Making Future Plans…Maybe Dalaran


January 10th

Dear Journal,

Well , I am indeed very happy to be back in Stormwind City after the Winter Veil in Shattrath and Nagrand.  As much as I love my family, it is sometimes very hard to hold my tongue when my Father’s sisters are there and they continuously are taking verbal shots at one another and the youngest one is one that I’d love to morph into something that didn’t speak.

She has a mouth on her and she’s not the brightest person that I have ever met, that is a fact.  Stupid, selfish and just plain mean spirited.  I know that it was all that I could do not to just zap her with an arcane blast or something.  I suppose this is what my Mother meant when she said that the Sindorei have a different way of looking at things, however, she acts like she is doing my Mother a favor just by her showing up and letting us all worship her presence.  I know I really had to watch myself because everything about the girl just rubs me the wrong way, no respect for my Father, no respect for anyone or anything that stands in her way or disagrees with her.  She’s just plain rude, if you ask me.  Well, no one asked me but that’s my opinion.

Yes, the weather is letting itself be known here in Stormwind, it’s windy, there are snowflakes in the air sometimes and the wind just seems to tear through every stitch of clothing that you have on and chills you right to the bone.  I know that I am not a winter person at all and it is becoming more noticeable to me.

I wish that my Dad had been able to come home from Draenor for the holiday because I know that my Mother would have enjoyed everything a lot more than she did, I’m sure.  Oh, she enjoyed having the family at the house in Nagrand even if Kal and Dad weren’t there – there was a way that she would look around sigh sometimes that really made me feel bad for her.  At least the grandparents were there and my youngest sibs, I still want to sheep them every now and again, however, I’m old enough now that I don’t think that it would be appreciated.

My studies are kind of bogging down here in Stormwind and I would like to be able to continue on with them in Dalaran, however, I don’t know that my parents would go along with that all too well.  I don’t think that everyone up there would remember the Morningstar name nor the Shadowmoon – they might remember my Dad in some ways though because he was never one to hide anything that he was doing and he was very proud of his Kaldorei wife.    Some might remember the name of the company though and it’s a good thing that I don’t use Morningstar for my surname, good ol’ Kaldorei custom saves the day again.  Anyway, I am doing some checking on what it would take for me to make the move to Dalaran and how much it would cost if I didn’t have a mentor in place.  I might have to take an internship if it is too expensive and my parents won’t agree to it.

I talked with quite a few other mages that were in Shattrath this year and they are all studying in Dalaran, well, not the Horde mages, just Alliance.  It sounds like it would be rather easy to get my foot in the door if I knew the right people.  I did talk to a couple of the instructors  in Shattrath that were on holiday and they told me that to advance my studies in the Arcane, I would definitely have to spend some time in Dalaran as an apprentice to one of the instructors there.  I got a couple of names to contact and I might sit down and write them this week, giving my qualifications and the names of my current instructors so that they know that I am a serious student and not just a social butterfly or something.

One of the things that I did notice was the library in Shattrath is pretty extensive and I found several volumes that I had never seen before and was able to sit down and read them there without anyone being  aware of my presence.

I don’t know exactly how Kal deals with his eyes being flecked with as much green as they have because it is a dead giveaway for our heritage, however, I have been using a glamour more often as not.  One of the things that I am aware of is that as I have gotten older, my eyes are showing more green, which can let people know right away that you’re a half-breed.  I will admit that the bias that was there is not as bad as it used to be in some places, it still exists.    One of the issues that I may have in getting to further my studies in Dalaran is my heritage.  I guess I’ll have to figure something out to hide that so even my instructors may not notice it.  This will require some further research on my part.

I suppose that I will have to broach the subject to my Mother before she leaves for Draenor to see what she thinks about it and to also ask for some financial aid.  I know that it is very expensive to live in Dalaran  and that the costs of just about everything is much higher than what I am used too.  I hope that she approves and will get my Father to approve of it as well, it would make life so much easier for me if I had their support, if not, well, I may have to start selling things off that I own and find some kind of work to pay for my studies.

Vashlan Shadowmoon

Wandering Ways…Again


August 4th

Dear Journal,

I have been spending some time in Pandaria with my Sindorei and I don’t know what it is that he thinks that he can keep the fact from me that he has been with another woman.   His whole demeanor changes and he is so attentive that it is almost suffocating.  I know that he has been faithful to our wedding vows that we took in the Sindorei fashion before we ever left Dalaran, however, I know that he has been going through some trying times on his own…we need to start being together more often in Nagrand.

I did confront him with the fact that I knew he had been with another and he tried his best to deny it and said that he was just preoccupied with the business and some of his family things.   Well, I might have believed that for a little while, however, he did mention that he had been to Dalaran, even though I had told him to avoid it because it would be too upsetting for him.  Silly man, that was just like waving a flag in front of a bull and expecting it not to charge you.

I know that his trip to Dalaran upset him very much and he was almost in tears when he described what was left of our home and how it had been degraded by the people there now.  To think that all of that time and all those years of working on the building were for naught, I can tell that it really did matter to him very much.  That house was his pride and joy and I knew that even when the boys and I were still living in Shattrath in that tiny little hovel that we had for a time.  I know that to him that the house meant that he had been successful in his own right.  He had been a Ranger and was in business for himself now and had accumulated enough wealth to where he thought that he could surpass anything that he had seen in his beloved Silvermoon.

What was a dead giveaway to me about his being unfaithful was the way that he wouldn’t meet my eyes and the way that he started blushing when I asked him how things were going in Silvermoon.  I asked him if Agatha had been able to find a housekeeper that would be suitable and agreeable to our arrangement in Nagrand.  He acted a bit startled when I asked about Agatha, so, at least I know who the woman is now because the look in his eyes told me so.

Am I hurt?  Well, yes, any woman would be hurt if she thought that her man had been with another, however, my hurt comes from the fact that we had both agreed that we would remain faithful to one another after we had taken the wedding vows.  We have been mated for years, we just formalized it to make his friends and acquaintances feel more comfortable with our arrangement.   All of the years that we have been mated in the Kaldorei fashion, he has always had his mistresses, I was one of them I suppose when he was looking for a Sindorei wife.  Yes, that did hurt especially after I had given birth to our two sons in rapid succession, which is almost unheard of with my people.  Yes, my Sindorei is definitely fertile and I was more than willing to carry his children.   I have always expected other children to crop up from some of his wandering ways, however, that hasn’t been the case as far as I know either. I know that I am both hurt and angry with him, yet, there is a part of me that understands the wants and needs of a man of  his sort, I have those same feelings from time to time, however, I have not resorted to taking comfort with another man.

The thought never entered my mind except for the time when we were separated for a very long time and I had taken a Kaldorei male to my bed, bore him two sons as well.   I was very sure at that time that my Sindorei was never coming back and I was wrong.  Did I love this other man? Oh yes I did, sometimes I often wondered what might have happened if he had lived a long life instead of having it cut short in a hunting accident in Nagrand. Was I ever formally mated to this other man?  No, we never took vows, however, we were as committed to one another as any mated pair could be.   My Sindorei did come back to Shattrath long before my youngest children’s Father died and it was rather strange how the two of them became friends.  Naturally, there were the usual recriminations from my Sindorei about my being unfaithful and all I had to do was to remind him of his own indiscretions with his Sindorei women.

Oh yes, Elune knows what a turbulent life the two of us have led and she also knows how much we both love our children.  We have stayed together all of these years because of the love we shared for one another and because of our children as well.

Now, I am wondering if I should just tell him that I know that he has been unfaithful and all of his trying to hide the fact and denying it when I confronted him are not going work?  Should I just tell him that I know what he has done and I even know whom the woman is that he did it with?

Am I angry?  Yes, to a certain level I am very angry, however, the anger does not surpass the initial hurt from this straying.  Why would I think that one ceremony would bear more weight with his conduct than what our vows were previously?  I guess in my mind, it would make him realize that I was equal to these other women that he found so alluring and that I was very much the woman that he loved.  I know that this thing with Agatha is a physical thing for the most part.  Will I ask him to fire her from her position that she has held all of these years?  No, I don’t think that I will because if she is still in the picture after all of this time that they have been together as housekeeper and employer, I will at least know where he has strayed.

Oh why does he do this sort of thing to me after all of these years?  Why does he think that my Sentinel heart will not break as easily as another’s heart?  I am a Sentinel first, however, the woman in me is still very much there and very much feels the pain of these missteps of his.  No, I won’t leave him, however, I will have one those discussions with him that he always dreads, the ones where I let my temper free and tell him exactly what kind of animal I think he is when he does this sort of thing.  How can he even pretend to rear our children and setting up standards for them to follow when he doesn’t follow them himself.  At least I follow the goals that I have set up for myself and I have been more than a little patient with my man.  That’s the problem, he will always be my man, there could never be another that could take his place in my heart and I am mature enough to know this.  He is still my love, my life and my all – even if he is a Sindorei that can’t seem to keep his lust under control.

Amyn

 

My Life and Times – Agatha’s Journal Part V


May 28th

Dear Journal,

I honestly don’t understand how the poor man can keep coping with things when I know that his heart is breaking with his sister’s latest escapade.  At least we think we know where she is now, which is in Pandaria, the one place that she doesn’t really need to be, however, we all know that she will just be causing problems.

I’ve watched all of the changes in the household since Miss Faendra left, not only this house but the one that her brother gave her to live on her own.  Apparently it wasn’t to her liking and she made this quite clear not only to me but to any of my maids and housekeeper-in-training that were put there to assist her. Fae is and can be a very cruel and self-centered young girl and she has finally done the worst thing that she could have done to her brother.

I knew about the fact that Fnor was trying to make arrangements for a marriage for his sister.  I know what his thinking was on the matter and he was in hopes that she would settle down and do the right thing.  I know that he had been negotiating with several families of lesser nobility than her last pending nuptials, however, with her disappearance that time, it definitely put the word out that she may not be quite the package for a family to take on.  What if she had married someone and took off to chase down poor Dawnglory?  Ah well, that will only be for speculation because her brother has finally washed his hands of that type of thing for her.

Zippie has been gone the better part of the month and poor Fnor is once again realizing that he just doesn’t like to attend to all of the paperwork any more now than he did when we were in Dalaran.  Poor fellow does a good job with things, managing his contracts, the employees and the warehouses in Shattrath as well as Silvermoon, however, he never has been one that liked to be indoors and tied down to a desk.  He is always in his glory when he is out in the field or, sad to say, being with the Rangers – it really is the love of his life as well as something that has kept him young all of these years.  Now he is planning on opening up a new warehouse in Pandaria to handle the goods for the employees that are in that area – some of them can’t come back to Silvermoon for whatever reasons, usually something involving the authorities.

I know that when Zippie does return, he is planning on spending some time with his wife and son in Pandaria, possibly slipping into Stormwind to see his youngest son, Vashlan.  I’ve never seen a man so devoted to his children and that is something that he and I need to discuss.

I know that I have been hiding things from him for a very long time, however, it is now time that I can no longer do that without him finding out.   When we had our affair in Dalaran, I did take some time off from my duties to go home for a few months, leaving a temporary maid in charge that could contact me if she ran into something that she couldn’t handle on her own.  I wonder what happened to her, she was very likeable and capable, however, after I returned to Dalaran, she left to take another position in Silvermoon near her family.

What I am about to write down is something that if it were to fall into the wrong hands could cause a lot of trouble for Fnor and for myself, however, it is something that I feel I need to put in this journal.

When I went home to my family near Fairbreeze Village, I went home to give birth to a child.  Yes, my child and Fnor’s.  I never told him that I was pregnant because I didn’t want him to feel that he was trapped in our relationship and we weren’t planning a future together as a couple, we were lovers. Not only did I work for the man, I was his friend and his confidant in a lot of his business and in his personal life.

None of my siblings realized that I was with child, however, my Mother knew the first time that she laid eyes on me.  Of course, she had plenty of experience with pregnancy since she had given birth to my siblings and myself.   She made all of the arrangements for me to go to a little cottage on the shore when I started to show, telling the rest of my family that I was exhausted and needed some time to rest and relax from all of my endeavors in Dalaran.  She was the one that made arrangements for a midwife to be close at hand for when the time was right.  Yes, I paid for all of this out of my own funds.

Before my Mother joined me at the cottage, she let my Father and my other siblings think that she was the one pregnant.  Of course, Dad was thrilled at the thought of adding another baby to the brood that they were already raising, however, he was probably more surprised than the rest of the family and very proud of his prowess in the bedroom.  Poor fellow never stopped to realize that Mom was a bit long in the tooth to be having a baby.

The time came, the child was born without much trouble at all, which came as a huge surprise to me.  She was the most beautiful baby that I had ever seen and the weeks that followed were filled with joy for me.  I named her Adamia because it was an old family name and because I thought it was a good choice for my poor bastard child.  Mother and I had agreed that she would pass the child off as her own and it broke my heart in so many ways when I had to take on the role of the older sister, not even letting my daughter know the truth.

Naturally, the years have passed and Adamia has taken after her parents.  She is very strong willed and adventurous, just as I am sure Fnor and I both were growing up.  What is definitely surprising is how much she looks like her Father, the long black hair is as heavy as his and she has his smile  – her eyes twinkle just the way his do when he’s enjoying himself.   She has never suspected that she wasn’t my Mother’s daughter.  I have paid for her rearing, her schooling as well as lavished gifts on her at every opportunity.  Well, now the crux of the matter is that she is now coming of age, she wants to strike out on her own and she wants to come stay with her big sister in Silvermoon.

Now, you can see my dilemma.  I am sure that her Father will recognize the family traits as well as recognize the fact that I won’t be able to hide her identity forever – my parents are getting old and my siblings are starting to suspect that Adamia is definitely more than just a favorite of mine.  I am going to have to give this some more thought, do I tell Fnor the truth or try to live with the lie a bit longer?

Agatha Fairsong

 

 

My Life and Times – Agatha’s Journal Part IV


April 10th

Dear Journal,

Finally a time that I can take for myself this morning.  As per usual, the Morningstar household is never dull and we always seem to have people from the company staying with us here to defray their individual expenses when they have traveled some distances to turn in their contracts.    I will admit that there are days that the house almost seems frantic with the number of people coming and going, however, if it pleases Mr. Morningstar, then, whom am I to complain.

We have two visitors today that I haven’t seen in quite a while.  Miss Felessa and her friend, Tylanlor Ravencrest.  They seem to be very much in love with one another and I will have to say that I am quite happy to see Felessa with someone.  She was always my favorite of the two girls even if she was a Death Knight.  She didn’t act all upset about taking on that persona of a Death Knight, however, I could tell that she got terribly lonely at times in Dalaran when some of the people there still acted as if she were some kind of monster.  Once upon a time she was engaged to mage, however, that didn’t work as planned because the fellow up and disappeared on her, poor thing.  Well, maybe there was a good reason that that happened because this new fellow seems to be more her ideal.  He looks an awful lot like her brother, which isn’t all that bad from my personal point of view.

Now, I have a moment or two where I can get back to my own story of how things were back in those glorious days of living in Dalaran.

I know that I had been working at the house in Dalaran for a little while when young Master Fnor brought home a young lady to stay for a while.  Apparently the poor little thing had been one of those runaways from an arranged marriage in Silvermoon, however, the man that was to be her intended decided to kidnap her – hence, she was yanked from all of her surroundings that she was familiar with and portaled to Dalaran.  She had no money with her, she knew no one and had no way of going home again – those were days when travel was much more difficult than it is now.

My intuition told me that this was going to be trouble for the young master, however, I kept my own counsel on the matter and let the cards fall where they may.   Oh, she was very attractive, she came from a wealthy family in Silvermoon, however, this was something that I have yet to figure out.  Why did this evil mage port her to Dalaran?  Was it just for safe keeping or was it to have his way with her or was it a means to force her into a marriage that she didn’t want, no matter the cost?

She was definitely a very well educated young woman and had lived an extremely sheltered life.  Her innocence was very refreshing to listen in on with her conversations with Fnor.   Of course, he was already a man of the world, however, very much the gentleman.  He had me set up the guest room directly across from his own so that the young lady could have some privacy of her own and have a place where she could retire to relax alone, if she so wished.

I could tell that my young Master was very smitten with the girl when he started taking time away from his company and work to spend that time with her.  I know that her family being a minor nobility in Silvermoon probably had something to do with it too.  You see, back in those days, Fnor was all about finding a way to  climb the social ladders of Silvermoon as well as starting a family of his own with a Sindorei wife.  If she had title and money – so be it, that was even better.  Well, I think that things were moving rather quickly when I discovered that not only had our young fellow taken the girl’s virginity, he had asked her to marry him.

There were many nights that their lovemaking seemed to echo throughout the house and I would take leave of the place not only because of the fact that part of me was being tortured with the thoughts that might have been for me. It wasn’t before long that the poor girl ended up with child and I could tell that the young master was indeed pleased with the news.

So, a wedding was planned, however, it never happened.  Apparently, the young lady was an adventurer on her own and she would leave Dalaran to explore the places that she had never been allowed to go when she was living with her family.  Apparently, this young lady also seemed to have a flair for drawing trouble to herself with any true malice intended – she was just very naive in the ways of the world.

She apparently decided to go to Silvermoon to do some exploring and possibly see someone there, however, much to our dismay, she was kidnapped and sold into bondage slavery by a group of trolls.  Nasty things happened to her, I suppose, she was never the same after that.  Young Master Fnor was like a knight in shining armor and went to her rescue getting some wounds of his own to show for it.  He brought her back to Dalaran and she locked herself away in her room.

Poor Fnor tried everything that he knew to coax her out of that room.  Gifts, plans for trips, plans for their wedding, however, the young girl would not budge from her room.  I even tried talking with her a few times to find out what happened and to remind her that she was carrying a baby and staying locked away like this was not good for either one of them.  I could tell that the poor little thing had become more than a little mentally unbalanced and I truly feared for her and the child and said as much to Fnor.

Before anything could be done for the poor thing, she committed suicide.  It almost killed Fnor – not only had he lost a woman that he loved, he had lost a child to complicate his grief even more.   I watched a very cocky, self-confident young man start spiraling down into a very deep depression through the use of alcohol and drugs.  I was watching a man that I both loved and respected slowly dying before my eyes.

I gave the poor man what comfort that I could, made sure that he had enough to eat and would even coax him to take care of his physical needs, bathing and the like while he was almost oblivious to the things around him.   One night, as it was bound to happen, he became quite ill and I suppose it was either dreams or a drug-induced hallucination, he grabbed me as I came through the doorway to check on him in his bedroom before I retired.  I won’t call it rape exactly, however, it was something that I wasn’t quite ready for,  however, I did allow it to continue after the initial shock.

I suppose that I shouldn’t put this down on paper, however, it helps me to accept what has happened as well as seeing things for what they were back then.  I had a wild affair with my employer – it went on for the better part of two years, we often slept together.  There was no mention of love and there was no mention of marriage, however, my heart was completely stolen by this very handsome and wealthy young Sindorei.   We are not only friends, we are still lovers from time to time in this present day although I will have to admit that it hasn’t happened since his marriage to his mistress.  I do still long for his touch and long for those intimate nights we have spent together, however, if this is what is left for me, I’ll take it.  There have been no other men in my life and I didn’t mind sharing him with the others nor his mistress, however, there are other circumstances that I need to address in regard to his matter sometime in the not so distant future.

Agatha Fairsong

My Life and Times – Part III


March 18

Dear Journal,

Well, I have finally found some time to sit down, take a few sips of tea and relax for a little while.  My staff is busy getting their daily tasks done while I sit here and think about opening another house for full-time living here in Silvermoon.  I do believe that our little red-haired tyrant is going to be moved over there to keep her from upsetting everyone here at the main house.  I have several candidates on staff here that will make god housekeepers for her and won’t be swayed by her devious little mind.  I never thought that this child would grow up to be such a person as she has, I know that it has caused my employer more grief and anxiety than he should have ever allowed it to be.

All of us have this one fault or most of us do that haven’t grown so cynical that we despoil our own happiness before it has a chance to blossom.  Poor Fnor is no different than anyone else, he’s a man that has his pride, his humility as well as his great love of family that will often disappoint him, although, the parties involved are never chastised for being themselves.   Faendra is a product of a doting brother and one that cares very deeply for – she’s never wanted for anything in her life even though I know that when she was young, her brother would go hungry just to make sure she had that dress to wear to the next party.  Yes, he said he was trying to make up for the loss of their parents, however, I think that he did too much for the girl and unfortunately, the monster was created out of sheer love.

Ah yes, let’s get back to my story.  Stories from the past they must be, however, it is always good to reflect back and see where your life is going so that you may regain a clearer perspective of where it is you’re going and what your future may hold for you.

When I met young master Fnor Morningstar for the first time, he was freshly arrived in Dalaran with his newly acquired wealth from his company in Shattrath that he and his mistress had started after he had left his tenure with the Rangers for a time.  At this point, I wasn’t aware of the fact that his full involvement with his Kaldorei mistress, I didn’t even know she was Kaldorei because back in those days and probably still holds true today, fraternizing with the enemy was punishable by death.

He started off showing me around the house that was under renovation, much of the work was being done by himself because he couldn’t afford to have proper workmen come in and do it, plus, I think that he took great pleasure and pride in doing it himself.  He talked about the fact that he wanted this house to be finer than anything in Silvermoon that he had ever lived in.  The size of the place was immense and one could tell the areas that he had worked on were going to be beautiful once they were completely furnished and the work was completed.  The size of the place was enormous.

I was a little bit taken aback by what he showed me in the kitchen.  While it was nice, it was lacking quite a few things.  He had been using his camping gear for cooking on the stove and the oven hadn’t been cleaned in years, from the looks of it. He told me that he wanted a housekeeper that would be willing to help him keep the place clean as possible and to help him decide on what it was that was needed, the house needed a woman’s touch. He also told me that he couldn’t afford to pay all that much, however, there was a room for the housekeeper to stay, so, there would be no added expenses to take away from their earnings.

He showed me the room where the employee was supposed to say and I was flabbergasted.  It wasn’t just a room, it was an entire suite.  There was a sitting area, bedroom, private bath as well as a balcony where one could take their leisure if they so desired.  To be exact, the suite was almost as big as my family’s home and little Inn outside of Silvermoon.

He also told me that he had set up accounts with all of the merchants in Dalaran to where the housekeeper could go shopping and put it on the business accounts.  I was floored, the generosity of the man was almost overwhelming.  If I needed personal articles that I didn’t have the funds for, put them on the business accounts and they would be deducted from my wages over time without interest.   Obviously, this man hadn’t heard of goblins and their financial brilliance yet.

Well, he had some applicants to see and told me to come back the next day which I did, he would have made his decision by then.  So, the next morning before the sun was even high in the sky, I was knocking on the door of the house.  He answered the door looking rather disheveled and sleepy and invited me in.  I told him that I would take the job and he burst out laughing and told me that he had made his decision when he met me, however, he didn’t want to seem too eager.

Now, that I look back on things, that was probably a smart move on his part because I could have asked for more money even though the wages were much better than the wages I was getting at the Animal, even with the tips.

I will admit that I was very smitten with my young employer.  He had all of the things that a girl could imagine in a husband.  Money, looks, kindness, education and appeared to have a lust for life on all levels that would have put most men to shame.  I think I may have fallen in love with him in Dalaran or it could have been lust rearing its ugly head.  I think that, foolishly, I felt that there might be a chance of romance with handsome ex-ranger and entrepreneur with a lowly housekeeper such as myself.

I know from the first day that he hired me, I tried everything that I could to please him and give him a home that he so desperately wanted and needed.  I think that we were both attracted to one another, however, we did keep things under control for quite some time.  Ah yes, that’s another story that  I will speak of at another time.

Agatha Fairsong

 

My Life and Times…Part II


March 5th

Dear Journal,

Now that I have the majority of my tasks completed for the morning – there will always be more, I know.  I am going to take some time to write in my journal, for my own peace of mind, to record some of the things that have happened in my life.  Why do you ask?  I want to be able to look back on things more readily when I grow too old to actually go out adventuring again.

Let’ see, where did I leave off?  Ah yes, with my family’s permission, I left the forests and our Inn behind me to seek my fortune in the world.  Yes, I knew that the training I had had as a barmaid, maid and general housekeeper would work well for me in the cities – I knew that I would find employment out there as I continued my journey.

I did try to find work for a time in Silvermoon, however, that area still feels alien to me even now.  There is a lifestyle there that goes beyond anything that I have experienced elsewhere.  So many things are socially driven by protocols as well as wealth.  Family names are meant to push you further up the social ladder.   Since I never was one to give into the social amours, I was still able to find work with a young nobleman and his family.

I spent a pleasant time with this family and enjoyed helping them with their children when the need arose.  I do think that they were a bit crazed with having baby after baby, to keep the bloodline going.  I realize that our race had been crippled very badly after the Scourge Invasion and we needed to repopulate the area, however, one thing that I did notice with the youngsters is that there wasn’t that much time given to them by their parents.  The parents were more attuned to the political things and the social gatherings than they were to growing a familial bond with their children.  I think that the majority of the young people in Silvermoon today are products of their family’s failings.

I stayed with this Silvermoon family for quite a while and the Father was actually one of the high ranking Rangers that was eventually transferred to further his career in Northrend.  Ah yes, Northrend, the cold wind blows, the snow falls and there are Scourge to kill as the Rangers went in search of their arch nemesis, Arthas.

Nothing would do for the family other than to make the transitioning to Dalaran to accompany the Father on his journey and to be nearby to offer their support.  Now, Dalaran wasn’t always the grand city that we know of now, it was through magic and those means that moved it from its earthly place in Azeroth to another – floating high above the rest of humanity.

The city was very beautiful and one couldn’t help but be enamored of its charms.  So many things going on with the various shops and everything was expensive.  Oh, just the beauty and the peace of the city was something that I had never seen outside the confines of Silvermoon City.  Well, this city was different, it was a safe haven for all races, the authorities wouldn’t allow any clashes or altercations between the factions.  You can say what you will, Dalaran was a place where one could easily forget the strife going on in the world.

Several things are of note to write down here in this journal.  While this city, Dalaran, was pristine on the surface, there were places where one could have some foul deed befall you and that would be in the Sewers beneath the elegant surface.  It was not an area where one would tread without some caution and awareness.  I would say that it is, at the very least, comparable to Murders Row in Silvermoon although it is on a much larger scale than that little place could ever hope to achieve.

Life was indeed quite pleasant in that fair city.  There was a constant influx of new people on an almost hourly basis, however, if you intended on maintaining a residence in the city, you had to have money.  Lots of money.  I know the family that I was working for had their wealth established long ago in Silvermoon, however, they chose to take one of the larger residences in Dalaran.  Of course, they did have to have room for the tutors for their children that they brought with them, some were left behind in Silvermoon to attend boarding schools.

I found myself putting in some very long hours in this household.  I was promoted to Housekeeper and had a staff of six maids and two nannies that worked with me. It was very time consuming and left little time for me to enjoy the fair city and some of the entertainments there, however, I did manage to find some time sit in the park with the nannies and the youngest two children and we would socialize with one another as well as get to know some of the visitors to the city.  It wasn’t really unpleasant, however, I always had my duties that seemed to never end.  Thankfully, I didn’t have to interact with the stableman all that often because he seemed to have an aversion to bathing on a regular basis.

Life was still good and the family seemed extremely happy with their lot in life in Dalaran.  There were many parties held and many visitors from home to keep things as close to normal as they had been in Silvermoon City.  I know that the husband and wife were very much in love and were quite thrilled with the advances that the husband was making in his chosen career path.  I guess I don’t have to mention that he was next in line to take on the family title, properties and wealth when his Father passed on the next life.   It was indeed a happy time.

As it is with all things military, there are certain dangers that go along with the career paths taken by these individuals.   One day, late in the Spring, two young rangers approached the door and knocked and asked to see the mistress of the house.  I had a sense of foreboding about letting them to see her unannounced and without an appointment, however, they were dressed in their best uniforms and they seemed to be polite.  Little did I know at the time that they were bringing notice to the family that the Father had been killed in Ice Crown.

I stayed with the family in Dalaran until all of the funeral arrangements had been made and the body was shipped to Silvermoon for proper internment in the family crypt.  I know that I was deeply saddened at his loss because he and I had become very good friends over the time that I worked for them. He had a lilting laughter and pleasant countenance that would have made any young girl fall in love with him.  No, I wasn’t that foolish, however, I did realize when he died that my feelings were more than that of a friendship.

The family moved back to Silvermoon and I was left behind in Dalaran.  I had managed to save quite a bit of my earnings and had decided that I wanted to find employment here.  I knew that I might be living a foolish dream and I knew that I only had so much money, so, I definitely had to find work immediately.

I worked as a barmaid for a time at the Filthy Animal – I can understand why the name was so fitting.  I know that it was a rough and tumble kind of place and that the clientele there were mostly transient adventurers.  The money was good there, the tips were more than I would make in a month as a housekeeper, however, this was not the lifestyle that I wanted to continue on for an indefinite period of time.

One day there was a notice posted on the boards in the Animal as well as near the park where I liked to take my respite from the smoke and noise.  It appeared as though someone was looking for a housekeeper to maintain their home in Dalaran.   Interesting, they didn’t mention the pay, however, they did mention that the house was undergoing some renovations and that the housekeeping would be minimal at first.  Didn’t mention anything about a family with children, that might be a plus, however, it did mention that the owner was a young, single, independent businessman.  It also mentioned that the person was from Silvermoon.  The name to contact was Fnor Morningstar – interesting, no title there and that would mean that he was more of the common folk and not any kind of royalty like most of them have in Silvermoon.  I decided that I would go and apply for the job.

So, that’s where my story and my life got to be interesting.

Agatha Fairsong

 

Heading Back To Shattrath…


Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

February 21st

Dear Journal,

I’ll admit that I am still sitting on my arse in Silvermoon getting a few things dealt with.  Zippie has done a great job with the warehouse and business here and seems to be anxious to get a look at the establishment in Shattrath.  Can’t say that I am disappointed that she thinks that she can handle both places for a while until business starts to build up in Shattrath again like I suspect that it will.

I am a little proud of myself this morning because I actually was able to fill two of the bounty hunting contracts from the clients in Undercity just by walking down through the Bazaar.  One fellow literally ran right into me and we talked briefly  – he told me his name and I had him covered right there.  The second one, I was sitting in the bar and  another fellow joined me for a drink and told me his name – he was nabbed that quickly too.  No muss, no fuss, no scene.  These were just petty thefts which told me that they might have been harder if the people that were involved were a little brighter.  I sent Zednick over to do the collections and to take the fellows back to Undercity to face the music.

One of the things this morning at breakfast is that I noticed is that Fae never meets my eyes.  We never make real eye contact at all.  That tells me that she is already plotting and planning stuff.  When I think about it though, she hasn’t been able to look me square in the face for quite a while. She was like this for a while when Felaran joined us in Dalaran, however, when I think back on it, she has been this way since Amyn and I got married in the Sindorei fashion.  I know that there is a good deal of resentment of my wife and even, yes, jealousy, however, it is just another thing that I have noticed since she and I have spent some time together.  I know that it almost breaks my heart to think that Amyn and Fnar may be right about her – I’m just a means to an end for her and that’s the only relationship that we have left.  She’s in it for the money and not for the love of family.  I know that my parents would be deeply saddened to see this happen because they only wanted what was best for their daughters and I suppose that Fae’s exposure to Silvermoon growing up may have put the nail in the coffin.   Oh well, I’m not going to dwell on it because I think it might be too late to even try to change her now.

She has never said she was truly sorry that I got ill after our argument the other day.  She is acting as if it never happened and is following the guidelines that I laid out for her, however, I can tell in her manner of speaking that she wants to say so much more about things regarding the business and my family.  Well, I do have Zippie keeping an eye on her in regard to the business and sometimes here at the house, however, I think that I will have a talk with Agatha about it as well, she has an eagle eye for things that are not quite right.

Speaking of Agatha, I just realized how long she has been working for me without complaint.  When I first went to Dalaran and could afford a housekeeper, she was the one that hired.  Her loyalty to me and the family have been astounding.  From what I can gather from some of the conversations that I have had with her, she has no family to speak of and she’s never married.  Her not ever being married surprises me because she would make some lucky man very happy.  I know that she is a very attractive Sindorei woman and there were rumors flying around Dalaran for quite a while about some kind of relationship that might have happened between the two of us.  To be honest, I thought about it a couple of times, however, I always follow the rule of not dipping my quill in the company ink.  She’s been loyal to me and a steadfast friend when I was at my lowest points in my life.  Let’s just say that I just gave her a sizeable increase in salary for the many years of service.

I told her about the plans of opening the house in Nagrand again and I would appreciate it if she could recommend someone to take charge down there.  Her immediate response was that she would go with the family to Nagrand if that was where we would be spending most of our time and it would be far easier for her to find a replacement for the houses here in Silvermoon. That did have some merit because it would make my life a lot easier with the transition.

Oh these last couple of nights have had my head and body filled with dreams of my Sentinel.  I am not inclined to have these wild erotic dreams, however, I think my body is telling me that it is time for me to get back into the arms of my lover. Last night was a pleasant dreams as far as dreams go and I did wake up feeling very satiated, which is surprising since I was definitely alone in bed.

Someday, in the future, possibly in my lifetime, my family will be able to come to Silvermoon with me.  A man is allowed to dream, isn’t it.  A foolish dream, however, it is one that crosses my mind frequently.  I would love to show my sons the beauty of the city since it’s recovery from the Scourge Invasion, I would like to show them where I grew up and show them the places where their Father actually studied.  You can say what you will about the Sindorei, the vanity notwithstanding, we are a very proud race and have fought hard to maintain our existence even with treachery occurring in both factions.

Well, my bags are almost packed for the trip back to Shattrath and to my love.  I am looking forward to seeing her again and to spend some more time just feeling like the old married man that I very much am.   I think Pan will be happy to escape the confines of Silvermoon too, he and Fae’s cat do not get on well even though the cat is one of his offspring.  What can I say?  Dawnglory’s cat has had several litters with Pan being the proud Father.

Fnor Morningstar

 

Memories – A Trip To Dalaran


January 20th

Dear Journal,

I know that it has been forever since I have written in my journal and that has to do with the fact that things have been extremely busy with the business and the family.  I just haven’t had the time to sit down and do anything for myself, however, I plan to change that because I have always found that writing things down is very soothing to me.

Right now, I need to be soothed.  Magdamia let me know that she had some deliveries and collections that needed to be done in Dalaran.  She knows that I usually avoid going there due to past memories and how things have changed so much in a place that I once called home.  One of the deliveries was to one of the old clients that Fnor and I had dealt with in the past and I was curious as to how things were going in the city.  They do say that curiosity killed the cat and I’ll admit that I was yearning to see the city again, even if only briefly.

When I arrived in Northrend it was cold and the wind as blustery as ever which always seems to chill you to the bone, no matter what clothing you happen to be wearing. As I was making the flight to Dalaran, I was watching the terrain below me and that’s when the memories came flooding back as if they had only happened yesterday.  Memories, both good and bad, that reminded me of how much my poor Sindorei loved this land and how much time he had built a life here without the boys and I.

We had already established ourselves in Shattrath City and my husband would be out in the field for weeks at a time gathering the skins and other things that we needed for our business.  He was always bringing back more contracts for us to  fill.  I know that we were one of the first companies that catered to both factions, Horde and Alliance.  We were also one of the most visible mixed race couples living in the city at the time.  Oh, there were scallywags and carpetbaggers from both factions there, hiding from the authorities in the Eastern Kingdoms and Kalimdor.  Times were exciting and could be very stressful trying to raise my two eldest sons in the city when my mate was so frequently gone.

Sometimes I would find myself crying from the sheer loneliness and from some of the hurtful things that some people had said in regard to my children and myself.  There were times that I longed to run away and hide from the emotional pain, however, my love for my Sindorei and our family always kept me there.  Oh, we were both so young and foolish in those days and thought that we could overcome anything that Elune or the Light might place in our way as barriers to the social norms.  Yes, they were trying times.

One of the things that didn’t help much back in those days was the fact that my Sindorei still felt that he needed to wed someone of his own race to be more socially acceptable in the eyes of the people in Silvermoon.  I don’t know why that acceptance was so important to him other than for the monetary gains it might bring and his political ambitions.  Oh, he had dreams of becoming someone of some importance back then and would do almost anything to fulfill those dreams.  I was relegated to being the mistress and the woman that bore his children, plus, running our ever expanding company in Shattrath.

I know that he wasn’t much of the Father to the boys back then and would be gone for months at a time without coming to see them.  We would sometimes meet outside the city to go over the business accounts and talk about some of the things that needed to be discussed. Oh,  I remember lying in his arms on more than one occasion while he told me about the women that he was seeing, women that were of his own race and what his marriage plans might be. There were times that my heart would ache with the thoughts of my mate being with another woman that I would ask myself why I stayed with him when it was readily apparent that his feelings were not the same as my own.  I would think of our two sons, Kaldor and Vashlan, and the answer as to why I stayed would be for our sons and the fact that I loved their Father more than life itself.

Oh, those were indeed some sad times for all of us although, at the time, we weren’t aware of how sad they really were.  My parents really didn’t approve of my liaison with my Sindorei, however, they loved their grandsons.  I think that they were very saddened when I left the Sentinels to take up this life that I had with this man in Shattrath.  Times change and people change – they know love my Sindorei almost as much as I do. I thank Elune each day for my two eldest sons and the blessings that she has bestowed upon the family.

My goodness, I definitely digressed there.  I was definitely lost in thought of those days gone by and how things have changed to the present.  Those were both happy and hurtful times and I am indeed very thankful that my Sindorei came to his senses and realized that he had already been blessed with a complete family and didn’t need to search any further.  The children love their Father very much and I think that they have a great deal of respect for him although, Vashlan is still wrestling with the thought of how this all came to pass sometimes.  I know that Kaldor has grown to understand his Father more as he has gotten older and has accepted the things that he cannot change in his life.

Anyway, I did get to Dalaran and when I first landed it was as if time had stood still and things were as they were before.  However, there were no Blood Elves at the landing, which was a reminder of what had transpired there.  When I stepped into the city, the reminders became very clear to me again.

I can’t put it into words other than to say that I could the sorrow filling me in torrents.  Gone were the laughing elves that had always stood around the landing talking and gone were some of the shops that I had frequented when Fnor and I lived in the city.  I went about my business of delivering the goods that I had brought with me and collecting the funds.  Somehow, it was hard to talk to some of these people because they were newcomers to the city themselves and didn’t remember the glory days of when it was an open city and people were friendly with everyone.  Oh, you had the diehards that were never going to forget their political affiliations, however, you could always find someone to talk with, meet new people that frequented the city.

I think that the hardest part of going back to Dalaran was seeing the house where Fnor and I lived with our children and the changes that have been made to it.  As I stood on the street and gazed at the front doors, I could see where the hand carved runes had been disfigured, I could see that the hardware hadn’t been polished or cleaned in months.  Yes, it was hard standing there and looking up to see the stained glass windows in Fnor’s office had been broken and the panes replaced with some panes that didn’t seem to fit.  Yes, the exterior of the house was almost unrecognizable.    The last time that I had visited the city, I was unable to make myself go inside, however, this time I had to do it to deliver a parcel that I had brought with me for that purpose and collect the funds that were owed.

The whole house is now broken down into various offices and it looks like the upstairs may have been turned into  barracks of some kind.  Oh, the curved stairway has had all of the carpet removed from the it and the wood was very worn and disfigured by the boots tramping up and down.  The slate floor in the foyer was broken in many places and hadn’t seen a polishing cloth in ages.

As I stood in the foyer and looked around, I could feel the tears gathering in my eyes.  The fireplace where Vashlan had decided that he was mage enough to light the fire and lit the curtains on fire instead had been defaced and the carvings were unrecognizable anymore.  I think that if Agatha could see what has become of the house that she lovingly tended  for all of the years she was in Dalaran, she would be in tears. Anything that would have been considered Sindorei by anyone had been defaced or even removed – the mantle on the fireplace was totally destroyed and the ornate carvings on the ceiling had been painted over with something that I think might not have been all paint.

Not only did the house not have the grandeur that it once had, it also looked very worn, old and dirty.   I have thought about telling Fnor about the house, however, I have decided that it is something that I will spare him.  I know that it would only hurt him to know that the house that he spent so many years remodeling and decorating had become nothing more than some kind of hovel.  I am almost thankful that he will never see the place again.  I think that only one of us needs to have the heartbreak of seeing what was once beautiful and filled with our happy family has been turned into something that none of us would recognize for what it once was.

I am very happy that we were able to remove some of the things from the house and take them to the new house in Nagrand. In time, the house in Nagrand will be as beautiful and as loved as this house once was.  It’s smaller and doesn’t have the history behind it, however, it will have a very loving family living in it that can rebuild those memories.

Yes, it is very true – you can never go home again. Things have changed, the times have changed and the people have changed that helped to build those memories.

I don’t think that my next trip to Dalaran will be as traumatic as this one has been, however, I know that I will always remember the city the way that it was before – not how it is now.  I will keep the memories alive in my heart of the joy and happiness that we once had there.

Well, I suppose it’s time for me to stop writing and head down into the warehouse.  I can hear Magdamia shouting at someone and it doesn’t sound very pleasant.  Honestly, that Draeni needs to work on her people skills something terrible and I hope she isn’t fighting with a customer that way.

 

Amyn

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Nightmare Too Real


Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

April 23rd

Dear Journal,

After spending the better part of my day yesterday in the presence of the Warchief and in the privy meeting that was held with Council, it’s a wonder I am not suffering from a major hangover. Of course, when you get summoned to those meetings, it is a command performance and you have to attend or you get on a list for not kissing Hellscream’s backside.

I know that I would have much rather spent my time back in Pandaria doing the job that I am supposed to be doing instead of dancing this political dance and listening to the drivel and intrigue that is going on behind closed doors.  Surely, if people even had a remote idea of how the madman thinks, they would have deserted the army long ago.  This is not the Horde that I knew and respected for years, this is some sad little man wanting to prove to the world that he is as good a leader as his Father and Thrall were.  No, he will never live long enough to reach those heights and I would assume that Hellscream’s Father must be turning in his grave at what his son is doing in his name.  As for Thrall, the man has changed dramatically, I would have thought that he would have interceded in this madness and removed the fool that is leading the Horde currently.  I assume that he his spending his time with his wife and child and his philosophies and his people are far from his mind.

I think that my total dislike of Hellscream started at the very beginning of his reign as Warchief with his underhanded manner in which he murdered Cairne Bloodhoof. I know that there are many people that still believe to this day that the man was well aware of the poison that was placed upon that blade, Gorehowl.  It was despicable and a dishonorable thing that was done that day not only to the Tauren as a people, it was the beginning of the end of the Horde as we once knew it.

As a civilian at that point, I attended the burial of Cairne and have never forgotten it.  The dignity shown by Baine and the manner in which the people mourned and celebrated the death of the great man has always stayed in my mind. Baine is a very young Chief, however, he had as much training with the teachings of his Father and his strong belief in the Earth Mother that he has shown great wisdom beyond his years with his leadership of his people. I have a deep abiding respect for this young Chief and his people.  There are times that I wonder why they have been aligned with Horde as much as I question why the Blood Elves are in the same boat with them.

I think with all of the discussion that was had yesterday in the Council Meeting, the rehashing of the Blood Elf involvement with the Theramore disgrace and the second abysmal thing that happened in Dalaran just had my mind in the right place for the nightmare that I was forced to endure last night while I slept.

There is no secret about my love of Dalaran and the home that I still long for in that city.  I know that a part of me feels like it has died and there was no funeral held in its honor.  Anyway, with the discussion of Jaina Proudmore and King Varian going on at great lengths and the hints that Jaina may be doing more than just holding council with the King made me almost physically ill.  Yes, the woman is definitely in a powerful position with her people and the King seems unable to control the madwoman.  A part of me can understand that her grief over the loss of life and her city of Theramore did more than just unhinge her mind, it destroyed a city and people that may have been innocent of her accusations.  We will never know what really happened because the reports that were given after the purge were a jumbled up mess and no one gave a true concise report of the actions – it was a massacre.

I had a dream about the Purge of Dalaran that was more than a little graphic last night.  It has left me shaken this morning as I sit here and try to write in my journal before attending another meeting today here in Orgrimmar.

The dream was so vivid that I could hear the screams of the civilians as they tried to escape their Fate as well as the cries of the poor dragonhawks as they were senselessly shot down from the skies as they tried desperately to respond to their masters’ calls. So much carnage and loss of life was senseless and the people had no escape.  In my dream I saw many take the plunge from the walls of the city as well as leaping from the sewer exit – they fell to their deaths rather than to be killed by the mindless butchers that were roaming the streets of that once fair city.  I saw dragonhawks set ablaze by the fiery arrows of Kirin’Tor while their riders screamed as they burned astride their mounts. I could even smell the fire and smoke wafting under my nostrils while I slept while I must have been moaning and tossing about in my sleep.

I think that the thing that shook me the worst was, in my dream, I could see my beloved Amyn trying to lead the two youngest boys to safety away from the carnage.  The look of horror and the look of desperation in her face was almost more than I could bear.  I saw Sunstriders being shot down all around her as she ran with the children, their hands clenched tightly in hers.  I even saw her leading them down into the sewers to try to escape.  I know that in my dream I was there, calling out to her that the sewers were a deathtrap and not to go there. I saw the youngest boy go down with an arrow through his small throat and as Amyn knelt to pick up his little body a man ran her through with a sword before killing the other child with a dagger.  I know that’s where the dream got real creepy because as much as I wanted to wake up, I was forced to endure what followed.

As Amyn lay there dying with her children lying next to her, a young man strode up and spat on her, calling her a Sindorei whore before he lit her clothing on fire as she lay there.  I could hear her screams and watch her body contort with what must have been the most excruciating pain she had ever endured.  I woke up, drenched in sweat with the bed clothes almost torn completely asunder and proceeded to not only weep at the memory but to empty the contents of my stomach.

Let’s just say that I am still shaking from that dream because it seemed so real, the sights, sounds and the smells of a city under siege were almost too real.  Some of this I have experienced in my own life with the siege of Silvermoon by the Scourge so many years ago.  Yes, my mind was playing horrible tricks with my memories included to enhance the nightmare.

I know that this was all a dream because I had made arrangements for the family to leave from Dalaran long before this actually occurred.  We all went to Shattrath to setup our new lives there to escape the political unrest that had become a part of the daily life in Dalaran. I just thank the Light and Elune that I had had the foresight to get my family out of there before any of this actually happened to them.

Now, I have to get dressed in my uniform and go sit in the next Council Meeting and listen to that oaf pontificate about what his goal is for the Horde.  Damn his soul to an eternity of burning fire.  I hope that I can control my emotions better when I get to the meeting and not make the error of jumping up and giving my true opinion of the Orc.  Greed is driving him as well as his undying loyalty to his own grandiose ideals of Power.  Why can’t the other attendees see this?  I can’t be the only one that has these feelings. Light help of us all if he is able to harness the powers of the Mogu to be wielded as a new weapon against the Alliance.  The man doesn’t care about his people nor does he care about this new land of Pandaria – he only cares about himself and what he wants.

Fnor Morningstar

 

Life Can Be Lonely


February 6th

Dear Journal,

I did take some time to take my parents and the boys to the Faire because they enjoyed it so much the last time.  Of course, it was a way for me to see them all and enjoy some time with them that the “war” isn’t intruding into things so much that you have no time to think of anything else.  Oh, the kids were up to their usual antics and my parents were just enjoying everything – the sights and the sounds just seem to add a bit of a spark to their lives for some reason.

Of course, the trip seemed a bit bittersweet to me because my Sindorei was not there with me. How every single thing at the Faire reminded me of him.  I would hear a laugh and whirl around in hopes that it was my love and was always sorely disappointed when it wasn’t. 

This war is different.  I can’t follow my man like I did in the past even when I would have to slip off for a few hours from the other Sentinels to have some time alone with him.  Now, he’s on an entirely different continent than I am and there is no way for me to follow him without the proper credentials and transport there.  So many legal barriers and restrictions that were never in place before and it makes me furious.  How dare these political bigots keep us apart?

I got a letter from Kal and the poor fellow seems sad and I think that I know why.  I don’t think he ever met with the girl in Stormwind and even though he hasn’t come right out and said anything about it, I think he had lost a good part of his heart to her.  First loves are the harshest things to go through when they don’t work out, which, first loves very rarely work out.  Fnor and I were lucky – we made our love work for us regardless of the hurtles we had to face.  I just wrote him back and told him to keep his faith in Elune and his life would find its way to more happiness in the future. As his Mother, there is nothing that I can do for him other than to try to comfort him by telling him that things will get better in the future although it breaks my heart to see him get hurt.  Love lost will lead to another love sometime in the future.  I hope he doesn’t take after his Father in his searching for something that he might just have right there with him.  Men are just silly that way, it seems, they can’t see the forest for the trees before they get knocked off their mounts.

I have a terrible feeling that this loneliness is just going to get worse before it gets better.  It seems like I can be surrounded by people and feel totally alone.  I don’t like this feeling at all and it’s something that has been totally alien in my life for quite a few centuries. I have to get my focus back before I head back to Mount Hyjal to face another round of assignments.  I just wish I could work my way up through the ranks faster so that I could get sent to the “real” front – to Panderia.

I  know that I have found that the areas I have been in are very similar to some of the places that I have been in the past with the exception of the fact that my Sindorei isn’t somewhere close by.   Yes, I am enjoying being amongst my beloved Sentinels and sometime it does take the ache from my heart for a while. 

At least I’m not sitting on my haunches in Shattrath and waiting for the conquering heroes to return when the time is right.  I’m taking part in life which I was bred for – yes, we’re a warrior race when it comes to the protection of the land and damn those Orcs for being so thickheaded in their greed.

Oh, I made a terrible mistake recently.  You know that old saying about you can’t ever go “home” again, back to the memories that you had of it.  I went back to Dalaran out of curiosity, nothing more.  I wish that I had never gone back. 

Our house that Fnor took so much pride in has been turned into offices and barracks. Of course, anything that was remotely Sindorei has been removed or defaced. I actually worked up the courage to walk in the foyer and I almost cried because all of the family crests and all of the symbols that were in the carved black marble of the fireplace in the main room have been crudely removed – it almost broke my heart to see all of that artesian carving mutilated like that. The carpets look like they have been trampled by a herd of kodo and there are tears in the wallpaper wherever there was anything remotely Horde on it.

I made the mistake of actually flying over the backyard so that I could see what else had happened and it made my heart sick.  The garden has been kept up to some level, the guest house has been turned into a daycare center or some kind of orphanage.  Someone had found some of my Sindorei’s old jousting armor in the stables and set it up for target practice – that beautiful armor stuffed with straw and arrows just sticking out of it – I’ll admit that I cried, up there in the sky on my mount. The beautiful gazebo and fountain that Fnor had built for me were so much rubble. 

I didn’t mind the children running and playing in the yard, that’s something that should be, however, they aren’t my children and this was our home.   That’ where my boys should be playing, not these strangers.

I did wander the streets a bit, no one would be there that might have known me in the slightest.  I peeked into some of the shops that I used to go too – most of the shopkeepers have been replaced with new ones.  I hope that some of the Sindorei shopkeepers were exempt from the carnage that was done up there.  I hope they all escaped.  With some of the skeletons that I saw below the city, it doesn’t look like some of them were afforded a decent burial.

I don’t think that I will ever tell Fnor what I’ve seen, I don’t want to see the pain in his eyes and to hear that catch in his voice when he speaks of his “home” that was taken from him by this damned war and that insane woman.   I don’t care what happened in Kalimdor, what was done in Dalaran was a worse as anything that the Horde have done if not more.  These people were trapped up there with no means of escape to be killed or imprisoned.  Yes, I know that Theramore was horrible and my heart goes out to the people that were killed there – however, this … that still doesn’t make what happened in Dalaran right.

Well, it’s time for me to hug the boys one last time and talk with my parents a little before I head back to Mount Hyjal and my duties there.  I hate saying good-bye, even if it is only for a little while – a week, maybe two at most.

Oh, my beloved Sindorei, my heart, my body and my soul ache for you.  If only time would move faster somehow and we could be together again soon. May Elune guide your steps through all dangers and bring you back unharmed.

Amyn