Starting Off The New Year…

January 27th

Dear Journal,

Peiling and I were sitting by the fire night before last and we both started laughing. We’ve been in Stormwind for a whole year.  Yep!! Been a whole year and I think that we have done rather well considering that when we got here, we both had empty purses and not as much skill as we thought we had where we came from.  It’s been a long haul, however, it’s been a learning thing and it has been fun.

I know that I am just sitting here this morning and kind of taking it easy a bit.  Oh, Peiling is out at the market to see if he can scrounge up some of his beloved tea from his homeland and in hopes of seeing that little girl panda again, I’m sure.  He met her a couple of months ago and they have become very close friends although I don’t think that there is a romantic interest there so, however, I’m no expert on Panda’s and their mating rituals.  I just know that Peiling keeps telling me that he is taking his time getting to know her and learning more about her family.  It sounds like they didn’t live that far apart in Pandaria but had never met.

Me, well, I have seen a few young ladies that have caught my eye, however, I think they were more interested in the size of my purse than me.  Luckily, I don’t carry a whole lot of money with me when I go out wandering the city.  I’ve already learned the hard way that these cutpurses are very quick and you never even know you’ve had yours taken until you go to pay for something. I hope they enjoyed the gold that I had in my pouch when they acquired it because I can tell you that it was damned little – that was shortly after my arrival in the city.

I’m not one for drinking, thank the Light, however, I do like to socialize now and again.  I had started going to the Blue Recluse for a while because it was fairly close to the Inn and it also seemed to be fairly friendly for the most part.  I met a few people there and enjoyed sitting there drinking my mead and listening to the conversations that were going.  It’s mostly mages that hang out there and there is good reason for that with the Tower being right outside and it’s a quick place to grab a bite to eat as well as a good place to grab a drink to go with it.  I did notice that the crowd started changing a couple of months back and decided that I would find a new watering hole.  A rougher crowd than what I was used too and I noticed that a lot of the younger mages were not coming in very often either.  I wonder what might be going on there and if the guards are keeping an eye out on things.

I’ve actually taken to going over to the Pig and Whistle in Old Town.  That’s closer to the house that we were able to rent before Winter Veil.  As I said before, this past year has been interesting and fun for Peiling and I.  We actually have our own bedrooms and don’t have to share a bed like we were at the Inn.  Peiling is a very good friend, however, I will have to admit that a Panda can snore louder than ten men in a room and he’s not an exception. Thank goodness he knows how to cook – there are times I will be dead to the world in my deepest sleep and I will wake up to the most glorious smells emanating from our little kitchen.  I’m surprised that I don’t weigh as much as Peiling sometimes because what he can do with a few vegetables and some cheap meat is better than anything I have ever had a chance to eat before.

Things have worked out really well for us since we went to work for that Night Elf lady, Amyn Shadowmoon.  She explained everything to us and introduced us to a Draeni by the name of Magdamia something or other.  She was very nice to us, however, she did look at us like we had crawled out from under someone’s dirty carpet.  I think she has issues dealing with the furry folks that come into the warehouse, including Peiling.  He was so polite to her that I was about to kick him in the butt for trying to suck up, however, I realized that that is just his way with dealing with unpleasantness.

So, yeah, this past year has been a good year even with some of the problems we had and have been able to overcome.  At least we have our own home now and don’t have to worry about bed space being gone when we get back from a hard day’s work.

I guess I should explain why I am taking it easy this morning instead of going out and getting myself busy with some of the contracts we picked up.  Well, yesterday, I had a contract that needed to be delivered in Iron Forge.  It would have been all good except that I ran into Andrew Bitterbeer, one of the fellows that works out of Stormwind too.  Oh, we’ve chatted a few times and he was always giving Peiling a tough time about the Pandaren brews and arguing about how much better the dwarves could brew.

Well, yesterday, I got invited to the Bitterbeers’ pub and it was all over except for the shouting. Oh, nothing would do except that I had to taste each brew that they had in stock, which seemed to be quite a bit.  I was fine until I got to taste the founder’s brew which could have curled the hair on one of those kodo things in Kalimdor I’ve heard tell of.  Naturally, you can’t exactly drink and not eat, so, I ate boar ribs until I was getting a bit green about the gills.  I will have to admit that when I caught the tram back to Stormwind, I wasn’t sure that I had even arrived in the correct town.  I staggered home in a stupor and proceeded to fall asleep on the couch in front of the fire.

That’s exactly where I woke up this morning with a blanket thrown over me by Peiling, I’m sure.  Oh, my head felt like someone had been beating on it all night and we won’t even discuss my stomach.  On the kitchen table was a note from Peiling and a tankard filled with some concoction that he had made up to help me with this blasted hangover.   The stuff helped my head quite a bit, however, my stomach is definitely the thing that is keeping me at home until it settles down.  I have no desire to be running through Stormwind and throwing up on every street corner.  So, I may have to call it a “day off” and work some extra hours to make up for my stupidity.

I know that dwarves can drink quite a bit and it doesn’t seem to bother them, however, I don’t think I have had a hangover like this for a few years.  Maybe it was time for me to relearn why I don’t drink very often and why I should never drink with dwarves.

At least this year seems to be getting off to a rousing start and I think that Peiling and I will be showing a profit again.  It’s kind of doubtful that we will be moving out of our little house here for a long time because we both have friends here in town and I don’t think either one of us wants to start over in a new place for a while.

Jake Jacobsen

DO NOT DRINK WITH DWARVES – I should know better

February 26th

Dear Journal,

I woke up for a little while when Kae left this morning and I will admit that it is nice to be back in Panderia, things seem less complicated here.  I am still kind of confused about what actually happened in Stormwind – totally oblivious to what might have happened in Ironforge.

I met Josie in Stormwind and we agreed to be “friends” – okay, that’s fine, I don’t mind being friends and we both promised that we would write one another, however, through my past experience, Josie isn’t all that great in the letter writing thing.  I mean, she can write, however, it’s almost as infrequent as when I get to see her.  We shall see.  Yes, maybe we were moving too fast, I have no idea what it is she wants from me – I’m not ready to get married by a long shot.

As for Ironforge. I should know better than to get into a drinking bout with a bunch of dwarves, however, I did it anyway.  I only know that when I woke up the next morning, if it was morning even, I had three female dwarves in bed with me, all I had on was my loincloth and a boot.  What really woke me up was the one laying on my chest and snoring into my ear – she was kind of cute, however, I have no idea who she was. I was flat on my back with a dwarf under each arm.  Oh, Elune, I hope that I didn’t do anything that I should be ashamed of but I have no idea what was going on.  Of course, Andrew was laughing like a hyena when I went downstairs after slipping out of the bed and not even waking the one on my chest, just kind of slid her off there.

Naturally, he gave me some “hair of the dog” as he puts it the minute I sat down and I thought that I was going to throw up when he told me he put a wee bit of gun powder in it to give it a kick.  Gets rid of the hangover he says. 

His eyes were just gleaming when he told me that the girls had taken me upstairs for some fun and the racket that went on sounded like they were having a good time.  I wanted to crawl under the table and possibly all the way back to Panderia.  So far, in the past, I supposedly puked in the fountain pool at the mage quarter, now, I’ve committed some kind of weird acts with a bunch of female dwarves or supposedly.   I honestly don’t remember and my body doesn’t tell me that it had a good time like that.

Now, the big thing is that he said that they had a gnomish camera up there and they would be sending me pictures when they were developed – Oh Elune!! How am I going to explain that? One would think that I would remember if I did something like that with that many women at one time.  My head was still kind of spinning and foggy when I left Ironforge.  Yeah,  I promised that I would be back for a visit soon, however, I think I’m going to avoid the booze and the women – in that order.

Of course, I made a quick stop in Stormwind at the apartment so I could get cleaned up and changed clothes.  I didn’t want to go to Dolonaar just reeking of alcohol.  I didn’t want that “tsk tsk” that I would get from Grandmother and the “evil” wink from Grandfather.

I did get to see the little guys and they are growing like weeds.  My grandparents tell me that my Mom hasn’t visited in a while, however, they did hear from her.  She’s been in Deepholm with the Sentinels.  Knowing my Mother, she probably hated that place as much as I did.  I used to get sent down there for basilisk hides and I hated the closeness and darkness of the place with a passion.  I did try to get some hides from other places to substitute, however, that didn’t work.  Darn basilisks have crystals in their hides down there that make the leather kind of sparkle when it’s tanned.  Not to mention, I got my butt chewed out by my Mother for trying a stunt like that.  I hope she’s okay.

I will admit that I did have a bit of a hangover while I was there and my Grandfather took me outside and gave me some of his own homemade brew to see if that would help.  My Grandmother insisted that I take some herbs to help – oh, they helped a whole lot – I think that I heaved the entire contents of my stomach of anything that I had eaten in the last two days.   I really have to make a note to myself that I shouldn’t  drink with dwarves and I shouldn’t take my Grandmother’s herbs.

The farm looked so good when I got back to Panderia and Halfhill.  I just had to go out and look at things and to clear my head from traveling so quickly to get back here.  It was nice to see Kae again, it was almost like being able to relax completely when I saw her.  Naturally, she wanted to cook something for me to eat and I had to tell her that I wasn’t hungry and the only thing that I wanted to do was to go to bed and get some sleep.

Kae had made me some food before she left this morning and I will admit that I was hungry for some food that wasn’t something I could have eaten in Stormwind or Ironforge.  Why she made soup before she left has me amazed, however, the beef broth and the veggies just settled my stomach right down. 

I’m sure that we will have a nice time talking about my leave when she gets back today, however, I think I am going to go back to bed, I’m exhausted.





Letter To Kaldor Shadowmoon

February 8th


Me and Hammon was wonderin’ when you was going to be showing up again?  Our Ma said she thought she saw you a few days ago but you was running like someone had set your butt on fire or somthin.

Ach, Laddie, we’re missing the good times we had when you’d visit and all the women at me brother’s bar are wondering when ya been.  I’ll be sending this letter to the office in Stormwind, since I know you’re probably not living in Dalaran these days.

That Draeni woman that’s running things in Stormwind, Magdamnit or whatever the heck her name is says you’re all off fighting the war.  Yeah, we seen them Panderian with their high and mighty brews, however, they sure can’t drink a good dwarven stout wit’ou falling down.

Yeah, that Draeni is living the high life of being the boss these days when me and Hammon bring our hides in.  She makes us wipe our feet at the door to the warehouse – now , how bloody stupid is that? Aye, we liked Romey even if she was one them educated spacegoats, she didn’t take on any airs, ya know.  Besides, she was good for a flirt now and again – this one acts like her tail gets caught under her hooves and she gets damned cranky.

If you don’t have time to stop by, at least drop us a line, we miss you and the girls miss you even more than we do.  Sure, you know, it’s okay if you puked in the fountain the last time you was here.  I’m sure no one will be rememberin’ that happening. Besides, we need your help with some gnomes that need puntin’ outta the bar now and again.

I hope you’re being careful with those fury girls up in Panderia.  I hear tell they can really put the hurt on you big fellas.  They do like a cuddle now and again with a dwarf though, gotta be those beautiful beards we have. 

Well, Hammon and Rye says to tell ya hello and to come back soon.

Andrew Bitterbeer

c/o Bitterbeer Brewery


Do Not Go Out Drinking With Dwarves…EVER

June 7th

Dear Journal,

I woke up in Dolonaar with one heck of a hangover. I guess I did go out drinking with the dwarves last night in Iron Forge and I should have known better than to do that, they started getting booze when they were babes in arms and I’m just a lowly night elf.

I’ll admit that I was feeling a bit depressed about things and my lack of a social life at the moment. We were all sitting in the apartment because I didn’t feel like going out and wandering around Stormwind some more. I half way wanted to go to Dalaran to see my parents, however, they are still doing their “we just got married and we’re going to have so much sex because we can” thing. So, I would definitely be intruding and feeling more alone than I already do.

Vashlan wasn’t even in the apartment because he had decided to go hang out with his friends at the Blue Recluse and talk about mage stuff. He seems to have found his way around the city fairly well and has been able to fit into things much better than I have. Maybe wearing a dress, reading a book and waving your hands around is the way to go for him.

So, there I sat with the dwarves, getting my clock cleaned playing cards because I couldn’t concentrate on anything. Of course, Hammon and Andrew were getting a bit homesick too and they thought it would be a wonderful idea if we all went to Iron Forge to visit with their family. So we did.

When we got to Iron Forge, the dwarves were anxious to go talk to Ma and see how the rest of the clan was getting on, so, I tagged along. I will admit that they are a rowdy lot and the first thing they do is to hand you a mug of beer – some kind of family tradition, I suppose. I met the whole family, the brothers, and the sisters except for the bartender brother that was off doing his job on a weekend night. So, naturally, they didn’t want him to feel left out and we wandered over to the Pub where he was working.

Going to Iron Forge was my first mistake of the night, however, not the last. I was introduced to the brother and nothing would do that we all have a round of drinks, proper dwarven stout, it was too. Naturally Andrew and Hammon weren’t to be outdone in the drinking that was going on and many rounds were bought. I knew I was getting over my limit in the drinking but kept going. The jokes were flying the women were flirting and the “boys” were in their element it seems. There I sat, the lone Night Elf in a bar full of dwarves and gnomes.

I finally just had to find a chair and sit down because it was hard enough that I towered all over everyone in there but they insisted on coming up close so that I was forced to keep my head down to look them in the face when we were talking. I was getting a bit dizzy from that or from the drinking, I don’t know which.

Naturally, the “boys” took it upon themselves to advertise the fact that I was a very “lonely” Night Elf and that my personal life was in the furthest outhouse in Stormwind. Oh, if that was humiliating enough, I had a little female gnome jump up in my lap and started playing with my hair and telling me how tall I was – you know the drill. Well, the gnome kept saying she hadn’t had any good Night Elf in while when a rather stout little dwarf female came up and told her that she probably hadn’t ever had any Night Elf or she wouldn’t be wanting to get so familiar with such a big fellow as myself. Well, now, I had a gnome on one thigh and a dwarf on the other that were intent on doing something and I wasn’t so sure how that would work out at all, not to mention, I was really drunk. The two of them started squabbling on which one of them was going to get the honor and all I could do was laugh and shake my head “no”.

I eventually stood up and summarily dumped the two little ladies on the ground by accident and staggered out the door. I don’t know what I was doing really, I just needed to get out of the noise and the smoke and the pawing little hands on my person. Andrew yelled out at me not to puke in the tram rails, which caused me to want to do exactly that.

I told him I just needed to get away from the noise and he suggested that I go to the Wailing Cavern, which I have been too a few times before. So, I staggered down the walk, running into walls, tripping over a gnome or two before I got to the mage quarter and saw the pool in the middle. Well, it did seem like a good idea at the time, I went over and sat by the fountain, pool, whatever they are trying to call it these days. A whole crowd of dwarves came waltzing out of the mage headquarters, my head was pounding and my stomach was none too strong. The next thing I know, I have another beer in my hands and was told to drink…a bit of the hair of the dog to cure my ills. I wasn’t sick, I was drunk.

I wandered away from that rowdy group after having had two more mugs of beer forced into my hands and headed to where I thought the Cavern was. I had guess right and proceeded to flop down staring at the water. It was dark in there and the only sound was the lapping of the water and that eerie wind sound that is always in there. Somehow it was peaceful though. I remember sitting down there and putting my face against the cool stone of the cavern and closed my eyes. I must have dozed off or passed out because the next thing I know, there’s yelling and screaming, people running hither and yon and the occasional bellow of Lok’tar – great, the Horde was paying Iron Forge a visit.

I was still drunk and I knew that I couldn’t do anything to help defend the capital other than shoot one of the defenders by accident. All these little people running around that were about waist high were really making me dizzy and the noise…the noise was deafening.

I know that I must have looked a sight because some little healer ran up and gave me a potion and told me to drink it, which I did. Another mistake, the next thing I hear is someone saying that I was critical condition and needed to be put on the tram to Stormwind. So, off to Stormwind my body went, I don’t know if my brain has caught up with my body yet.

I wasn’t hurt, I was drunk.

I can vaguely remember getting to Stormwind and summarily dumped out in the dwarven district by another little healer that said I needed to go sleep it off somewhere else, they had injured people to deal with and who knew if the Horde were going to try to visit Stormwind next.

I think I went to the Faire. I don’t remember. I do remember the canon ride, so, I must have gone. I think I puked on some people as I few over and have no clue if I hit the target in the water or not.

I woke up this morning in my Grandparents front yard with my Grandmother tsk-tsking over me as my two little hellions of brothers stood there giggling. Why do little kids have to be so damned loud? I know I really must have looked terrible because my Grandmother insisted that I get in the house before the neighbors saw me and eat some food. Food cures everything!

Not this food. I swear she must have emptied a pot of salt on the eggs she cooked and then the meat was just as salty. More salt and then she hands me another potion which, still being a bit inebriated, I dutifully drank down and proceeded to unload the contents of my stomach all over the dining room floor. I did help clean that up and was just rising back to my feet when my Grandfather strode in and he didn’t have a happy look on his face.

He and I went outside and had one of those long discussions that parents like to give their children when the child has been misbehaving. I don’t think that I heard half of what he said other than “your Mother is not going to be happy about this” part.

So, here I sit, my head pounding like a blacksmith pounding on an anvil and waiting to see if my Mother shows up in a fury. Of course, I’ve been told to keep an eye on the little guys while my Grandparents went to the temple to pray for my soul. I wish they had left some rope out where I could find because I would love to tie these two up and put them in a closet somewhere. All they can do is laugh at me and tell me that they had never seen me colored green before.

That’s how I spent my night. I don’t think I will ever drink any more alcohol again because I am almost sure that I’m dying or my head is going to fall off.