little mercenary duties.  It’s not all bad and the money is good and these Sentinels still don’t know what I look like in human form because I always “chance” upon them as the Wolf.

Well, I suppose that I should stop writing in my journal and get busy because our rest day was yesterday and I took full advantage of it.  I know that sleeping most of the day away wasn’t what some of the others had in mind, however, I was tired and that’s what I wanted to do with my free time.  Naturally, I got the tsk-tsk from Felley even if she was smiling when she did it.


Getting Away…Going To The Faire

June 7th

Dear Journal,

I know that I shouldn’t be laughing, however, I am.  Oak and I finally just told our pack that we needed some “alone” time and that we were going to the Faire.  I know that doesn’t sound very nice, however, we’re not old enough to be raising children, much less two children that have special needs – one from being abused and the other from being so new with his Curse that he sometimes has trouble maintaining control – he’s learning though.

We haven’t been alone in forever or so it seems sometimes, however, we couldn’t have these two youngsters living under the carriage in the Tree that the elves were nice enough to give to our people.  We had them move in with us and we’ve been looking for a suitable area for them to live that won’t be all that expensive.  I laughingly told Oak that we should get bunk beds in our room – I didn’t realize that he would take me literally and we got bunk beds. Silly man looked at me rather strangely when I told him I wasn’t climbing any ladders to get into bed with him.

We decided not to take the portal that you can take from Darnassus to the Faire and decided that we would take the boat – that cherry grog is one of my favorites and we both had a couple of mugs before we reached Stormwind. Oh, to be able to stand on the deck and feel the sea breeze and watch the water stream past the boat is one of my favorite things, maybe I would have married a sea captain or such, just so I could ride on the boat.

Ah, yes, Stormwind, it seems even more crowded than before and it’s not even a holiday or anything that I am aware of.  So many people in such a confined area make for some rather interesting times.  I know that we took our time going through the city and actually were able to drop off the skins that we have gathered for the contracts – we now have some extra money to put in the bank for the pack and for ourselves as well.  The Draeni at the warehouse always looks at us as if we had fleas or something whenever we come in, however, Oak always jokes with her and she starts to smile before we leave. I guess that they have even more people working for them now – free lancing people or mercenaries, I don’t know what they are called, however, I saw quite a few people standing in there or delivering goods as we were collecting our pay.   I know that Draeni really must have a field day when a group of Pandaren people come in – they are always furry and we’re aren’t. 

I know that Oak and I were very fortunate to be able to find a room in the Inn where we could leave our belongings before we changed into something a little more suitable for the Faire.  I put on my blue dress and had to laugh when Oak told me that I might want to leave off the bustle, what with the way that the canon ride shoots you out over the water and he didn’t want me to be floating around in the water with my skirts over my head – he had a good point.

I know that I am always thankful when we have some money and are able to enjoy a few pleasurable things because it was such a rarity for us when we first got together in Darnassus.  Oh, those were indeed sad times because Oak and I actually moved in with one another to save money, that’s truly a sad state of affairs.  Now, we stay together because we want too – no strings other than what we might have developed emotionally. 

I will have to admit that my living with Oak, as we are, would have shocked my Father and Mother if they were still alive.  I was one of those girls of better breeding back in Gilneas and steeped in the conventions that a good girl didn’t share her bed with a man until she had been married and even then, it was usually separate bedrooms and you made appointments with one another before you did anything. I know when I told Oak about some of the rules that we were breaking, I thought he was going to laugh until he cried.  His only comment was that he always wondered why most of the wealthy only had small families – those appointments must have had some conflicts with other things.  Now, I think nothing of the fact that we are cohabitating together and that we have no need of those “appointments” with one another.  I often wondered why my parents always seemed a bit distant and aloof with one another when I was around and I suppose that they really were following the social standards of their time.  Well, times have changed and I am thankful that I have a man in my life like Oak.

Oh, the Faire was even more fun this time than when we were there a couple of months ago.  We were having pack issues and the funds weren’t available for us to be able to take the time away from Darnassus.  This time things are settled down and we just got paid for all of our hard work.

We took in all of the sights at the Faire and ate so much of the strange food that I am surprised that we didn’t get sick, however, I do like the pickled kodo feet – they really make your mouth pucker up with that tangy dill flavor they have and the meat, although not plentiful, is very tender.  I know that every time I would eat one, Oak would wrinkle his nose in disgust while he was eating some other food – that man has a real sweet tooth sometimes.

Oh, he was right about the bustle being a bother with the canon ride.  I swear Oak spent more time trying to get my skirt off my head than he was in helping me out of the water.  I had on a petticoat, however, that was also wrapped around my head – which meant that there must have been a few people that caught a glimpse of my pantaloons.  We both ended up laughing so hard that we fell in the sand, which meant that we would have to slip away from the crowd and try to get some of the sand off of our bodies, which we managed to do, however, there is a cave over there that I don’t think we’ll stumble into again with a giant rabbit in it.

We did get back to Stormwind rather late last night and the streets were still all bustling with people coming and going.  We are still planning on trying to find a place to stay here in Stormwind eventually; however, we may wait a while to see if some of these people don’t leave. We were planning on taking some time to look around at the vacancies here in town today after my sleepy male wakes up. I bet the pricing is going to be horrendous; however, it won’t hurt to look anyway.

I hope we have time to go to Ironforge again; the place just amazes me with it being inside of the mountain like it is.  What with the Great Forge going all f the time, the place is never cold.  I don’t think that the dwarves would mind if a bunch of people from Gilneas came to stay up there for a while.  Maybe we could even take the time to look around outside to see how the hunting would be for us too.  Never hurts to have several avenues available to you when you’re thinking about changing your location.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I love Darnassus and all of the people in there, however, a lot of the other people from Gilneas are of the old school and if they realized my family connection, I would be frowned upon most highly.  Here I am a woman of good breeding living with a tradesman.  Oh well, at least in Stormwind I would imagine that the social boundaries are a bit more flexible.  I do miss the social gatherings that we used to have at home and I would think that some of the events would be more readily had here.

I hear moaning coming from the bed and that mean that Oak is realizing that he shouldn’t have had those last two drinks last night.  Time for me to finish up here and get dressed so that we can go out and find some breakfast before we start looking at houses. 



In The Beginning…This Is How It Will Be

May 17th

Dear Journal,

Miss Felicity gave me this book and told me that I should write my thoughts down in it and keep track of things.  I suppose that it helps you somewhat figure out what has happened to you since the Curse, is it a Curse or is it a blessing in some ways. I guess that it would help if I could track the involuntary changes that I still have a problem with, maybe I’m not strong enough in character because it does seem to happen at the most inopportune times.

My name is Darren Caldwic, I’m approximately 21 years old. Yes, yes, I look a lot younger, however, I suppose that I will find that a blessing when I’m older but not right now.  People tend to treat me as young man, not a boy, just a very young man.

I grew up in Duskhaven, an only child born to an older couple that were probably very surprised at my creation considering their ages.  I grew up living a very sheltered life because my Mother was always afraid that I would get hurt or something.  I spent a lot of my time reading and a lot of time with my studies.  My Father didn’t want me to become too much of a Mother’s boy and decided to take me hunting and teach me the way of the forest, which I find rather ironic because he was a blacksmith and my Mother a seamstress.  We were town people, we didn’t wander too far out into the wilds very often. 

I’ll admit that I wasn’t a great hunter, a passable one at best, however, I always put on the front with my Father that I truly enjoyed it.  I hated killing animals and really had no desire to try to skin them, they were living beings moments before my arrow took their lives.  Well, to be honest, I was too awkward skinning and I am sure that it would have taken me days to get one animal skinned which truly irritated my Father.

I know that the one thing that I enjoyed the most about the forest were the different plants, trees and other things, not just the animals.  I actually started recording the plants that I had gathered, drew pictures of them, in color and started keeping a record of the different plants that I had seen.  It was something that I really enjoyed and it brought a certain amount of joy to me.

My schooling was at home until I reached a point to where my Mother could no longer teach me anything and it was off to school with the other children.  I can assure you that I had my fair share of bloody noses and having my lunches taken from me by the older and larger children.  However, I learned quickly how to take care of myself thanks to the lessons my Father gave me behind his shop. Oh there were many tears shed on my part because I didn’t like to fight.

Where my real forte in my life as a child was my love of learning and artwork.  Not a manly thing that could be paraded around in front of one’s parents friends, however, I was pretty well satisfied that the majority of the people considered me a bit odd and rather bookish.

Nothing would do that I start to mingle with some of the young people of my age group, my parents insisted that I needed to do that even though I always felt a bit awkward when I would attend some of the parties. Oh yes, I discovered girls and that made life even more complicated.  I even had a girlfriend of a sort, she was nice and we did all the things that young people are expected to do.  I found that I was quite good at dancing and later I discovered that I was one of the favorite dance partners at these gatherings.  Of course, that left me open for more bullying from the more manly fellows.

What it all boils down to is that I finished my schooling, my grades were at such a level that I went on to higher learning and became a school teacher myself. Oh how I loved teaching, I enjoyed the children and like to see their faces light up when they would learn something new. I used to take some of them on field trips and we would gather plants, talk about the different animals that lived in the forest as well as try to talk about some of the books that they had read outside of school.  It was fun, it was a happy time for me. 

I had a happy life in my opinion and was very comfortable with it.  I was very happy living in Gilneas behind that wall, it gave us all a shelter from the rest of the world and we all knew what was expected of us – we were happy or most of us were. Of course, things changed.  Not only were my parents getting to be rather elderly and needed my help and financial support, they also needed to know that I wouldn’t leave them behind in their old age.  Part of me wishes that I had because they might have survived longer.

I think we were all ill-prepared for the onslaught of Lady Sylvannas and her Forsaken abominations when they descended on our fair land.  I know that we were not prepared for the plagues that they created and we were not prepared for the Curse.

I was living in a fool’s paradise, living my life as if nothing were happening around me, going to school and teaching the children, however, those field trips were a thing of the past with the onslaught getting closer to our city.  Eventually, the children stopped coming to school, their parents were trying to escape the troubles that were being visited upon us.

Worgen!  I will never forget my first sight of the beasts for as long as I live.  With the school being located on the edge of town, I was sitting there grading some papers and happened to glance out the window when I saw my first group of them.  They were indeed creatures of nightmare proportions, beasts that were even fierce as they started coming out of the forest.  I tried to escape and return to my home where my parents were.

On my way back to town, at a very fast pace, I might add, I heard a cry for help.  As I look back on it, I should have ignored that cry and kept on my way home.  I found the poor fellow crying out for help and was doing my best to bandage his wounds and help him back to town. We were attacked by worgen and I was bitten – the rest is history. The poor fellow that was wounded was wrested from my grasp and I’m sure that his survival met a sad end.

When I made my way to my parents house, I knew there was something wrong.  The front door had been ripped from its hinges and the inside of the house was a tumultuous wreck.  The blood was everywhere and I found my parents’ bodies in the parlor where it appeared that they had tried to escape – my Father’s rifle lay on the floor, broken.  I didn’t even have time to mourn the loss of them because the worgen were still in the house – I ran.

I won’t go into all of the gory details of what transpired during my last few days in Gilneas.  It will forever be imprinted on my mind.

Luckily, the Night Elves offered us succor and an escape from our homeland. Oh, I’m still mourning the loss of my loved ones as I mourn my loss for my own humanity.  I’ve reconciled myself to the fact that there is no cure from the Curse and I’m learning how to cope with what the Light has bestowed upon me.

I met a young woman in Darnassus that was of the same ilk as myself.  Her name is Abigayle Anderson and she is a very gentle and kind person.  How she ever got involved with someone like her boyfriend is beyond me.  He was a complete polar opposite of her.  He was a drunken lout that liked to hit women.

I will admit that I was at a loss physically when I tried to rescue Abby from one of his beatings and that’s when I discovered the power and the true exhilaration of the Wolf.  I had changed several times before under moments of duress and stress, however, I had never had it happen like this before.  Oh yes, he was much more experienced with this fighting and I’ll admit that I did slink off in defeat, however, the altercation got enough attention from those living in the area that he was driven off.

That’s how I came to meet Miss Felicity and her mate, I suppose, Abner Oakelsey.  I guess Oak, as he likes to be called is an Alpha and has formed his own little pack which this other fellow and Abby were members.  I guess there had been trouble with the pack and the drunk driven away from there as well. Of course, Abby was the main reason that I was accepted into the pack and they seemed to be impressed that I was an inscriptionist.  Miss Felicity was a lady back in Gilneas and is very well educated – at least we have that in common.

I really don’t have many people that I have been able to talk with and haven’t formed any kind of bonds with anyone since my arrival in Darnassus.  I will give this pack life a try.  At least, maybe, they can teach me how to control what I’ve become.  Abby is very happy to be away from her old boyfriend and is staying with Oak and Miss Felicity. 

One thing that I do know is that I will learn to accept this new Fate that the Light has bestowed upon me or I will be destroyed eventually.  At least now I can leave the confines of Darnassus and start exploring this new world.  I’m looking forward to it, I ‘m looking forward to getting back to the things that I enjoy. Unfortunately, I don’t see any children here in the city although there are several women that appear to be with child which means they have no need for a school teacher at this point. I will have to rely solely on my abilities as an herbalist and inscriptionist to make my way – oh yes, I can go out and hunt although that really isn’t where my true talents lie.

Miss Felicity was correct in the assumption that writing all the things down does seem to ease the pain a bit.  Never thought much about keeping a journal as being therapeutic, however, I do feel better now.  At least I have something in mind, goals, things that I can plan on doing for my future and not just sitting here under the trees wondering about what might happen next.






Just Adventuring in Kalimdor…

May 16th

Dear Journal,

Well, I knew that it was bound to happen after some of the things that happened between myself and Sonshine.   The alpha males had to finally have it out and it cost the pack a member in the end.  No, it wasn’t one of those “to-the-death” kind of battles, however, when all was said and done, Sonshine just packed up his kit and left.

Felley and I both thought that Abigail would leave with him but she didn’t.  She said that she didn’t want to go because Sonshine was drinking a lot and he hit her.  That just astounded Felley to no end.  For a man to strike a woman at any time is inexcusable to the both of us.  However, I knew Sonshine had a wild streak and I had seen the meanness of his character show up long before the Curse and our leaving Gilneas forever. However, I hated to lose an old friend, however, I suppose that there would have been trouble eventually, maybe it’s for the best that the fight happened.

Oh, he definitely got in a few good shots and I did get some of fur ruffled more than a bit during the fight.  I’ll be paying for the fight with some sore ribs for a while, however, he lost his temper completely and that’s why he lost the fight.  He was so blinded by his own rage that he couldn’t see what was really going on.  He let the Wolf take over completely.   I know that I was just going to teach him a lesson or two for his loud-mouth and the way that he was acting all resentful when we had a good hunt and he didn’t bag the most game or the profit.

What profit?  What he didn’t realize is that I would take the skins and sell them, take what monies were owed to me as an individual while taking a percentage of that and putting it in a little fund for the pack.  Since Felley and I seem to be the parents of the group, we feel like we need to help take care of the rest of them.  It’s only right that we should do that, right?  Sure, we all have those little emergencies that come up that cost us more than what we can afford, that’s where the pack fund comes in.

From what Abigail has told Felley, I’m glad that I set some money aside like we had planned because it seems that Sonshine was taking his money and Abigail’s money and doing whatever he chose with it.  That means that Abigail is probably one hungry young lady and I noticed that she really doesn’t have a place to live on her own.  I guess she’s been living with the rest of the Worgen under the big tree in Darnassus.  I wish I had realized what was going on before now because Sonshine and I would have had this discussion a lot earlier. 

Poor little thing girl is still trying to adjust to the changes in her life and to have a drunkard hitting her is just heartbreaking.  No wonder she acted like she was afraid to say anything at all there for a while. When she first joined the pack, she would always flirt with me and tease Felley and then that stopped, now we know why. 

Felley went with her to gather up her few belongings that she had of her own and that’s when we found out where she had been staying.  Yes, there is a carriage parked under the tree and I guess that Abigail had laid claim to the space underneath it to sleep and to keep her stuff.  I’m sure she’s missing quite a few things if she left it for any length of time unattended.  Seems that she didn’t have all that much, not even enough to fill up a small satchel.  Well, I guess we’ll be sharing some room space with the girl until we can find another place for her to live on her own.  Oh, we’re still a pack, however, a man and woman do need some privacy and some distance from other people now and then.

Abigail asked Felley if she could bring a young friend along, someone new to the city.  I didn’t have any problem with it at all, anyone is welcome until they prove that they aren’t what we are looking for in the pack.  This young fellow is barely out of his teens, however, seems like he is a good herbalist and inscriptionist, which is something that we will always need.  We’ll give a try and see how things work out. You never know when you’ll need some “special papers” and Abigail seems to think highly of him.  I get that was because he was kind to her even though he got knocked on his butt by Sonshine when he saw him hanging around.

After all of the stuff with Sonshine and Abigail, I really didn’t feel like I wanted to actually spend a whole lot of time talking to anyone.  I guess that’s my human side coming out and wanting to get off and think things through.  Luckily, Felley is a very understanding woman and once she made sure that I wasn’t injured, she gave me a kiss on the cheek, a pat on the rump and told me to come home soon.   I just needed to get away.

I went over to the mainland and did some hunting and skinning since we had some contracts that called for specific kinds of leather.  If I was going off to be by myself, at least I could do something that would help us all. 

Darkshore is kind of depressing when you first lay eyes on it.  You can tell that it once was a beautiful place before Deathwing did his thing and flooded it all.  Now, the roving elementals just make it a bit dicey to get through the area before you can get in for some proper hunting. I hate seeing all of those beautiful buildings broken and you can tell that there was once a thriving community there on those shores.

I know that I spent a few hours mourning the loss of my friendship with Sonshine.  I was just remembering how things had been in Gilneas and how he and I would hunt together, yes, we would drink and chase the girls before I got married.  We had some good times, however, he was always more than a bit aggressive when he had too much to drink.  We had fights back then too, however, things are different since the Curse and we left our homeland.  We’re all struggling trying to come to some kind of compromise with our situation.  The old ways just aren’t going to work here.  Oh well, he’s gone and that’s all I can look at it now – he made the decision to leave and I didn’t beg him to stay either.  I think that I had finally reached my limit with his constant complaining about how things weren’t fair in this new land.  Hello, stupid, the real clue is that we’ve been Cursed, there is no cure and you’re going to have to adapt to how things are now.  The old life is gone for good.  My wife had always told me that Sonshine was going to be trouble some day and I’ll be blessed that she gave me that warning before I lost her.

I got more than enough leather to fill the contracts that we had on-hand and I’m sure that means that we will be making another trip to Stormwind in the next week or two to hand our stock in and collect our money.  Money will be nice to have.

I didn’t tell Felley that I ran into some Horde while I was out and I sure won’t tell her that I let the Wolf have free reign.  I can’t believe how much I enjoyed killing those Orcs and Forsaken after seeing some of the destruction that they were causing on the land.  Even closed behind our walls in Gilneas we would hear the tales of how the Horde dealt with things – we are a prime example of how they dealt with some things.  I think I took special joy in killing the Forsaken and I don’t think I left too much behind in the way of bodies that weren’t broken and scattered around.  No, I didn’t get wounded and no, I didn’t partake of any of the “meat” that might have been there, I’m not that kind of Wolf. Besides, I was helping out some Sentinels.

The funny thing is that these Sentinels wouldn’t recognize me if they saw me walking down the street some day because I stayed in wolf form the entire time that I was with them.  I actually made some extra money while I spent those couple of hours clearing out the area with them.  Of course, I could keep any loot that I might want to keep from my kills, there was no quibbling or stacking it up to be split amongst the group.  I guess this means that I’m a mercenary now, which isn’t all that bad, the pay seems to be real good.

I am just going to relax in Darnassus today though.  I’m tired.  What started out to be a trip on my own that only lasted a couple of days and nights just to think about things really turned out to be quite an adventure and very profitable.  I think the next time that we take the pack out for a romp, we’ll wander a bit further South and see what else there is to see.

 It will be a good thing for us to start operating in a larger area anyway.  I just have a strange feeling that Sonshine isn’t quite done with us yet. If we give him a wider berth, I don’t think that he will be able to cause us much trouble either. The people here in Darnassus know who and what he is, so, I’m sure that we’ll be safe when we’re in town. I’ll have to see how this new kid works out too, he’s still pretty green with the Curse and I don’t know if he has a real control over himself yet. We can get that tested out in time.



Everyday Is An Adventure…

May 5th

Dear Journal,

Well, I’ve been romping around Stormwind for a while and I think that I’ll stay here to live for a bit.  It’s not like I have whole lot of choices, being what I am.  When I’m in my human form, I still have a few people that are a bit standoffish with  a Death Knight, however, when I let the Wolf out, it seems like some of them forget what I am first and foremost.

Oh, I’ve made quite a bit of money in the last few weeks with my mining and was able to get a job with the smithy in the Dwarven District.  Yes, I’m just an apprentice, however, it does give me the chance to learn how to forge things properly while I still make a bit of coin in the process.  I get some odd looks every now and again because I usually stay in human form while I’m at the forge and I guess there aren’t that many woman doing that kind of work in the city.  One of these days I’ll be a real expert at it and get to enjoy the looks from my very satisfied customers.

I’ve met a few more people from Gilneas since I’ve been in the city and I’ve met a few more jerks too.  There is always someone that has a bigger mouth than they have common sense anywhere you live, however, there seems to have been an influx of these types of people here lately.  I suppose they will get weeded out eventually with the dueling and the “accidents” that seem to mysteriously erase some of them when they leave the confines of the city. I won’t say that I haven’t had a hand in erasing some of them myself. One must feed the needs of a Death Knight, after all.

I happened to run with a couple of different packs since I’ve last written and it is always the same story.  I think that it is my scent that gives me away and the eye color.  Of course, one Alpha male was all for putting me in my place and apparently he wasn’t the sharpest pencil in the box even if he was the strongest of the group. Things didn’t go well for him when he realized that the female he had challenged was more than just your average wolf – being a Worgen and a Death Knight does have its advantages.  I wonder why he didn’t catch my scent before he got all hot and bothered with me?  Like I said, he wasn’t the sharpest pencil. Oh well, at least the fight didn’t last to the bitter end, I penned him to the ground and did my threat and he acquiesced to his defeat.  No, I didn’t even bother to stick around after that and went on my merry way alone.  I suppose he’s still the Alpha over the pack, however, I’m sure that some of the others saw the error of his ways which means his reign might be a short one.

I’ve actually made enough money to where I could buy myself a couple of dresses so that I could go to some of the events here in town dressed as a woman instead of wearing my armor all of the time.  I may be a worgen and I may be a Death Knight but there is still a woman lingering inside here.  No, I’m not interested in romance or anything of that nature although a good friend might be an option I’d consider. I enjoy a good conversation as much as the next person and a male companion now and then, however, if things were to get physical, I’d surely disappoint them with my lack of enthusiasm.  Light! I don’t even know if I did that sort of thing before the Curse and the change – that shows you how thrilled I am at the prospect even more so now.

I even found a nice room over in Old Town to stay in for a while.  The landlady must be blind as a bat and has absolutely no sense of smell at all or she just might like getting the money more.  I’m sure that some people would notice the smell even though I have found ways to mask that, however, the one overriding scent is the smell of the Wolf when I’ve been out a few days in the field.  I suppose it doesn’t matter if she does realize what one of her boarders might be.  At least I’m paying full price for my room and I don’t have to share it with others like some are doing here for financial reasons – I suppose that’s a good thing.

I’m still learning how to control the Wolf and there have been a couple of times that I must have been having some interesting dreams because I wake up in the morning and I see paws instead of hands.  I know it’s not funny but it does cause me a few chuckles until I get myself back into my human form.  Can you imagine some poor bugger breaking into this room and finding a Wolf and not some supposedly defenseless female behind the door – or for that matter a Death Knight human woman?  I guess I’m being cynical but I do have to find some humor in that.

I will have to admit that I am starting to enjoy what I am more and more every day.  Since the constant litany of the Lich has stopped in my head and I have the ability to think for myself again, it’s actually not all bad.  I still have some flashbacks to what my life was like before the Curse and the change, however, they aren’t that disturbing if I compare the two sets of memories. Who or what I was prior to all of this, only the Light knows and I haven’t exactly gotten any feedback from that quarter. I’m learning a new kind of life and every single day is an adventure.



Thoughts About The Future

April 25th

Dear Journal,

I will have to admit that I am getting very used to waking up in Darnassus.  Just lying there in bed next to Felley is always a shock and surprise when I realize that it isn’t my wife of many years.  The feelings I have for Felley are very different from the love that I had with my wife, however, it is still a relationship that is growing and being nurtured as we get used to our new life away from Gilneas.

This morning was no different than other mornings since we’ve been together with the exception that I am getting to the point now that I have learned to accept the Curse for what it is and not keep trying to kid myself into thinking that someone is going to come up with a “cure” for it somewhere.  Oh, I’ll admit that I was one of those people that wanted to find something that would keep the wolf buried or have it driven from my body and was willing to do almost anything other than accepting it.

Since Felley and I have had our little pack together, things have changed.  I have started to enjoy my life again even if there are fleeting moments that I think about how things were in Gilneas.  I’ve finally stopped looking for my wife and my children, there is no way that they could have survived all of the horrendous things that happened. Felley is a good woman, kind hearted almost to a fault, however, when she takes on her inner beast form, there is no one more vicious out in the wild.  I know that she and I work together as a team and the pack follows.

It does seem as if we’re getting quite a few more people in our little group, however, there are a couple that concern me with the way that they will go out independently from the pack and sometimes cause trouble to come back to my doorstep.  They’re young and they hadn’t really gotten the attention that they needed from their families back in Gilneas, I suppose.  However, I don’t intend to raise them as my own children, that’s not what I am here for.  I don’t know if the two youngest males are going to be able to make the transition with the pack, they seem too headstrong and are constantly fighting with any other males they run into, with the exception of myself.  Oh, they’ve challenged and I’ve met the challenge. If we truly followed the way of the beasts, I would have driven them from the pack with their first defeat.  There can only be one Alpha male in the pack and it is my right to lead until such time that I show that I am not capable of looking out for their best interests.

We’ve been able to make quite a bit of money with our trading and with the sales that we have made to the company that we found in Stormwind, so, I hope that we will be able to leave the confines of the fair city and get on with our lives.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, I love Darnassus, the place is almost like a fairytale city with all of the architecture, however, I would be just as happy having a little house of my own somewhere away from the dreamlike city.

I was just thinking about something that Felley said the other day and we might take our little band of people and move to Stormwind.   There seems to be a much larger group of people from Gilneas there than there are here in Darnassus.  Of course, I have enjoyed the hunts that we have been able to have on the mainland, however, I know that Felley misses the social aspects of the humans.

Sonshine asked me the other day if I was going to marry Felley and I know that the idea just about floored me.  I can’t say that I have given it much thought.  It hasn’t been that long since I lost my wife and children and I think that I need time to mourn that loss. 

Besides, I’m almost afraid that Felicity might say “no” if I asked her.  She comes from a much more educated family than mine and she might think that it is beneath her to marry me.  I was a hunter and leatherworker by trade before all of this happened and she was a society lady. The idea of asking someone to marry me and them saying “no” really does put a fear in my heart that I don’t think that I have felt since I was a very young man and asked my wife to marry me.  My feelings for Felley are growing, however, I’m not sure that she feels the same way.  Yes, I’m sleeping with the woman, what man in his right mind wouldn’t if he had the opportunity? It wasn’t something that we planned on happening, it just happened.

Oh well, I need to think on that business a lot longer than just running out there and getting things started that may or may not work out.  Marriage is a pretty serious step, I’ve been down that road already and I’m not sure that I want to do that just yet, again.

I’ve checked our finances and it looks like we might be able to make that move to Stormwind in a few months.  As to how many of our pack will want to make the change with us will be up to them.  I’m sure that Sonshine and Abigail will go with us if they have the gold, if not, Felley and I should be able to loan them a few coin. I think that we will be fine visiting Stormwind more frequently and finding a place to live there will be the top priority before we do anything permanent. We may decide that Stormwind isn’t where we really want to be either.  Damn it, I wish that we could go back go Gilneas and have it be the way that it once was, however, the place is a ruin now.




The Curse Isn’t All That Bad…

April 4th

Dear Journal,

Oh, I am still shaking my head about our trip to Goldshire.  I guess that some people have no inhibitions about their conduct; however, I know that Felley was a real lady before we came to Darnassus after the Curse and I wanted to protect her sensibilities.   I think part of her was shocked by it all and part of her wanted to stay and take in the sights – well, can’t blame her there because there were indeed some sights to behold.  I wasn’t all that embarrassed with some of because I have been out in the world a bit more than Felley has been.  Oh yeah, we were sheltered in Gilneas from a lot of things that went on out in the world, however, we weren’t exactly puritanical in things either.  Some pretty kinky things could and did happen behind that wall.

I know that when we got back to Stormwind, things seemed a bit more normal, well almost normal, at least the people had their clothes on and weren’t dancing on the tables like they were in Goldshire.  I am still sitting here shaking my head and trying to get some of those tantalizing images out of my head. I’m still a man and I still have those fantasies that parade through there, just never thought I’d see them in real life all at once.

We have met quite a few nice people in Stormwind and quite a few people from Gilneas. Oh, there are quite a few that appear to want to pretend that the Curse never happened and are trying to live their lives as they did before. It’s futile to deny the Wolf – however, you can learn how to have control over it more than just denying it.  Oh, for some people to deny it and try not to enjoy the freedom that that part of your life gives you is the biggest mistake you could ever make.  I’m not denying that I didn’t go through the same thing for a long time, however, once I accepted it, got control of it – I can see that I am a much happier fellow for it.

The more that I have talked with people here in Stormwind, I am realizing that the probability of my wife and daughters showing up in the future is almost slim to nil.  That makes me sad because I always had my hope to build some of my dreams on.  Now, I will have to start putting that dream behind me and get on with my life. Maybe one of these years my heart will heal from the loss of my beloved wife, children enough to make something more permanent in this life.

I have to count myself lucky that I found a woman like Felicity that definitely came from a better background than mine has decided that she wants to stay with me.  Oh, we have our differences now and again, however, she has to learn not only her way with her Wolf but she also had to do a lot of menial tasks that she never dreamt of doing before.  She’s learning and, I think that she is actually enjoying some of it, even though she will complain that it really does spoil her hands – doesn’t affect her paws though.  There are days that I just marvel that she is with an uneducated man like me – well, I’m not uneducated.  I guess that I should say that I lack the polish and social graces that she was raised with.  That sounds much better.

Oh, we had a great time in Stormwind.  I don’t think that we have ever taken the time to explore it like we did this time.  We had planned on being at the holiday gathers for at least a couple of days, which didn’t work out all that well, however, we enjoyed those days just the same.  We did walk the streets of Stormwind like we belonged there even though we probably had the Darnassus refugee stamp on us like a lot of others do.  We just walked, talked and actually had enough money to do a bit of shopping.

Why is it that women get all strange when they get to shop?  I mean, I’ve taken Felley shopping before and she is always the same way.  They have to look at each and everything in the shop before they can decide if they want to even buy anything or not.  Me, I already know before I walk into a shop , what it is that I want and get the item, buy it and leave – I don’t feel the need to look at every single thing in the store before I make my purchase.

We went into Old Town and that was an experience of itself.   We found a watch shop that was booming with business and the proprietor was definitely one of us. Oh, I thought that Felley was going to spend the entire day in there.

They had watches, trinkets and all kinds of things that were apparently crafted by artisans that worked for the proprietor.  I know Felley kept looking at the little clockwork animals that were in the window and kept going back to this little owl time and again.  It was rather intricately made with the way that its head would swivel, eyes blinked and it would flap its wings.  Let’s just say that the owl is now on the mantle over of the fireplace in our house in Darnassus.  She didn’t ask me to buy it for her, I bought it because I knew that she liked it – she doesn’t have many nice things and this might help her know that I want her to have things like she did in her past life.  Oh, there were a few things in the shop that I wouldn’t have minded purchasing, however, I didn’t need them either and our finances aren’t limitless. My old watch is rather battered and sometimes it doesn’t keep very good time, the case is much worn and you can see the where the silver has worn away to the base metal beneath.  One of these days I’ll get a new one, however, making Felley happy was more important to me than an old watch being replaced.

I’m sure that Sonshine and Abigayle would have had a great time in Stormwind, however, this was a trip for Felley and me to enjoy by ourselves.  Since we decided to form our pack, Felley and I rarely get those moments alone that we need to have. Oh, the others don’t bother me that me because I’ve known Sonshine since he and I ware boys, however, I think that the women get a bit jealous of each other every now and again.  Abigayle is still very young and she is one that craves the attention of the people around her and Felicity is more the lady than to expect it all of the time.  I don’t think that either one of them realizes that I’ve seen the not so playful nips passed between them when we are out in the field and Abigayle tries to get too close to me.  Now, Felley doesn’t have a thing to worry about because Abigayle is more like a child to me than anything else, I’ll protect her if the need arises, however, she’s just not my type and she’s supposed to be Sonshine’s girl.  I just thank the fact that we don’t all live in the same house together, that could get awkward.  My old Grandfather used to tell me that having more than one woman in the house at the same time was just asking for trouble – I think he was very correct in that especially if you have two that are of an age that they want a home of their own.

We are planning on going back to Stormwind in the near future.  I found a place that pays top dollar for the kinds of pelts that we have been gathering and I’m going to see if they would like to work with us on that.  We’re not pitifully poor, however, I’d like to be able to feel more comfortable than I do right now.  One can only mend a pair of boots so many times before it becomes a futile act.  I wouldn’t mind having a few extra coins in my pouch next Winter Veil for gifts and such.

Now that we’re back in Darnassus and settled in after our trip, it is going to be time for us to start taking care of our business more.  Spring is definitely showing up and that means that we are going to have more game and more pelts to gather.   I can tell that the rest of the pack is starting to get a bit restless and we all need to get out of the city to let the Wolves take to the field.

I know that people would think that I have totally lost my mind or sold my soul out to whatever power there is, however, I am enjoying the freedom that I have when we can be ourselves out in the woods.  I’m sure that not everyone can accept it, however, I am taking ownership of my situation and I will make the best of it.  I do have my own rules that I follow, I stay in my human form, which isn’t all that bad to gaze upon, when we are in the cities and when we escape from the confines of the cities, I’ll go into my wolf because it makes my job so much easier and I enjoy how it feels to be that powerful.   I think that Felley feels the same way even if she doesn’t realize it.

No, I don’t consider the Curse a blessing by any means, however, I’m learning how to accept it for what it is and I will deal with the things as best I can.  Oh, I’ve met quite a few that are more feral even while they are in the human forms than is absolutely necessary. I’ve even cautioned Sonshine about his actions more than a few times.  He was always kind of wild and I think that there are times when he isn’t in full control of his other self when he starts drinking too much.

Oh well, seems that Felley is in the mood for fish tonight and has decided that it would be a good thing for me to do while she is doing some other things around the house.  So, off I go with my fishing pole in hand to get some fish.