As always…with more to come

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author
June 2nd
Dear Journal,
My heart truly does go out to Dawnglory and all the grief that he is going through since his woman and his children are still missing.  I have done everything that I can to help him and we’re all coming up empty handed and my worry is that they might be lost forever, who knows?  I know that I am watching him spiral down as he just worries himself to death, literally.
Poor fellow has always been a bit of a womanizer and I never did think that he would ever get to the point to where he would be able to settle down and have a family, however, once he met that little redheaded girl from Northrend, he was smitten and he is truly in love with her.  I have never seen anyone change as drastically as he did.   He has never been one to do things in moderation and I guess that he had to go completely to the extreme with his love for this woman and his children are beautiful – as handsome as their parents.  Poor fellow is looking a bit worn these days and I told him I would take care of things for him with the business and try to get Zippie kicked up to peak with bonuses being offered for information about Romy and the children.
Thank the Light, Amyn and I are doing okay and we can slip away together now and again, even with all the demons running amuck on the Shore.  At least we can steal some time alone.  Kaldor had to follow his parents up here to the Isles as well and one would think that he could have avoided it a little longer or at least until he got things finalized with Kae.   Ah well, it seems like we are always going to have to take those stolen moments as a norm for us, it’s always been that way.
I know I had my hands full for a while with Amyn and the children for a while because they were all grieving for the loss of Varian Wrynn.  I know that we lost our Warchief and now we have the Banshee Queen as the new leader for the Horde.  What a crazy mixed up world this is.   I’ll have to admit that I did have a great deal of respect for the Wolf and his people will miss him greatly.  His son, Anduin, does show some promise if his advisors lead him in the right direction.  Poor kid, both parents are gone now and the only people he has close to him are not family.  Hopefully, Jania Proudmore is not anywhere nearby with her mental instability.
I sure wish that my sons were a bit more adept at doing some of the things that might serve them in the future – my step-sons are a handful and their Mother, Amyn, really has her hands full with them most of the time, however, they are old enough to help her with her part of the business in Stormwind.  I can’t recall if Kaldor and Vashlan were that much of a handful.   Well, Vash always seemed to be the one that was a bit Sindorei than his Kaldorei blood would admit, poor kid is as much as a clothes horse as I am and maybe a bit more with all the robes that he has purchased.  Amyn is very aware that he is still out chasing skirts and hopes that he will settle down soon – I guess he is taking after his Dad which really kind of embarrasses me somewhat because I can see a lot of myself in him.
Well, I suppose I should stop prattling here for a while and try to get back to writing in my journal a bit more so that I can gather my thoughts and get my mind off the Legion for a while.
Fnar Morningstar

February 8th – Ponderings

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

 

February 8th

 

Dear Journal,

Whew!  I think I have finally gotten the stench of Fel out of my hair and now I’m cleaning my armor of the debris that I always seem to pick up these days.  Luckily, the Fel isn’t as acidic as I’ve discovered in other areas that will slowly corrode the armor and cause it to become somewhat weak at certain points.  I think that Amyn and I both need to start considering getting some replacement armor soon because we’re starting to look a bit more battle worn than usual.  The only good thing about the Broken Isles has been the fact that we can spend time together without people being any wiser – who cares what a Sentinel and Ranger are doing if you have demons breathing down your neck every time you leave your Hall?  It does remind me of the time we spent in Outland all those years ago, when we would venture out together to get things done for the company – it was fun back then, now, it’s just another chore added to our list of things that we must get completed in a timely manner.  I’ve been involved in some messy campaigns in the past, however, with the Legion invading while we were doing our duty in Draenor has stretched my loyalty to the limit. I know that Amyn and I laughed at the fact that we’re just getting too damned old for this stuff, however, we do it for our people and for our children.

Of course, we’re still very discreet when we are in public because one never knows if one might have caused someone some concern with how friendly we appear to be, considering the factions are still miles apart in what they believe is the way to live.  At least we’re not trapped in Draenor anymore with a Garrison full of people that would be all too happy to cause issues for their commanders.  Oh, we still remember all too well how much we both enjoyed some of the more secluded places in Shadowmoon with clear sparkling water with shelter from the weather.  We’re keeping out home in Halfhill like we normally do and enjoy going back there frequently these days.

I enjoyed my time in Draenor for the most part because I could see my wife and our son, Kal, almost as much as I wanted but my heart still goes out to the people that couldn’t ever seem to get the leaves they needed to return to Azeroth.   I know that Draenor cost Dawnglory more than anyone would ever imagine and I hope that he will be able to endure the pain that it has caused him – to lose your woman and your children while you’re off doing your duty must be the worst feeling a man could ever have.  I know that he is extremely lonely and, at times, bitter for the loss even though he tries to keep that hidden.  He is still looking for them too.  He still has transferred to the Broken Isles yet and I think that that is probably for the best because I know how he gets when he is grieving about something.   He tends to take his frustrations out with wild daring actions which will eventually get him killed.

I know that I am really kind of happy that Amyn and I seem to have more time together these days although I will admit that I miss the boys quite a bit.  We’ve talked about setting up some time for the whole family to meet at the house in Nagrand Continue reading

Life In Draenor … And Beyhond

 

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

 

March 13th

 

Dear Journal,

 

I am extremely lucky to be one of the few men that has their wife here in Draenor.  I know that some of my comrades in arms would be astounded that my wife is a Kaldorei, however, it was a choice that I made quite a few years ago and have lived this double life for more years than I care to think about.  It doesn’t matter, at least she is here and we’re not separated by these damned travel restrictions that the Horde leadership seems to be planning on enforcing indefinitely.

 

I know that I have heard that our business in Orgrimmar is booming and Zippie is already asking for more help to keep things organized there as well as in Silvermoon and Shattrath City – our Shattrath, not this facsimile here in Draenor. I don’t think that I can recall so many contracts from the Council for deserters in Azeroth before either – can’t say that I blame them all that much other than what the penalties are going to be for some of them.  Poor buggers paid a small fortune to some mage to get them out of Draenor or possibly some warlock that came out of hiding long enough to have them summoned to Azeroth, at what cost of their souls, I’ve no clue.  At least Zippie sends me the more serious cases before giving them out to our employees and contract workers – some of them have a lot more political connotations than I’d like for some of our people to work on.  We all know what a slippery slope politics can be.

 

One thing that I will have to admit is that I do enjoy going to Shadowmoon Valley to visit with Amyn for several reasons.  I get visit with my loving wife and I get to thaw my bones out.  Why is it that the Horde feels the need to make everything for Orcs and the esthetics are left in the wind for the other races.  I know that every building in my garrison is definitely drafty and gives the impression of being just stone, iron and a little mud hut thrown in for flavor.  The Alliance folks are at least given places that are or seem to be more civilized in appearance than ours are.  Oh well, this is the way that it has always been and I suppose will always be.  I know my garrison reminds me of Northrend in the old days.  Snow and ice with the wind thrown in for fun, I suppose.  I never liked being out of Dalaran all that much in the old days either – I do miss my home there something terrible sometimes and I try not to dwell on all of the things that happened to change our relationships there.

 

Well, I thought I was going to have a quiet morning and be able to get a few personal things done here in Frostfire, however, it appears as though I have other duties that need my attention and that thwarts my relaxation.  Even Pan is grumbling about it because he was getting all snuggled down in some furs and was snoring away.  Ah well, off we go and I’ll try to get my thoughts written down another day.

 

Fnor Morningstar

 

 

Draenor…Almost A Year…

 

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

 

November 10th

Dear Journal,

I will have to admit that I think that I am getting too old for this kind of duty these days.  Draenor has definitely left me feeling more than a little bit bitter with the way that we seem to be isolated from most of the things that we have taken for granted most of our lives.  Here and now, those things are definitely out of our reach if we don’t have the “special” permission granted to a select few people. I miss the liberties that I have had in the past and the ability to take care of things other than my military service.  Oh well, one can only hope that this will end sometime in the near future.

I can say that I am one of the lucky ones here because my wife is here although the circumstances are a bit odd considering that she is not a member of the Horde, however, not a whole lot of people know a lot about my private life and never have nor will in the future.

My heart truly does go out to Dawnglory, the poor man is just miserable here in Draenor and he is in the same boat as myself – we’ve been given command of garrisons that neither one of us wanted to begin with as well as having our travel restricted.  Dawnglory’s woman was pregnant with their second child when he left and he is really getting concerned that the child will be born before he ever gets to go home again.  At least he seems to be getting his mail from her on a regular basis, however, that’s not the same as being with someone that you love, that is one thing that I am very familiar with.  I still miss my friends and family that aren’t here in Draenor and I truly miss the comforts of my home.

I know that I haven’t been the best commander in Draenor because it’s not something that I am accustomed too.  I have always commanded Rangers and I know the criteria for that, however, managing and implementing things for an entire garrison has been more of a headache than even I thought it could be.  I have my own business and I think that I can handle that a whole lot better than I can my garrison because I can delegate things to my employees and know that they will get the tasks done, however, with this garrison detail – I have to constantly be present and constantly checking to make sure that everything is being done correctly.  It’s more of being a parent to a bunch of unruly children than it is to be leading a compliment of military people.

I can’t believe that we have been in Draenor for the better part of the year and it seems as though it is never-ending some days.  I know that my higher ups are probably wondering why they aren’t getting the monthly request for leave away from my command these days, however, I don’t think that it would behoove me to rock the boat with Amyn already here in Draenor, although I would dearly love to see my children and the rest of my family that are still in Azeroth.

I thought that things were bad enough with being in command of the garrison and now they have added in a shipyard for me to attend too as well.   My knowledge of things nautical is very limited and I have to think that someone made a serious mistake with dumping that responsibility in my lap.  My knowledge of ships and how to do the tactical battles  for them is so limited that each time I send out a ship, my heart is just pounding and I just hope the crews and ships return safely.

I know that I have been going with my patrols into the Tanaan Jungle in the last couple of months and the further we scout into the area, the more concerned that I am.  There is something seriously amiss in that area and reminds me too much of the experiences that we had to deal with in Outland all those years ago.    I know that the stench of Fel magic is very strong in that area and as a Blood Elf, I always feel as if I am stepping back in time when our race was ravaged with the severe addiction that almost did us in.  I have to remind myself constantly that once you’re addicted, you’re always addicted and you have to be aware of the fact or you might fall into that trap again.

I don’t know how some of my people are handling the constant exposure to the magic in Tanaan because I know how it affects me.  Do our commanders realize what they are doing with their troops by bringing us back into contact with such things?  Demons, I don’t think that I have seen as many demons running amuck since I left Outland and it concerns me.  Will these things follow us back to Azeroth when we return, are we going to have to repel another invasions of these horrid things?    I think that I have valid questions and concerns and I have yet to get an answer from those people sitting on their backsides in Orgrimmar.

Oh well, enough of my grumbling and negative thoughts, I need to get up and try to get my mind going in a more positive direction.  I have patrols to send out as well as doing some scouting of my own.  Maybe I will take some time to do some hunting with Pan today and do some fishing – just the two of us like we used to do before we came to Draenor.

Fnor Morningstar

 

 

 

 

Time Is Standing Still…

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

 

August 8th

Dear Journal,

I feel as if I can’t awaken myself from a dream and that time is currently standing still for me.  Oh, I can move around and go about my daily duties and do all of the things that are expected of me, however, there is no feeling of time progressing, it’s as if we’re all stuck on a treadmill and will be doing the same tasks into eternity.  Rather depressing when you stop and think about it, however, that’s how I feel currently.

I know that I was absolutely delighted and thrilled that my wife had made the journey to Draenor and I knew roughly where she was and we have actually a way of staying in touch with one another with no one being the wiser.  Of course, it does require a bit more danger and more travel time for me, however, just to know that she is here is enough to make my heart lighten a bit – the loneliness has been the worst I’ve ever experienced.  Could be that my age is finally catching up with me or that I am finally getting to the point that I only want one particular woman in my life.

I know that my son is probably pretty happy that his Mother is here even if that means she is going to be scrutinizing his relationship endlessly and making her thoughts known as only Amyn can.  Poor Kal, I know that he is playing coy and not wanting to make a full commitment with Kae just yet, however, I know that Amyn wants him to settle down as a good Kaldorei should – however, the poor kid has a lot of Sindorei  blood in him, which might make that rather difficult for a while longer.  I wonder how many times Kal and I both have heard Amyn say “You’re just like your Father!”  when she is displeased with something that Kal has done.  Ah well, Kal has proven to me that he is his own man and that he will know when he wants to do certain things in his life.  I know that he has no trouble making a commitment when it comes to doing his duty, it’s his personal commitments that seem to be the ones that he is hesitant in doing – some things are for “life” and some things change.  Kal is still a fairly young man and I would hate to see him make a commitment to something if he is not ready for it – Amyn and I have had some rather heated arguments  about this and from our own history, she needs to realize what is involved.

I know that I have actually kind of fallen in love with the atmosphere and the appearance of Shadowmoon Valley and would like to spend more time in the area with Amyn, however, there are so many Kaldorei there that it would be rather difficult to pull that off for an extended period of time.  I know that the people under my own command are always curious as to why I like to patrol Shadowmoon on my own rather than taking a company with me – I have taken a bodyguard with me occasionally, however, that has been a rarity.

I know taking the trip from the harshness of the weather presented in my Garrison to Shadowmoon Valley is definitely almost dreamlike in quality.  Frostfire is always letting me know that it is Horde way of life, the in your face cold, the weather going from freezing cold to blizzard conditions in the blink of an eye – it’s reminds me too much of the time I spent in Northrend chasing the scourge down.

 

I wonder how much longer we will be in Draenor?  I just get the feelings in my gut that we should be paying closer attention to what is going on at home because we have too many of our troops stationed here.  My mind and my heart keep telling me that I should be in Azeroth and not here pushing paperwork around like some clerk.

Fnor Morningstar

Thinking of Things in the Past…Looking Forward

 

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

 

May 31st

Dear Journal,

I’m sitting here on the front steps of my headquarters in the Garrison and wondering about a whole plethora of  things that I have been thinking about since we came to Draenor.  I would like to say that I am sitting here in my robes, coffee and cigarettes at the ready, however, that is not the case.  It’s too damned cold to be sitting around in robes and I always seem to be stuck in my usual uniform of armor and weapons at the ready – you never know when some fool will decide to attack your Garrison even though we’re fully armed to the teeth and have yet met any kind of defeat from the useless attacks.

I wish I could just sit here and enjoy what little bit of sunlight and warmth we get in this Light Forsaken tundra without people walking by, snapping too and saluting before they move only if I return the salutation.  I would love to be sitting on the steps in Halfhill on the farm, what the plants grown and feeling the warm sunlight, birds singing and watching some of the non-lethal insects zipping around the crops.  I would love to be able to sit here with a hot steaming cup of my coffee for longer than five minutes and get to enjoy that wonderful aroma and flavor.  I truly miss those quiet peace times in Pandaria that we were able to enjoy there at the last.

I don’t know how anyone else feels about being in Draenor, however,  I am one of those people that only thinks about the time that we will finally be able to leave here.  The world seems to be vast and the people that we have been in contact with are really hospitable in ways that I wouldn’t think it were possible.  I know that we came here to fight the Iron Horde, however, there are times that I wonder how the people actually feel because it was almost like we were invading for the sake of invading.   Are we here to rescue the inhabitants or are we here to help ourselves to their resources as we have historically done in every military action.  Every time I think about the military actions that I have been involved in over the years, it makes me realize that I am getting up there in years even for a Blood Elf.

I know that it hasn’t been easy for me to keep my mind completely wrapped around the fact that I am a commander of a garrison.  I know that I have been a commander before, however, it has always been over a group of Rangers, not a conglomerate of people and resources.   I definitely feel more comfortable with the idea of dealing with Rangers than I do these other things.

No, I’m not a miner, nor a gardener nor do I feel comfortable dealing with all of the forging and the like.  No, I’m not feeling comfortable in sending people out on missions that I would much rather be a part of rather than to continue to sit in my garrison while they are off having these adventures.  I’m old school enough to feel comfortable in delegating out tasks instead of having to attend to a lot of them myself.  I’m a soldier, not an administrator – I usually hire people to take care of things like that for me.

I did get a letter from my wife and she is on her way to Draenor, that is good news and bad, all at the same time.  I know that I have been so lonely these last few months that I could hardly stand it and to think that there might be a huge possibility of us getting together in the near future is almost a numbing kind of reality.  I know that I have felt like a part of my life was missing when she hasn’t been near me and being in Draenor really brought that feeling home to me much more than any other time than we have been apart.  To hear that lilting laughter and the occasional Kaldorei curse about something that she isn’t too pleased with, is something that I have totally missed .   Unfortunately, there isn’t a neutral city in this world where we can meet, however, we have been able to get through the obstacles like that before.

I know that it is sometimes hard for me to believe that the two of us have been together for all of this time.  I was a very young man when we met in the Northern Barrens and she was a very young Sentinel on her first assignment in the area.  I sit here and smile whenever I think about all of those strange circumstances that brought us together  all those years ago.  The fact that we should have been sworn enemies really never deterred us from letting our relationship  grow – it may have been the fact that it was exciting and different and we were at the rebellious stages in our life, I’ll never know for sure, however, I know that there is no doubt in my mind that I am still very much in love with my wife and she with me.  To think that we have two sons together is some kind of miracle to me and I will never walk away from that, our children are true extensions of ourselves.

I wonder sometimes how some of my friends would react if they knew that my “wife” that I seem to keep hidden away and protected is a Kaldorei.  I think that a few of them would be okay with it, however, there are a couple that would call me a traitor amongst other things because of the fact that I am supposedly sleeping with the enemy.   I know I definitely wouldn’t give up my mate/wife for any of the political beliefs that I have – I would give everything that I have away to just be able to go somewhere with my wife and live together in peace.

I have also gotten another refusal on my request for leave as well as the request that I put in to resign my commission and to be able to return to Azeroth.  It sure doesn’t seem fair and almost ironic that here we are in a strange place, our home is far away and yet, our duty is needed here.  I wish I could understand the vision of leaders a bit more, which does seem strange, I have yet to see anyone of any greater importance other than an Ambassador show up  to make the Horde presence truly known in that political arena.   This whole thing just seems off kilter in more ways than one.

At least my portals seem to be working here in the Garrison today, which is always a nice thing when you consider what we had to go through before my mages got their acts together.  There could be some underlying magic that I am not acquainted with the keep us from doing certain things in a manner that we have grown accustomed too over the centuries.  Draenor is a beautiful place in a lot of ways, however, I think that we are not adapting  to the environment as well as I might have expected, it could be from the fact that we are so isolated from our own world and timeline – I know it makes me nervous to think about it.

Ah well, I guess Pan and I should get up and start walking around acting like we’re actually in charge of things here and do some o four walks throughout.  It sure does get old when all I long for is to leave this place and not return or at least do something that challenges me as a man and a soldier.

Fnor Morningstar

 

 

Hard Decisions…

April 26th

Dear Journal,

I think that I have finally made up my mind as to what I am going to do.  I am tired of sitting here in Stormwind and trying to cope with the business and trying to cope with being apart from Sindorei.  It is started to cause me quite a bit of trouble because my mind is constantly straying to the man that I love.

It has been months since the conflict started with Iron Horde on Draenor and it has been months since I have been able to see my Sindorei.  I know that everyone thought that the whole thing wouldn’t take a long time and that everyone would be able to come back home pretty quickly or at least be able to come home to see their families.   There are mages that are sending supplies and troops back forth to the areas there and there are some mages that are even sending people back home for a price.

I fear that what has happened is that the military has decided that they are going to keep men away from their families in order to finish what was started in Draenor these many months ago.  I can understand why everyone feels the responsibility of trying to ride this sort of thing out, however, those men that are constantly fighting need a time away from the battles and need to see their loved ones.  I know that I can’t be the only person that is feeling the yearning of not being able to see my husband and to know that the is okay too – we used to get leaves to come home in all of the other conflicts, why aren’t the people allowed to do so now?  Is it the cost of the magic or is there some other evil afoot that we are unable to step away from?

I have already made up my mind as to what I am going to do and should have acted upon it months ago.  Since my Sindorei is not able to make his way back to Azeroth for whatever reason, I am going to go to this Draenor to find him and have an opportunity to be with him.  We have always found a way to be together here on Azeroth, I don’t think that we will have that much trouble finding a way to do the same things in Draenor.  I say that enough is enough and I’m going to take matters in my own hands and rejoin my Sentinel group that I had taken a leave of absence before all of this conflict started again.

Magdamia will just have to get used to the idea of running things again and I am in hopes that she will get over her dislike of the way that things are setup in Shattrath and do the job professionally with Zippie.  I get along very well with Zippie and will have to admit that Magdamia can be rather biased in her feelings, she’s not overly fond of Worgen, however, she has learned to deal with them respectfully.  I know that her whole attitude needs to change with her dealings with goblins because she will have to do that quite a bit in Shattrath and she will have to get over her inability to accept the fact that Fnor and I are the owners of the company and we have been dealing with both factions for years.  Of course, we’re the odd couple because he is Sindorei and I am Kaldorei, our relationship was definitely one that could have been deadly in years past, however, in the open cities such as Shattrath and once upon a time, Dalaran, we were accepted to a certain point.

I know that I have made up my mind and will do what needs to be done even if I am torn with the thoughts of leaving my two youngest sons and my parents behind here in as well as Vashlan, although he is almost fully grown at this point and very much involved with his magic.   At least I will have a chance to see Kaldor and Kae when I get to Draenor and then, my true object of yearning thoughts, I’ll be able to track my Sindorei down.

Oh, how much can a woman miss her husband when she remembers every little thing that he does? The way he laughs, the sheer scent of the man that would fill my nostrils as we lay together in our bed.  I miss that long black hair trailing across my shoulders when he would lean in for a kiss or even to just nuzzle my neck affectionately.  I miss those tender endearing words in Thalassian that only he could whisper in my ear as he held me in his arms.  Yes, I miss all of those physical things, however, I truly miss that feeling that we shared together of being almost spiritually joined.  I feel like half of my being is missing when I am unable to reach out and touch his hand from time to time.

This Draenor thing has made it hard for me to feel that he and I are in the same plane of existence because we aren’t.  He’s off in some other time and place and I feel that void, that lack of connection is almost unbearable.  At least when I knew that he was in Azeroth somewhere, I could at least travel to where he was rather easily or he could travel to where I was without any trouble at all.  Now, things are different and I am almost afraid that all of these people that are in Draenor are actually cutoff from their loved ones and there is no way to guarantee that it won’t be permanent in some way.  When and if we finally all return to our own time and place, will we still have that connection like we have had in the past or is this feeling of complete separation going to linger on after we return?

Yes, I’ve made up my mind, I am going to turn everything over to Magdamia and I am going to go to Draenor to be with my son and his Father again.  It’s the only thing that I can think of doing that will bring us all back together again.  Yes, I will miss my sons that I leave behind here on Azeroth, however, I know that what I am planning on doing is something that I have to do to make sure that our family survives all of the things that I feel might be coming in the future.

I know that I keep writing that I’ve made up my mind as if I need to convince myself of it or something.  I think that the reason that I do that is because I need to convince myself that it is the right thing to do and that I won’t regret the sacrifices that the family will endure with my absence.  I have everything set up and everything is in place so that there shouldn’t be any difficulties for any of them.  We can still get in touch with one another with the mail because that seems to be running the way that it should for the most part, I’m just not sure how I am going to be able to get back here to Stormwind if the need arises, hopefully things have gotten better in Draenor and we will have the freedom to travel easier to obtain.

 

Amyn