Brianca Speaks out..Kind of

May 9th

Dear Journal,

Well, that’s how you’re supposed to start one of these things off, or that’s what Hazey does, I think.  My name is Brianca Smyth and my stupid sister, Hazey, and I live in Orgrimmar with all of the smelly Orcs, Goblins, fancy pants Blood Elves that got run out of Silvermoon and Dalaran, and lots of cows – errr, Tauren.

Nothing would do that we leave Undercity and come to Orgrimmar because that’s where there was money to be made.  Right?  Okay, we have a little house of our own which we couldn’t have had in UC, however, we had our own little corner down there in depths where we could put our coffins and nobody would try to steal them, or if they did, they usually found them occupied, which made it harder to steal that way.  Oh no, we had to come to Orgrimmar.  I was perfectly happy where I was, however, my much older sister decided that we should move to the big city.

Okay, Hazey told me to get off my boney butt and go earn some money.  That was fine, I didn’t have a problem with that, so, I decided that I’d much rather sit in Orgrimmar and fish.  I made a lot of money fishing, yes I did. No, no, no, that wasn’t good enough, I had to go out there in Durotar and chase down boars for their meat, hides and whatever else they decided to have on their little bodies.  Okay, I did that and decided that I could still get some more money if I stopped to fish now and then too. I like fishing, if the fish wiggle too much, you hit them with a rock until they stop and then you take the fish off the hook – easy as pie.

We’ve made some good money since we’ve been here, I’ll have to give her credit for that idea, however, I really didn’t see the point in buying beds, our coffins were mahogany and lined with some fancy silk.  No, Hazey thought we should try to live like the living.  Are you nuts, you addled pated fool?  We’re dead, sleeping in a bed isn’t going to change that. We got a couch, if you can call it that, one side of it was kind of broken because someone real fat sat on it and broke it before we hauled it out of the dump. Now, we have a stove, okay, I think that cooking the food adds a little bit of flavor to it sometimes although that last pie that I made…well, I had to go back home to get my jaw fixed – again.

Nothing would do for Miss Priss than we both needed some entertainment.  So, we went to the Faire.  I’ve never been to the Faire since they put it on that stupid island.  Sure, it’s bigger, it has a lot more stuff to do and the food isn’t too bad.  Oh, we had things like Stormwind Surprise, which makes me a bit windy – don’t know what’s in that but it’s delicious.  Teldrassil Tenderloin is my favorite, just not as chewy as one might think.  At least they have food down there for all kinds of people to enjoy although the Draeni Dumplings were a bit chewy for my tastes and I do have a delicate palate.

I know that I was fine with the crowds and the noise for a while, however, some of the entertainment was taken at my expense when Hazey convinced me to take that canon ride – well, that was an experience that I am not likely to repeat, no matter how much my sister will tell me how it’s new and improved – those planks on the dock hurt, I don’t care what she says about my aim being off. I’m still finding things in my body that I know I didn’t have before I took that ride – seaweed, a crab claw and someone’s glove – don’t ask.

At least now I have an excuse to go back to Undercity for a visit, I need to get my jaw re-wired from that Tonk ride thing. Oh hello, there are things running around in there that blow you up and drop bombs on you.  I should have never trusted the ride to begin with when it was been hawked by a Dwarf.  Hazey thinks that they will be able to match up legs easy enough too – I think it looks kind of strange right now with the way that it’s off at an angle.

As Hazey put it, maybe I’m not meant to be as athletic as she is and my sense of humor needs to be adjusted.  Well, it needs to be more than a little bit adjusted after all of that entertainment we got at the Faire.

She yelled at me again because I was staring at this Night Elf with one eye – I told her that I thought it was sinful that the Alliance medical people didn’t know how to replace an eye -it’s real easy, just pop the old one out and put a new one in from a fresh corpse, making sure that the eye isn’t damaged and it doesn’t matter if they match or not, at least you can see.

Oh well, now, I need to chase down some more boars, seeing as how we got a contract from that company that says they need boar meat.  Can’t these people walk out the front gates of this city and do that for themselves?  Lazy Lifers!

Brianca Smythe


Hey It’s a New Journal…

November 29th

Dear Journal,

Well, yes, I’ve decided that I can afford to buy a journal and start keeping track of things because you never know when you’re mind is going to start dropping things here and there.

I suppose that I should introduce myself to start with so that this makes a little bit of sense if someone happens to find it at some point.  My name is Hazey Smythe and I live in Under City with my sister Brianca.  We weren’t always dead, you know, we had lives once upon a time and looked like anyone else.  Now, well, I guess we’re dead although I don’t feel that way – just a bit more boney.

I guess that when the plague hit, it wiped out our entire family and we’re the only ones left that we are aware of.  No more little brothers, no more Ma and Pa, just us.  I know we’ve gone back to the farm and we didn’t see any signs of anyone else living there that hadn’t been munched on – one thing about being Forsaken, you never have to be hungry for long.

We’re still trying adjust to this new life and it’s a pain in the butt, if I had one, I’m sure that it would be hurting. One thing that I have to admit is that I do have a better looking set of boobs than I used to have, had them installed the other day, one is a tad bit smaller than the other one but you can’t expect perfection here in the labs, I suppose.

We have found ourselves a nice little corner to hold up in for a while.  No one seems to bother us and we were able to get some really decent coffins to sleep in.  I just had some new satin put in mine and picked up a not real holey wool blanket and a nice feather pillow from some fool that just happened to be asleep when I borrowed them.  Now, Bri has put some nice touches to our little place, she actually was able to sneak into Gilneas the other night and found a nice big rug to put on the floor, the stone can get a little chilly even to our boney feet.  One thing about it is that it’s real quiet – too quiet.  I suppose we do breathe because Brianca still snores sometimes and I have to smack her in the face to make her stop.  I have to be careful not to make her lose her nose though – she really got upset the last time that happened.

We really had a good time last week when the people were out running around like morons getting their feast supplies put together.  Yep, we were out there with the rest of them and eating like we had never had food in our lives.  We even got to go to places that we had never been – wish I could remember some of them, however, I took a shot in the head yesterday and it seems to have wiped out some of my more recent memories.

I know that we aren’t ones to sit around and bemoan the fact that our old lives are behind us and we have nothing left.  It gets real old real fast if you just sit on your haunches and think about it for very long.  I know that we were just thinking about the fact that we have no one to tell us what to do anymore – if we want to take a day off and just lay in our coffins reading a book or something, we can do that – well, unless we get tagged for some tasks that are unavoidable from the Lady herself.

Oh yes, we’ve heard all of the talk about this new land down south where the sun is warm, the game plentiful and there are funny looking bear people living there.  We’ve seen a couple of them here in the city and they do look like they would make for some good eating.  No, we didn’t try to bite any of the ones here, I think that wouldn’t be very hospitable on our part.  Maybe one of these days Bri and I will get a chance to get down there.  I know that all of the blood elves we’ve seen of late have been blabbing about the place and how wonderful it is except for the fact that the humidity messes up their fabulous hair.

Idiots to complain about a place because of their hair.  Oh well, we don’t have that problem, we just have to remember not to brush ours too hard because it comes out in handfuls as it is sometimes.  Same kind of things happens with the teeth too but we’ve found a way to replace those fairly easily.  I will have to admit that the Alliance must have the best dentists in the world, those people have the nicest teeth and usually a full set of them too.

I should say that Brianca and I are both freelance hunters and have tied up with a company in Dalaran, Morningstar Enterprises.  I’ve never met the big boss but our boss seems to be likeable enough for a blood elf.  All of that long blonde hair is kind of annoying but I suppose if I still had those feelings and parts, he’d be a real turn-on.   We just go out and get the skins that he needs and he pays us handsomely and on-time for them – that way we have some money in our purses rather than just the moths that I see some people carrying around.

Anyway, the pay is good and that’s why we’re looking around trying to find a little house for the two of us, maybe a couple of cats, just to make the place seem alive.   I suppose we could act like we’re farming a bit too, just to remind ourselves that we were people once.

Oh my, I do have to write about the fact that we saw Dranei female the other day.  No, we didn’t kill her because she was just trotting down the road.  Now, you can say what you want about the Forsaken but those Dranei are built wrong.  Their legs look like they were taken from some other species and put on wrong – they just look they bend wrong or something.  I know Bri and I just stood there with our jaws hanging open when the girl ran by.  She had a tail too, a really big tail that looked like she could use it for a weapon – I bet they do.

Oh well, it’s time for us to roll out of our coffins and get busy or we won’t be able to buy that farm in the near future.  Hope no glue-gloved idiot steals our stuff while we’re out, we’d be real upset if our coffins were gone.

Hazey Smythe