OOC – Trying to get back on track

September 8, 2019

Well, had a few days of not feeling all that great and didn’t play all that much because I was just not in the mood and wanted to lay on the couch and sleep most of the time away.  It happens and I have just learned how to accept it.  Now, I’m feeling a bit better – I think its weather related to be quite honest.

There are times that my loft can turn into an oven even with the AC running because of the skylight with the sun coming in.  I used to love that skylight because it enabled me to use some natural light when I was drawing and painting.  With my eyesight going wonky, I don’t do either of those things much anymore, I keep trying without much success but I’m not ready to toss all of that aside just yet.  Of course, all my computers are in the loft as well and they can crank out some considerable heat sometimes.  Add 100F on the outside of the house and it’s rather toasty up here.  Oh well, I hope that part of season is finished now, and I don’t have to feel like I’m in a sauna. 

I’ve been busy getting my computers set up and tweaking them here and there to get them all running the way that I want them too.  Hey, not being computer savvy, it is usually a hit or miss thing for me, but I think I have everything that I want working now, so, ready to sit here and start getting myself back into that thing like a schedule.

I always used to write during the morning and listen to some music while I was doing it – well, that stereo died a few years a go and I’m not using my tablet to do that for me.  Hey, it works, and I don’t blow the neighbors out of their units – that has got to be an improvement. If I want to blow the cobwebs out, I can hook my tablet up to my speakers on the computer and it works quite well.

Just celebrated my 40th Wedding Anniversary and I’m still sitting here in a state of shock.  I can’t believe that the years have zoomed by quite that fast, but I guess that they have.  My son is getting closer to 50, so, that’s another dead give away to the fact that time is going by at a rapid rate.  Yes, he is from a previous marriage, however, he looks more like his stepfather than he does me which has always been the joke of the family.  At least we’ve all lasted this long and not many folks can say that sort of thing these days either.

Yes, I have started playing Classic a little bit, but I will have to admit that I am in retail more than I am in Classic.  I did it when it was “new”, and I’ll go back and visit a bit but I’m not going to dedicate myself to it like some of my friends and acquaintances have.  I got spoiled with all the neat stuff in retail and that’s where all my shinnies are.  Besides, I’m one of those silly folks that likes to play Blood Elves a lot and I’m based in Horde heavily.  I still play Alliance and my heart will always be on that side of the factions.  Let’s just say that I was heartbroken when Varian died and then the Tree – I don’t think I’ve gotten over that yet.  Oh yes, I’ve reset it so that I don’t see the burning stump anymore, but my heart just aches every time I go back there.    While everyone is running around in Classic, I’m playing my version in Retail by playing my little baby alts.  I am not about progress anyway, I’m about the journey.  If I am enjoying it and having fun, I don’t see any harm in it because it does help with my immersion and some of the unpublished writings.

I know that I am going to have to work on my self-discipline and start writing the way that I used too and fight my way back into the “work habit” that I was known for all those years ago and not let my depression and moods keep me from doing it.   Need to set up some new personal goals that I have some hope of fulfilling.  I’ve just been kind of wandering around in my head for the last couple of years and feeling a bit lost because I just don’t allow myself the time for the creativity that I once did.  Denying myself that outlet has been a big mistake and hasn’t eased my depression at all. 

Oh yes, been hiding out in my Kindle quite a bit with reading some of my old favorites and picking up a few new ones here and there.  That eases the mind and I do have the option of using the Audio when I choose.  Mostly, I’ll sit down and just read away and the hours fly by.   I know I put off getting a Kindle for a few years because I was being stubborn – hehe, now I can adjust the print and size, so, I’m back on reading with a great deal more comfort. 

Sorry for the running off at the mouth here, just writing down and trying to get used to putting my thoughts down instead of stacking off in the dusty corner of my mind that is labeled “For Later” because later never seems to arrive.

I am forcing myself back on the road and I hope that I can keep going and not hit too many roadblocks on the road.

OOC – June 27th … Why Do You Do That?

June 27th, 2017

LOL had some physical issues that kept me from playing World of Warcraft for a couple of days and when I did – where do I start again?  I do know that I have a few characters out roaming about and I still play the majority of them to get inspired about writing again, however, that doesn’t work sometimes and this was one of those times.  I also go through phases sometimes when I have the double-kicker of getting depressed at the same time that I am physically not feeling well.

I know part of my problem is not getting out and actually interacting with RL people doesn’t help a whole lot, however, being a caregiver for someone that is disabled does make it rather challenging sometimes to be able to do that sort of thing.   Part of my depression stems from the fact that I know that things aren’t going to change in RL and that the majority of the people that I used to play with in-game are not longer playing and apparently have no intentions of coming back.  Oh well, that’s life with the gaming world and I am going to have to accept it.

I am probably a terrible gamer, however, I enjoy what I do and since I tend to do things solo, I enjoy things for what they are – strictly entertainment and not a career building endeavor. I love the fantasy of gaming and the escape from reality – there are times when it’s not so easy to escape the reality that time is passing and I’m not getting any younger either.  In my mind, I’m still Peter Pan with Tinkerbell, however, looking at my body, I know better than that.  Gravity does bad things to your body when you age and you can’t ignore it.

It has been rather peculiar that I am finding myself being drawn more to the Old Content in-game due to the storylines and to the gaming itself.  I love the Lore of the game although it has been botched up so many times now that I am getting “anything goes” out of it a lot of the time.  It’s much easier to get lost and channeled in the fantasy world when you are actually enjoying what you’re doing – I’m not enjoying a lot of the Legion stuff because there is a ton of it to do and there is no point to it when you already know that you aren’t going to get to finish it  – the only place I can’t fly is in Legion, too many hoops and I just don’t feel like playing that way.

Still love the game and the people in it, however, I might take a hiatus here in the near future because it does seem as though I am getting to the point that I don’t want to log in if I feel like I have to play on the Broken Shore.  I have had fun with it when I do get in there for awhile and then I have to take a break from it because it becomes too tedious.  I was the same way in Draenor for a while too because I was late getting my flying there as well, took freaking forever.

The only choice we have been given in the last two expansions is to do the Pathfinder requirements – I usually get kissed when I have sex, however, since I’m paying for it – seems like I just got screwed.  Legion is definitely going to be my last expansion and I have plenty of characters to keep me busy for the rest of my natural life.

Okay, time to put forth some effort in my writing and get on with the show, if I play my way and immerse myself in my characters’ “lives” I might stick with it a bit longer.  I used to enjoy writing quite a bit even if it is all drabble and nonsense – I’m not a professional writer and I just write for the fun of it, if I had any intentions of earning a living with it, I’ve long since given that up.

See you all in-game and I do apologize for my wandering rant here, it’s a mood thing that will soon pass, I hope.