Still Searching…


April  15th

Dear Journal,

I haven’t written in a while because there just doesn’t seem much to report on or even to hang onto my memories.  I have spent months going through my Ranger training and I have put in for transfers every single time that I have been at a point where I could hopefully qualify to no avail.  I know that it is kind of hard to realize that I have spent all of these months just to track down this man that may or may not be my Father or not. Why is it so important for me to find him at this point?

I think my biggest thing is that I want him to acknowledge my existence, I want him to recognize the fact that he left my Mother to suffer the indignity of having a child out of wedlock and basically ruined her life.  I want him to know that there were consequences to his actions to take responsibility for it.  Am I being childish?  I don’t think so, I want to be able to take my real surname and feel some pride in the fact and not be just another bastard that was sired by a man having a fling with a woman of questionable morale character.

My Mother was a wonderful woman.   She was beautiful, she loved life and she really would have made some man happy because she was a very caring person.  Her one mistake in her life that allowed me to be born colored part of her life that made her feel as if she weren’t as good as her friends.  I know that her family tried to get her married off a couple of times, however, once the fact came out that she had a child already kind of killed any of the contracts that they would try to make for her.  She often times would sigh and be sad for a time after one of these marriages fell through and I could tell that it made her feel that wasn’t worthy of being happy.  I know that she would talk about my Father sometimes and I always felt that she was trying to make me realize that he wasn’t an uncaring person and that there had to be a reason why he never came back to her.

What I have been able to find out about this Dawnglory is the fact that he has always been a rounder and a drinker.  He has had many women in his life and he never has seemed to settle with just one woman because he was either afraid of the commitment or he wasn’t a person that cared for his partner enough to want to stay with him.  What little information that I had about him the last time I had any gold to buy the information was that he was in Pandaria as a second-in-command to this Fnor Morningstar.  I’ve also been able to find out something about this fellow as well – seems he’s a pretty stand-up guy and is well respected by people in Silvermoon – is that from the massive wealth that he has accumulated over the years?  I have no idea.  I just know that the two men are still Rangers and they are still serving our countrymen by doing their military duty.

I think that I can understand how people were and still are complaining about Orgrimmar.  I’m not overly fond of the place.  It’s dirty, it’s noisy and there are just too many Orcs.  I’m not saying that I dislike them or anything because I’m sure that they aren’t too thrilled with having all of these races in their city either.   I have found myself staying more in the Tauren area of the city because it seems like it is a little bit cleaner and I know that the Tauren keep things fairly quiet in their area.

I know that I was passing through the city yesterday and noticed a building that was being repaired and noticed that they were putting a sign out front and the name caught my attention.  Morningstar  Enterprises – the very same one that is in Silvermoon City too.  I guess I’ll keep my eyes peeled and do some investigating around to find out more about this Morningstar thing and maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to catch Dawnglory here in Orgrimmar and I won’t have to keep working my tail off trying to get to Pandaria or this new place that everyone is talking about.

I know that I will have to get this situation resolved before I can truly get on with my life and to have the peace of mind that I feel like I deserve.

 

Hanlin Darkstrider

No Good News…


July 15th

Dear Journal,

Time flies when you’re having a good time!  No, I’m not having a good time at the moment because I am still stuck over here with the Forsaken.  Seems like I can’t do enough or excel enough at what I do gain the recognition that I need to get transferred elsewhere.  Oh sure, there are a lot of us competing and a lot of us putting in for transfers that seem to have be done monthly.  With this place being as unpopular, you’d think that they would send the least worthy here instead of the Rangers that have been busting their behinds to get ahead.

I will admit that I am putting in as much time as I can with my duties as I can stomach, however, there is a limit as to what I am ready to do.  No, I am not going to try to schmooze my way up the ranks with these Forsaken because they literally make my skin crawl and sometimes I wonder if we aren’t being infected with some of the plague carriers.

I will have to admit that the majority of us head back to Silvermoon City whenever we have a chance to get some time off.  The first thing I do is to find a decent Inn and take a long hot bath and then grab a nice meal.  

Naturally, with gold being as tight as it is, I am still trying to make my inquiries with the magistrates in regard to the guy that I think is my Father, this has been a real expensive venture for me so far and leaves me a bit strapped when it comes to keeping my gear up to date and properly repaired.  Luckily for me, one of the fellows in my unit is also a black smith on the side, so, he’s been doing some work for me rather cheaply.  I’m sure that I’ll end up paying the price for his favors eventually, however, right now, that is far down the road.

Now, my last trip to the magistrates wasn’t nearly as costly because I was still inquiring about where this Dawnglory was in Pandaria.  Well, I was shocked out of my mind when I was told that he had resigned his position from the Rangers and his whereabouts were unknown. Oh yeah, I could find out more information if I had more gold, I’m sure.  This just makes finding him more difficult because I will have to resort to using outside sources to investigate things further.

Well, I was a bit disheartened at the news from the magistrates; however, I haven’t given up all hope in finding this man.  Of course, I am going to have to stay in the Rangers and do what I can to earn more money and still keep searching.  Ranger pay is the only real steady source of income for me right now.  Yeah, sure, I could do what some of the other guys are doing and hanging out in Murders Row earning money by doing some less than savory things, however, that makes me almost as sick to my stomach as the Forsaken.

Sometimes I get so angry at my Mother, may the Light bless her departed soul, because she could have or should have spoken out long ago. Why she didn’t do it is a question that I will always be asking myself, however, it could have been that she was ashamed of what had transpired when the “handsomest Ranger in Silvermoon” packed up and went off to war.  There she sat, pregnant, unmarried and her reputation was ruined in all the social circles although her family name and money kept her circulating.  No man of any worth wanted to marry her with a baby on her hip and no man taking responsibility for the activity.  Well, I can’t blame the people here in Silvermoon for being the way that they are, she showed quite a bit of carelessness on her part by not even getting the fellow’s full name even though she was with him more than just once from what I gathered from the family gossip. Albeit, the picture that I have of him shows him as being quite good looking and with the way that things are, I’m sure he was very charming. She was very young and very foolish and now, I have to pay the price for being here. Part of me is very bitter about how the family acted towards me when she died from a stupid case of pneumonia and put me out on the street before the funeral even happened.

Okay, Hanlin, stop whining in your wine. I’m not feeling sorry for myself, just very frustrated at my circumstances.  The man has to acknowledge me as his son and he is obligated at that point to be my parent, whether he likes it or not.  I will not go through this life as some bastard offspring.  I can’t, I won’t be accepted anywhere in our society if that is to be the case.  Sure, I can earn my way up the ranks with the Rangers; however, it would be so much easier if I had some kind of social standing other than what I have currently.

Okay, a bunch of us are going out to socialize while we can while we’re here in Silvermoon, I’ll have to watch what little gold I have and make sure that I don’t have to go hungry until I get paid again too. Well, sure, I can eat what we’re given to eat by the Forsaken; however, my imagination is too vivid to allow me to eat the stuff without retching.

Han