Waxing Nostalgic


Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

July 21st

Dear Journal,

It feels like it has been forever since I have taken the time to sit down long enough to write anything down for myself.  So much paperwork comes with command and it seems like everything needs to be posted out immediately.  Of course, I could take a step down and then I’d probably have double the workload – I do know how to delegate as well as any other Commander and I know that Rangers would much rather be things actively and not be stuck at a desk.  Oh well, I’ll do what I can.

I do thank the powers-to-be that I was able to take some time away from my duties and got to spend some time with my wife.  Oh, I do miss those days when we could slip away without much notice from our comrades.  Times change and we still must live with the prejudices that wax and wane with the political climates that are forever changing.

Oh, to be able to hold Amyn in my arms and smell her scent.  Just to feel her lithe body close to my own is like a welcomed freedom that we have never taken for granted.  Our liaison could have cost us our lives many times in the past and there are times when we have been able to share our family and our lives openly when we were living in Dalaran when it was in Northrend before the Jaina Proudmore incident.  Oh well, those were special days for us – having a home that I had spent years building and furnishing over the years. I still miss that home and the freedom that we had there.  Oh well, we have a beautiful place to live together and to have our family with us when we can arrange it.  We have always been very partial to Shattrath and that lead us to settle our family there when we were younger – being a free open city, we could live together openly.

So many years we have had to slip around like a couple of kids to find our time together – who knows, that may have added the extra spice to our lives although I don’t know that I can handle much more spice.  We have our two sons as well as we hope grandchildren to come our way in the future.  Life can be good; however, the constant strife and battling seems to be a way of life on Azeroth.

At least I know that my wife and children are safe for the moment.  I know that it is never an assured thing with all of us active in this conflict going on.   Amyn keeps an eye out for the boys and tries to make sure that they are okay without becoming a nuisance – she’s a good Mother and has always had her children’s interest to heart.  I do what I can because it would be rather difficult for me to see them all the time because they took after their Mom with their appearances – Kaldorei.  Yeah, it would be hard to explain a Sindorei chatting it up with them if we were ever caught.

I still have a few more days to enjoy being with Amyn here in Outland before I must head back to my duties.  One day I will find the peace that we both crave, and we will be able to live a normal life of some sort and I don’t care if it must be here in Nagrand either.  It has taken us years to get the house the way that we want it and it is as comfortable as the house we had Dalaran before the Purge.

Well, time for me to take off and get some things done – I think I hear Dawnglory talking and I wonder why he is here.

Fnor Morningstar

Trying to break away and gather my thoughts…


Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

 

 

November 11th

 

Dear Journal,

It’s been a few days since I have had the time or the inclination to sit down and write anything down.  Let’s just say that things have been more than a little bit busy with our latest military actions.  All I see these days seem to be demon-filled areas and the foul Fel stink that permeates everything in the Broken Isles.  We won’t even get into the discussion of not being able to gaze up at the night sky these days without seeing that glaring ugly new sight of Argus – there seems to be no escape from that view even when you leave the Broken Shore.

I know that the Legion is trying to kill us all, however, it does make me wonder if that must include the stench of Fel.  Laughingly, I have tried everything to rid myself of the smell, I think I have spent a small fortune on all kinds of remedies that seem to smell worse than the Fel. Amyn is constantly teasing me about all the things that I have tried and blames it all on my being a Silvermoon escapee.  Of course, she had to share the fact that she hasn’t had to buy anything to get rid of the smell, she just bent over and picked up some sand from the edge of the lake that we were sitting by and rubbed it vigorously on her skin and on the ends of her hair.  Asked me to take a quick sniff of the areas she had scrubbed and there was no smell of Fel. Only a Night Elf would have realized such a simple remedy was literally at hand.

At least the two of us have been able to spend some time together on the Broken Isles without too much trouble, however, I will have to admit that it is somewhat difficult to keep our minds on other things while we are constantly watching for anyone and anything that might be an enemy of some kind.  Yes, war is always a dangerous business anytime you’re involved, however, there should be an escape other than Dalaran.

I know that Amyn and I have been together for most of our lives and that first meeting in the Barrens, so many years ago. I know that we have always tried to keep our relationship hidden from people outside of our families and I think that we have succeeded in that regard for the most part.  At least we haven’t been arrested or anything like for having this relationship.   I can remember a few years ago when the children were still small, and we were living in Dalaran together, it was always a shock to some people that I was involved with a Sentinel. No one in Dalaran ever tried to cause issues for us, the shopkeepers knew Amyn and she used my accounts without any issues and nothing was ever said.  Of course, back in the Eastern Kingdoms or even Kalimdor, things were totally different.  We never really had to hide a whole lot in Pandaria either, people tended to mind their own business there.

I know that we have become wealthy over the years with our businesses being combined and scattered throughout Azeroth and I’m sure that some people are more than a bit curious about how easily it seems that both firms can get their hands-on items that are supposedly exclusive for the Alliance or the Horde – Morningstar Enterprises is based out of Orgrimmar and Shadowmoon Enterprises is based out of Stormwind.  The only place that the company is totally out in the open is in Shattrath – that was the only open city that was available to us back in the day and it worked out well for us personally and the business.  Both boys were born in Shattrath and even though they were half-breeds, they didn’t have many issues to contend with while they were living there.  Of course, both boys still must know they are of mixed blood these days when they are in Stormwind, people there are always suspicious of people that appear to be different – they both look very much like the Kaldorei except for their eyes which can show some of the green from my side.  Kal has always acted more like his Mother’s people and doesn’t have too many of my traits to give him away, however, Vashlan is very Sindorei with the things that he likes to do, yes, he’s quite the clothes horse and quite the lady’s man.   Not to mention, Vashlan is a mage and is studying in Stormwind with hopes of going to Dalaran someday to finish up and take a more active role in the things going on in Azeroth.

Amyn and I have been very fortunate at keeping our marriage a secret as well as the fact that we have been mated far longer than we’ve been legally bound in the Sindorei fashion.  I do love her with all my heart and my children are the best thing that we have ever had happen.

Oh yes, I was quite the rounder for a while and had quite a few liaisons with women before we were wed because I wanted a family that would be accepted in the Sindorei society.  As far as I know, Amyn and I are the only ones to have had children from our alliance and that is probably for the best because I know that Amyn has quite the temper and I’d probably be a dead man if I suddenly had children showing up from any affairs I’ve had over the years with my female Sindorei consorts.

I did make it to Orgrimmar and signed some papers for Zippie and picked up some mail that had been delivered to the office rather than forwarded to me in the Broken Isles.  I suppose that is just as well because I got a letter from Dawnglory that has some interesting information in it and I know that he wants to talk to me about it.  Still no news about Romy and the children, I suppose he wants to take some more time off or increase the reward for any information of their whereabouts.

 

Fnor Morningstar

 

 

 

 

July 19th – Family…Sisters are hard to figure out


Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

 

July 19th

 

Dear Journal,

There are times when I wonder how or why I spent most of my life trying to raise my two sisters correctly.  Obviously, I wasn’t too successful with Felaran because she had already been turned to serve the Lich King. 

It was a long drawn out process and I spent a very long time looking for her and found her in Outland. Of course, she really didn’t recall her past and she didn’t truly remember me, however, I did convince her to come with me to Dalaran to live.  Her connections to the Lich King had been severed and she had followed a group of other Death Knights to Outland because she didn’t know of anything else to do. Yes, she was a killing machine and a certain part of her will always remain as such, however, she has learned how to control herself over the years.  Her memories have returned and she does remember a lot of the things that happened to her when she was younger.  Some people may not remember that there were times when Death Knights were not welcomed in any of our cities even though they had broken away from the Lich King – people just remembered what they were used for all those years.

What I am concerned about some of the things that have been going on with my youngest sister, Faendra.   She has always had strange obsession with Dawnglory ever since she realized that there were differences between little girls, boys and then, grown men.   I don’t know if it’s psychological thing where she has a fixation on him because of her growing up without our parents.  Sure, he has always been a handsome devil and I think that has a lot to do with it as well as being one of the most charming fellow when it comes to the females of our race.  He was quite the womanizer and I did tell him to stay away from my sisters for that reason – I didn’t want to endanger our friendship and I didn’t want to have my sisters hurt.  I didn’t have to worry about Fel, however, Faendra really has always been a bit of an airhead.

I have tried to arrange a marriage for her and she ran away from home.  So, she ruined her reputation in Silvermoon City and hurt her social standing for a while.  However, enough money in the proper areas and that sort of thing is soon forgotten.  I was trying to make her life easier for her and to try to make her happy with her life and it seems I have utterly failed.  I wanted to give her the life that we would have never had with our parents, they were good people and they were trades people and we never lacked for anything that we needed.  I have been fortunate enough in my life to make some good decisions professionally and in business.

I know that I have told Dawnglory to stop going to the farm in Pandaria and stay in Silvermoon when he’s not in Draenor or up with the rest of us on the Isle.  Since Fae has decided to act rather predatory about him since Romy and the children are still missing, I needed to give the poor man some sort of haven and I’m sure that Agatha will make sure he is comfortable and protected when he is staying at the main house there. 

Now, I need to get in touch with Faendra and find out what she is up too or at least let her know that I know about some of her antics.  I hope that she hasn’t done anything that I can’t fix or at least get some control over.  Part of me wants to buy her out of the Rangers and put her back in Orgrimmar, however, that wouldn’t be fair to the other employees there.  Amyn and I have argued about this.  I must agree with her and let Dawnglory and Fae work this out – they are supposedly both adults.

 

Fnor Morningstar

 

July 8th – Life Goes On…Right?


*Remember that this particular character is pretty outspoken and has no filter on his language – might be a few words in here that are not fit for people to read that are easily offended. *

 

 

July 8th

 

Yo Book!!

I knew that I was fucking getting run-down and didn’t feel like my normal self, however, I didn’t realize what real exhaustion can do to you sometimes.  I know that I have been burning the candle at both ends and trying to cure some of that with imbibing in more alcohol than I should.  Now, I’ve been fucking told that I had better knock that nonsense off if I plan on living long enough to find Romy and the kids.  I know that I have felt like there is never going to be an end to this and I will spend the rest of my living days searching for my wife and children.

Yes, I fucking said the word – WIFE.  My intent when I got home from Draenor was to take her to a magistrate or to one of the monks in Pandaria and for us to get married.  Yes, that legal and binding thing that people do when they love one another with their entire being. Well, that got shot to Hell and Gone when I got back and she was missing.  In my mind and in my heart, we’re already married and have been since the day we met – I wasn’t just smitten with her physical beauty, I was smitten with her soul and her sheer love of life. Yeah, I know it’s stupid, however, I do believe in “love at first sight” because it has happened to me and I have lost all interest in other women – that was quite a shock in the womanizer that I used to be. To say that I was experienced is an understatement – I had gone on some rough mileage at times.

What brought this outburst on, you might ask?  Well, I was talking with Fnor and he mentioned that I looked a little tired and maybe I should just take some time off.  I did tell him about the way that his sister was acting with me again and that set him off on temper tantrum that seemed to be more than just his usual outburst.  I told him about her comments and the way that she had acted very recently which just made him angrier at her.  There are days that I ask myself “why me?” I do try to keep going and try to overlook a lot of her overtures’ that had ceased for a while, however, with Romy out of the picture, she is on me as a target once again.

I have known Faendra since she was a kid. Hell, she and my sister, Felessa, were best friends until she started chasing after me like a bitch in heat.  I know that this has been going on for years and has caused Fnor and I some major problems, however, it has not interfered with our friendship.  There are times when I wonder if Fnor isn’t all that bright when it comes to females and how dangerous they can be – with his experiences, he should have clue by now.

I know that Jongu has mentioned to me that he doesn’t like that other Blood Elf female that comes by the house sometimes.  He said she isn’t nice to him and thinks that she has sneaky streak and might steal things when I’m not there and he is busy doing other things.  Hmmm, that’s unusual for Jongu because he’s always liked everyone to my knowledge.  I wonder what he was hinting at, he’s a strange fellow and I like having him around and he works cheap since I told him he can sell his chicken and dumplings at the market.  I know we are still having that problem with the chickens dropping dead at the farm every once in a while, – we have still not figured out what is up with that, however, it doesn’t seem to cause any issues when we eat them.  Oh well, I’ll just keep my eyes out for that little bitch.

While I was talking with Fnor, a weird thing happened.  I either passed out or I fainted and I woke up with a healer standing over me and shaking her head.  She said I was suffering from exhaustion and that my body was showing some signs of trouble from my drinking.  Well, that wasn’t a real surprise to me, I know I have been drinking quite a bit.  She also told me that I was talking while I was out and crying – my emotions seemed more than a little bit raw. 

The weird thing that happened was I was talking and I heard my daughter’s voice like she was standing there with Fnor and I.  I felt my heart give a lurch when I heard the voice and I passed out.  How can she be here and not here?  I know that I still have a chill when I think about it, I don’t want to think that she is in the afterlife and it was her spirit talking to me – she can’t be dead and neither can Romy and my son be dead.  I won’t believe it, I refuse to believe.  Anyway, long story short, she told me to take some time off and possibly get out of Pandaria for a while and go back to the Eastern Kingdoms, get some rest and see if I can’t quieten my mind some.

I told Fnor what the healer had told me and he told me to go back to Silvermoon and stay at the house there for a while.  He would get in touch with Agatha to let her know that I was coming and to make sure that she keeps Faendra away from me if she should show up.  So, I am going to take the advice and take some time off, drop the letter from the healer off in Orgrimmar and go home for a while to Silvermoon.

 

Fnar Dawnglory

 

 

 

As always…with more to come


Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author
June 2nd
Dear Journal,
My heart truly does go out to Dawnglory and all the grief that he is going through since his woman and his children are still missing.  I have done everything that I can to help him and we’re all coming up empty handed and my worry is that they might be lost forever, who knows?  I know that I am watching him spiral down as he just worries himself to death, literally.
Poor fellow has always been a bit of a womanizer and I never did think that he would ever get to the point to where he would be able to settle down and have a family, however, once he met that little redheaded girl from Northrend, he was smitten and he is truly in love with her.  I have never seen anyone change as drastically as he did.   He has never been one to do things in moderation and I guess that he had to go completely to the extreme with his love for this woman and his children are beautiful – as handsome as their parents.  Poor fellow is looking a bit worn these days and I told him I would take care of things for him with the business and try to get Zippie kicked up to peak with bonuses being offered for information about Romy and the children.
Thank the Light, Amyn and I are doing okay and we can slip away together now and again, even with all the demons running amuck on the Shore.  At least we can steal some time alone.  Kaldor had to follow his parents up here to the Isles as well and one would think that he could have avoided it a little longer or at least until he got things finalized with Kae.   Ah well, it seems like we are always going to have to take those stolen moments as a norm for us, it’s always been that way.
I know I had my hands full for a while with Amyn and the children for a while because they were all grieving for the loss of Varian Wrynn.  I know that we lost our Warchief and now we have the Banshee Queen as the new leader for the Horde.  What a crazy mixed up world this is.   I’ll have to admit that I did have a great deal of respect for the Wolf and his people will miss him greatly.  His son, Anduin, does show some promise if his advisors lead him in the right direction.  Poor kid, both parents are gone now and the only people he has close to him are not family.  Hopefully, Jania Proudmore is not anywhere nearby with her mental instability.
I sure wish that my sons were a bit more adept at doing some of the things that might serve them in the future – my step-sons are a handful and their Mother, Amyn, really has her hands full with them most of the time, however, they are old enough to help her with her part of the business in Stormwind.  I can’t recall if Kaldor and Vashlan were that much of a handful.   Well, Vash always seemed to be the one that was a bit Sindorei than his Kaldorei blood would admit, poor kid is as much as a clothes horse as I am and maybe a bit more with all the robes that he has purchased.  Amyn is very aware that he is still out chasing skirts and hopes that he will settle down soon – I guess he is taking after his Dad which really kind of embarrasses me somewhat because I can see a lot of myself in him.
Well, I suppose I should stop prattling here for a while and try to get back to writing in my journal a bit more so that I can gather my thoughts and get my mind off the Legion for a while.
Fnar Morningstar

February 8th – Ponderings


Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

 

February 8th

 

Dear Journal,

Whew!  I think I have finally gotten the stench of Fel out of my hair and now I’m cleaning my armor of the debris that I always seem to pick up these days.  Luckily, the Fel isn’t as acidic as I’ve discovered in other areas that will slowly corrode the armor and cause it to become somewhat weak at certain points.  I think that Amyn and I both need to start considering getting some replacement armor soon because we’re starting to look a bit more battle worn than usual.  The only good thing about the Broken Isles has been the fact that we can spend time together without people being any wiser – who cares what a Sentinel and Ranger are doing if you have demons breathing down your neck every time you leave your Hall?  It does remind me of the time we spent in Outland all those years ago, when we would venture out together to get things done for the company – it was fun back then, now, it’s just another chore added to our list of things that we must get completed in a timely manner.  I’ve been involved in some messy campaigns in the past, however, with the Legion invading while we were doing our duty in Draenor has stretched my loyalty to the limit. I know that Amyn and I laughed at the fact that we’re just getting too damned old for this stuff, however, we do it for our people and for our children.

Of course, we’re still very discreet when we are in public because one never knows if one might have caused someone some concern with how friendly we appear to be, considering the factions are still miles apart in what they believe is the way to live.  At least we’re not trapped in Draenor anymore with a Garrison full of people that would be all too happy to cause issues for their commanders.  Oh, we still remember all too well how much we both enjoyed some of the more secluded places in Shadowmoon with clear sparkling water with shelter from the weather.  We’re keeping out home in Halfhill like we normally do and enjoy going back there frequently these days.

I enjoyed my time in Draenor for the most part because I could see my wife and our son, Kal, almost as much as I wanted but my heart still goes out to the people that couldn’t ever seem to get the leaves they needed to return to Azeroth.   I know that Draenor cost Dawnglory more than anyone would ever imagine and I hope that he will be able to endure the pain that it has caused him – to lose your woman and your children while you’re off doing your duty must be the worst feeling a man could ever have.  I know that he is extremely lonely and, at times, bitter for the loss even though he tries to keep that hidden.  He is still looking for them too.  He still has transferred to the Broken Isles yet and I think that that is probably for the best because I know how he gets when he is grieving about something.   He tends to take his frustrations out with wild daring actions which will eventually get him killed.

I know that I am really kind of happy that Amyn and I seem to have more time together these days although I will admit that I miss the boys quite a bit.  We’ve talked about setting up some time for the whole family to meet at the house in Nagrand Continue reading

Life In Draenor … And Beyhond


 

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

 

March 13th

 

Dear Journal,

 

I am extremely lucky to be one of the few men that has their wife here in Draenor.  I know that some of my comrades in arms would be astounded that my wife is a Kaldorei, however, it was a choice that I made quite a few years ago and have lived this double life for more years than I care to think about.  It doesn’t matter, at least she is here and we’re not separated by these damned travel restrictions that the Horde leadership seems to be planning on enforcing indefinitely.

 

I know that I have heard that our business in Orgrimmar is booming and Zippie is already asking for more help to keep things organized there as well as in Silvermoon and Shattrath City – our Shattrath, not this facsimile here in Draenor. I don’t think that I can recall so many contracts from the Council for deserters in Azeroth before either – can’t say that I blame them all that much other than what the penalties are going to be for some of them.  Poor buggers paid a small fortune to some mage to get them out of Draenor or possibly some warlock that came out of hiding long enough to have them summoned to Azeroth, at what cost of their souls, I’ve no clue.  At least Zippie sends me the more serious cases before giving them out to our employees and contract workers – some of them have a lot more political connotations than I’d like for some of our people to work on.  We all know what a slippery slope politics can be.

 

One thing that I will have to admit is that I do enjoy going to Shadowmoon Valley to visit with Amyn for several reasons.  I get visit with my loving wife and I get to thaw my bones out.  Why is it that the Horde feels the need to make everything for Orcs and the esthetics are left in the wind for the other races.  I know that every building in my garrison is definitely drafty and gives the impression of being just stone, iron and a little mud hut thrown in for flavor.  The Alliance folks are at least given places that are or seem to be more civilized in appearance than ours are.  Oh well, this is the way that it has always been and I suppose will always be.  I know my garrison reminds me of Northrend in the old days.  Snow and ice with the wind thrown in for fun, I suppose.  I never liked being out of Dalaran all that much in the old days either – I do miss my home there something terrible sometimes and I try not to dwell on all of the things that happened to change our relationships there.

 

Well, I thought I was going to have a quiet morning and be able to get a few personal things done here in Frostfire, however, it appears as though I have other duties that need my attention and that thwarts my relaxation.  Even Pan is grumbling about it because he was getting all snuggled down in some furs and was snoring away.  Ah well, off we go and I’ll try to get my thoughts written down another day.

 

Fnor Morningstar

 

 

Draenor…Almost A Year…


 

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

 

November 10th

Dear Journal,

I will have to admit that I think that I am getting too old for this kind of duty these days.  Draenor has definitely left me feeling more than a little bit bitter with the way that we seem to be isolated from most of the things that we have taken for granted most of our lives.  Here and now, those things are definitely out of our reach if we don’t have the “special” permission granted to a select few people. I miss the liberties that I have had in the past and the ability to take care of things other than my military service.  Oh well, one can only hope that this will end sometime in the near future.

I can say that I am one of the lucky ones here because my wife is here although the circumstances are a bit odd considering that she is not a member of the Horde, however, not a whole lot of people know a lot about my private life and never have nor will in the future.

My heart truly does go out to Dawnglory, the poor man is just miserable here in Draenor and he is in the same boat as myself – we’ve been given command of garrisons that neither one of us wanted to begin with as well as having our travel restricted.  Dawnglory’s woman was pregnant with their second child when he left and he is really getting concerned that the child will be born before he ever gets to go home again.  At least he seems to be getting his mail from her on a regular basis, however, that’s not the same as being with someone that you love, that is one thing that I am very familiar with.  I still miss my friends and family that aren’t here in Draenor and I truly miss the comforts of my home.

I know that I haven’t been the best commander in Draenor because it’s not something that I am accustomed too.  I have always commanded Rangers and I know the criteria for that, however, managing and implementing things for an entire garrison has been more of a headache than even I thought it could be.  I have my own business and I think that I can handle that a whole lot better than I can my garrison because I can delegate things to my employees and know that they will get the tasks done, however, with this garrison detail – I have to constantly be present and constantly checking to make sure that everything is being done correctly.  It’s more of being a parent to a bunch of unruly children than it is to be leading a compliment of military people.

I can’t believe that we have been in Draenor for the better part of the year and it seems as though it is never-ending some days.  I know that my higher ups are probably wondering why they aren’t getting the monthly request for leave away from my command these days, however, I don’t think that it would behoove me to rock the boat with Amyn already here in Draenor, although I would dearly love to see my children and the rest of my family that are still in Azeroth.

I thought that things were bad enough with being in command of the garrison and now they have added in a shipyard for me to attend too as well.   My knowledge of things nautical is very limited and I have to think that someone made a serious mistake with dumping that responsibility in my lap.  My knowledge of ships and how to do the tactical battles  for them is so limited that each time I send out a ship, my heart is just pounding and I just hope the crews and ships return safely.

I know that I have been going with my patrols into the Tanaan Jungle in the last couple of months and the further we scout into the area, the more concerned that I am.  There is something seriously amiss in that area and reminds me too much of the experiences that we had to deal with in Outland all those years ago.    I know that the stench of Fel magic is very strong in that area and as a Blood Elf, I always feel as if I am stepping back in time when our race was ravaged with the severe addiction that almost did us in.  I have to remind myself constantly that once you’re addicted, you’re always addicted and you have to be aware of the fact or you might fall into that trap again.

I don’t know how some of my people are handling the constant exposure to the magic in Tanaan because I know how it affects me.  Do our commanders realize what they are doing with their troops by bringing us back into contact with such things?  Demons, I don’t think that I have seen as many demons running amuck since I left Outland and it concerns me.  Will these things follow us back to Azeroth when we return, are we going to have to repel another invasions of these horrid things?    I think that I have valid questions and concerns and I have yet to get an answer from those people sitting on their backsides in Orgrimmar.

Oh well, enough of my grumbling and negative thoughts, I need to get up and try to get my mind going in a more positive direction.  I have patrols to send out as well as doing some scouting of my own.  Maybe I will take some time to do some hunting with Pan today and do some fishing – just the two of us like we used to do before we came to Draenor.

Fnor Morningstar

 

 

 

 

Time Is Standing Still…


Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

 

August 8th

Dear Journal,

I feel as if I can’t awaken myself from a dream and that time is currently standing still for me.  Oh, I can move around and go about my daily duties and do all of the things that are expected of me, however, there is no feeling of time progressing, it’s as if we’re all stuck on a treadmill and will be doing the same tasks into eternity.  Rather depressing when you stop and think about it, however, that’s how I feel currently.

I know that I was absolutely delighted and thrilled that my wife had made the journey to Draenor and I knew roughly where she was and we have actually a way of staying in touch with one another with no one being the wiser.  Of course, it does require a bit more danger and more travel time for me, however, just to know that she is here is enough to make my heart lighten a bit – the loneliness has been the worst I’ve ever experienced.  Could be that my age is finally catching up with me or that I am finally getting to the point that I only want one particular woman in my life.

I know that my son is probably pretty happy that his Mother is here even if that means she is going to be scrutinizing his relationship endlessly and making her thoughts known as only Amyn can.  Poor Kal, I know that he is playing coy and not wanting to make a full commitment with Kae just yet, however, I know that Amyn wants him to settle down as a good Kaldorei should – however, the poor kid has a lot of Sindorei  blood in him, which might make that rather difficult for a while longer.  I wonder how many times Kal and I both have heard Amyn say “You’re just like your Father!”  when she is displeased with something that Kal has done.  Ah well, Kal has proven to me that he is his own man and that he will know when he wants to do certain things in his life.  I know that he has no trouble making a commitment when it comes to doing his duty, it’s his personal commitments that seem to be the ones that he is hesitant in doing – some things are for “life” and some things change.  Kal is still a fairly young man and I would hate to see him make a commitment to something if he is not ready for it – Amyn and I have had some rather heated arguments  about this and from our own history, she needs to realize what is involved.

I know that I have actually kind of fallen in love with the atmosphere and the appearance of Shadowmoon Valley and would like to spend more time in the area with Amyn, however, there are so many Kaldorei there that it would be rather difficult to pull that off for an extended period of time.  I know that the people under my own command are always curious as to why I like to patrol Shadowmoon on my own rather than taking a company with me – I have taken a bodyguard with me occasionally, however, that has been a rarity.

I know taking the trip from the harshness of the weather presented in my Garrison to Shadowmoon Valley is definitely almost dreamlike in quality.  Frostfire is always letting me know that it is Horde way of life, the in your face cold, the weather going from freezing cold to blizzard conditions in the blink of an eye – it’s reminds me too much of the time I spent in Northrend chasing the scourge down.

 

I wonder how much longer we will be in Draenor?  I just get the feelings in my gut that we should be paying closer attention to what is going on at home because we have too many of our troops stationed here.  My mind and my heart keep telling me that I should be in Azeroth and not here pushing paperwork around like some clerk.

Fnor Morningstar

Thinking of Things in the Past…Looking Forward


 

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

 

May 31st

Dear Journal,

I’m sitting here on the front steps of my headquarters in the Garrison and wondering about a whole plethora of  things that I have been thinking about since we came to Draenor.  I would like to say that I am sitting here in my robes, coffee and cigarettes at the ready, however, that is not the case.  It’s too damned cold to be sitting around in robes and I always seem to be stuck in my usual uniform of armor and weapons at the ready – you never know when some fool will decide to attack your Garrison even though we’re fully armed to the teeth and have yet met any kind of defeat from the useless attacks.

I wish I could just sit here and enjoy what little bit of sunlight and warmth we get in this Light Forsaken tundra without people walking by, snapping too and saluting before they move only if I return the salutation.  I would love to be sitting on the steps in Halfhill on the farm, what the plants grown and feeling the warm sunlight, birds singing and watching some of the non-lethal insects zipping around the crops.  I would love to be able to sit here with a hot steaming cup of my coffee for longer than five minutes and get to enjoy that wonderful aroma and flavor.  I truly miss those quiet peace times in Pandaria that we were able to enjoy there at the last.

I don’t know how anyone else feels about being in Draenor, however,  I am one of those people that only thinks about the time that we will finally be able to leave here.  The world seems to be vast and the people that we have been in contact with are really hospitable in ways that I wouldn’t think it were possible.  I know that we came here to fight the Iron Horde, however, there are times that I wonder how the people actually feel because it was almost like we were invading for the sake of invading.   Are we here to rescue the inhabitants or are we here to help ourselves to their resources as we have historically done in every military action.  Every time I think about the military actions that I have been involved in over the years, it makes me realize that I am getting up there in years even for a Blood Elf.

I know that it hasn’t been easy for me to keep my mind completely wrapped around the fact that I am a commander of a garrison.  I know that I have been a commander before, however, it has always been over a group of Rangers, not a conglomerate of people and resources.   I definitely feel more comfortable with the idea of dealing with Rangers than I do these other things.

No, I’m not a miner, nor a gardener nor do I feel comfortable dealing with all of the forging and the like.  No, I’m not feeling comfortable in sending people out on missions that I would much rather be a part of rather than to continue to sit in my garrison while they are off having these adventures.  I’m old school enough to feel comfortable in delegating out tasks instead of having to attend to a lot of them myself.  I’m a soldier, not an administrator – I usually hire people to take care of things like that for me.

I did get a letter from my wife and she is on her way to Draenor, that is good news and bad, all at the same time.  I know that I have been so lonely these last few months that I could hardly stand it and to think that there might be a huge possibility of us getting together in the near future is almost a numbing kind of reality.  I know that I have felt like a part of my life was missing when she hasn’t been near me and being in Draenor really brought that feeling home to me much more than any other time than we have been apart.  To hear that lilting laughter and the occasional Kaldorei curse about something that she isn’t too pleased with, is something that I have totally missed .   Unfortunately, there isn’t a neutral city in this world where we can meet, however, we have been able to get through the obstacles like that before.

I know that it is sometimes hard for me to believe that the two of us have been together for all of this time.  I was a very young man when we met in the Northern Barrens and she was a very young Sentinel on her first assignment in the area.  I sit here and smile whenever I think about all of those strange circumstances that brought us together  all those years ago.  The fact that we should have been sworn enemies really never deterred us from letting our relationship  grow – it may have been the fact that it was exciting and different and we were at the rebellious stages in our life, I’ll never know for sure, however, I know that there is no doubt in my mind that I am still very much in love with my wife and she with me.  To think that we have two sons together is some kind of miracle to me and I will never walk away from that, our children are true extensions of ourselves.

I wonder sometimes how some of my friends would react if they knew that my “wife” that I seem to keep hidden away and protected is a Kaldorei.  I think that a few of them would be okay with it, however, there are a couple that would call me a traitor amongst other things because of the fact that I am supposedly sleeping with the enemy.   I know I definitely wouldn’t give up my mate/wife for any of the political beliefs that I have – I would give everything that I have away to just be able to go somewhere with my wife and live together in peace.

I have also gotten another refusal on my request for leave as well as the request that I put in to resign my commission and to be able to return to Azeroth.  It sure doesn’t seem fair and almost ironic that here we are in a strange place, our home is far away and yet, our duty is needed here.  I wish I could understand the vision of leaders a bit more, which does seem strange, I have yet to see anyone of any greater importance other than an Ambassador show up  to make the Horde presence truly known in that political arena.   This whole thing just seems off kilter in more ways than one.

At least my portals seem to be working here in the Garrison today, which is always a nice thing when you consider what we had to go through before my mages got their acts together.  There could be some underlying magic that I am not acquainted with the keep us from doing certain things in a manner that we have grown accustomed too over the centuries.  Draenor is a beautiful place in a lot of ways, however, I think that we are not adapting  to the environment as well as I might have expected, it could be from the fact that we are so isolated from our own world and timeline – I know it makes me nervous to think about it.

Ah well, I guess Pan and I should get up and start walking around acting like we’re actually in charge of things here and do some o four walks throughout.  It sure does get old when all I long for is to leave this place and not return or at least do something that challenges me as a man and a soldier.

Fnor Morningstar