June 10th – Life Goes On…Even For Death Knights

June 10th

Dear Journal,
It has been quite some time since I have written in my journal because Ty and I have been busy keeping up with our duties in Pandaria. We haven’t gone to serve our time in Draenor yet, however, we both know that the Horde will be calling us up eventually even with the waiver that we got through my brother’s auspices and political dealings. It’s nice being able to hide under that umbrella that covers the employees of Morningstar Enterprises. I don’t know how he does these sort of things, however, it has been going on for years.

Our little farm is our home and the first one that I have felt comfortable in since my transition to a Death Knight. I don’t care what some people say, we are not truly welcomed among the living regardless of what they might say to your face. There is always that thought in the back of a living person’s mind that this Death Knight in front of them might go berserker at any moment, which is no longer the case. We do control our own thoughts and actions in absence of the Lich King, Arthas.

One of the reasons that I am writing right now is that I think that my sister, Faendra, has been up to no good again. Anytime she walks around with a big grin on her face and gloating about some inner secret, it usually spells trouble for someone. Light, I hope that she hasn’t started manipulating poor Dawnglory again, the poor fellow is suffering enough with his beloved and children missing. It’s been a while since I have seen her act like this and it causes me some concern. Usually when she has been up to something, she gives herself away by her actions and deeds, however, this time, I can’t figure it out.

Ty has been busy with his jewelry making and I swear he gets more creative as the years go by. He has some wonderful pieces that should fetch a good price at the jewelers in Silvermoon City. Very elegant looking with a lot of gold wire keeping the stones entwined in their settings – unique looking. I still love the rings he made for us – all carved Jade that he did himself and they fit perfectly. Elegant, not ostentatious.

Oh, we haven’t turned into total farmers here in Halfhill, we still go to the Rangers’ camp in Krasarang and go out on patrols with them. Of course, there isn’t as much action as there once was back in the day when we had freshly arrived. We still run into the occasional renegades and a few Alliance interlopers from time to time, which keeps us occupied.

I don’t know if we will ever get pulled away from our happy unlife here in Pandaria, however, we own the farm and if we do have to leave there will be people to help us take care of it.

Oh well, I suppose I should stop rambling on here and get busy trying to cook something for dinner, hmmm, my cooking skills have improved considerably and I haven’t blown up the kitchen in the last six months. See, I can learn!

Felaran Morningstar

Life Is Just Not Fair…

July 1st

Dear Journal,

I have spent most of my life chasing after a man that lead me on and really didn’t care about me at all and it’s finally hit me that I have wasted the best years of my life chasing a dream that wasn’t shared with the other party.  I know that I have alienated friends and family over the years with my pursuit and obsession with this one man and it has finally crossed my mind that I am really wasting my time and making a fool of myself. I have literally thrown away all that is good in my life with chasing this dream of mine and I have nothing to show for it – no friends, no lovers and no fulfilled dream of marriage.

Yeah, I’m sitting here in Halfhill trying to drink myself into oblivion because I am sorry for myself and angry with myself for being such a fool for all of these years.   Yes, I came to Pandaria to get my man back from that harlot and I’m finding it more difficult to convince myself that it is even a possibility.   I have been spending all of my off-time in Halfhill in hopes that Dawnglory will show back up and I can get him to talk to me or maybe a bit more than just talk.

Yesterday I was in the market and I saw his woman doing some shopping.   At first I didn’t really recognize her because she has gotten rather large – a kid balanced on her hip and another one in her belly.  There is no doubt in my mind whom the children belong too because although I have tried to dig up dirt on her, there wasn’t any to be found that I could positive proof that she is playing around.  How she could let herself get knocked-up and have Dawnglory take off to this new place where they are sending all of the Rangers that worth their salt.   Well, maybe that’s her way of trapping him and keeping him because she knows that he wants a family to call his own – I hope that they are going to be his at least.

I’m sure that I could go there if I wanted too, however, I am not in the mood to do that right now.  I’m just marking my time and hoping that I don’t get orders to go there anytime soon.  I came to Pandaria to try to trap the man that I love and he slipped out of my reach within just a few weeks of my arrival.  Now, I’m obligated to fulfill my time with the Rangers here – that means no social life for me in Silvermoon and no real attachment to anyone here.

I know that I haven’t heard anything from my brother directly in months since he went to Draenor, however, I keep getting messages from that Zippie in Orgrimmar from time to time.  She is still expecting me to make arrangements to get to Orgrimmar and pick up contracts and possibly fill them – she doesn’t seem to realize whom she is dealing with.  After all, my brother is the owner the company and I should be respected for that and not be treated like just some other plebian worker.    I am a woman of good family and means – that means she should show respect to her betters.  Goblins only think of one thing and that is money – which is why she wants me to do these things here in Pandaria – the money is good though, I suppose I should relent and do some of them.

I’m still sitting here and drinking, thinking about all of the things that might have been or should have been and I can’t see why things didn’t work out the way that I had planned.  I should be the one walking around with that kid on my hip and one in my belly, not that upstart.  I mean, Dawnglory and I had a thing going that might have worked out if she hadn’t seduced him before I had a chance to do so.  Yes, she’s pretty, she’s educated and I’ve heard tell that she is from a good family, however, it’s not one that I have ever been in direct contact with and I can’t say that I had heard of them until this woman took my man away.  Who knows, it could just be one of those paid for family lineage things that some of the new money will try to pull off in Silvermoon.

Well, I’m going to stop trying to write because I am starting to feel like it’s futile and I’m getting sick on my stomach because the page seems to be moving all of the time.  I should head back to my farm – yeah, I got one not far from Dawnglory’s place and get some rest.  I’ll be busy for the next week with my duties with the Rangers, hunting down more deserters and trying to make some Night Elves unhappy again.

Faendra Morningstar

 

Is It Too Late To Start Over…

January 7th

Dear Journal,

Well, damn it!!  Here I have spent the last year of my life making my way to Pandaria so that I could get back with Dawnglory and he’s gone again!!  Now, I’m stuck with the Rangers, which I don’t like and now I am stuck with a military obligation that is going to keep me from getting what I have wanted my whole life and it just isn’t fair.  Now, I find out that even my stinking brother is gone from Silvermoon and I was going to ask him to buy me out of the Rangers so that I don’t have to stay here anymore.

Of course, everyone in Halfhill is talking about the people leaving and the ones that are staying behind.  One person I’m seeing staying behind with their brat is Dawnglory’s woman.  She looks like she’s getting fat from sitting on her butt at the farm, wonder who’s doing all of the work now that he’s gone?  I was going to try to make friends with her just so I could find out when Dawnglory’s going to be back, however, I can’t even stomach that thought right now.

All of my plans are down the drain and I’m stuck up here with all of these drunk bears, the Rangers and whatever else the military might decide for me to do.  I tried to talk to my sister at Winter Veil when we were in Shattrath and she told me to shut up and that I only had gotten what I deserved for being deceitful and selfish.  Who the heck does she think she is?    I know her husband or whatever he is overheard it all and he just walked away as if there was nothing going on.   She has no right to say anything about what I’ve done, it’s her fault that our parents are dead because she ran off to be with that guy and they got killed looking for her.  Maybe I should bring that up sometime?

I’ve sent a letter to that Zippie and I hope that she will forward it on to Fnor so that he can make arrangements to buy me out of the service.  I don’t like it and I was only playing along with it because it would get me closer to Dawnglory and if he’s gone from Pandaria, what is to keep me here in the service, not a damned thing. I hope he still isn’t angry with me.

I had planned on talking with my brother at Winter Veil when I was in Nagrand, however, he wasn’t there and it’s doubtful that his wife would want to help me out.  I didn’t even try to ask her about it and with the way that Felaran reacted, I was almost afraid too.  I don’t think that all of the things that I have done should be held against me.  I had my reasons and now that reason has moved again, damn him.

I know I probably can’t start over in Silvermoon again, I’ve burned too many bridges there with some of the so-called friends that I had, however, they have always liked my money, so, maybe there is a chance that I can start over again.  I don’t know, I’m so confused right now. Now, I just have to find some new direction.

Should I put Dawnglory behind me and think about getting involved with someone else?  I can’t, he has been the main focus of my life for so long that I think that I would be lost without that.  Everything that I have ever done or planned for has been with him in mind.  Even if Felaran said that I selfish, she also said that I was obsessed with a man that could care less about what happens to me.   I think that she’s wrong, I think that he does care about me and that my brother won’t allow him to have anything to do with me, It’s his fault, not mine.   He’s only with this woman now because of his daughter and I bet that if I could get him alone, I’d be able to give him a son one day, which is more important to carry on his name.   I still want to make that happen and it will happen if I just keep trying, now, I can’t even try because he’s in that other place.

 

Faendra Morningstar

 

Oh, He Will Be Mine…

November 23rd

Dear Journal,

Well, I finally got some much needed time off for good behavior – that’s truly a joke, it just amounted to some major sucking up and trying to act like I was happy with what I was doing.  I have been in Pandaria for several months and haven’t had any time off due to the fact that I have had personality conflicts with some of my peers, not really my peers, and some of the higher ups.  Who would have thought that they expected more of me because of my brother’s reputation.  I’m not my brother and I doubt that I will be stupid enough to stay in the Rangers as long as he has either.

I got to head into Halfhill and I have been just hanging around in the market place trying to find out what information I can about Dawnglory.  Yes, he does live here and he does have a woman and a baby, which I already knew, however, people aren’t really all that forthcoming with the exact location of his farm.  Somehow, thinking of my beautiful Sindorei digging in the dirt just doesn’t fit with what I know of him.  He’s too sophisticated for that sort of thing, however, being with that woman might have changed some of his ideals and his pride too.  I have the next five days off and if I have to travel down every lane and goat path, I’ll do that too because I will find him and I will talk to him and tell him what a mistake he is making with his life.

I have also heard the rumors of this new problem that has developed in the Blasted Lands and I hope that they don’t yank my unit out of Pandaria and ship us off there.  If they do try to do that, I will be resigning or buying my way out so that I can stay here in Pandaria until I make that man see reason and marry me.  I have some money of my own saved up, plus, I don’t think that my brother will hold a grudge long enough to refuse me some help if I ask for it and it concerns his best friend too.   I’m just marking my time and waiting for the right moment to talk to him.  I know he’s here and I know that he and that woman frequent the market with their brat too, so, I’ll just sit here and bide my time until I see that golden-haired man that I know so well makes his appearance.

No, I am not happy being here in the role that I had to take in order to get here.  I’m not meant for the orders and all of the rules that are put into place to make it a more military group and I’m sure not ready to settle down to having to share a tent with a whole bunch of other women.   I’m not keen on the idea that I only have a footlocker to keep my personal belongings in and it has to stay locked all of the time to keep the peasants from stealing from me.  My gowns are probably ruined from being stuffed into that trunk for so long and it is going to make me very angry if they are.  Well, maybe not too angry since I know that they are probably out of fashion now since they are last season’s styles.

If I wasn’t so determined to talk to Dawnglory, I would have gone back to Silvermoon to see some of my friends and to see if I still have access to the house that my brother gave me.  I know that I am not really welcomed at the main house because of those stupid goblins living there that my brother seems to like better than he does his own sister.  Well, that’s what happens when you’re not really blood-related, I suppose.

I have seen Felaran a couple of times since I have been in Pandaria and even went to her house for dinner one night, which was kind of weird because she and her “husband” are both Death Knights.  The food was good and I thought that it was really nice that they would think to even have a good wine to serve with it.   I guess that Ty is the one that cooked the meal because Felaran still can’t cook stuff without destroying it.  It seems odd to have her living with a man here in Pandaria, however, I guess even Death Knights have some softer feelings too.

I like Fel’s “husband”, even if they aren’t really married, they just say that they are and even have rings to show.  I know that they couldn’t’ get married in Silvermoon or under the auspices of that law=minded group.  They just decided they were married.   Ty is an odd fellow, a bit on the quiet side sometimes, however, he is totally devoted to that cat of his, which is really odd.  He also makes some beautiful pieces of jewelry which kind of surprised me because I wouldn’t think that a real man cold make suck delicate pieces.  He showed me some of the jewelry that he was sending back to Silvermoon to sell and I was definitely awestruck, maybe he will be kind enough to give me some of the pieces some day.  Oh, I could buy them,  I suppose. However,  why should I spend money if he is willing to give it to me in the name of “family” helping family?  I think that it’s rather ironic that he looks very much like our brother and that sometimes he sounds like him – that dark mane of hair, those startling blue eyes and that voice make me feel a bit chilled and excited at the same time.  Fel seems to be very much in love with him and I hope that she is happy and that they can keep that act up for a long time too.

I already know that I am going to be telling Dawnglory all of the benefits of being with someone like me rather than that woman.  I’m educated, I have my own money and access to the Morningstar monies, if my brother has changed his orders at the banks, and I am also a lot younger than that woman is.  She’s older and has lived most of her life like an animal in Northrend.  Well, maybe he likes that pack mentality, however, it doesn’t go over well in Silvermoon where people have to at least some idea of the social norms.  I suppose with him living in the wilds as a Ranger has left him open to the idea that it’s okay to have a person act more like an animal that a real person.  I tried to talk to his sister about the way that he is living with this woman and she won’t talk to me anymore because I wasn’t all sunshine and nice about the fact that I think he is ruining his life.

I know that he and my brother still have some of their friends that are still Krasarang and I can’t believe how tight-lipped they are with any information in regard to Dawnglory.  It’s almost like they are in league trying to protect him for some reason or other.  Maybe it’s some kind of special code of theirs, however, I am not about to try to buck that system too much, it cost me enough time trying to do that and getting stuck at camp for weeks unless I was on patrol with some of those other people.  One of the guys let it slip that he thought that Dawnglory was already married – well, I found out that that is a joke because I contacted the Magisters offices in Silvermoon and after several days of waiting, there is no record of a marriage posted in their files for him.  Even if he does get married, that is no reason for me to stop trying to steal him away.  It makes little difference to me because I know that he belongs with me and not her.

Sitting in this Inn and staring out towards the market is really quite entertaining for a while, however, I am starting to get rather bored.  I suppose I should go out and see if I can find my man instead of sitting here in hopes that he will show up.  I know that he probably doesn’t visit the Inn very often these days with that woman and baby holding him back, it’s not like the old days when he could come and go a he wishes.   I would have never thought in a million years that my wild and headstrong Sindorei would become a domesticated being instead of what has always been a part of his nature. I think I’ll go out and see if I can find someone that might be more informative as to where Dawnglory lives, maybe a little gold in their hand might make them remember.

Fae

 

 

 

Why Do I Have To Change?

June 18th

Dear Journal,

I am so angry that I could cry and I don’t that anyone would care.  I just got back from getting a dressing down by that peasant of a Commander in Krasarang that told me that I needed to shape up and get with the program with the rest of the Rangers or I could leave.  And…and, the only reason that I haven’t been kicked out yet is because of the fact that I am related to Commander Morningstar and they expected much more from me due to that relationship. I’m not my adopted brother, whatever he is known for is not of my doing and I surely would not be able to come up with his career as a Ranger, get real people!!

So, now I have two weeks to show them that I am truly Ranger material or I will get shipped back to Silvermoon in disgrace.  Yes, I said Silvermoon.  It seems that my brother has been writing to some of his friends here in Krasarang and if I happen to wash out, I will be returned to his “custody” – what the heck does that mean, I’m a woman fully grown and I sure don’t need to be escorted back to Silvermoon in shame and to be married off to some fop there. With the current situation being what it is with my brother and I, I don’t think that it would be a good idea.

I thought about packing up my stuff and heading out on my own, however, I found out what the penalties are for desertion and I don’t think that is something that I want to endure.  Prison for years, possible hard labor and then, the final one was a real curtailment – “in times of war, a deserter will be tried and sentenced to death” – well, I think we’re still at war, so, that’s not an option.

I’ve gotten myself into a fine mess and I have no one to fall back on for support.  I can’t ask my brother to help because of the way that I left and I owe him quite a bit of money, not to mention, I am not going to apologize for running away and trying to find the man that I love in this Light Forsaken place either.

I was told that I needed to adjust my attitude towards my comrades and start doing my share of the menial chores and if that means cleaning the latrines, so be it, do it and don’t make a fuss about it because it is beneath me – which it is.  I am supposed to be cooperative with my commanders and I am supposed to make friends with the other Rangers in order to build better team cohesion.  Well, okay, I can fake being friends, that’s not the problem, however, this cooperation thing is going to take some work and I don’t see why I have to do it.  It’s like they are trying to make an example of me and I think that is unfair.

Well, I do know that I am tired of not getting any time off so that I can go to the Valley of Four Winds and try to find Dawnglory.  If I do what I am supposed to do and cooperate with everyone and everything, I should get some time off next week – I plan on getting two days off so I can get to the Valley and look around.  I have visited the place, that Halfhill place once since my arrival but it was such a quick trip, I couldn’t find out anything at all and I was with a group of other Rangers picking up supplies.  I thought I saw that woman of Dawnglory’s, however, I’m not sure but she had a brat in her arms that I might assume is theirs. I’ve never met her before, I can only go by the descriptions of the red hair, wide hips and the fact that she used to be a Ranger before she bought her way out with Dawnglory and she works for my brother now too.

I don’t think that I need to really “change” the way that I think or how I feel about things, I just have to learn how to mask my feelings a bit more.  Now, I have to suck up to these other girls and make them think that I was just in a bad mood all of this time and that I am really friendly.  Oh, I don’t know how well that is going to work out either because I have been pretty nasty to a couple of the more popular ones that live in my tent. I know that I am on a totally different social plane than most of these people and I resent having to step down to their level, which is something I would never do in Silvermoon.  I know I have the breeding and I did have the wealth to back me up when I was living on Fnor’s money, now, I have to make do with what I was able to scrounge and what I make as a Ranger, which is next to nothing.

I think that I saw one of the Forsaken that works for my brother snooping around the camp today and I did all that I could to avoid her.  Also, I have seen Felaran’s boyfriend here too.  What is this place, the central gathering spot for people that want to check out other people?  If Ty finds out that I am here, I’m sure that he will tell Felaran and then the trouble will really start because I know her temper and she won’t be pleased that I have lied and cheated my way to Pandaria to begin with.

Faendra Morningstar

 

I Don’t Need This Right Now…

*Some swearing and blunt language – if this sort of thing offends you, please don’t read this.*

 

June 5th

Dear Journal,

I am so angry with Tylanlor right now that I could just spit.  Well, that made me feel better after I did spit, however, it’s just something else for me to clean up now.

Why in the hell would he think that he was protecting me by not telling me that my sister is here in Pandaria?  If I could get my hands on her neck right now, she’s probably be a corpse because I am pretty angry with her too.   My stupid brother thought that things were settling down and that she was going to be just “fine” in Silvermoon.  I could have and did tell him that he was wrong and I am sure that his wife told him the same thing.

Faendra is not like the rest of us, I don’t care what anyone says.   She has turned into someone that I don’t think that I even want to know but I have too because she’s my sister.  Her obsession with Dawnglory has gone beyond all boundaries of sanity – she truly needs to get her head looked at or her mental deck reshuffled because what she is doing is wrong, totally wrong.  When I do finally catch up with her I do fully intend on putting my plate boot up her skinny arse as well as my fist in her face.  I’ve never struck her before, however, I think that it is long overdue because she has caused this family enough grief with her idiocy.

Dawnglory is happy with Romy and his baby girl.  He doesn’t want some selfish little bitch from Silvermoon to show up and try to ruin things for him.   He has already told Faendra in the past that he thinks of her as a sister, nothing more.   There might have been some flirtation on his part at one point, however, Fae isn’t bright enough to know what being flirted with is all about.  I know she made our last Christmas Veil miserable,  the last time that the whole family was together,  because she expected Dawnglory to ask her to marry him or something or give her  a ring – well, he had no intentions of dong that, I knew that and so did Fnor.  This all took place before she ran away from Orgrimmar – silly stupid girl.

I’m really happy that I am a Death Knight and I don’t have to deal with all of the social bullshit in Silvermoon.   I can do whatever I want and if they don’t like it, they can kiss my cold dead behind, at least Ty likes it.  Anyway, she has killed any of her chances of doing anything for herself in Silvermoon now after running off this time – she’s used goods as far as everyone is concerned or at least too insane for any family of any importance to want to have to deal with her.  I hope she’s fucking happy with that bit of news when it finally registers in her little pea brain.

Well, I hope she’s happy because she’s already causing trouble for people that know her and I haven’t laid eyes on her yet.  I shouldn’t have thrown that bowl of noodles at Ty because he and FuzzButt took off for parts unknown and I should go find him.  He was only doing what he thought was right – he’s still learning things about how to deal with people issues.  I think I saw tears in his blue eyes before he ducked out the door – I know I hurt his feelings badly by screaming at him like some kind of banshee. I need to go find him and apologize and explain to him why I got so upset and let him know that I don’t need that kind of protection – it’s a family thing and I am adult enough to deal with it.

I bet I know where he went because he always goes there when he’s upset.  He’s at the Jade Temple talking to the bears or fishing or watching the training.  I’ll find him and make it right between the two of us – our first argument of any merit and it has to be over my dumbass sister.

I did fire off a letter to Fnor to let him know that we know where Faendra is and that we’re going to go ahead and warn Dawnglory if he doesn’t already know about it.  News travels fast amongst the Blood Elf community up here and I am sure that someone has already been pounding on his door to let him know that some lunatic is looking for him.

 

Felaran Morningstar 

Listening and Learning…

June 1st

 

Dear Journal,

Well, I think my suspicions have been born out when I thought that Felaran’s youngest sister was in Pandaria.   I was working with another squad of new recruits today and there was a discussion going on that I happened to overhear.   When I am out with recruits, I normally will turn a deaf ear to the conversations because they aren’t applicable to what it is that I am supposedly doing there  – I am there primarily to protect the lot and make sure that some of them don’t die of stupid.  It’s nice running with some of them, the more experienced Rangers that actually attended the training prior to signing on the dotted line and getting sent to Pandaria.

What really got me interested was the fact that some of the women in the group were complaining about a certain redhead that just seemed to think that the world revolved around her wants and needs and her absolute refusal to do some of the more menial tasks.   Then the name came out – Morningstar – yep, that’s what I had been waiting to hear and not be too obvious about it.   Felaran is going to be so upset when she gets back from her patrols and I tell her what I have overheard.  I’m surprised that Faendra hasn’t had an accident befall her since her arrival either because her comrades don’t seem to care for her attitude all that much either.  Not real surprising there.  I think that I will go ahead and tell Felaran when she gets home and let her make the decision as to whether she wants to get in touch with her brother – it might behoove him to step in and have her moved to another camp or to get her removed from the Rangers like he has a few others in the past.  Not my decision to make.

I will admit that being a Death Knight at times has some advantages because some people seem to think that it has affected our hearing and our mental capabilities.  I’m sure that it has on some of us, however, I don’t happen to be one of them.   I  know that sometimes people will talk rather freely in front of me without giving it much thought – I suppose that’s a true fault of the living, they believe that their assumptions of a situation are all that there is.  Of course, I know that these recruits talk quite freely around me and I think that it’s because of the fact that some of them are totally ignorant anyway, plus, I sometimes do act as if I were dimwitted.  I think that that I have caught up on all of the gossip that may have been going on with this group when they were last in Silvermoon.

Felaran and I are still diligently working on the farm and with the help of the Cloudhoof clan, our house is very livable.  No leaky roof, no issues with things creeping into the house uninvited, which didn’t happen often anyway, they don’t seem to like the coldness that we Death Knights can generate on a moment’s notice.   I know that’s one of Felaran’s favorite things to do as well as letting me know that she isn’t in the mood for any amorous advances on my part, she just turns up the frost a bit.  The only one that the cooler temperatures doesn’t seem to affect is FuzzButt, he just snuggles down deeper in the furs or gets in the pillows for that added heat.

Tylanlor  Ravencrest