Why Is This Happening…


*Beware, there will be some graphic and salty language in this post.  If you are easily offended, please do not read. *

 

October 19th

Yo Book!!

At least you’re still here and I can at least put some of my thoughts down and try to muddle my way through my life for a while longer.  There really isn’t anyone that I can talk to about things with Fnor being away and my sister is all tied up with her marriage and two children.   Besides, who wants to listen to a lonely and lost fellow trying to make some sense out of the things that have gone on in his life.

I have fucking toed the mark and tried to do all the right things without upsetting the Powers-to-Be, Fate and the Light.  I’ve even sent my prayers to any of the damned gods that I can think of to try to make some sense out of what has happened.

The area where the zeppelin crashed is not uninhabited and there are towns and villages scattered all over the place. Yet, no one has seen my red-haired woman traveling with two small children.  I know that I have searched until I’m am both exhausted in mind and body.  It probably doesn’t help matters that I am still trying to keep the rest of my life in order as well – I do have obligations that must be met – one obligation is military and the other is making money with Morningstar Enterprises to make sure that my family has something to come back too.  I don’t think that any of them would want to come back and live in a tent or stay in Silvermoon at this point.

Yes, I did take Fnor’s advice and I have been staying at the main house in Silvermoon and I will have to admit that I have enjoyed spending some time with Agatha and her children.  At first, I was kind of nervous since she has never mentioned having a man in her life before, however, after meeting the children, there is no doubt in my mind whom the Father might be.  Fnor has two beautiful children, a boy and a girl that he is apparently not acknowledging or he hasn’t been told about them although they seem to be more than a little bit aware of who I am and know of his whereabouts.  Amyn would be crushed if she knew that Fnor didn’t keep his word to her, however, he is married to her and has never stepped out or broken his vows since they were married in Dalaran in the Sindorei fashion.    The girl is as beautiful as her Mother; however, she has a lot of Fnor’s mannerisms and features – quick to smile and quick to anger, I suppose, just like Daddy.  He won’t be able deny the boy – the boy is the spitting image of Fnor, same smile, same everything and his voice is already very much like his Sire’s voice although softer.  Now, the question comes to mind of whether I should mention them to him or should I talk to Agatha first?  Hmmm, can’t say that I want to confront Fnor about the kids when he is apparently unaware of their existence – that could explain some of Agatha’s absences, I suppose – off having a baby on those vacations she has taken.  They both have the same heavy dark hair of both parents; however, the boy has the same exact eyes as Fnor’s other boys – the green flecks overriding the underlying lighter color.  Strange but beautiful looking.  I think I’ll talk to Agatha and find out what she must say about her children.

I know that I still wake up in the mornings here in Silvermoon and my heart longs to be on the farm in Halfhill.  I miss the rain on the rooftop and the smell of the place.   Yes, I miss the big bed that seems so empty without Romy in it and I miss the constant chattering of the villagers as they walk down the road towards their farms or the market.   I have spoken with Agatha quite a bit about my feelings of loss and the loneliness that has seemed to take the place of the emptiness that I have been feeling.   She has assured me that I will survive it all and that she had to experience the whole thing with the Commander when he lost the girl and his child when he was living in Dalaran.   Those were turbulent and sad times for all of us, however, Agatha never left Fnor alone all those months, she was always there taking care of the house and a lot of the business stuff that he didn’t want to make time for.  Here she is in Silvermoon taking care of his interests here …and his children.

I’ll have to give this all some more thought, my mind is totally spinning at the ramifications of the thoughts that I am having and for once, I’m not dwelling on my own losses.  Light!!  I wish that I could find Romy and the children soon.

 

Fnar Dawnglory

 

July 8th – Life Goes On…Right?


*Remember that this particular character is pretty outspoken and has no filter on his language – might be a few words in here that are not fit for people to read that are easily offended. *

 

 

July 8th

 

Yo Book!!

I knew that I was fucking getting run-down and didn’t feel like my normal self, however, I didn’t realize what real exhaustion can do to you sometimes.  I know that I have been burning the candle at both ends and trying to cure some of that with imbibing in more alcohol than I should.  Now, I’ve been fucking told that I had better knock that nonsense off if I plan on living long enough to find Romy and the kids.  I know that I have felt like there is never going to be an end to this and I will spend the rest of my living days searching for my wife and children.

Yes, I fucking said the word – WIFE.  My intent when I got home from Draenor was to take her to a magistrate or to one of the monks in Pandaria and for us to get married.  Yes, that legal and binding thing that people do when they love one another with their entire being. Well, that got shot to Hell and Gone when I got back and she was missing.  In my mind and in my heart, we’re already married and have been since the day we met – I wasn’t just smitten with her physical beauty, I was smitten with her soul and her sheer love of life. Yeah, I know it’s stupid, however, I do believe in “love at first sight” because it has happened to me and I have lost all interest in other women – that was quite a shock in the womanizer that I used to be. To say that I was experienced is an understatement – I had gone on some rough mileage at times.

What brought this outburst on, you might ask?  Well, I was talking with Fnor and he mentioned that I looked a little tired and maybe I should just take some time off.  I did tell him about the way that his sister was acting with me again and that set him off on temper tantrum that seemed to be more than just his usual outburst.  I told him about her comments and the way that she had acted very recently which just made him angrier at her.  There are days that I ask myself “why me?” I do try to keep going and try to overlook a lot of her overtures’ that had ceased for a while, however, with Romy out of the picture, she is on me as a target once again.

I have known Faendra since she was a kid. Hell, she and my sister, Felessa, were best friends until she started chasing after me like a bitch in heat.  I know that this has been going on for years and has caused Fnor and I some major problems, however, it has not interfered with our friendship.  There are times when I wonder if Fnor isn’t all that bright when it comes to females and how dangerous they can be – with his experiences, he should have clue by now.

I know that Jongu has mentioned to me that he doesn’t like that other Blood Elf female that comes by the house sometimes.  He said she isn’t nice to him and thinks that she has sneaky streak and might steal things when I’m not there and he is busy doing other things.  Hmmm, that’s unusual for Jongu because he’s always liked everyone to my knowledge.  I wonder what he was hinting at, he’s a strange fellow and I like having him around and he works cheap since I told him he can sell his chicken and dumplings at the market.  I know we are still having that problem with the chickens dropping dead at the farm every once in a while, – we have still not figured out what is up with that, however, it doesn’t seem to cause any issues when we eat them.  Oh well, I’ll just keep my eyes out for that little bitch.

While I was talking with Fnor, a weird thing happened.  I either passed out or I fainted and I woke up with a healer standing over me and shaking her head.  She said I was suffering from exhaustion and that my body was showing some signs of trouble from my drinking.  Well, that wasn’t a real surprise to me, I know I have been drinking quite a bit.  She also told me that I was talking while I was out and crying – my emotions seemed more than a little bit raw. 

The weird thing that happened was I was talking and I heard my daughter’s voice like she was standing there with Fnor and I.  I felt my heart give a lurch when I heard the voice and I passed out.  How can she be here and not here?  I know that I still have a chill when I think about it, I don’t want to think that she is in the afterlife and it was her spirit talking to me – she can’t be dead and neither can Romy and my son be dead.  I won’t believe it, I refuse to believe.  Anyway, long story short, she told me to take some time off and possibly get out of Pandaria for a while and go back to the Eastern Kingdoms, get some rest and see if I can’t quieten my mind some.

I told Fnor what the healer had told me and he told me to go back to Silvermoon and stay at the house there for a while.  He would get in touch with Agatha to let her know that I was coming and to make sure that she keeps Faendra away from me if she should show up.  So, I am going to take the advice and take some time off, drop the letter from the healer off in Orgrimmar and go home for a while to Silvermoon.

 

Fnar Dawnglory

 

 

 

NSFW – June 5th – Sweet Revenge…


*NSFW – a little more passion that what would be appropriate for young readers, be aware. *

June 5th

Dear Journal,

I know that I have done something that I shouldn’t have done, however, it was something that I have been wanting to do for years and I feel that it was long overdue. None will be the wiser unless I end up getting pregnant and if that happens, he’ll have to marry me or lose his friendship with my brother – he would never want to lose that. I don’t care if my brother cuts me off, again, I have my own money now and I can earn a living on my own, thank you very much.

All my life I have been in love with this man, ever since I figured what men were, and my heart has never drifted from the thought that I would have this handsome golden-haired man for my own. He must be mine because I haven’t loved or cared for anyone the way that I do him. With all the plotting and planning that I have done over the years trying to get him to admit that he loves me and wants only me were wasted. All I had to do was wait and the Fates would step in and give me what I wanted and all I had to do was wait until the proper time. I have been watching and waiting all this time, I just had to learn to be patient and it worked. Well, it kind of worked.

Dawnglory has always been the one man that I’ve wanted with my entire being, his looks, his attitude and the way that he has come from a life of nothing and made himself what he is today without the help of family. I guess you could call him a man’s man: somewhat like my brother, Fnor. I love my brother and I am very proud of what he has done with his life except for the fact that he is supposedly married to a long-eared Night Elf. How he could betray his own kind and his political connections like that is beyond my understanding, however, I should accept the fact. Of course, Fnor really isn’t my brother, he’s adopted and we’re not sure what his real bloodlines are.

I know that I haven’t written in my journal in a long time and this is probably something that I shouldn’t write down, however, I do have to tell someone to make it seem more real to me. I can’t tell anyone else about it and it is going to be hard to act as if nothing has happened. I just want to beam and gloat over the fact that I slept with the man that I love.

It was easy to accomplish with his woman being lost along with his children, however, he was drowning his sorrows and I knew, from experience, that he would go home alone to sleep it off. Well, he went home but not alone because I offered to make sure he got to the farm without passing out in the road somewhere. It was easy and all he kept saying is that I reminded him so much of Romy.

Romy, that savage from Northrend that stole my man away from me. Sure, he thinks he loves and he has had two children with her. Well, I know the little girl is his because she looks just like him, however, the youngest one I am not so sure of because he was born after Dawnglory went to Draenor. The little fellow does have the same lopsided smile and there is something about the shape of his face that reminds me of his supposed Father, however, I’m not real sure. You never know with whores, they do tend to shop around when their main man isn’t available.

Well, I got the poor man home and helped him undress a bit and got him into bed and acted like I was leaving. I didn’t leave, I stood outside and talked to Dog and that fish fellow -Jongu, whatever his name is and even had a bowl of dumplings that he had made. I turned to go back in the house and the fellow told me that the Lady wasn’t going to like me going in there with the Master being asleep. I just told him to shut up and went inside.

It was easy to slip out of my clothes and slide under the furs and before I had even settled myself, Fnar started sobbing his sleep and kept calling out for his woman. I told him I was there and that everything was okay. His eyes flashed open briefly and I thought that he was going to recognize me and he didn’t. He started kissing me and running his hands over my body and before I realized it, not shocked, he had started doing the things that men do with women.

I have never had a man make love to me the way that he did and how many peaks and valleys of passion that he made me go through and I thought I was going to lose my mind with the passion. Oh, Light Help Me! I never knew anything could make you feel so good all over and it seemed as if would never end.

He did keep calling me Romy and his passion was intense because he thought he was with his woman and he had so much pent up passion from being away from her for over a year. I know it was stolen passion for me and I took great pleasure in everything he did to me that seemed to go on for hours and hours.

It did go on for hours, the dawn was just breaking when I was finally able to escape the bed and put on my clothes to head back to the camp in Karasang. Oh my, it was hard to tear myself away from all of that. I know that I have found my match in all things with Dawnglory and I will have him for my husband before this year is over.

Faendra Morningstar

May 29th – Still Searching…


*Language might be a little salty for some, so, if that offends you, please do not read.*

May 29th

Yo Book!!

I woke up this morning and almost thought that Romy was back, I could smell perfume in the air and could almost feel her body lying next to mine. Oh my, my heart was pounding until I opened my eyes and discovered that it was only a dream. What a fucking nightmare it is to awaken and find that your heart’s desire is not there after all.

Damn it!! I constantly feel as if my heart were breaking and that time is standing still just to torture me for some past transgressions – I know that haven’t been a fucking angel or anything of that nature, so, I’m sure that I have chalked up a few errors in my past. Before I met Romy and fell in love with her, there wasn’t a woman safe on the planet. If I found her attractive and she felt the same for me, it was all over because my moral compass was a bit lax.

I’m wide awake now and I can still smell that perfume in the air. Something is not right with that because I know that I haven’t shaved, no cologne from me, and the smell is something that I am very familiar with. It’s almost as if someone were here in my house on the farm. This has me really fucking distracted as hell and I can’t get the smell out of my nostrils. Oh wait, the smell is on the bed and on the pillows next to where I was sleeping. Did someone come in here while I was asleep and I didn’t wake up – could be – I know I drank myself senseless last night here alone. Yeah, I fucking cried myself to sleep and no one knows that better than me. What wouldn’t I give to have my family back.

I had been out looking for Romy and the kids and still no luck and still no information. I know that her family is looking as hard as I am for them. How can a grown woman and two small children just disappear like that? No, I’m not a fucking moron, I know that it can happen, however, not to a woman that is as adept at handling situations as my Romy.

I know that she left Pandaria and was in route to Orgrimmar with the kids and supposedly would travel on to Northrend to visit her family there. Well, they never made to Orgrimmar. We did find a crash site of a Zep in Hyjal and a baby shoe was found by one of Romy’s relatives and identified. I know they aren’t dead, I would feel it in my soul if they were. We are all still searching for them, however, where could they be?

Well, I should go back to Draenor for a few days to attend to my duties there and get orders set up for my Garrison before I can come back and search some more. I’m sure that the Horde will understand if I tell them to go to hell while I try to piece my life back together and if they don’t, they can kiss my backside.

Fnar Dawnglory

May 1st – Still Searching…News


*Please note:  Some salty language that might offend the more sensitive readers*
May 1st
Yo Book!
No, I haven’t written anything for fucking long time, however, I’ve had my hands full with still running the Garrison in Draenor as well as searching for Romy and the kids every single moment that I have free. At least the travel between Draenor and Azeroth is open and easily accessible.  I guess they decided it would be much easier to have troop movement between two areas since the Legion seems to have decided to return to Azeroth once again.
My heart is heavy and there are times I wonder if life has any real meaning left for me, the love of my life is gone and the things that have given me hope for the future are gone.  How does a fucking man even start to rebuild his life when everything that he cared about is gone?  At least I still have my sister and her children.
I’ve gone to Silvermoon to see Felessa several times and it is difficult for me because I see the golden haired little boys that she has and I think of my daughter and my son.  I dream constantly of Romy, her laughter, the lovemaking that we once enjoyed with such wild abandon and it makes me feel like that all of it was a dream.  Did I dream that I had a woman in my life that literally had my heart and soul in her hands for all the time that we were together?  Was it all a dream?
I know that Fnor has been very supportive and understanding with my moods and my inability to really step up and help with the company in Orgrimmar.  I know that all the employees are working diligently to find out any information that that they can about Romy and the kids.  How in the Light could one woman and two small children just disappear from everywhere?  Oh, I know that wars can obliterate entire families, however, I have been able to find out that Romy was planning to go to Northrend with the children.
I did receive word from Romy’s family and they have been searching for her as well.  They have found some evidence that she had taken zeppelin from Orgrimmar to Northrend.  What I didn’t’ realize is that she had decided to make the trip during the invasions of the Legion in Azeroth.  They have found evidence of a crash site and one of the children had lost a leather bootie – my son’s bootie.  They are still searching for more evidence.
Fuck it all, I am sitting here crying like my heart is breaking all over again.  Mt. Hyjal is not that far from Orgrimmar and I will have to plan to join the family search party as soon as I can break away from my duties.  I’ve asked for leave and the bastards in Orgrimmar haven’t had the courtesy to respond yet.  It’s not like one man being out of action for a while to try to find his family is going to lose the battles in Draenor or the Broken Isle.
I’m not that damned important, let me go find my family, I don’t care about the Horde, I don’t take full direction from them.  If I must, I’ll go see the Regent in Silvermoon to get released from my duties – his commands are the ones that I follow, not the new Warchief.
Fnar Dawnglory

Still Searching…


*Some coarse language used, please do not read if you’re easily offended. *

 

February 2nd

Yo Book!!

It’s been a while since I have written in my journal, however, I have been rather busy trying to keep up with my fucking duties and trying to find my wayward woman and my children.  It’s not been easy and I have spent a hell of lot of time trying to figure out where she could have fucking disappeared too.

I think I’ve gone through spells of depression and then I got angry and back to the depression again. I have my own way of grieving and sometimes it works better than it has currently.   Romy was such a large part of my life and the kids were everything I had ever hoped for – now, they are gone.  I think the loneliness is the hardest part to handle and it will be with me until I can get some closure on this or at least fucking find them.  I know that she was stubborn and was always good at taking care of herself, however, I never thought that she would just pack up and leave like she appears to have done.   When I am not on duty, I’m trying to follow up on any clues that I might have uncovered and it has taken this long for me to sit here and just write.

I’ve talked to so many people in Pandaria and searched the place until I can hardly stand it – she and the children are not here and it does point more to her leaving and going to Northrend. Of course, tracking down the pack that she was always with before has been more of a challenge than anything else.

Let me explain this a little bit.  Romy was with a group of family members that have chosen a different lifestyle and handle things more in the ways of wolves.  They have the Alpha males and females and everyone raises the kids together.  They tend to hunt in packs or something of that nature which has allowed them to survive in the northern part of Northrend.  I had met them all before we were together and had talked to many of the leaders, bonding with them.   Now, I can’t even seem to find all the old encampments.  It’s almost as if they have disappeared.

Of course, there is another branch of the family that is more civilized that the Northrend group, although, that could be debatable.  Naturally, the branch that lives in and around Silvermoon are more of the matriarchal society than anything else. It almost reminds me of how the Night Elves live most of the time than true Sindorei.  I think that these traditions and habits that they appear to have are more based on High Born practices than most want others want to show.  Makes me wonder about the family bloodlines a bit but that is beside the point.  I just want to find Romy and my children and get them back home with me.  Sometimes the loneliness is more than I can stand.

Romy had left some pictures behind when she left the farm in Half Hill and I have gathered them up and put them away so that nothing will happen to them and she can have them when she returns. Pictures of us being happy together and pictures of the children.  Yes, I finally got to see what my boy looks like and I must say that he looks more like his Mother than he does me – the red hair and coloring.  I bet he will grow up to be a very handsome young man.   I hope that I can find them all before he is a man – just knowing that they are all out there somewhere makes my heart keep hope that we will be together again someday.  I know that there are times that I have a terrible time holding back my tears and they are even streaming down my face as I write.

How could such happiness just disappear, how could the love we had seemed to have changed for some reason?  I’m afraid that I have truly brutalized Faendra with my suspicions that she might have had something to do with their disappearance to the point that she wrote to her brother and begged him to tell me that she had nothing to do with them being gone.  Yes, she did say that she still loved me, however, she would never do anything to Romy or the babies – they were mine and she knew how much I loved them.

Ah well, I suppose that I should quit writing tonight and head out to do some wandering around and visiting with some of the neighbors here in Half Hill.  I know that the women always ask if I had found Romy yet, which tears the wound open a bit.

Fnar Dawnglory

 

 

Time…What Else Is There?


*Note:  There is some language in this post and if you’re easily offended, please do not read it.

 

December 12th

 

Yo Book!!

 

This has always been my favorite time of year and this year would have been the best.  Damn it!! Where is she?  Yeah, I’m still fucking looking everywhere I can think of, any place that she ever mentioned or I knew that she liked.  I’ve put up fliers in every place that I could think of to try to get information about Romy and the kids, nothing yet.  I even posted a reward, damn it all, don’t people need money anymore? Where the hell is she?  Has she decided that she no longer wants me in her life?  What is going on?  I am so confused and broken-hearted at this point that I don’t know what else to do except to keep looking for her and the kids – I want them back, I want my family back.  Did she meet someone else and went away with them?

I have quit drinking because all it did was make me sick and didn’t seem to dull the pain like it did back in the days before I met the “love of my life” and it only makes me want her back even more now. Oh sure, women think that when you’re drowning yourself in your cups at an Inn that you’re looking for company – I have gotten slapped for telling them to go away now.   I’m not looking for anyone else to be with, I just want Romy back.

Fnor has put up a reward for information too as well as giving all the people in the company a notice of a huge bonus if they stumble upon any information that might help me find my family again.  So far, nothing has been found.  I always knew that Romy would disappear and not be found if she chose to do that, however, I never thought that she would take our children and just disappear like she has.

I even got into a fucking fight with Faendra because I accused her of doing something to Romy and the kids!  I know that she has always been jealous of Romy and the relationship that had developed between us – I know how devious Fae can be when things don’t go her way.  For Light’s Sake!! I’ve watched that girl grow up and I know how manipulative she is.  She’s not off the hook yet because I wouldn’t ever believe she didn’t have something to do with this.

Everyone is under the impression that Romy took the kids to visit in Northrend because that is what she has told them.  I haven’t been able to locate he Father either, I would assume that he is on the Broken Isle and I haven’t had time to search that whole place yet – too much fighting to just dedicate myself to my search.

I have been lonely before, however, this time I am lonely and I feel dead inside – there is a difference.

 

Fnar Dawnglory