Just Setting Up My Goals…

This was also posted on the WoW forums for Wrymrest – Fools Company Writing Contest – just as an example of some of the things that could be written.   Also it is intended as a joke for the GM of the guild because he didn’t believe I’d be crazy enough to roll a gnome rogue.


March 21st

Dear Journal,

Well, my Mom told me that instead of asking her questions all of the time, I should start making a list of the things that I wanted to know about.  You know, those things that prey on  your mind when you’re just sitting around minding your own business.

My name is Civardi Daytripper and I’m a gnome, kind of, well, sort of.  My Mom had a moment of too much beer and fell for the persuasive tongue of a Night Elf.  Yeah, one of those slick talkers that just wanted one thing and they got it.  I can well imagine that she was surprised when she found out that she was expecting a baby – that baby was me.  At least she got a name off of the fellow so I wasn’t just some little whatsis.

Every time she gets upset with me, she tells me I’m just like my Daddy.  Well, who is my Daddy?  Where is my Daddy and why hasn’t he been back to see me?  I guess Mom didn’t really know where to find him to let him know he was going to be a Father or whatever because she was embarrassed.  I mean, I would be embarrassed if I was a girl gnome and slept with a Night Elf.  How is that even possible – I don’t want my mind to even go there because it scares me to think about it.

If I didn’t look so much like my Daddy, I guess she would forget how I came to be.  I have green hair, I grew a goatee because I thought it was cool and, yes, I’m a rogue.  Just like my Daddy – sneaky fellow that he was.  I think I’m almost as good of a rogue as he is too – I’ve heard stories about this outlaw rogue that was running around Stormwind and I wonder if that isn’t my Dad.

One of these days, I’m going to go to Stormwind and see if I can’t find him.  He’s pretty sneaky and I guess he stays out of sight most of the time, however, being as how I’m a rogue and all – we might have the same connections, you know, get to know the same kind of people and such.  I’m saving my money now and stealing anything I can get my hands on to sell so I can make that trip.

I know that I am still a young fellow and I will have to be careful when I get out into the big world more because, as my Mom puts it, there are people out there that might try to take advantage of me too.  Well, no more than how she fell for that guy.

So far, I’ve been able to get outside of the city and kill boars, trolls, wolves and a few other things that I am not sure what they were – big tall hairy things that were easy to sneak up on.  A little stealth, a little ambush and they fell like stones.   I was talking to one of my fellows here in IF and they were talking about adding some poisons to my blades and that really seemed to kill things a lot faster for me.

Oh yeah, I’m working hard to make that money.  I know that it is going to be exciting to travel to the big city of Stormwind and see the sites and get to make some new friends too.  I think I have already talked one of my buddies into going with me too.  I also ran into a dwarf by the name of Andrew Bitterbeer and he has promised to get me in touch with some people he knows in Stormwind that will be able to give me some good employment, other than my own private fund raising efforts. All I can say is, I haven’t gotten caught yet, a few close calls, just not apprehended by anyone that could hold me for long.


Civardi Daytripper


DO NOT DRINK WITH DWARVES – I should know better

February 26th

Dear Journal,

I woke up for a little while when Kae left this morning and I will admit that it is nice to be back in Panderia, things seem less complicated here.  I am still kind of confused about what actually happened in Stormwind – totally oblivious to what might have happened in Ironforge.

I met Josie in Stormwind and we agreed to be “friends” – okay, that’s fine, I don’t mind being friends and we both promised that we would write one another, however, through my past experience, Josie isn’t all that great in the letter writing thing.  I mean, she can write, however, it’s almost as infrequent as when I get to see her.  We shall see.  Yes, maybe we were moving too fast, I have no idea what it is she wants from me – I’m not ready to get married by a long shot.

As for Ironforge. I should know better than to get into a drinking bout with a bunch of dwarves, however, I did it anyway.  I only know that when I woke up the next morning, if it was morning even, I had three female dwarves in bed with me, all I had on was my loincloth and a boot.  What really woke me up was the one laying on my chest and snoring into my ear – she was kind of cute, however, I have no idea who she was. I was flat on my back with a dwarf under each arm.  Oh, Elune, I hope that I didn’t do anything that I should be ashamed of but I have no idea what was going on.  Of course, Andrew was laughing like a hyena when I went downstairs after slipping out of the bed and not even waking the one on my chest, just kind of slid her off there.

Naturally, he gave me some “hair of the dog” as he puts it the minute I sat down and I thought that I was going to throw up when he told me he put a wee bit of gun powder in it to give it a kick.  Gets rid of the hangover he says. 

His eyes were just gleaming when he told me that the girls had taken me upstairs for some fun and the racket that went on sounded like they were having a good time.  I wanted to crawl under the table and possibly all the way back to Panderia.  So far, in the past, I supposedly puked in the fountain pool at the mage quarter, now, I’ve committed some kind of weird acts with a bunch of female dwarves or supposedly.   I honestly don’t remember and my body doesn’t tell me that it had a good time like that.

Now, the big thing is that he said that they had a gnomish camera up there and they would be sending me pictures when they were developed – Oh Elune!! How am I going to explain that? One would think that I would remember if I did something like that with that many women at one time.  My head was still kind of spinning and foggy when I left Ironforge.  Yeah,  I promised that I would be back for a visit soon, however, I think I’m going to avoid the booze and the women – in that order.

Of course, I made a quick stop in Stormwind at the apartment so I could get cleaned up and changed clothes.  I didn’t want to go to Dolonaar just reeking of alcohol.  I didn’t want that “tsk tsk” that I would get from Grandmother and the “evil” wink from Grandfather.

I did get to see the little guys and they are growing like weeds.  My grandparents tell me that my Mom hasn’t visited in a while, however, they did hear from her.  She’s been in Deepholm with the Sentinels.  Knowing my Mother, she probably hated that place as much as I did.  I used to get sent down there for basilisk hides and I hated the closeness and darkness of the place with a passion.  I did try to get some hides from other places to substitute, however, that didn’t work.  Darn basilisks have crystals in their hides down there that make the leather kind of sparkle when it’s tanned.  Not to mention, I got my butt chewed out by my Mother for trying a stunt like that.  I hope she’s okay.

I will admit that I did have a bit of a hangover while I was there and my Grandfather took me outside and gave me some of his own homemade brew to see if that would help.  My Grandmother insisted that I take some herbs to help – oh, they helped a whole lot – I think that I heaved the entire contents of my stomach of anything that I had eaten in the last two days.   I really have to make a note to myself that I shouldn’t  drink with dwarves and I shouldn’t take my Grandmother’s herbs.

The farm looked so good when I got back to Panderia and Halfhill.  I just had to go out and look at things and to clear my head from traveling so quickly to get back here.  It was nice to see Kae again, it was almost like being able to relax completely when I saw her.  Naturally, she wanted to cook something for me to eat and I had to tell her that I wasn’t hungry and the only thing that I wanted to do was to go to bed and get some sleep.

Kae had made me some food before she left this morning and I will admit that I was hungry for some food that wasn’t something I could have eaten in Stormwind or Ironforge.  Why she made soup before she left has me amazed, however, the beef broth and the veggies just settled my stomach right down. 

I’m sure that we will have a nice time talking about my leave when she gets back today, however, I think I am going to go back to bed, I’m exhausted.





Life Is Complicated

February 18th

Dear Journal,

I thought that by coming to Stormwind for a few days that it might help me clear my head a little bit of my personal stuff and start getting on with things.  However, that may have been my intent at the time and it was well thought out before I left Kae on the farm and headed to Stormwind.  I also wanted to get up to see the Bitterbeers in Ironforge for a few hours at least.

I wanted to get my head cleared out and just put a few things behind me.  I think that I needed to get some closure on a few things in regard to Josie and be able to tell myself that it wasn’t something that I had done wrong, in fact, it might have been something that I had done right.  I still don’t know what is really going on, however, at least I have some ideas.

When I got to Stormwind, the warehouse was extremely busy and the new office manager really was giving me fits as to whom I was because we’d never met.  I had to prove to her that I was whom I was by showing her the key to the apartment upstairs, which, bless the light of Elune, Vashlan happened to be there.  He assured her that I was indeed Kaldor Shadowmoon, the son of the owner of the company and I hadn’t come there to rob the warehouse.  So, at least she didn’t feel like she had to summon the guards that were on duty to remove this strange person from the premises.  It was good to see Vash again because we hadn’t seen one another since Winter Veil and we had a lot to catch up on.

Naturally, my room looked like it had been turned into a changing room with Vash’s robes lying all over the place and a few crates that he had shoved in there with books in them that he had already read and hadn’t sold them nor decided to put them in the bookshelves.  So, we spent the next couple of hours cleaning up my room so I could at least use it with me chewing him out for being such a clothes horse amongst other things.

We talked about how things were with Mother and Father and I’ll admit that he was relieved that they were going to be seeing one another in the next few days for some private time alone.  He was afraid that Dad had gone off on another one of his adventures – which would mean that our family would be torn apart again and we’d have to start over again.  No, I don’t think that we have to worry about that sort of thing happening again because I think that Mother would just shoot him if he got that kind of wanderlust again.  Besides, I think that Dad has finally realized that we are the family that he has always wanted and needed in his life – he does seem happy enough other than worrying about Mother being in the Sentinels again.

I guess that Vashlan has seen the little guys recently and they are growing like weeds and he thinks that they are actually going to be taller than the two of us.  Well, they are pure Kaldorei and that means that they will not have to deal with the things that we had to growing up and still have to deal with from time to time.  I guess that Vashlan has been able to cover his bloodline up by telling people he had an accident with fel magic that he wasn’t supposed to be messing around with and that’s why his eyes are a little on the green side.  Guess he’s gotten smarter as he’s gotten older.  Accidents can happen with magic, the wrong incantation, the wrong potion, whatever – poof, you could be scarred for life.  He might set up a portal while I’m here so that I can get a chance to see the little monsters before I have to go back to Panderia.  I miss them a lot, especially the stuff they used to pull in Dalaran which they don’t seemed to have stopped completely even in Dolonaar.  Vash had to take some replacement stuff to Grandma because she had broken a few wooden spoons warming up their backsides.  Something about the Moonwell and explosives – will they ever learn that there are some things that you just don’t do?  I guess that Mother was fit to be tied over that little stunt when Gran wrote her about it.

I love Panderia, however, I do miss the family times that we used to have when we were living in Dalaran.  I don’t suppose that we’ll ever have that very often anymore.  What with Dad being in Panderia and Mom being in Mount Hyjal, the family is kind of scattered all over Azeroth these days.

Maggie had told me about some filching of the shipments that we were sending out and I thought that I would go down to the docks to see what was going on.  I wondered if the guards were getting to be a bit lax in their duties, which could happen I suppose.  Stormwind is a busy port and with all of the war supplies going out, it would be ripe for a bunch of thieves to start taking their wares.

I was standing on the dock to Darnassus checking the last few crates when I started remembering a lot of the things that had happened to me on that particular dock.  That’s where I met Harrier and Josie the very first time.  Oh that did bring back some of my more harsh memories of Harrier disliking me quite a bit. 

As I was leaving the dock, I noticed a fellow sitting by the tree that I knew I recognized almost immediately.  That purple hat is a definite give away, he always wears that hat down over his eyes so you can’t see what his eyes are doing.  Yep, it was Harrier.

He and I chatted for a while and it appears that I’m not the only one that has been away from Stormwind for a while.  I have no clue where he has been because he’s always very secretive with the way that he does things.  Naturally, I told him in passing that I hadn’t seen Josie in quite a while nor had I heard from her.  I told him that I thought that maybe she didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore for whatever reason.   You could almost see his eyes light up with that thought.   I guess that Josie does talk about me from time to time which can’t please him at all.  I don’t think that I will ever figure out that relationship at all.  Naturally, I also asked him about The Lady and he said that she was doing as well as she always does – whatever in the heck that really means, I’m clueless.

As we were chatting there on the docks, or should I say, trading words.  I kept feeling like I was being watched and I would glance around to see if anyone was nearby and couldn’t see anything.  I was beginning to chalk it up to being in a warzone for too long and not being able to turn off that particular radar when I’m away from it.  Besides, I didn’t have Kae with me to cover my back and that always makes me a bit nervous – I’ve become very dependent on her being with me, which may or may not be a good thing.

Yeah, you guessed it.  It was Josie slipping around from the back of the tree and I guess she had caught her gown on one of the bushes there – it was the only reason that I noticed her at that point.  It’s kind of odd how you see Harrier and Josie isn’t too far behind.  It always makes me wonder about that relationship.  Josie says she doesn’t like him and he doesn’t like her, however, they sure do seem to be inseparable.

I didn’t know whether to be happy to see her or angry to see her.  I mean, it’s been months since we had last spoken and I even quit sending her flowers after the Winter Veil debacle and her never getting in touch with me.  I was ready to chalk the whole thing off and get on with my life.  She says that she’s been extremely busy at the shop and hasn’t had time to do anything else.  Well, I’ve been off fighting a war and that didn’t mean that I didn’t have time to think about her at least.  Oh well, I suppose there are excuses that you can accept and some that you have to take with a grain of salt.

I’ll admit that my heart skipped a couple of beats when I saw her and I know that I had a huge grin plastered on my face.  I told her how beautiful she was and that I was glad to see her.  I know that my knees were shaking and I could feel my heart pounding every time I opened my mouth.

We chatted for a while with Harrier sitting there like some chaperone or something.  I told her about the farm and the fact that I had been assigned to a group of Sentinels in Panderia.  I guess Harrier doesn’t care for Sentinels all that much.  Anyway, the subject came up about the farm and I was telling Josie about it and she asked if I had help with the place because it sounded like a lot of work. 

I had no intentions of telling Josie about Kae, however, I wasn’t going to lie about it either.  I didn’t lie when I said that Kae doesn’t live with me all of the time, most of the time she does. I definitely didn’t go into any details about our sleeping arrangements either.  No sense in building a bonfire and standing in it.  I did invite Josie to come visit at some point.

We were all talking about Sentinels and Harrier kept making comments about how Sentinels don’t like men for the most part.  Well, naturally, I was trying to smooth that over by saying that not all Sentinels felt that way.  Men were just a lower level of the social strata around Sentinels.  I didn’t want to broach the subject that men had other uses when there are group of women.  Can’t say that I have been called on to provide that particular “service” since I’ve been in Panderia, however, I know it’s happened to some of my buddies. Josie thought it was horrible that men aren’t treated as equals and I spoke out that the relationship between my parents was very equal.

Oh well, I’m sure that Harrier filled Josie in on the situation after I left.  Josie and I decided to remain friends and start our relationship over again by writing.  We’ll see how that works out.  At least we parted as friends last night.  Oh Elune No!  I am sure not going to share the fact with Kae that I ran into Josie again because I have a feeling that a bit of jealousy might happen there, maybe not. 

Kae is still my best friend in Panderia and I don’t want to rock that boat for something that may or may not happen.  If Josie and I renew our relationship on a different level, I’ll tell Kae then.

Well, I had planned on doing some other things here in Stormwind today, however, I am feeling rather exhausted this morning.  I really didn’t sleep all that well last night with all of these thoughts about Josie running through my head.  Oh yeah, I did ask about the little boy that Josie had been taking care of and she acted kind of weird about that when I did.

 Part of my dreams last night weren’t real pleasant, I was being chased by a pack of wolves and I kept hearing one of them yelling my name and for me to stop.  I knew that if I stopped, I’d be one dead man.






Letter To Kaldor Shadowmoon

February 8th


Me and Hammon was wonderin’ when you was going to be showing up again?  Our Ma said she thought she saw you a few days ago but you was running like someone had set your butt on fire or somthin.

Ach, Laddie, we’re missing the good times we had when you’d visit and all the women at me brother’s bar are wondering when ya been.  I’ll be sending this letter to the office in Stormwind, since I know you’re probably not living in Dalaran these days.

That Draeni woman that’s running things in Stormwind, Magdamnit or whatever the heck her name is says you’re all off fighting the war.  Yeah, we seen them Panderian with their high and mighty brews, however, they sure can’t drink a good dwarven stout wit’ou falling down.

Yeah, that Draeni is living the high life of being the boss these days when me and Hammon bring our hides in.  She makes us wipe our feet at the door to the warehouse – now , how bloody stupid is that? Aye, we liked Romey even if she was one them educated spacegoats, she didn’t take on any airs, ya know.  Besides, she was good for a flirt now and again – this one acts like her tail gets caught under her hooves and she gets damned cranky.

If you don’t have time to stop by, at least drop us a line, we miss you and the girls miss you even more than we do.  Sure, you know, it’s okay if you puked in the fountain the last time you was here.  I’m sure no one will be rememberin’ that happening. Besides, we need your help with some gnomes that need puntin’ outta the bar now and again.

I hope you’re being careful with those fury girls up in Panderia.  I hear tell they can really put the hurt on you big fellas.  They do like a cuddle now and again with a dwarf though, gotta be those beautiful beards we have. 

Well, Hammon and Rye says to tell ya hello and to come back soon.

Andrew Bitterbeer

c/o Bitterbeer Brewery