I Am What I Am…


*Introducing a new character to stable of characters – A Death Knight like no other that I have.*

 

December 3rd

Dear Journal,

Well, it was suggested that I start writing in a book to keep things straight in my mind even it if is just for myself.  One of my so-called friends suggested it due to the fact that he thinks that I spend too much time alone and too much time doing what comes naturally to me.  I don’t know what the issue is, however, to please my friends, I’ll give it a try.

I’m not your average Death Knight, I suppose.  I’m not angsty and I’m not angry at my lot in life or unlife.  I’m just what I am, I’m a Death Knight, a killing machine that has been left to its own devices now that I have been released from the control of the Lich King  It’s not something that even has bothered me, however , it bothers other people that I feel and act as I do.  It’s my nature now and there isn’t a whole lot that I can do about it.

I suppose that I should introduce myself although this is only supposed to be for my use anyway.  My name is Antonidas Darkmorning and I am a Sindorei Death Knight.  Some people call me Anton or Dark, depending on how they met me – if they spent any time with me, I became Anton, if I was just another Death Knight that they were associated with, I became Dark.   Sometimes I just prefer Dark overall because it suits my sunny disposition.

My memories remain intact from my mortal life as well as the memories of all of the horrendous things that I have done since my change.  I find some of the things rather disturbing when my old mind wants to look things over, however, as a Death Knight, it really doesn’t bother me.  I was doing my duty as directed by the Lich King when I went on my killing sprees and there were times that I admittedly got more than a little bit carried away when  I was giving my Rune Blade sustenance to gain more power.  I know that it sounds weird, my Rune Blade is as much to me as  a tamed beast is to a hunter – without the blade, I am crippled – a hunter can be a poor substitute sometimes if they are without their beasts.

I think that one of the things that probably chills my friends’ bones is the fact that I do enjoy killing – I seem to have found my role in life or unlife and that is killing.  I’m very good at killing and not very good at asking for forgiveness for having done it.  I don’t have any remorse for the lives that I have taken and I don’t regret that there may have been innocents killed along the way – that is the cost of a battle and it has always been the way of war.  No, I can’t sit here and say that it is something that everyone would like to know about.  Just know that a part of my nature when I was alive enjoyed killing almost as much as I do now, if not a little more.

I was a guard in Silvermoon in my past life and I think that that is where I learned how to enjoy the killing part of my personality.  If I arrested someone they rarely made it to the Magister for judgment to be passed on them, I was the judge that passed sentence on them.  The way that I figure it, I probably saved Silvermoon City and the magistrates a lot time and money when my prisoners “tried to escape” before I could get them where most of them were supposed to go.  At first it was one here and there, however, there at the last, it was pretty consistent.  I think that I cleared out the Row on more than one occasion and never had a living prisoner to turn in – they attacked me – did they?

I was raised as an orphan amongst the poor of Silvermoon City.  Yes, there was an orphanage and yes I did have a place to sleep and have food when it was available, however, the one thing that never happened was for me to get a home.

When I was young, I would have settled for any kind of family, that feeling of belonging there amongst my kind, however, it never came to pass – not for me.  I had a couple of opportunities to be adopted and those fell by the wayside rather quickly because the Matrons were not quite sure what my real heritage was and all they could offer the prospective parents was that they were gifted with my presence one night as a basket with me in it was left on the front steps.   From what I was told, it wasn’t even a good basket, it was one that could be found on any farmer’s beast of burden and the swaddling that I was wrapped in was very old, not very clean and in dire need of mending.  It was almost as if my Mother didn’t want to take the time to care for a child much less spend any money on anything that might have it different for her to feel something for the child that I was.  I suppose I might have been a month old or less when I was dropped off.  At this point, who knows or really cares?  The only thing that everyone was in agreement on was the fact that I was Sindorei, not a mixed breed, just another Sindorei git that someone didn’t want to take responsibility for.

Oh well, such is life and unlife as I have known it so far.  It’s an existence and I guess it’s better than the alternative.

Yes, I have friends and I can remember having a lover when I was still a guard In Silvermoon.  At least I can remember what it was like to be with a woman when I was alive, however, I don’t know that it’s even possible for it to happen now.  I know the mind plays tricks, however, this body has limitations which I am fully aware of.  Sure, one of these days I may regain the ability to have feelings for someone again, I’m not sure that it is all that possible.

I remember the battles that were had when the Scourge invaded our homeland and I remember the fighting that went on for what seemed to be days and I remember dying, I still have the scar on my chest from a well thrust lance. I remember, all too well, the horror of awakening in Archerus and the tortures that I endured there to break my “will” – there was no will to be broken actually, I was already a killing machine before I ever arrived there, they just perfected me.

I know that all I have to do now is to maintain my control over my true nature when I am amongst the living, however, it is always a part of me, simmering in the background to boil over at the opportune moment.  So, yes, I am a Death Knight through and through.

Enough of this writing nonsense, I need to go find out what kind of orders are going to be handed out to me today.  Hopefully, it will be more killing in Hellfire and the regions beyond.

Dark

Oh, He Will Be Mine…


November 23rd

Dear Journal,

Well, I finally got some much needed time off for good behavior – that’s truly a joke, it just amounted to some major sucking up and trying to act like I was happy with what I was doing.  I have been in Pandaria for several months and haven’t had any time off due to the fact that I have had personality conflicts with some of my peers, not really my peers, and some of the higher ups.  Who would have thought that they expected more of me because of my brother’s reputation.  I’m not my brother and I doubt that I will be stupid enough to stay in the Rangers as long as he has either.

I got to head into Halfhill and I have been just hanging around in the market place trying to find out what information I can about Dawnglory.  Yes, he does live here and he does have a woman and a baby, which I already knew, however, people aren’t really all that forthcoming with the exact location of his farm.  Somehow, thinking of my beautiful Sindorei digging in the dirt just doesn’t fit with what I know of him.  He’s too sophisticated for that sort of thing, however, being with that woman might have changed some of his ideals and his pride too.  I have the next five days off and if I have to travel down every lane and goat path, I’ll do that too because I will find him and I will talk to him and tell him what a mistake he is making with his life.

I have also heard the rumors of this new problem that has developed in the Blasted Lands and I hope that they don’t yank my unit out of Pandaria and ship us off there.  If they do try to do that, I will be resigning or buying my way out so that I can stay here in Pandaria until I make that man see reason and marry me.  I have some money of my own saved up, plus, I don’t think that my brother will hold a grudge long enough to refuse me some help if I ask for it and it concerns his best friend too.   I’m just marking my time and waiting for the right moment to talk to him.  I know he’s here and I know that he and that woman frequent the market with their brat too, so, I’ll just sit here and bide my time until I see that golden-haired man that I know so well makes his appearance.

No, I am not happy being here in the role that I had to take in order to get here.  I’m not meant for the orders and all of the rules that are put into place to make it a more military group and I’m sure not ready to settle down to having to share a tent with a whole bunch of other women.   I’m not keen on the idea that I only have a footlocker to keep my personal belongings in and it has to stay locked all of the time to keep the peasants from stealing from me.  My gowns are probably ruined from being stuffed into that trunk for so long and it is going to make me very angry if they are.  Well, maybe not too angry since I know that they are probably out of fashion now since they are last season’s styles.

If I wasn’t so determined to talk to Dawnglory, I would have gone back to Silvermoon to see some of my friends and to see if I still have access to the house that my brother gave me.  I know that I am not really welcomed at the main house because of those stupid goblins living there that my brother seems to like better than he does his own sister.  Well, that’s what happens when you’re not really blood-related, I suppose.

I have seen Felaran a couple of times since I have been in Pandaria and even went to her house for dinner one night, which was kind of weird because she and her “husband” are both Death Knights.  The food was good and I thought that it was really nice that they would think to even have a good wine to serve with it.   I guess that Ty is the one that cooked the meal because Felaran still can’t cook stuff without destroying it.  It seems odd to have her living with a man here in Pandaria, however, I guess even Death Knights have some softer feelings too.

I like Fel’s “husband”, even if they aren’t really married, they just say that they are and even have rings to show.  I know that they couldn’t’ get married in Silvermoon or under the auspices of that law=minded group.  They just decided they were married.   Ty is an odd fellow, a bit on the quiet side sometimes, however, he is totally devoted to that cat of his, which is really odd.  He also makes some beautiful pieces of jewelry which kind of surprised me because I wouldn’t think that a real man cold make suck delicate pieces.  He showed me some of the jewelry that he was sending back to Silvermoon to sell and I was definitely awestruck, maybe he will be kind enough to give me some of the pieces some day.  Oh, I could buy them,  I suppose. However,  why should I spend money if he is willing to give it to me in the name of “family” helping family?  I think that it’s rather ironic that he looks very much like our brother and that sometimes he sounds like him – that dark mane of hair, those startling blue eyes and that voice make me feel a bit chilled and excited at the same time.  Fel seems to be very much in love with him and I hope that she is happy and that they can keep that act up for a long time too.

I already know that I am going to be telling Dawnglory all of the benefits of being with someone like me rather than that woman.  I’m educated, I have my own money and access to the Morningstar monies, if my brother has changed his orders at the banks, and I am also a lot younger than that woman is.  She’s older and has lived most of her life like an animal in Northrend.  Well, maybe he likes that pack mentality, however, it doesn’t go over well in Silvermoon where people have to at least some idea of the social norms.  I suppose with him living in the wilds as a Ranger has left him open to the idea that it’s okay to have a person act more like an animal that a real person.  I tried to talk to his sister about the way that he is living with this woman and she won’t talk to me anymore because I wasn’t all sunshine and nice about the fact that I think he is ruining his life.

I know that he and my brother still have some of their friends that are still Krasarang and I can’t believe how tight-lipped they are with any information in regard to Dawnglory.  It’s almost like they are in league trying to protect him for some reason or other.  Maybe it’s some kind of special code of theirs, however, I am not about to try to buck that system too much, it cost me enough time trying to do that and getting stuck at camp for weeks unless I was on patrol with some of those other people.  One of the guys let it slip that he thought that Dawnglory was already married – well, I found out that that is a joke because I contacted the Magisters offices in Silvermoon and after several days of waiting, there is no record of a marriage posted in their files for him.  Even if he does get married, that is no reason for me to stop trying to steal him away.  It makes little difference to me because I know that he belongs with me and not her.

Sitting in this Inn and staring out towards the market is really quite entertaining for a while, however, I am starting to get rather bored.  I suppose I should go out and see if I can find my man instead of sitting here in hopes that he will show up.  I know that he probably doesn’t visit the Inn very often these days with that woman and baby holding him back, it’s not like the old days when he could come and go a he wishes.   I would have never thought in a million years that my wild and headstrong Sindorei would become a domesticated being instead of what has always been a part of his nature. I think I’ll go out and see if I can find someone that might be more informative as to where Dawnglory lives, maybe a little gold in their hand might make them remember.

Fae

 

 

 

Mending Fences and more…


September 28th

 

Dear Journal,

I am sitting here quite amused and actually still kind of chuckling while I sit here at my workbench working on some of the jewelry I want to sell when I go back to Orgrimmar.  One thing that Felaran has taught me that I don’t think I will ever for is to teach me how to have a real sense of humor about some of the craziest things.

Okay, I know that Felaran and Faendra have been on the outs for a while due to all of the stuff that Faendra has chosen to do to almost completely burn the bridges with her family, however, they are still sisters by blood even if Felaran is a Death Knight, they are still related whether Faendra wants to admit to it or not is her problem.   I’ve watched these two dance around and take verbal shots at one another for the last few months whenever we meet and I just jokingly said that we ought to have Faendra over for dinner at the farm, you know, just to mend the fences a bit and to ease the tension in the family a little bit.

We all know and agree that Felaran is not real domestic when it comes to cooking and while we can eat the stuff, we’re dead and it won’t kill us, I’m not so sure that the living are quite ready for some of her dishes.  I had planned on cooking the meal and making sure that the food was at least eatable because I’m a better cook than Fel is anyway, bless her frozen heart.  No, no and no, Felaran was not going to hear anything of it, she was planning on cooking the meal herself and I think that that her intentions were honorable even if she willingly admits that she is no cook.   I am glad that we’re not using Felaran’s cooking as any kind of diplomatic message that we’d like to send to Warchief, we might never be able to go into Orgrimmar again.

Anyway, I did make the suggestion that she make up her menu before the dinner was planned and at least do a run through with it to make sure that she was pleased with the end results.  She still has to to coerce her sister into coming to dinner before we get too carried away though.  If they can stop hissing at one another long enough to get in a civil conversation, we might have a dinner party in the near future.

I know that I have probably said this before when I was writing but I will say it again.  I am extremely happy that I met Felaran and she has taught me how to enjoy this unlife with the living.  If it weren’t for her, I would probably be my old silent self and mopping about the changes in my life.  I’ve never been angry about it, just a bit peeved that my life had been cut short and I think I might have been enjoying myself as a Ranger too.  There are times that I yearn to hold a bow in my hands and feel that magic when you release the arrow for a true shot.   Oh well, those days are long past and I know that I will never pass that way again but it is one of the few memories that I have of the past that truly pleases me to some level.

Since the magistrates in Silvermoon have refused to allow us to be married in the true sense, Fel and I have done the next best thing.  We went to one of the temples here in Pandaria, explained our plight to the monk that we met inside and he performed a ritual of some kind that we’re not quite sure what it was but at the end he did say that he pronounced us man and wife.   So, Silvermoon may not recognize it but we do and that’s all that matters and maybe one day the bureaucrats will get their heads out of their rectal orifices to realize that we may be unliving, however, we are still people that should count in their little society.   So, Felaran is really Felaran Ravencrest, however, she is going to keep using her maiden name, which is really fine with me. It doesn’t matter to me which name she uses as long as she continues to be happy with me.

We were going to take some time away from the farm and decided at the last minute that we can put that off for a while because we both have a lot of contracts that are due in and we would much rather have the money at this point so that we can finish up with a few things on the farm at Halfhill.

 

Ty Ravencrest

New Beginnings To A New Life…


*Introducing a new character to add to my continuously growing army of alts.*

 

September 20th

Dear Journal,

I suppose I ought to start this out by saying that my name is Taleonis Nightshade and I am a Kaldorei Death Knight.  Not much to add to that other than the fact that my memories are of a more recent time when I was in service to the Lich King, anything prior to that time is lost to me.

It is hard to know what it was that I was prior to being released from the Lich King’s grasp, however, I know that there had to be more to me as a man than the killing machine that I became.  I remember some of the things that I have done and I do weep with remorse and shame because it was not something that I know I would have done if my humanity had been left intact.  Such cruel things we did and such awful things that we endured under the guidance of the Lich.

I have gone back to Darnassus and I do wander the streets and avenues there feeling at least somewhat at home.  Getting back with one’s own kind I think is probably the best thing that I could have done.  Oh yes, I was welcomed in Stormwind and I know that I could have stayed there for an indefinite period of time, however, I yearned to return to my homeland.

No, I didn’t go back to Darnassus to find my family, I know that I must have had one at some point, at least parents.  I wanted to go back to where my familial roots might be in order to gain some kind of inner peace from the life that I had led as solider in the Lick King’s service.  I know that I must have had friends that might recognize me, however, I do know that sometimes people are still definitely afraid of my kind because some of us haven’t learned how to control themselves when they are amongst the living – some of the newer Death Knights never finished the training required and are at a loss as to what it is that they are supposed to do – some have memories of families and some are like myself, their past is a clean slate.

One of the things that I have discovered about myself is that I must have been a tailor and enchanter before my change because I take great joy in making garments, I enjoy handling the cloth and being able to create something that is actually beautiful.  Naturally, my hands have been roughened and calloused over the years by handing a sword and they sometimes are too coarse to handle some of the more delicate fabrics.  I have learned a few tricks too, wearing gloves sometimes will enable me to handle some of the more delicate bolts of silk.  One of the things that I think amuses some of my friends is that I can go on for hours about the different types of cloth and don’t even get me started on brocades.

So far I have enjoyed giving service to the King and the Alliance and I have felt more at ease the more I force myself to interact with the living. I know that I will never be the man that I was before the change, however, that doesn’t mean that I will remain as I once was before my freedom was given back to me.  At least now I have the ability to make choices and my thoughts are my own and not some voice in my mind giving me directions as to what I will be doing.

I don’t think that the living could possibly understand what that control was like.  Every conscious moment that you had, there was that nagging feeling that there was someone else with you, the voice would speak up and you had orders that had to be followed as directed because if they weren’t, there were dire circumstances that would befall you.  The punishments handed out to some of us in Archerus were severe enough to where some us never truly recovered from them.

“All that I am:  Anger, Cruelty, Vengeance – I bestow upon you, my chosen knight.  I have granted you immortality so that you may herald in a new dark age for the Scourge.”    These were the first words that I can remember from the Lich King as he stood upon the platform overlooking the Plaguelands – I know that there was no bewilderment for me then, it was as it should be.   However, with the change of power and the loss of that direction, I willingly admit that I wandered around for quite some time with bewilderment and that feeling of being lost as my constant companions.  No, I’m not angry or filled with shame for what I have become, I will continue to live with the living and make my way in this new order.

I can understand why some of the living hate my kind.  We were creations of war, that is all that we were, we fought, we killed and kept doing that until our release.  I know that there are things that I have done that I am not proud of and wish that I could go back and change them, however, it is something that I have come to accept as a part of my “past”.  However, even with the release from the Lich King, we were not released from the control of our Rune Blades, our very lives depend on how well we can manage that hunger that grows with that blade.  At least I know how and when I need to go out and satiate that hunger, some of us have allowed it to drive them over the edge of sanity into madness – those Death Knights were hunted down and destroyed.  Oh yes, we can be killed, we’re not indestructible entities as some would like to believe.   We can be injured, we can suffer some amount of pain, however, we are supposedly immortal.

There are times that I sometimes wish that I knew about the man that I was and I know that in time I may find some of the answers to the questions that I have asked myself.  I know that some people probably think that it’s rather odd for a Death Knight to still follow the teachings of Elune – I know that I do and it gives me a certain peace that I can find in no other place.  There are times that I feel as if my soul is starting to break free from the changes that were made to me and might be finding its way back to the Light.  My question in that regard is if my soul were to return to this body, would this body complete the final death to set that soul free?

Ah, yes, my mind does tend to ramble and yes, I do get to be rather philosophical at times, however, that is a part of who I am now.  I know that there are times that I wish that I could plan things for the future, that I could age the way that the living do and know when my time on this plane is drawing to an end.   I know that one of the cruelest things that was done to the Death Knights is our inability to function in a normal way – I mean, my mind knows what it was like to be with a woman, however, this body of mine cannot take that pleasure like a normal mortal can.   I know that I can still be drawn to a beautiful woman and I can still do all of the things that living man can do with the exception of the more intimate things.  I would like to build a relationship with someone some day, I may never have children, however, that does not keep me from wanting to know that someone cares for me and that I can still care for them.  My body may be dead, however, my emotions are alive and well – I can care for things and yearn for those feelings to be reciprocated in like kind.

My, my, I did get a bit carried away here and it appears to be very long winded, however, it is only for my eyes to read and a way for me to try to track my memories  in the future.  I know that if I were a betting man, I used to write like this when I was alive.  I also get the feeling that one point I may have been that tailor or I may have been a hunter or something of that nature – my emotions do get jumbled up when I try to remember things too much.  Ah well, I am going to stop writing for now because I know that there will be plenty of other things to write about in the future.  I have traveled much since my release from the Lich King and have been too many lands including Pandaria – so many things that I could write about and so many stories I’m sure that I could tell.

Taleonis Nightshade

 

 

A Death Knight Can Be Happy…


August 22nd

Dear Journal,

I’m still having a slight chuckle about a recent conversation that I had with a young Bull in the market here in Halfhill.  Naturally, he definitely isn’t in the same condition that I am in, however, he was puzzled about how it was that I can remain so jovial and appear to be happy. After giving it some quick thought, my response was that I am happy because the alternative didn’t seem to be so pleasing.  Being truly dead is something that I am not ever going to look forward to although the teachings have us believe that we will be in a happy place with our loved ones and in the full care of the Earth Mother.

Yes, I still go by my Death Knight name that was given to me when I was changed which is Sadheart, however, the people that knew me from before still call me by my given name of Naton Cloudhoof.  What is in a name you ask?  Well, I was none too pleased with being changed into my current state and that was why I was given the name that I was in Archerus.   It fits me because there are days that I willingly admit that I wish that I was more mortal than I am currently – there are so many things that in my mind that I would like to do but this shell of a body no longer works in those ways.  At least I am with my family, watching them grow older as the time passes, however, I am with them in the here and now which is what makes me happy.

Why do I laugh sometimes?  Well, just because I’m Death Knight doesn’t mean that I can’t have a sense of humor because I most assuredly do.  I can enjoy life with living as much as they can and I don’t see why that wouldn’t put a smile on anyone’s face.  I can enjoy things as much as the next fellow.  Do I have the same wants and needs as a living Bull – well, in my mind I do, however, there are certain things that don’t work quite the same any more since I have joined the ranks of the unliving.   Yes, I would still like to have a family of my own some day, however, the possibility of having children has been taken from me, although, I wouldn’t mind marrying a woman that already has children as long as those said children would accept me for the person that I am and not “what” I am.

At least I have my business to keep me busy and yes, I do have to take a run every now and again to make sure that my Rune Sword is probably fed and satiated with its own type of wants.   I know that it is hard for some people to realize that I am still a Death Knight and I do have those moments where the Knight has to become what he is – that’s usually when I will take off for a couple of days and do my thing.

My whole life or unlife changed for me when I became a Death Knight and some of the things that I have done in the past I am not exactly proud of and try to push those memories to the back of my mind, sometimes they escape and come racing back to the forefront, however, I have learned how to control that part pretty much.  My life also took another huge change when I was released from the power of the Lich King because I was given control back to myself – no more voices commanding that I kill this or that and no more orders coming from on high that would direct me to places and do things that I would rather not think about.   Yes, I will admit that these changes have all been a part of what makes me as I am today.

I will have to admit that I am not too unhappy with working for Morningstar Enterprises because the money is good, I know that my family will always be taken care of because Commander Morningstar is that much of a family oriented person.  He actually bailed Maha and I out from being in service to the Horde and we’re contract people for him these days.  Not that I was disloyal or anything to the Horde, however, I wasn’t too keen on following that crazy man that called himself a Warchief.   He lost whatever shred of loyalty I had to the faction when he started his nonsense about the Pure Horde – which meant Orcs.  Well, I know that Baine has sworn fealty to the Horde, however, I don’t think that he would disapprove of what it is that my family and I are doing, we’ve aligned ourselves with a Blood Elf and follow what he wants for his company.  I know that I am not planning on ever getting myself involved in any kind of military action again in the near future, my body is tired, my mind is tired and I want to enjoy what this unlife has to offer to me now – a home, my family and an inner peace that I haven’t known since the days prior to becoming a Death Knight.

Yeah, I guess you should say that I am happy with my lot in life.  Being a Death Knight is not all that I am, it’s being Naton Cloudhoof and being able to have some semblance of fitting back in with my people again and enjoying what all that entails.  Sure, I get strange looks from people that still believe all of the old tales of the Scourge and how Death Knights were mindless killing machines, which we were, I won’t deny that, however, we all have been given a chance to fit back in with the rest of the people and I am going to take a gamble by enjoying it, whatever it brings.

I have spent the last few days spending some time with my baby brother, Tahfal and he is still following his teachings of being a Lightwalker, which is fine with me.  If he is happy following that sort of thing, I am not going to pass judgment on him for it.  He has been able to blend the teachings of the Earth Mother and the teachings from the Light into what he feels comfortable with.  No, he isn’t always righteous and good and I know this – he’s still very much a young bull and will learn in time what it is that he really wants out of his life and his beliefs.

Naton “Sadheart” Cloudhoof

 

Slow Down…Enjoy Unlife


June 8th

Dear Journal,

I know that I really shouldn’t be having as much fun as I am, however, that just doesn’t seem to be the case.  I think that I have finally found the place where I can be happy, enjoy this unlife of mine to the fullest and still just keep going.  I have never been one of those Death Knights filled with angst and anger at what was done to me, however, I have had to bear the brunt of the shame and the disgust of some of my kin.  Oh well, it’s there loss and my gain because I will live this unlife the way that I see fit.

I still show respect for my elders and still worship the Earth Mother as I was taught as a young bull, however, I think that I am more appreciative of the things that happen than some of the living are.  Oh yes, I can go anywhere in Azeroth that my heart desires and do what I want to do which is mostly work and enjoy the fruits of my labors.

Once again, the whole family went to the Faire and had a marvelous time.  I still laugh at Nahai and Tahfal with their wild antics at the Faire.  It’s not even a contest which of us happens to be the best at the canon ride – me.  I love it, I’ll go as many times as I can and I always just get such a rush from flying through the air and hitting the target every single time.  Oh, I may not get the bull’s-eye, however, I do make it more often than m brothers.   I’m also the best dancer too – even if I do have to say so myself. I love to dance and be happy – just taking the joy in the music and seeing other people happy too.

I think I just enjoy the atmosphere of the Faire and that’s why I like to go when we have the chance.  I always know that I will spend at least a full day in Thunder Bluff doing things for some of the tribe members there.  Mostly repairs to the old copper pots and talking with some of the elders there.  It isn’t that I mind it at all because it makes me feel like I am home and I belong there with my people even if some of them are afraid that I might go off the deep end one day and turn back into a killing machine again.

Mom and Nahai are almost finished with their house on their farm now and I expect that they are getting anxious to move in.  I know that Maha will miss having them around because they love to chatter away about all of the things that they are seeing in Pandaria and some of the things that they are doing.  Naturally, Nahai thinks that the flying is the best in Pandaria and the wind drafts carry him much further there than they do in Kalimdor.  I don’t know, he might be right, except that I think that he is just enjoying life as much as he can right now.   Mom loves the farm and she is enjoying getting things set up with her own little house.  She and Maha spend hours trying to decide what piece of furniture would fit better in one place and they do like to carry on about the food.

I know that this is going to sound funny coming from the likes of myself, however, I don’t think that it really matters since no one else will ever read my journal, I’m kind of a boring fellow.   I am just enjoying what life has been giving me since we all made the change to Pandaria.  There doesn’t seem to be the bias here that I used to sometimes feel when I was in the Bluff.  I can stroll into the market here, people know my name, I can talk to whomever I choose and just feel happy about my life as it is.

I honestly think that Mom acts like she is ten years or even twenty years younger since she came here to Halfhill to live.  She’s always singing and acting like she is happy when she is around the house.  She and Maha have gotten along a lot better up here too since Maha finally told Mom that she hasn’t found a bull to her liking yet, however, when she does, she will be sure to let her know right away.  Mom wants grandchildren, plain and simple.  At least she hasn’t been after me to find a mate because she knows that it wouldn’t do any good if I did anyway because there just won’t be any children coming from me since my change.  Ah well, at least I can enjoy the little ones that the other people have here in Halfhill with them.  Someday I may find a mate, not just for procreation but someone that I can care about and they will care about me as the man that I am, not the Death Knight.  I can’t see anything wrong with a fellow wanting a family, even if they aren’t his – it would make me very happy if I could find someone that can accept me for what I am and see the person that lives in this dead body as they really are.

I have had a chance to get out and do some exploring on my own here lately and I will have to admit that I find a great deal of comfort at the Tian Monastery.  It’s beautiful and not too far off the beaten path and close enough to home that I can go there and get back in a short amount of time.  I like talking to the monks and I like watching the training going on there.

I finally put together a good set of armor that I am selling through the auction house – naturally, there will be fittings to be done which will cost a bit extra, however, I am going to try to make enough money with my work that we don’t have to worry about finances again.  I’ve also sent back several pieces to Zippie so that she can see if there is a good market for them in Silvermoon and Shattrath – I also get a bonus if they sell well too.   I will have to admit that my happiest times are when I am standing at the forge and working on things that I know people will like and enjoy for years to come.  I don’t care if it is pot or if it is armor, I just enjoy the whole thing of creating something.

Well, crap, wouldn’t you know that I would get the laundry detail with Mom today too.  I thought Nahai was going to go with her to do it, however, he has some flirtation going on with one of the local Tauren ladies that he had planned to go on a picnic with.  Oh well, I don’t mind, at least I know that Mom will be safe with me and won’t be left standing there by the stream wondering where I went – Nahai can get distracted by the craziest things – oh, oh, a shiny or oh, oh a really big herb.  I do understand that he is still young, however, I do sometimes wonder if all that flying hasn’t shifted his brain a little off-kilter somewhat.

 

Naton “Sadheart” Cloudhoof

I Don’t Need This Right Now…


*Some swearing and blunt language – if this sort of thing offends you, please don’t read this.*

 

June 5th

Dear Journal,

I am so angry with Tylanlor right now that I could just spit.  Well, that made me feel better after I did spit, however, it’s just something else for me to clean up now.

Why in the hell would he think that he was protecting me by not telling me that my sister is here in Pandaria?  If I could get my hands on her neck right now, she’s probably be a corpse because I am pretty angry with her too.   My stupid brother thought that things were settling down and that she was going to be just “fine” in Silvermoon.  I could have and did tell him that he was wrong and I am sure that his wife told him the same thing.

Faendra is not like the rest of us, I don’t care what anyone says.   She has turned into someone that I don’t think that I even want to know but I have too because she’s my sister.  Her obsession with Dawnglory has gone beyond all boundaries of sanity – she truly needs to get her head looked at or her mental deck reshuffled because what she is doing is wrong, totally wrong.  When I do finally catch up with her I do fully intend on putting my plate boot up her skinny arse as well as my fist in her face.  I’ve never struck her before, however, I think that it is long overdue because she has caused this family enough grief with her idiocy.

Dawnglory is happy with Romy and his baby girl.  He doesn’t want some selfish little bitch from Silvermoon to show up and try to ruin things for him.   He has already told Faendra in the past that he thinks of her as a sister, nothing more.   There might have been some flirtation on his part at one point, however, Fae isn’t bright enough to know what being flirted with is all about.  I know she made our last Christmas Veil miserable,  the last time that the whole family was together,  because she expected Dawnglory to ask her to marry him or something or give her  a ring – well, he had no intentions of dong that, I knew that and so did Fnor.  This all took place before she ran away from Orgrimmar – silly stupid girl.

I’m really happy that I am a Death Knight and I don’t have to deal with all of the social bullshit in Silvermoon.   I can do whatever I want and if they don’t like it, they can kiss my cold dead behind, at least Ty likes it.  Anyway, she has killed any of her chances of doing anything for herself in Silvermoon now after running off this time – she’s used goods as far as everyone is concerned or at least too insane for any family of any importance to want to have to deal with her.  I hope she’s fucking happy with that bit of news when it finally registers in her little pea brain.

Well, I hope she’s happy because she’s already causing trouble for people that know her and I haven’t laid eyes on her yet.  I shouldn’t have thrown that bowl of noodles at Ty because he and FuzzButt took off for parts unknown and I should go find him.  He was only doing what he thought was right – he’s still learning things about how to deal with people issues.  I think I saw tears in his blue eyes before he ducked out the door – I know I hurt his feelings badly by screaming at him like some kind of banshee. I need to go find him and apologize and explain to him why I got so upset and let him know that I don’t need that kind of protection – it’s a family thing and I am adult enough to deal with it.

I bet I know where he went because he always goes there when he’s upset.  He’s at the Jade Temple talking to the bears or fishing or watching the training.  I’ll find him and make it right between the two of us – our first argument of any merit and it has to be over my dumbass sister.

I did fire off a letter to Fnor to let him know that we know where Faendra is and that we’re going to go ahead and warn Dawnglory if he doesn’t already know about it.  News travels fast amongst the Blood Elf community up here and I am sure that someone has already been pounding on his door to let him know that some lunatic is looking for him.

 

Felaran Morningstar