Mending Fences and more…


September 28th

 

Dear Journal,

I am sitting here quite amused and actually still kind of chuckling while I sit here at my workbench working on some of the jewelry I want to sell when I go back to Orgrimmar.  One thing that Felaran has taught me that I don’t think I will ever for is to teach me how to have a real sense of humor about some of the craziest things.

Okay, I know that Felaran and Faendra have been on the outs for a while due to all of the stuff that Faendra has chosen to do to almost completely burn the bridges with her family, however, they are still sisters by blood even if Felaran is a Death Knight, they are still related whether Faendra wants to admit to it or not is her problem.   I’ve watched these two dance around and take verbal shots at one another for the last few months whenever we meet and I just jokingly said that we ought to have Faendra over for dinner at the farm, you know, just to mend the fences a bit and to ease the tension in the family a little bit.

We all know and agree that Felaran is not real domestic when it comes to cooking and while we can eat the stuff, we’re dead and it won’t kill us, I’m not so sure that the living are quite ready for some of her dishes.  I had planned on cooking the meal and making sure that the food was at least eatable because I’m a better cook than Fel is anyway, bless her frozen heart.  No, no and no, Felaran was not going to hear anything of it, she was planning on cooking the meal herself and I think that that her intentions were honorable even if she willingly admits that she is no cook.   I am glad that we’re not using Felaran’s cooking as any kind of diplomatic message that we’d like to send to Warchief, we might never be able to go into Orgrimmar again.

Anyway, I did make the suggestion that she make up her menu before the dinner was planned and at least do a run through with it to make sure that she was pleased with the end results.  She still has to to coerce her sister into coming to dinner before we get too carried away though.  If they can stop hissing at one another long enough to get in a civil conversation, we might have a dinner party in the near future.

I know that I have probably said this before when I was writing but I will say it again.  I am extremely happy that I met Felaran and she has taught me how to enjoy this unlife with the living.  If it weren’t for her, I would probably be my old silent self and mopping about the changes in my life.  I’ve never been angry about it, just a bit peeved that my life had been cut short and I think I might have been enjoying myself as a Ranger too.  There are times that I yearn to hold a bow in my hands and feel that magic when you release the arrow for a true shot.   Oh well, those days are long past and I know that I will never pass that way again but it is one of the few memories that I have of the past that truly pleases me to some level.

Since the magistrates in Silvermoon have refused to allow us to be married in the true sense, Fel and I have done the next best thing.  We went to one of the temples here in Pandaria, explained our plight to the monk that we met inside and he performed a ritual of some kind that we’re not quite sure what it was but at the end he did say that he pronounced us man and wife.   So, Silvermoon may not recognize it but we do and that’s all that matters and maybe one day the bureaucrats will get their heads out of their rectal orifices to realize that we may be unliving, however, we are still people that should count in their little society.   So, Felaran is really Felaran Ravencrest, however, she is going to keep using her maiden name, which is really fine with me. It doesn’t matter to me which name she uses as long as she continues to be happy with me.

We were going to take some time away from the farm and decided at the last minute that we can put that off for a while because we both have a lot of contracts that are due in and we would much rather have the money at this point so that we can finish up with a few things on the farm at Halfhill.

 

Ty Ravencrest

A Death Knight’s Wandering Mind…


July 13th

Dear Journal,

I know that I am really sitting here just kind of giggling at my beloved Felaran and her chattering away about her family.  There have been times that I have regretted not being able to remember much about my past life, however, I think sometimes it is a blessing in disguise.  I do have flashbacks from time to time but they are mostly garbled and don’t make much sense to me.  I’m happy that I don’t have my hands full with family issues and things because it does seem as though there is a lot energy wasted in that arena without much positive feedback from the targeted people.

Yes, Faendra is definitely here in Pandaria and I did tell Felaran that and I think that she was hoping that I was mistaken, however, I was pretty sure I wasn’t in the wrong there.  I guess she saw the little git at the market place in Halfhill and she ran away from her – that was bound to happen and Fel is extremely angry with her right now.

I am so bad, I ‘m doing the thing that a lot of people do.  I’m sitting here working on some of my gem cutting and putting together some nice pieces for sale as I listen to Fel talk in the background.  I think I do the appropriate head nod and the occasional responses seem to be working out okay, however, I am not really paying that close attention to what is really being said.  This might bite me in the backside eventually, however, right now, I’d much rather work on my jewelry rather than getting involved in the family issues.

Fuzzbutt and I have been busy doing our fishing thing and relaxing when we’re not working on the farm and I’m not on duty.  Kind of nice to be able to take a break from things and just waste time, it’s not like I don’t have a whole lot of time in my life now or in the future.   I know that Fel gets a little bit upset with me sometimes because I am one of those people that can very easily lose track of time without really trying.

Earlier today, it’s my day off in truth, Fuzz and I went to the Jade Temple and spent a great deal of time there just fishing and I had some laundry that I needed to take care of for the two of us too.  I know it’s kind of silly of me to enjoy my cat as much as I do with my little cat.  I like to watch him run and chase down butterflies, it makes me laugh when he takes these flying leaps in hopes of actually catching one – sometimes he gets lucky, however, most of the time he ends up splashing into the water here at the Temple and has this look of “I meant to do that” plastered all over his water soaked face. Naturally, I do try to hide my laughter so as not to insult his dignity.  Fel tells me that I am attributing too many “feelings” to the cat, however, I disagree – animals have feelings just like most of us bipeds.

I know that I wonder at some of the people here in Pandaria.  Some of them are very ignorant about things.  Well, especially ignorant of Death Knights – we may be dead, however, we aren’t exactly all brain damaged to the point of being one step above the mindless  scourge.  I was sitting in our camp in the Jade Forest the other day when I overheard a conversation about more political intrigue going on – I am great at listening in and garnering information.   I know about the things going on in Orgrimmar even if I have been fortunate enough to avoid being put in the middle of it.  People tend to talk more freely around me because I appear to be more of the silent type of Death Knight and maybe they think that I am too “dead” to really comprehend anything of any importance.  Oh, they are so wrong in that area.

I know that Fel and I are oath bound to the Horde, however, our hearts are still very much bound to Silvermoon and the Regent, which will override the oath to the Horde that seems to be determined to destroy itself internally.  Garrosh is still making the mistake of putting his precious Orcs ahead of all of the other races in the Horde and driving more of his other supporting further away.  I know that the Blood Elves put in the cursory appearance, however, the treatment that I have heard about with the Tauren seems like the fool is trying to drive them away as well.   I know about the guards in Orgrimmar surrounding the Trolls confined there, however, the way that the guards are now crossing over into the Horde section is something that bothers me more than a little bit.

The whole fiasco of how Garrosh came into power in the first place has always been disgraceful in my eyes, however, I can understand why Baine has aligned his people with the Horde anyway.  A united front always presents a better offensive and defensive force in any military action, however, with the way that Garrosh is doing things right now, he’s alienating all the races from his support with the exception of his pure Orcs.

I know that some of the Ranger recruits that I am working with were voicing their opinions the other day about the fact that we may have an option to change our allegiance to the Alliance.   I’m not so sure that that is a good idea at this juncture.  They seem to have forgotten the betrayals that have occurred in the past with the same group of people.  Even the Forsaken have been betrayed in the past with that group.  I’m not so sure that the Blood Elf society would be better off forming this kind of Alliance.  I kept my mouth shut and kept my thoughts to myself, however, I didn’t like the discussion or the reasons why they felt that the Alliance would better serve our race.  We would be considered an expendable group of people and that is totally not how I would like us to be viewed by either faction.   Have these youngsters even given a thought to what happened at Theramore and the aftermath in Dalaran?  I think not.

From my own political view, my personal feelings anyway, I think that we’re doing the right thing in keeping our alignment within the Horde, however, we’re taking the lead from the Regent rather than from Garrosh.  We have been used for cannon fodder too many times in the past with both factions.  If our race is to survive, we need to keep things as they are right now – align with the Horde, however, keep it in your mind to follow the direction of the Regent.  It’s a risky game that we’re playing because there may come a time where Garrosh may decide to turn against us too, you never know with that madman.  I did voice my opinion to Fel when I got home and explained to her what I had overheard at the camp, she agreed with me at least.  Anyway, it does cause the two of us some concerns about some of our plans for the future – we’re moving ahead with our plans, however, we are very guarded as to how far we extend ourselves.

So, while I am making jewelry for sale to make gold for the two of us, I am also stockpiling a lot of my materials and hiding it away.  You never know which way this crazy war is going to go and if we are going to be able to survive the political upheaval that it brings with it.  I think that Felaran realizes what I am doing and she just kind of turns her head to it or chooses to avoid the thoughts.  I am trying to make it so that if another thing happens like Dalaran that we aren’t left totally unable to support ourselves in whatever future society happens along.  I have to laugh at myself because I have a feeling that some of this hoarding away of things may stem from my past, even if I don’t remember it.  I don’t think that we will ever have another Lich like Arthas, however, you never know what kind of power might befall us.  I know that Fel has been talking about going to Shattrath lately to check out the new warehouse facilities there, so, there may be an area where I can stash some of this stuff too.

Since Shattrath is the only neutral city left on Azeroth I don’t think that it would be a mistake on my part to start planting the seeds in Fel’s head that we might want to start looking at finding a place to live there in case we are driven away from Pandaria by some unforeseen event.

My goodness, my brain is wandering around today too.  I’m dwelling on the past and trying design plans for a future that hasn’t happened yet, however, I do want to be prepared just in case.   I do have a serious side to my personality, however, I do prefer the more fun side  – enough of this drivel, Ty – get back to work and finish up this contract for the matching earrings and necklace that I’ve promised to get to Zippie in Silvermoon next week.

Tylanlor 

Listening and Learning…


June 1st

 

Dear Journal,

Well, I think my suspicions have been born out when I thought that Felaran’s youngest sister was in Pandaria.   I was working with another squad of new recruits today and there was a discussion going on that I happened to overhear.   When I am out with recruits, I normally will turn a deaf ear to the conversations because they aren’t applicable to what it is that I am supposedly doing there  – I am there primarily to protect the lot and make sure that some of them don’t die of stupid.  It’s nice running with some of them, the more experienced Rangers that actually attended the training prior to signing on the dotted line and getting sent to Pandaria.

What really got me interested was the fact that some of the women in the group were complaining about a certain redhead that just seemed to think that the world revolved around her wants and needs and her absolute refusal to do some of the more menial tasks.   Then the name came out – Morningstar – yep, that’s what I had been waiting to hear and not be too obvious about it.   Felaran is going to be so upset when she gets back from her patrols and I tell her what I have overheard.  I’m surprised that Faendra hasn’t had an accident befall her since her arrival either because her comrades don’t seem to care for her attitude all that much either.  Not real surprising there.  I think that I will go ahead and tell Felaran when she gets home and let her make the decision as to whether she wants to get in touch with her brother – it might behoove him to step in and have her moved to another camp or to get her removed from the Rangers like he has a few others in the past.  Not my decision to make.

I will admit that being a Death Knight at times has some advantages because some people seem to think that it has affected our hearing and our mental capabilities.  I’m sure that it has on some of us, however, I don’t happen to be one of them.   I  know that sometimes people will talk rather freely in front of me without giving it much thought – I suppose that’s a true fault of the living, they believe that their assumptions of a situation are all that there is.  Of course, I know that these recruits talk quite freely around me and I think that it’s because of the fact that some of them are totally ignorant anyway, plus, I sometimes do act as if I were dimwitted.  I think that that I have caught up on all of the gossip that may have been going on with this group when they were last in Silvermoon.

Felaran and I are still diligently working on the farm and with the help of the Cloudhoof clan, our house is very livable.  No leaky roof, no issues with things creeping into the house uninvited, which didn’t happen often anyway, they don’t seem to like the coldness that we Death Knights can generate on a moment’s notice.   I know that’s one of Felaran’s favorite things to do as well as letting me know that she isn’t in the mood for any amorous advances on my part, she just turns up the frost a bit.  The only one that the cooler temperatures doesn’t seem to affect is FuzzButt, he just snuggles down deeper in the furs or gets in the pillows for that added heat.

Tylanlor  Ravencrest 

Learning To Care…


May 24th

Dear Journal,

After returning from one of our many trips out into the Jade Forest with some of the newer and I might also mention untrained recruits that have come our way to introduce to the perils of Pandaria, I thought that I saw Felaran’s sister amongst the group that I was traveling with – however, there are quite a few redheads, this one stood out because she was too busy pouting about the filth and the uncouth way that the Rangers she was with were conducting themselves.  Sure did sound like her, all haughty and full of angst.  I honestly don’t think that I will mention it to Fel just yet, I’ll wait to see what happens in the next few days because I am sure that I will be getting assigned to them again – why me, well, my temperament is such that I am considered a bit easy going for a Death Knight.  Fel’s temper seems to flare with some of the new people and I guess that it’s best that I take on the duty rather than have her going on after we go home about how stupid some of these people can be.

I guess Fel is still disappointed as I am about the fact that even if we wanted to get married, the authorities in Silvermoon have turned down our applications because we’re “dead” and unable to reproduce an heir to our family name.  Well, hello, we just wanted a piece of paper that would tell the world that we’re together, not that we were going to be going at it like bunnies to make babies – we do go at it quite a bit because we can, however, we’re just as happy with raising FuzzButt as our child, even if he is a cat.  We may be part of the unliving of this world, however, that doesn’t mean that we have no feelings for one another and would have liked to formalize it in some way.   I honestly think that if we had more gold between us, some coins could have crossed hands and we would have that piece of paper now, however, Fel’s temper got the best of her and I don’t think that a Magister has been called as many names in such a short amount of time either – poor fellow was turning various shades of red that almost went to purple a few times.   Maybe we can try again in a few weeks after the tempers have cooled down a little bit more and maybe I’ll suggest that I do the talking this time.

I made our wedding rings – very intricate jade pieces with the runes of our blades carved delicately into each one – hers on mine and mine on hers – we thought that it would make for some interesting topics of conversation as well as showing that we’re not ashamed of what we are either.  Death Knights are indeed a special breed and we know it – there is no harm in taking pride in it any longer, it wasn’t a choice that we willingly made anyway.

Oh, I do wish that some of the living could share some of the feelings that we have sometimes.  There is nothing more fulfilling or as loving with Death Knights to be in a battle, shoulder to shoulder, our Rune Blades singing in harmony as we cut down our foes – the feelings that we both get from that is more akin to what some of the living have to wait for some very intimate and intense moments  – we take joy in our work like no other sentient being can or ever will have the ability to do so.  When that Blades hunger to be fed and that appetite is quenched, there is nothing more gratifying to the two of us – we gain that feeling of peace and we also gain a lot more between the two of us.  I wish that I had the words to explain how it feels because until Fel and I started working together, I never felt that before.  It is akin to having sex and not at the same time.

I suppose some would find it odd that Death Knights are capable of loving – we are.  It’s not the same as it would be with the living, however, there are times that I wonder if it isn’t more intense in a lot of ways.  I know that Fel has taught me so much about being “alive” again than I would have ever found out about on my own  – I tended to stay to myself to avoid the stigma that some of my brethren have brought upon us through no fault of their own.  To say that she has taught me how to “live” again is just something that has happened – I now have emotions that I thought were lost to me, they make me feel more alive and more in touch with the living than I have had since the day I became aware of the killing machine that I have become.

Yes, I get a lot of teasing from people about my cat, FuzzButt, and that’s okay.  He’s taught me how to be more gentle and caring with the smaller things in life.  I learned how to make him purr and I have learned how to play again.  I’m not sure that I knew much about playing when I was alive, however, playing with this little cat has taught me how to be gentle again, which I am sure that Felaran probably appreciates.

I still have thoughts flash through my mind of my past life – some of the evil that I had done – I also catch glimpses of what might have been my family in my past life.  I keep seeing an older couple in my thoughts that might have been my parents, I’m not sure.   Maybe the Lich King’s minions did the right thing in wiping our memories, however, I wonder how much of that was to make us more capable of killing everything in our paths while we were under his control and not feel the guilt that most of humanity would have felt, I don’t know.   I don’t think that I will ever understand all of the reasoning behind it.   There are times that I find myself rather envious of Felaran’s memories and her ability to have a family surrounding here while I have nothing to cling too of my past life.  Luckily, I suppose, she gives me the stability that I had been missing as well as erasing that loneliness that I had endured for so many years before I met her.   She has taught me what it means to love and care about someone again – this I will always be thankful for.

One of the things that I have started doing since we bought our farm is to produce more of the jewelry that people seem to like.  Rings, necklaces and some very delicate pieces that can only be described as home decorations.  I can take real joy and pride in my work as I see them getting sold almost as soon as I finish them.  Felaran always laughs and chuckles at me when she sees me with my face buried in my work, the delicate pieces keep my mind occupied with the way that they seem to almost tell me how to cut the stones or wrought the gold to embellish them.   At least at the farm, I have my own space for my workbench and Fel likes to come over and look at some of the pieces – she actually helped me design our wedding rings.  Oh yes, hers was definitely the harder of the two to make because it is so tiny, however, it is beautiful  – yes, we are going to wear them even if Silvermoon doesn’t recognize the fact that we’re man and wife, we do.

Oh yes, I did ask her brother for her hand in marriage and he gave his permission although I will have to admit that his facial expression gave away his feelings.  I suppose he never  thought that Death Knights could care for one another, however, we can and do.  That poor fellow has his own crosses to bear with his relationships too – his wife in another faction, his sons being raised in a different kind of race and will never be able to grace his home with their presence in Silvermoon unless they sneak in.  Love has its own way of torturing our souls, if we truly have them, and making us do the things that we do.  Even Death Knights know what it is to suffer the loss of friends.  Ah well, I wax nostalgic here and it’s just wasting time that I need to be spending on some work that I have been commissioned to do.

A crown?  Not a tiara, mind you, a crown that symbolizing some kind of royalty.  Ah well, if it’s a crown that this woman wants, it will be a crown that she will get, however, she is going to have to be forthcoming with some gold before I can truly start the heavy work on it.  That means another meeting in Silvermoon and another discussion of what she requires.  She actually makes me feel uneasy when we are talking, there is just an air around her that makes me feel that she isn’t what she presents to the public eye.

Some of the runes that she wants in her design make me feel extremely uncomfortable because it’s not something that I would think that a mage would have knowledge of.  No, I haven’t discussed this with Felaran although she is aware of the commission and the money forthcoming, however, she might be a bit put off with the way that this woman acts when she’s around me.  A few passes, a few hints and some blatant winks – no, I’m not interested in this living woman and I need to find a more diplomatic way in trying to make her understand that.

Ah well, time to head back to the Jade Forest and try to get some of the recruits to understand that they don’t have to kill everything in the forest all at once – or to lead them back to me to kill for them, that’s not my job.

Ty Ravencrest

 

 

 

More Fun Than I Expected…


Ty and FuzzButt Fishing in Halfhill

Ty and FuzzButt Fishing in Halfhill

April 25th

Dear Journal,

I know that I usually don’t say too much very often, however, there are times that I really need to start saying something.   I know that poor Felaran has her hands full with her family and I suppose that she is lucky in that regard because I know that I had one at some point, however, I can’t remember much about them.

I know that Fel and I really got lucky when we finally were able to buy the farm in Halfhill, however, a lot can be said for the house.  A lot needs to be said for the house. I guess the reason that the fellow lowered the price as much as he did was because the house was in dire need of repair and we specifically told him that we wanted a place to live – you know, a house with a roof and all of the trimmings.

When we’re not at our base camp in the Jade Forest, we’re here in Halfhill on our days off.  I knew that farming was a lot of hard work, however, I had no idea how hard it was either.   Now, when we’re not working out in the fields we’re trying our best to fix up the little house.   I said that it needed repairs and it definitely does that.

I kind of had the idea that the roof was going to leak when it rained and I was definitely proved correct in that assumption on more than one occasion.  At least we were cognizant enough to realize that we needed to store our stuff in a space where it didn’t just get soaking wet – nothing like a wet blanket to make things nice and cozy.  I told Fel that we needed to get a Pandaren that knew how to rethatch the roof because what I knew about that kind of project could easily get lost in a thimble.

Well, we found a fellow that would be willing to do the work, however, the cost was a bit prohibitive to us jumping right in there and having it done.  The fellow told us that we could get the cost down if we removed the old thatching which we thought was pretty good.

I can’t begin to tell you how many times that Fel and I have fallen off the roof or have put another hole in it when we stepped on a rotten piece of wood.  It’s a good thing that we’re already dead or we might have gone to meet our maker on more than one occasion.  I know that we were up on the roof the other day and I heard this loud scrapping, scrambling sounds and finally a wild scream as Fel went sliding off the roof and landed on her backside in a mud puddle next to the house.  I know that I shouldn’t have laughed, however, the look on her face was classic and the stream of verbal  abuse for said roof was more colorful than I’ve heard her even use out in the field when we’re on patrols.   It wasn’t too long after that when I found myself landing in the same puddle with her – damned Death Grip – you’re not supposed to do that to someone you love – she landed on her butt, I landed face first in the goo which prompted Felaran to go into gales of laughter.

Neither one of us is much of a carpenter and suffice it to say, it took several days for us to get everything off of the roof.  Not to mention that the weather was not our friend either because just when we were making some good headway on the project, here came the rain and the lightning.  Now, we’re both Death Knights, however, I think that we both are great lightning rods or something.  We had to redo quite a bit of work on the roof due to lightning strikes.  Maybe next time we won’t go up there with our armor on, however, it did seem like a good idea at the time because of the falls – I think we thought that the armor would protect us from some of the injuries we’ve endured.  Thankfully, neither one of us has broken anything other than our pride.

At least the roof project is done and we’re on to other things.  Luckily we don’t live too far away from the Tauren that work for Felaran’s brother’s company.  They have been very kind to both of us and even let us stay with them for a few days when there was no roof on the house.  They have a full house with their relatives staying with them, however, Sadheart or Naton, is a fellow Knight and he wasn’t about to see us suffering through this without some help from him and the rest of his clan.  At least we now have that project done and we’re able to stay at our own place.

No, Felaran is definitely not domestic, she tries real hard, however, some of the stuff that she has cooked really was hard to eat.  I mean, we don’t eat all that often, so, that’s probably a good thing, however, I think that we will go to the market for a while and grab some quick food there until we get the stove working properly and she has had a chance to learn how to make some of the delicious noodles that we both like.    She likes to blame her kitchen mishaps on the stove being old  – I know that it’s not so much the stove as it is the operator, however, I just nod my head and add it to the list of things to do.

Poor FuzzButt is probably the one that has suffered the most with the rain.  He always likes to stay right with me and that’s where the problem is sometimes.  Sure, he’s a cat and he can pretty much go wherever I go and does frequently.  He even stayed with us when we went to the Cloudhoof’s house for a few days, however, I could tell that he was almost as nervous as I was with a house full of Tauren.  Between adjust to the farming and learning how to “fix” things with the house, we have both been at our wit’s end sometimes.

Today I told Felaran that I wanted to take some time off and just do nothing.  I really wanted to just go down and fish for a while and let my mind wander.  It also might give my thumbs a chance to heal up from getting hit by a hammer so frequently – they just hurt and look like they have been flattened a bit with all of the abuse.  Really makes it hard for me to work on my jewelry when I am in the mood to do that sort of thing.   At least I have a place to keep my supplies now instead of having to haul it around in a box like I do when we’re in camp.

So, FuzzButt and  I have gone fishing today and we’re going to just enjoy the time while we can.  I do love Felaran as much as it is possible, however, I know that she is one that can chat almost all of the time and I am afraid to admit that I learned a long time ago how to tune that out.

I really need to start writing in this journal a bit more often too.  I know that I have forgotten a few of the things that we have done since we’ve been here in Pandaria and the whole idea of me keeping the journal was so that I could refresh my memory a bit if I needed too.

Ty Ravencrest

Just Thoughts of A Death Knight …


February 18th

Dear Journal,

Oh my, it has been a terribly long time since I’ve written in my journal – I noticed the date of my last writing and also noticed that the book was neatly secured deeply in my bag, so deep that I had to almost empty the bag before I could even remove it.

There are times that I do miss the fact that I can’t truly remember my family and then there are times that I am filled relief that I don’t after seeing and hearing some of the things that Felaran is going through.  Yes, I know I had a family, I didn’t just pop up out of the ground as a full grown man, become Scourge at the commands of the Lich, I had to have had a family, at least parents.

I know I did laugh at poor Fel the other night when she was writing in her journal and grumbling curse words every few seconds as she wrote things in her journal.  Her immediate family really isn’t that large, however, her extended family and friends seems to be quite extensive.  She is fortunate that she has all of the other people in her life, I suppose, however, I’m very happy that she is in mine because I honestly don’t know what would have become of me.

She’s still teaching me things, things that a man grown should have already achieved and known about and she is teaching me how to enjoy this unlife that we exist in. Prior to her coming into my life, I had had a very lonely existence and took it for granted that this is how I would exist in the here and now.  Since she came along, I am finding myself learning how to care about other things, other people and perchance, their feelings.

What I was laughing about the other night was the fact that it appears that her younger sister has returned to the fold and started making everyone’s lives a bit more tumultuous.  I have never met the young lady, however, from the descriptions that I have had from Fel, I’m not real sure that I want too. Felaran had told me that when she, as a Death Knight, returned to the family, there had been quite a bit of trouble from her sister due to the fact that a Knight was not socially acceptable to the people that her sister was acquainted with.  I can well imagine the uproar it might have caused. I suppose that they made amends and became friends when they were living in Dalaran – you know that sister kind of thing.  However, it does sound like Felaran has had her hands full with her much younger sibling and I do feel sorry for Fnor because the poor bugger has been stuck in the middle of it.

I know that in my travels through the Kingdoms, after my release from the Lich King, people were oftentimes less than friendly and I would take all manner of insults hurled in my direction from them.  As time has gone on and the people have found that we can be of service to them in our ability to fight to protect them from things – they have begrudgingly accepted us. However, I will say that our acceptance here in Pandaria has been a much welcomed reprieve from the cruelties that we had gone through before – not that it wasn’t deserved.  We were meant to be storm troops, killers at the call of our Master and we were not designed to have the emotions or feelings of our living counterparts.

Oh, I’m letting my mind wander too far back, I tend to do that sometimes and it does make me not only grateful for the life that I have now, it always makes me a little sad to think of the things that might have been different if I were a mortal man.

I’m sad a bit this morning because Felaran and I went to Halfhill and we were planning on buying our little farm, unfortunately, we were a few gold shy and the fellow just wouldn’t barter with us.  I know that Fel was disappointed, I could see it in her eyes and the way she carried herself.  We talked about it afterwards and have decided that we’re not in that big of a hurry, it will only take us a few more weeks to come up with the money and not be broke after the purchase.  It would be nice to be able to fix the place up a bit before we actually move in too – the house needs a lot of repairs and Naton has already told me that after we buy it, he will come over to help us fix things up – he’s a good man for a Tauren and a fellow Knight.

I know that Fel and I both love Pandaria and there are times when we both almost forget that we are what we are until our Rune Blades remind us, none too kindly, I might add, that we need to attend to certain things in order to survive.  I just know that it seems as though we are more acceptable to the people living here than we ever were in the Kingdoms.  We have decided, when all of this is over, that we are going to make our home here with the Pandaren. I know that the thoughts of having a home and a place to call our own has made us both very happy – yes, we’re going to stay together no matter whatever else may happen.  I think that we were both tired of being alone most of the time and we enjoy one another’s company…and there are other feelings as well.

I know that being with Felaran has softened me quite a bit, however, my old persona will show up without much warning when we are in a battle without fail.  It’s odd that there just seems to be a calling when our adrenalin kicks in and we become what we once were again.  Afterwards, I know that we both feel the glow of the battle, however, we welcome the reprieve of returning to what is considered the norm for the living.

I know that Felaran teases me unmercifully about Fuzzbutt, the kitten that she gave me a while back.  Well, that kitten has gotten to be rather large and is almost fully grown by feline standards and I still treat her like the baby she once was.  Of course, when we’re not doing our duty, we’re able to relax in Dawns Blossom at the Inn where Fuzzbutt seems to be the center of attention to some of the people visiting there as well.  She’s a friendly little thing and is truly getting to be more spoiled than she already was.   I know that I like to hold her on my chest and feel that purring rumble through her body and the warmth.  Fel told me that I treated the cat like a baby and that I was going to ruin her for any kind of “mousing” ability that she might have – you know, killing the virmen would be a good thing for a cat to do.  Anyway, I told Fel that Fuzzbutt was the only child that we would ever have and I thought she was going to split her sides laughing – it’s true, we can’t have kids, so, we might as well have pets, right?

Ty

Not Real Thrilled…


*Some coarse and blunt language within  – if you get easily offended by that sort of thing, don’t read it.*

 

February 12th

 

Dear Journal,

Well, it has been damned long time since I’ve written in my journal, however, I thought it was time to break it out again and write down some of this nonsense, just in case I get hit in the head or something.

Just to back up a bit, Faendra, my dim-witted sister, ran away from Orgrimmar before the rebellion kicked off to its bullshit.  Okay, she ran way because she didn’t want to get married to that silly mage that Fnor had picked out for her, can’t say that I blame her either because sometimes male mages can be more effeminate than us girls.  The real reason she took off was because that she was still carrying the torch for Dawnglory, plain and simple.  We all spent fucking months looking for her when we had the chance, however, I will admit that Ty and I didn’t exactly bust our humps trying to find the little bitch.

I got a letter this morning here in Vale from my brother telling me that he had found her at the Faire.  Well, of all the places that she might go and want to be hidden away – told you she wasn’t all that fucking bright.  Anyway, he’s all thrilled at having found her and has moved her back into the house in Silvermoon City. Of course, that means she’s back in the business again too, which is fine with me as long as she does an honest day’s work. Oh, the sad thing is that Fnor thinks she’s changed, that she won’t be the selfish, self-centered spoiled brat that she once was.  Okay, if that’s what you want to believe Big Brother, that’s fine.  However, I think that the poor fellow is going to be in for a real rude awakening.

If she’s changed, there has to be a magical switch somewhere that got flipped.  Oh, you know the fucking one I’m talking about – the one that flips and “Poof! You’re not a fucking Death Knight, you’re a real live woman again that can shoot rainbows out her ass and have farts that smell like roses!”

Oh, Fnor, I wish to hell I was close enough to you geographically because I would fucking shake you like a tambourine until you realized that Fae isn’t going to change, she’s just learned how to hide things better.  I know that girl, she’s my sister and for her to change would be like Dalaran falling from the sky in Northrend.  Nope, she’s not changed.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I love my sister almost as much as I love Ty and Fuzzbutt, however, after the stunts she’s pulled in the past, I can’t say that I like her much as a person.  Part of the reason she is like she is was because my dear brother just spoiled her rotten by giving her everything that she ever wanted in her life.  Why?  She got the best education that money could buy and she never lacked for the material things and they always had to be the best.  No, I’m not jealous, far from it, I’m sad for her because she has never learned the true value of anything.

Of course, he also mentions that he is leaving for a few weeks to spend some time with Amyn in Nagrand and to expedite the business in Shattrath which will be our main base of operations, I guess.  He says that he will be keeping the business open in Silvermoon, however, it will be a secondary front to the one Shattrath.  Well, honestly man, why in the hell would you leave Fae in Silvermoon while you go off and take care of business, both personal and professional?  He really must be living in a fool’s paradise to have left her on her own in Silvermoon.  Does he think that she is just going to go back to her life like it was there after all of the shit she has done?  I hope to fuck that Zippie keeps everything locked up at the office and warehouse because I’m sure that Miss Thing will get a case of “I want” and will clean the cash out.

I suppose that I should be jumping for joy at the idea that my sister is back in the fold, however, a part me is happy that she is safe and sound and part of me is just groaning inwardly.   Life was just starting to settle down again after she took off and now, she’s back.   I guess that Ty and I should fucking pack up and head to Silvermoon to see her, however, it ain’t gonna fuckin’ happen. Yes, I would like to see her, however, I just want to slap the shit out of her for what she put us all through.  She has no idea that her taking off like that at the time that she chose had our brother damned near sick to death with worry.

Ty knew I had gotten a letter from my brother and was curious about what was going on since we rarely get written correspondence from him.  I told him about Fae being back and all that, he just rolled his eyes and looked at me and chuckled.  He knows as well as I fucking do that my brother is being a twit and that things are going to get interesting with the family again.   No, he doesn’t  want to leave Pandaria anymore than I do because we’ve got shit going on, we have our own lives up here and we’ve finally saved enough money to where we can get a farm in Halfhill and build a house.  Nope, we’re not going back.

I’ll just cool my heels here and wait to hear from the Princess herself.  If she wants to renew our relationship, she’s going to have to work for it, even if she is my sister.  I did everything in my power to help her before she took off – I explained to her multiple times that her infatuation with Dawnglory was just that and nothing more – the man does not love her that way, he thinks more of her like a sister because he’s watched her grow up just as he has his own sister, Felessa.  Why can’t she just fucking see that and get on with her life?

I hope that I run into Dawnglory the next time I go to the market or I might even stop by his farm to make sure that he knows that Faendra is back in the picture.  Damn, the news is probably going to sit him down his ass because she made his life a living hell to where he actually started dispatching his contracts and materials in to the shop instead of carrying them in because he didn’t want to see Faendra.   Oh, besides, I want to see the new baby, she is just so small and she looks just like Dawnglory, he’d be hard pressed to try to deny her parentage.  I like his woman too, has a good head on her shoulders and doesn’t take shit from anyone.

Well, it’s time for Ty and  I to head back to Halfhill and finish up the negotiations on the farm.  Hopefully, by the end of today, we’ll be proud landowners.  Oh yeah, it’s going to be great to have a place to call our own and one where we can just relax and be ourselves.

Felaran

Let’s Go That Way…


March 28th

Dear Journal,

Oh, I think we’re going to be slogging through this Jade Forest forever. I keep looking around and I think I have been going in circles because things are starting to look familiar to me.  I can see why the Rangers mounted up and ran through like they had their pants on fire.  Nope, I have to be one of the foot soldiers that gets the pleasure of seeing every inch of ground.  I am going to put a mark on one the trees near a path that seems to be well trod by these plate-shod feet of mine and if I pass that way again tomorrow, I’ll know it. Are we in some kind of holding pattern?  I know I have killed so many Alliance and Hozen that I know Stormwind has got to be a ghost town by now.

I think I’m grousing about stuff because I think that Ty and I want to move further afield and not see the same things every single day.  How many Hozen do I have to stomp to see the other side of that particular hill?  Besides, one would think that the Alliance would stop parking that big barge in the sky and having their people parachute in every single day if they know we’re just waiting down at the landing zone to stomp their butts?

I can see a big Temple off in the distance and I want to get there and see what the rest of it looks like – the spire is like a beacon for us to work towards.  Nope, we fight all day, get recalled back to the same village and we do it all over again.  Hello!  Are we going to spend the entire war in the Jade Forest?

Ty and I are both becoming rather disgruntled with the Inn at this point.  Okay, we have to share the sleeping accommodations with a lot of other people and to be honest, I never have been one to like the barracks life.  There is always some fool that has to put his stinky boots where the air hits them and the odor wafts under your nostrils all night long until all you can smell is “stinky freaking feet”.

Oh, we’re doing our jobs and we’re doing what we are told to do, however, I can see the rebellion building up in Ty as much as I feel it in myself.  We want more, we want to see more and we definitely want to get out of this village.  Oh, the people are wonderful, however, I am starting to recognize the kids because I think they wear the same clothes every day or maybe they are different kids with the same clothes.

I think the reason our group is stuck here is because the Orc that leads us is getting laid by the Innkeeper, that’s my thought and the ugly bugger hasn’t ever been laid that much in his life.  Nope, I’m not going to become a settler in this Valley – I want out!

I want out of Jade Forest – I want to see what we’ve been told about.  No, I’m not bored, I’m just pissed.

Oh, I have to say that Fuzzbutt is getting to be a real fixture with Ty.  He likes to sit outside at night and plays with her. I wanted to make sure that he has something to care about if something should ever happen to me.  We really have become quite dependent on one another and I would think that he would miss my sarcasm a lot if something went wrong.

Oh, Light be praised  or whatever.  We’re going to be going in a different direction tomorrow.  Woot! We have a new Orc leading us too, wonder what happened to the hump happy one that was here before?  Oh well, it’s not my job to question things – I’m just getting kind of all giggly inside to think that we might see something different and get to kill something different.  Oh yes, my Dooker has been well protected all of this time.

Great! Now we have a new group of grunts coming in to try to find a place to sleep.  Oh, this place smells to high heaven.  One more fart in the room and I’m lighting a match to see if the building blows up.

I have to laugh, I didn’t realize that I make noises when I’m writing and Ty just told me that the growling was start to grate on his nerves a bit before he reached over and gave me a peck on the cheek.  Well, that was nice.  You growl, I’ll give you a kiss, the kitten purrs, I’ll pat you some more.   He’s learning.

Fel

Life Goes On…


March 22nd

Dear Journal,

Life goes on!! In my condition in this unlife, it does cause me to chuckle when I hear that.  If these mere mortals only knew what they were saying when they speak those words.  A means of living can go on through eternity if you have seen the things that I have seen and done the things that I have done.

At first, it was at the word of the Lich King, then, at my own volition in order to survive.  Whole villages of people have been killed by my hand in the name of the Lich. I can remember some of these acts, much to my sorrow and shame, however, my emotions were not under my control and my body was living through these acts. As they say, Life goes on!

I have done a lot of things since my life was renewed with the magic of the Lich and not all of them have been shameful.  From time to time, as I was tearing through a village with wild abandon and killing everything I came near, I would take pity on someone – maybe they reminded me of someone I knew in my past, somehow, maybe their pleas reached what was left of my soul – I would pass them by and continue on to my next victim.

That was my life under the Lich – kill or be killed and you must feed the Rune Blade.  At least now I have a choice as to what I can do or not do up to a point.  There are times when we are in battle that my old ways surface and I go on a killing spree – I can hear my blade singing in my ears as its hunger is satiated with each kill and I can feel myself growing stronger with each swing of my blade.  It’s true, you can lose yourself in a battle and not realize friend from foe – which is definitely a minus for the friend that you may have killed.

Since I met Felaran Morningstar, part of my unlife has changed.  I can hear her laughter when we are in battle and it makes me smile and I take kill for kill with her.  She takes joy in winning each fight and that is very infectious to me.  We fight side by side and I know that some of our comrades in arms will definitely give us a wide berth on the killing fields. We both recognize what we are and what we were meant to be, however, we have learned how to control some of that hunger that is always prevalent in our ways – the Rune Blade is our means of living and we will do what we must in order to survive.

I am starting to enjoy things that I thought were in the past for me.  The simple act of fishing or just being able to sit and feel the air wash over my body after I have removed my armor, my Blade is never far from my hand.  I am beginning to notice the beauty of my surroundings here in Panderia – it is possible to have a reawakening of one’s senses and to be able to take simple pleasure in your existence.

Before I came to Panderia, life was just something that was there.  I would go through the motions of trying to exist side by side with the living even though I was shunned by certain groups because of my abnormal existence, by their standards.   Here, in this time of war, I am accepted by all and yet, there is always that knowledge in my mind that this will change again when the war is over.

I am learning how to laugh again at the simple things.  A badly told joke even makes me smile, which was something I rarely did before now.  Felaran always teases me and tells me that it’s okay to enjoy things – I always wonder how much of this is awakening my other feelings in this unlife.  Anger I have lived with, laughter is something that is still in the learning process for me.  Gentleness is now something that I can do without fear of retribution from my fellow Death Knights.  Am I relearning all of the things that I thought were dead to me for all time?  I think so, however, I know that once I step back into battle, it all disappears as if it never was again.

This Jade Forest is a marvelous thing to me.  All the green things and all of the wildlife – yes, there are the Alliance here too that we lay waste too.  I know that while I may enjoy learning these things again, I won’t let it weaken me.  I’ve actually enjoyed just sitting in one spot and watching everything around me – the living doing their things – the Pandaren with their philosophical approach to life have intrigued me and I listen to what they say.  Slow Down! Life is to be savored!  If they only knew what life and taking life does for me as a Death Knight, they might not say that so cheerfully.  

Felaran actually gave me a pet.  A kitten so tiny that I can hold it in one hand.  I don’t remember having a pet before and I must say that the feelings that I have for my kitten, Fuzzbutt, have been rather embarrassing.  I can’t recall ever having a pet before and to know that this little thing is dependent on me for its very existence is very disturbing and it makes me feel different.  I didn’t know whether to thank her for the gift or not.

She laughed at me when I just held the kitten in my hand staring at it like it was some kind of strange life form and told me that it would make me a better man – how is taking care of a kitten going to make me a better man? Oh sure, I’ve been around other people’s pets and really never gave it much thought.  It’s another learning thing for me, I guess.

 I want to learn how she can take joy in this unlife the way that she does, that’s why we have become friends. She teaches me things every day – her existence here in Panderia and our meeting under these circumstances has actually opened my eyes to a different way of accepting what I am.

Writing things down in a journal is a new thing for me too.  It will help me remember things if my mind should start to deteriorate, which I hope is unlikely at this point.

Ty

 

 

Learning to Live Again


March 17th

Dear Journal,

In this time in place that I find myself, my past is better forgotten.  My name is Tylanlor Ravencrest, my birthplace in my past life was Silvermoon and my rebirth was Archerus. That is correct, I am a Death Knight and was in the service of the Lich King until his initial defeat at Hope’s Chapel and then my true freedom came with his final death in Ice Crown. I serve the Horde, by choice of my past life’s birth.

My memory of my family is hazy at best, however, there are times that I have flashbacks of sorts that chill my bones and sometimes, they take on a different feeling. I’ve dreamt of walking the streets of Silvermoon as a living being, talking with people that may be long dead, by my hand or another’s.  Names, some I can think I know and then, they fly from my brain as if they were chased by demons.  They probably were chased by demons, my own inner demons because I know what I am – something that the living should avoid if I am not in control of myself. Am I afraid of this “life” that I lead?  Am I angry about the fact that my mortal life was taken from ?  No, to both questions because I have faced death many times and have come to call it a friend – I will never age, I will never know the love of a mortal woman, I will never have a family as some do. No, I am not angry – angry is a useless waste of energy and takes from the pleasure that I have in my own existence.

I may have been a Ranger at some point because I know that I long to take up a bow in my hands from time to time and I have been teased constantly for the way that I move out in the field.  I stalk before I kill..and then I kill when the time is right.  My prey usually isn’t aware of my presence unless I want them to be aware – I feed from their fear as well as their deaths. I like to hear their screams, hear their heartbeats as they know that their lives are going to end in a flurry of blades or in my icy grip. Oh, I don’t stalk animals unless you count the two-legged variety.

I kill because I must, to survive in this unlife of mine.  I must feed the Rune Blade as well as the demon that I have become.

My first real memory is awakening in Archerus, the excruciating pain, the laughter of the people that were changing me forever. If this is similar to being born on the mortal plane, I’m surprised that we’re not all insane. I remember being pulled from the table that I had been chained too and turned over to some other Death Knights for their pleasure and enjoyment – had I still had my mortal soul, I would have ended it at that point for the shame that was visited on what was left of my living flesh and mind.

Hatred, yes, I have hatred for some of my kind that roam this Azeroth because they live the old way – the way of killing anything and everything that come near.  Scourge!  I don’t feel myself at odds with the Ebon Blade, however, I do feel at odds with some of the brethren that have not given up their roots in the evil that created them.  The Lich is dead, you can no longer serve him as some mindless robot, you can now think for yourselves. You can control your urges to do that evil, if you so choose.

I think that I was fortunate that my creation was done amongst some of the very last in Archerus – that taint was not allowed to grow as deeply imbedded as I have seen with some of the older Death Knights. I can still take a certain amount of pleasure being amongst the living – I can smell the flowers and enjoy the sunlight in moderation.  No, I’m not deteriorating as some of my kind are, if I am, it is indeed a slow process and my faculties seem to be fairly well intact.

I have always been pretty much a loner until I came to Panderia and I met someone that seems to enjoy this unlife more than others.  She has taught me how to enjoy things again, to almost feel alive.  She is probably a few years younger than I am, I’ve never asked, however, she has been among the ranks of the Death Knights a while longer, not by much from what we can piece together.  She was fortunate enough to be reunited with her family and has been able to learn of her past, whereas, my past is past and I may find out whom I really am at some time. She has taught me how to laugh at our circumstances and the way that she thumbs her nose at the rest of the world has caused me to join in that laughter on more than one occasion.  We are friends, I have avoided making friends in the past, living friends will sometimes turn on a Death Knight, however, the only time I have seen this happen amongst our brethren is if they are of a different faction or if they are the rogues that have given us a bad name.

I know that I feel comfortable being around her and would rather have her fighting at my side or covering my back than anyone I have ever encountered. Feelings?  I think I have them somewhere deep in this corpse body of mine, however, time will tell if that part of me is still capable of that kind of feeling.

Oh, one thing that I do have to say is that she is a terrible cook.  I will eat the food that she prepares, I’m one of the Death Knights that rarely feels hunger for food, my hunger is for something else. Anyway, I will eat her food and tell her how wonderful it is regardless of the fact the fact that it tastes like something the carrion would fight over.

Oh well, I suppose it’s time for us to go out and kill some more Alliance.  My blade thirsts this morning.

Ty