Visiting Stormwind…

February 9th

Dear Journal,

I know that I should have done this long ago and I am happy that I did.  I finally convinced Kae that she should start going with me to places like Stormwind and even Iron Forge.  So, yesterday, we got busy, got all of the chores done that we had planned for the day and took off for Stormwind, which is where we still are this morning.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I saw Dawnglory and his woman in the market the other day and they had their baby, it sure was cute even if it is a Blood Elf baby, they look so tiny in comparison to what we Kaldorei have.  Yes, we’re a sturdy breed and the babies we have reflect that too. Well, I’m part Sindorei, so, I suppose I could sire a throw-back too and my children could be small in comparison to the regular babies.  Oh well, I’m not going to worry about that right because I don’t foresee that I’ll be having any children for a while yet, life is too busy. We really couldn’t talk in the market, for obvious reasons, the war may be winding down here in Pandaria, however, it isn’t that way back in Kalimdor.  Prying eyes and wagging tongues could cause trouble for the both of us.

However, I did get to talk with him at the fence that divides our property here in Halfhill and found out all kinds of things.  I guess that my Aunt Fae is back and living in Silvermoon, I know that is probably both a good thing and bad thing for my Father, one less thing for him to worry about or maybe not.  She’s always been kind of weird to me anyway because of my heritage, however, she’s never made the mistake of being outright rude or mean to me, she has been to my younger brothers until my Dad took her off to the side and read her the Articles of War – in the family that is pretty serious because that means you’ve pissed the old man off. I guess Mom and Dad are still in Nagrand doing whatever it is they do, hope I don’t have another little brother or sister on the way, however, Dad is still pretty virile even at his age.

We talked about the business being set up in Shattrath and I guess Dawnglory is planning on staying here in Pandaria most of the time and especially after the birth of his daughter.  Can’t say that I blame him for that either because if I have children in the future, I fully intend on raising them up here too. Well, if Kae is the woman that I have children with, it won’t be an issue.

We were laughing about the fact that Kae is just locking herself away here at the farm and he told me that I really needed to take her on date, not just to the Faire, take her some place nice to eat and maybe do some socializing with some of our friends.  He told me that he thought that we lived like hermits and that wasn’t a good thing for any relationship.  He’s right and I have been thinking that I needed to get Kae out of here for a while, maybe even take her to some of the places that I have been – see the world a bit.  Maybe even take her to Dalaran, even though it’s way different now from when I lived there.  We could go out to eat, drink some wine and maybe visit some of the places in Northrend.  That’s a plan for the future. Right now, the plan is to get her to Stormwind, visit with some friends, go out to eat and stay overnight at the apartment.

We made it to the story event behind the Cathedral that I attended once before and I think that we both had a great time.  Kae said that she really enjoyed the stories and would like to go again, which I think can be arranged because I enjoy it too.  I did see some of my friends, however, they seemed to be pretty occupied with other things, so, we didn’t get to talk to them.  I definitely assured Kae that they weren’t avoiding us, they were just involved in something that we weren’t a part of, so, we’ll try to catch up with them again sometime.

We went over to the Pig and Whistle and had some food and drank a bit.  I think we both were just enjoying hearing some of the gossip of Stormwind.  I know a few things caused us both to laugh out loud and I even blushed a couple of times.   Well, to hear a Dwarf talking about their love life so openly was more than funny because he was definitely in his cups and was telling the world that his lover was a hooker and his girlfriend was ugly as a fence post.

When we got back to the apartment, Vashlan was actually there and was sitting in the great room with other clothes on than a robe, that was a shocker. We sat and talked with him a while because he was in a sociable mood for once.  I could tell that he had been drinking and I could also tell that he had been with a woman too, those tell tale marks on his neck were a bit obvious. Yes, he’s definitely no virgin from what I could see and it looked to me like the marks were bites like I get from Kae now and again – Kaldorei woman.

Kae excused herself to go take a bath, so, the two brothers sat there and had a man-to-man talk.  The first talk of that nature I’ve ever had with him.  Yes, he had been with a woman and he said that it was the most remarkable experience that he had ever had in his life, he didn’t know that women did those things.  So, we talked about that as well as some things that he needed to be aware of. I think Mom and Dad would be real upset if they became grandparents by accident.

I think that I embarrassed him a bit but I also hope that he was listening.  Sounds like the girl is quite a handful and a Sentinel that was on leave here in Stormwind for a while.  I started laughing when he told me that she had done all kinds of things to him at the Inn and had just worn him out.  Well, I do wish that he had had a more romantic setting for his first time, however, he seemed to be rather pleased with himself and plans on seeing her again.  He didn’t tell me her name, however, it sounds like she might be a tad bit older than he is and didn’t mind the fact that he wasn’t purebred.

I swear that this was the first time that Vash hasn’t had his nose in a book when I was in town or not planning to go back to the tower to study some more.  It was nice talking to him and I’ll admit that he is definitely growing up. He says that his magic is coming along and that he is still ahead of the other students that are studying with him, so, I guess that’s good.  He laughed when I asked him if he had set any curtains on fire or sheeped anyone lately.  Oh, those were good times in Dalaran.  He said he’s still having a little bit of trouble socializing with some of the people here in Stormwind and I told him that that was normal, not all people are going to be educated and polite anywhere he goes.

I know that when I woke up this morning, I was feeling pretty happy and contented with my lot in life especially after I stared at Kae’s sleeping form for a little while.  Yes, I’m a lucky man and I hope that things will stay as good for the two of us as they are now. It has indeed been a wondrous thing for us since Kae left the Sentinels because we don’t have to worry about the interference that was going on after I left.  No Commander asking embarrassing questions about what I was doing and no other Sentinels trying to force their attentions on either one of us.  They are definitely a horny group of people. It’s just nice having complete control over our lives now, well, with Elune’s help, I’m sure.

I think that I’ll see if Kae wants to go to Dolonaar to see my grandparents any my little half-brothers because she hasn’t met them and I think that it’s time that she did.  I know that my grandparents will like her a lot and they might even remember her as being one of their foster children years ago.  She vaguely remembers them, however, I’m sure there have been many more kids that stayed with them. Oh that was long before she was old enough to become a Sentinel and she has her tattoos now that might throw them off a bit.  I think it would be fun anyway.  I’ll have to ask her when she wakes up because she may just want to go back home to Halfhill.  We’ll do whatever she wants.

Kaldor Shadowmoon 

Getting Back In The Good Graces…

January 28th

Dear Journal,

Well, Bless Elune and Thank the Light!  Kae has finally gotten over being upset with me and I am now able to sleep in our bed with her again.  I realize now the error or my ways and I have apologized profusely to her and have promised to never do that sort of thing again.  Well, those muffins did work well for ammo when I couldn’t think of anything else that might kill a Void Lord.  I just shouldn’t have shared that information with Kae and the circumstances in which this all came about.

I will have to admit that sleeping under the house at the farm wasn’t all that bad considering that I had my bedroll and I did build a small fire under there to keep a bit warmer even if the smoke did filter in the house a little bit. However, that didn’t keep me from wanting to be in the house and sleeping under those furs in that nice big bed with my Sentinel.  It was indeed a long week and a lot of apologizing and small tokens of my esteem to buy my way back in the house too.

Now I know what my Mom meant when she said that I have to be a bit more sensitive to a woman’s feelings than one of my buddies.  I didn’t realize how much my using her muffins as ammo would hurt her feelings and how much trouble it would get me into – they did keep me alive and got me home safe at least.

I guess that Kae wrote to Mom and had her send the ingredients from Stormwind because when I got up this morning, there were fresh muffins on the counter and a note from Kae.  Naturally, she got up before I did and was out and about in Halfhill. Seems I caught a bit of a cold sleeping under the house and have been staying in bed a bit more, actually I am trying to thaw my body out.  These muffins that she made this morning were absolutely wonderful and tasted just like the ones my Mom used to make for us in Shattrath when Vashlan and I were boys – I know I ate six of them and I’m feeling a bit stuffed at the moment.

Even though I can look outside and there isn’t any snow on the ground at the moment, it is still Winter and it gets pretty darn cold at night even here in the Valley of Four Winds.  Not cold enough to freeze the crops, mind you, however, I know that I was really starting to feel like I was back in Northrend there at the last.

When I got back in the house last night, the first thing I did was to take a nice long hot bath and it felt wonderful.  It was also doubly nice because Kae was in the tub with me and was massaging my shoulders and just making me feel like all was forgiven at last.  I know I won’t be making that kind of mistake again.  She even cooked some of my favorite food as well as some soup, I think I ate more of the soup than anything because it just tasted good and felt good going down my sore throat.  Naturally, she couldn’t’ help but notice that I wasn’t feeling quite myself and promptly tucked me into our bed under those nice warm furs and I think I fell asleep pretty quickly after that.

I know that I have been properly dosed with herbs and have been sleeping quite a bit this morning. I think Kae feels guilty for making me stay under the house because I now have this cold which has me sneezing, coughing and just generally feeling rotten.

I did make it to the Wanderer’s Festival Sunday night and I will have to say that it was fun to see all of the people there, wishing that Kae was with me too, and the lanterns on the water were beautiful.  Naturally, there was a lot of drinking, not by me, and the music was good.  I met quite a few people and tried to talk to some of them.  I really need to get over this introverted thing I’ve started doing of late because it does make it tough to get to know other people in the area.  I’m not normally shy, however, there are times that I get that way, maybe it was the beginning of the cold coming on because I did feel kind of fuzzy headed.

Well, we have our usual rain going on right now and I think that I am going to just stay inside and stay home for the day in hopes that I’ll feel better.  I don’t think that I have had such a cold since I left Dalaran and I remember that cold lingered for several days.  I am just enjoying the warmth of the house and the smells of all of the spices and cooking that Kae has been doing – I don’t think that we’ll be going hungry anytime soon.  I don’t know where all of this domestic activity is coming from and maybe she is trying to fill the void from leaving the Sentinels.

I know that I didn’t have any trouble adjusting to not having to report into the camp and getting sent out on patrols anymore.  I am really getting back into the lifestyle that I had before I came to Pandaria and joined up with the Sentinel group.  Of course, I’m happy that I did join at the time because if I hadn’t, I would  have never met Kae.  We still have quite a few friends that we see from time to time here in the market from the Sentinels and I know that Kae does miss being a part of the group, however, in my opinion, she made the right decision because I could tell that she wasn’t really happy without being able to partner up with me on her patrols.

All I can think to say is that Life is Good and this cold is not good.   I think that I am going to crawl back in the bed and try to sleep some more and hope that I won’t feel  this bad later in the day.



A Dream Come True

January 13th

Dear Journal,

I will have to admit that I am very happy to be sitting here at the farm with the chill air wind blowing across the fields as well as the very warm fire burning in the kitchen.   A lot of things have happened since I last wrote and they have all been good as far as I am concerned.  Of course, I’m sure that some people might beg to differ on that but that’s okay too, they aren’t living where I am either.

Kae and I did make our way to the Faire and it was kind of a celebration that we both enjoyed.  She had finally made her decision to leave the Sentinels because she said that it was far too lonely  for her without me being with her and the scouts that they had been putting with her were lacking the skill that she had grown accustomed too with me.  We were both kind of chuckling that some of the fellows really weren’t ones to talk much when they were sitting around the fires at night with the Sentinels because they had one thing on their mind and it wasn’t written in some rule book somewhere.

She had handed her official resignation in on Friday morning and we left for the Faire shortly thereafter.  We were acting as giddy as two school kids getting away from school for a holiday vacation of some sort.  It was like someone had handed us a piece of paper that said that we were free from all of the worries of the world because that’s how we felt.   I know that if any of our friends had seen us, they might have thought that we were drinking ourselves into oblivion or something. I know that we both felt as if we had had the weight of the world lifted from our shoulders, which in a way, we had.

I know that we enjoyed the food, the rides and truly enjoyed mingling with the crowds.  I know that this is something that we haven’t felt comfortable in doing for quite a while.  What with my heritage and the Sentinels always being suspicious of our relationship, we always felt as if we were being watched , no, I don’t think that we were being paranoid, just being extra careful with what we were doing all of the time.  Now, we have no reason to worry about those things, our lives are our own to do with as we would.

We spent the entire day at the Faire and stayed until it closed that night.  No, we didn’t make the trek back to the farm that night either.  We actually stayed in Stormwind and enjoyed ourselves there for a while.  We went to Blue Recluse and sat with Vashlan and some of his friends, however, I’ll admit that it was a bit uncomfortable for us to be there because they were talking all the mage stuff and a couple of his buddies kept looking at Kae as if she didn’t have a stitch on.  I’ll admit that the green-eyed monster was starting to rear its ugly head with the few drinks that I had, so, we left and went back to the apartment above the warehouse.  We had already made plans to go back to the Faire again the next day and we were looking forward to that.

Naturally, we did the things that couples do when they are alone and I am sure that my bed has never had that much activity in it before. It was just fun being able to lay there in each other’s arms knowing that we had no rush to get up in the morning because our time was our own.  Just lying there and holding Kae in my arms as she slept was probably the most contented and happy that I have ever been since we have been together.

I know that we are a lot happier now that some of the major decisions have been made in our lives and we can finally start planning for the future.  I know the last few months can’t have been pleasant for Kae because they weren’t for me.  We seemed to argue constantly and it was always about the same things – the Sentinels and her duty to them.  I’m surprised that we were able to survive that conflict but we did and I think that it has made our relationship a lot stronger than it was.

I’m sure that Magdamia will be shocked when we both start picking up contracts to be filled here in Stormwind, however, she’ll just have to get used to it.  I know that Kae will be good at whatever she decides to do because she’s proven herself in the past and we both work well as a team.

I suppose the next big question will be about us taking our vows at the Moonwell in Darnassus.   I know that Kae would do it in a heartbeat, I am still dragging my feet and I will have to admit that it almost frightens me, it’s a lifetime commitment, not like it is with my Father’s people that can call the whole thing off if they are unhappy with one another. Part of me wants to go ahead and take Kae as my mate and the other part of me is arguing about giving up my freedom – I don’t think that it would change that much because we never have felt like we “owned” one another like some of our friends have felt with their relationships.  We work and live together and have learned how to compromise with one another to where we both are happy with the way that things are going.

I will have to admit that my Dad really hit the nail on the head when he told me that if I truly loved Kae, I would know it.  I think I do love her because the thought of her not being in my life makes my heart feel like it is breaking and I can feel the tears well up in my eyes at the thought of her not being with me.

Just waking up with Kae in my arms, her head resting on my shoulder and her hand intertwined in my hair this morning was like a dream come true.  Just feeling her velvety warm skin next to mine under the furs was a revelation of sorts.  Of course, her scent is almost mind boggling and I will have to thank my Mom for that.  She gave Kae some of that almond scented soap that she had purchased on one of her last shopping sprees in Dalaran and it smells wonderful.  I almost wonder if there isn’t something else in that soap too because I will have to admit that we have both been more amorous of late.

After all of these months of arguing, bargaining and trying to come to some kind of compromise in our lives, it feels good to have it finally settled.  I know that it was very hard for me to pull myself out of the bed this morning, stoke up the embers in the fire and put the tea and coffee on.  Thank heavens my robe was close at hand because we had forgotten to close the window in our bedroom, which made it chilly and the furs all that more inviting.

At least now we can start planning things for ourselves.  If we decide to make the vows and we decide to have children of our own, we can do that – all in good time.  I know that I find myself more often than not referring to Kae as my mate – maybe our vows have already been said to Elune, I know our hearts are held fast with the way that we feel towards one another.  Maybe this is something that I need to talk to my Mom about, she probably has a better understanding of our ways than my Father would.






Just Thoughts and Musings….

September 21st

Dear Journal,

I haven’t had much of an opportunity to write of late what with the duties with the Sentinels and trying to keep up with Kal most of the time.  It’s raining as per usual here in Halfhill; however, Kal decided that was the best time to pull weeds for some reason.

If the truth were to be known, I think that he just wanted to get away from me for a little while because we have been having some rather deep discussions of late about the way things are in the Sentinels and the changes that have come to pass in the Vale.  Kal is worried that another type of danger is going to come about with the way that the goblins are digging like little fiends in the Vale and we’re heard those rumors about Old Gods and we know how power greedy that Garrosh is.

I know I was heartsick at the way that the Horde have destroyed a portion of the Vale, the mine has definitely made an eyesore in that area and it used to be so beautiful.  There was always a sense of peace there and now there is that urgency that you feel when you know that there is going to be a big battle of some kind.  I just wish that it would hurry up and happen just to have it over.  I am getting sick of the feelings of dread.

Oh yes, we’ve been talking quite a bit about my leaving the Sentinels and Kal wants to quit being a Scout.  He has assured me that we would make even more money by going to work full time for his Mother’s company out of Stormwind.  I suppose we already make quite a bit of money from that source anyway because we are constantly sending skins and artifacts back there and we don’t seem to be hurting for cash these days.

It’s not the money part that bothers me, it’s leaving the Sentinels.  It’s the only life that I have ever truly known and I am afraid to leave.  What if things don’t really work out for Kal and me?  I would be alone again and I do mean truly alone because I wouldn’t have my comrades to help me unless I rejoined.  I know that they would probably frown upon someone like me that leaves and comes back again. 

I know that Kal keeps telling me how much he cares for me and that he would never leave me, however, he’s never said those words that one wants to hear from their companion.  As sappy as it sounds, an “I love you”, wouldn’t be amiss to make me feel somewhat better.  I know that he has never said those words to me and we haven’t furthered our relationship at all other than living together, scouting together and sleeping together almost every night.  There really isn’t anyone that I can talk to about this because they would only tell me that that’s what I get for getting involved with a half-breed.  I don’t think it has anything to do with the racial mix, I think it has to do with the man himself.

I have been in love with a man before and there is no guarantee that they won’t come up missing or just walk away from you.  Those words can be comforting for the moment; however, I honestly don’t think that Kal would do that to me.  He is a very honorable man and he has never broken his word to me when he has made a promise of any kind.  He may have gotten hurt in the past and that’s why he won’t say those words or he is afraid to say them.  He’s a strange fellow sometimes and hard to read.

I’ll admit that the temptation is there to walk away from the Sentinels because it would mean that we would have more freedom to do the things that we enjoy.  Right now our patrols are long and arduous, however, we’re not seeing any build up of troops and we’re not seeing anything other than Orcs.  I can’t stand Orcs; they are vile evil smelly things that only know how to destroy things.

 If the rumors are true of what is going on in Kalimdor, I hate to think of what is becoming of my homeland.  Kal has some feelings for Kalimdor even if he was raised in Outland.  I know I almost dread going back there to visit some of my friends and now, with Kal’s Mother being in Dolonaar, I’m sure that we will be going to visit sometime in the near future.  Okay, they are more than rumors; however, I have gotten real good at denial about things that are unpleasant to me.

I wish I could make Kal understand about my feelings in regard to giving up the Sentinels.  He doesn’t seem to comprehend the idea that my life before I joined the Sentinels was not anything in comparison to his own.  I was shuttled from one family to the next for fostering and my life was not exactly one of peace and harmony.  I constantly had to adjust to living with other families and learning how they did things, I rarely had anything that I could call my “own” other than what few trinkets I could carry in my belt pouch and my bow. I never knew how my parents were although I was never considered an orphan because I assumed that they were still alive.

I could almost think that my Mother was a Sentinel and that my Father was a Scout rendering his services or possibly he could have been a man that my Mother cared about that didn’t want to take the vows.  It isn’t easy for a Sentinel to be a Mother and do her duties as easily as Kal’s Mother seems to be able to do so, however, she has a real family – she was never fostered out by her parents.

I love children, however, I’m not sure that I would ever want one of my own and I take my tea on a regular basis because I don’t want to bring a child into a situation like this.  If there was something more than “I care deeply for you”, I might give it some thought.  Kal and I have never discussed children, so, I am assuming that he feels pretty much the same way that I do about them at the moment.

I guess I should just let things keep going as they are for right now while I mull these thoughts over in my head and try to come to some conclusion.  No, I won’t leave Kal either because I know what my feelings are for him.  There is no question as to how I feel about him and I would do anything for him, almost anything.  I don’t know if it’s the security of the Sentinels or my doubts in regard as to how things may eventually work out with Kal.

I never thought that something that I had taken for granted for so much of my life could make things so complicated.  I know that Kal is getting very frustrated with me about this, however, he isn’t applying too much pressure yet although I know that he wants to get on with his life outside of the service.




Thoughts & Changes…

August 8th

Dear Journal,

I will have to admit that it feels strange to be sitting here at the farm in Halfhill and gazing out the window towards my Father’s farm and watching two Tauren working his fields.  I know that he is doing what he feels he has to do, however, it just seems rather strange for him not to be close by, yet again.

I know that the attack on my Mother and himself really rattled him to the core and he was getting further estranged from his loyalties to the Horde, however, that seemed to be the capper for him.  I can’t say that I blame him for feeling that way.  Some of the rumors that Kae and I have heard here in Pandaria make us think that the Horde Warchief has lost his mind completely – no surprise there because it didn’t seem like the fellow had any real leadership qualities other than making sure that his fellow Orcs were always victorious no matter how many of the other races were killed to make that feasible.  I can understand why Dad felt the need to resign.

I know I smiled when he told me that his loyalties did not tie him to the Horde, his loyalties were with the Reagent Lord in Silvermoon.  I guess that is as it should be, after all, he is a blood elf and their population isn’t exactly enormous and never-ending.  It does seem as though this Hellscream had targeted this particular race to use as fodder for his war.  Yes, the Blood Elves are very proficient with their bow skills and their capabilities with the arcane are legendary.  They do have that grace and fierceness that comes with the breed, similar to the Kaldorei.  Well, we are related somewhat over the generations.

I got a letter from my Mother and she says that she will not be returning to her duties here in Pandaria with my Father not being here.  She feels that she is needed with her parents and the little guys until she is completely healed.  She understands her obligations to the Sentinels and will return to her duties when she feels that she can do so without endangering her family and her own life.  Well, she did have quite a head injury and from what I understand, those are the hardest to survive through unscathed.

Now, if I could just convince Kae that it is time for her to resign from the Sentinels so that we can get on with our lives without the encumbrances or obligations to that duty.  She’s really balking at the idea of cutting that thread because it is the only life that she has known.   I’ll stay because she is,  although I don’t have my full heart in it.  I can just see this war going on forever at this point or until someone grants us the blessing of killing off this Hellscream.

Now, we’re hearing rumors that the Regent Lord in Silvermoon is recalling all of the Blood Elves to fight at the side of the Trolls.  It really makes me feel bad for my Dad.  He just resigned from his service with the Rangers and serving the Horde here in Pandaria and I would be willing to bet a month’s wages that he will get called up for this latest outbreak.  Yes, there is a rebellion going full bore within the Horde.  Maybe, if we’re lucky, they will just fight themselves to the point to where the Orcs are fairly well obliterated from that faction.  I don’t know much about the Trolls, they kind of scare me with all of their voodoo practices that are so far away from what I know of the Light and my belief in Elune.  Maybe things will get so bad in Kalimdor that the Horde will pull their troops from Pandaria, that would make life a whole lot easier.  I would like to see them leave before they destroy any more of the land than they already have – the changes in the Vale have made me heartsick.  Damn greedy Orc.

I can’t say that I don’t miss having my Mother and Father around because I do.  I may not have gotten much of a chance to talk with my Dad all that much here in Halfhill, however, I did get the chance to at least see that he was alive and well when he would return to his farm.  I did get to spend more time with my Mother without her having the little guys constantly demanding her attention.  I think I have learned a lot more about her since she was up here and she definitely has gotten a lot more of my respect with how she has lived her life – complicated as it may be, she is happy with my Father and she definitely loves her children.

I am really torn right now.  Stay here and fulfill my obligations to the Sentinels and Kae or just try everything I can to get out of that oath to get on with my life.  I would much rather go back to what I was doing before I came here out of loyalty to the Kaldorei after Theramore.  I didn’t mind being and independent hunter, occasional mercenary  and courier.  Oh well, if I can at least convince Kae that we can live a good life doing those things, maybe she will relent with her hesitancy to leaving the life she has only known behind – maybe her love for me will be enough to make her want to do that. 

Oh yeah, I know she loves me, she has told me so many times.  I know I care for her very deeply, however, I haven’t been able to say that four letter word yet, even after all that we have been through.  I’m not sure that I know what the word even means at this point in my life. 




Everything is …Okay

June 23rd

Dear Journal,

Well, I am sitting here somewhat relieved because I finally got to see my Mother with my own eyes to make sure that she was still alive.  I’ll admit that she looks a bit worse for the wear and the attack from the Orcs must have been a total shock to her and my Father.  I’m just happy that they both survived it and that Mom is going to be okay, even if it takes a little more time for her to get back to normal.

I had been banging my head on the wall of frustration because here I was within walking distance and even visual distance of where my Mom was and I couldn’t even go there to see her or visit with her.  I did see my Aunt Felaran outside a few times and she would wave and smile at me.  It just stinks that a family as close as we have been in the past can’t even speak to one another in this place or at this time for fear that someone will see us and turn us all in for being traitors.  That was the one thing that I enjoyed about living in Dalaran, no one really cared what we did and they accepted us even if they didn’t like it.  Of course, Shattrath is neutral and we grew up there, however, there was nothing to compare to Dalaran.

Kae and I had been in Halfhill for a few days after being out scouting for several days and I had known about my Mother’s injuries and to be honest, it was driving me wild with anxiety. I know that I really was at my wit’s end as to how I could see her.  Kae,  being as blunt as only she can with me, just told me to use my skills and get as close to the my Father’s house as I could and signal him, no one should see me in the middle of the night.  So, off I went, did my signal and there was my Dad standing there with a huge grin on his face.  Of course, not too far behind him was my Mother and I will have to admit that I almost burst into tears like a little boy.  Oh, we were well hidden by the trees and the farmhouse, so, we sat on the ground out there in the moonlight and just talked, almost like old times.

I did get the general impression that my Dad wants my Mom to leave the Sentinels again and I get the feeling that he is more than ready to walk away from his duties with the Horde.  It think this last little adventure of theirs pretty much put the icing on the cake of his life with the Horde.  He will always be Sindorei, however, as he calmly put it, that doesn’t necessarily mean that he is going to be Horde for life though because he had walked away from it before and he was ready to do it again with all of the things that have been going on in Kalimdor.

I can honestly say that I haven’t been back to Kalimdor or even to visit my grandparents in quite a while.  Well, not really since Winter Veil.  I see Vashlan in Stormwind when I go there with the contracts that Kae and I have filled and that’s about the extent of my adventures outside of Pandaria.  Oh, I’ve heard all of the tales of what is going on with Orgrimmar and Kor’kon guards everywhere and my Father confirmed that they weren’t just tales. 

That’s just awful that a Warchief could turn against his own people like that.  Oh, I know that the Alliance isn’t all sunshine and roses either, however, I don’t think that Varian would turn on his own people the way that this Hellscream has.  No wonder there is a rebellion going on. 

Oh,  I lied, I have been back to Kalimdor to deliver some supplies for the rebellion before it became public knowledge, so, a lot of the things that are happening now hadn’t changed the place as much as it has now.   I guess there are camps all over the place and the Orcs are killing or taking any of the Trolls captive that they suspect of being a part of the rebellion.  What a mess!  No wonder my Father is ready to walk away from it all, he’s ashamed of what has become of the Horde and how it has cost his own people many lives just for the name of greed and power of one man. 

I think that my Dad wants us to start looking for a nice place to settle here in Pandaria, away from everyone and just a place where we can be a family again.  That would be wonderful if there could be such a place.  Of course, with the way that the Horde is even destroying the beauty of the Vale has me wondering if there will be anything left of the Pandaria that we knew when we arrived.  I would imagine that the Pandaren are questioning the reasoning of why they allowed the Horde to come into their lands.

It was nice to see Mom again and I guess that she is going to actually go back to Dolonaar for a few days.  My Dad has made all of the arrangements and she should be going there in the next couple of days.  It think that it will be a good thing for her to get away from everything for a few days and to spend some time with the little guys and my grandparents.   I guess I could ask Kae if she would like to go back to Darnassus for a few days, I know that she hasn’t been back in a real long time either.  It might be fun and I would like her to meet my Grandparents formally. 

I know that I have to laugh when I think how close Kae and I came to meeting one another long before we came to Pandaria.  She fostered with my grandparents for a while and I guess she had met my Mother before, even if Mom didn’t remember it. It seems like the Fates were playing games with all of us.  With the way that Kae grew up, I’m sure that we probably know quite a few of the same people.

I will have to admit that now that I have seen my parents and I know that they are both okay, I can finally start feeling like things are going to be okay again.  That was definitely a few scary days there and I was really starting to get more than a little bit anxious about the whole thing.  Kae really was good about my outbursts and my rants about the fact that they were so close and we couldn’t just walk over there to see them.

I know that I was sitting here and trying to wrap my head around the fact that I could possibly end up having to take over as the head of the family and I knew that I wasn’t really prepared for it.  I haven’t lived as long as my parents yet and I don’t have their experiences to draw upon. I was really starting to freak myself out and for no reason, thanks be to Elune.  I don’t know how they do it, keeping their private lives, business and families separated from their duties as a Ranger and a Sentinel.  I know that I would have been sorely pressed to even attempt that sort of thing.  I think that I have found a whole new respect for what they have done in their lives.

I know that Kae and I went back to where my parents were attacked and we both ended up kind of smiling.  They weren’t the only ones that had been using that little house for rendezvous even if we were all very careful.  I’m really kind of surprised that we hadn’t run into one another there on more than one occasion.

Oh, Kae and I still go to the Jade Temple to swim in the pools and do some of our laundry occasionally even if there are more Orcs roaming around these days.  We feel relatively safe within the confines of the grounds of the temple.  It might seem a bit sacrilegious to some people, however, the monks don’t seem to mind our being there either.  I think that the Jade Forest will always be one of my favorite areas of Pandaria when all is said and done.  I wish we could find a place there where the family could settle, however, it’s still and entry point for the Horde as well as the Alliance for however much longer this war lasts.

I know it’s the only place where we can swim without worrying about something charging out of the bushes and attacking us.  Plus, there aren’t any of those crazed turtles trying to attack us when we aren’t looking either.  I know the last time that we were down there, I made a flower garland for Kae to wear in her hair and she looked beautiful. I think she really like it too because I found it pressed between two books on the shelf so that it would dry flat and she could add it to her keepsakes. I don’t know why women are so silly about such things sometimes.

To be exact, I ought to quit writing for a while because we have a picnic planned down at the Jade Temple anyway.  Yes, we’re just taking the day off and we’re going to go down there and relax in the peace and harmony of that place.  I still want to watch the monks and maybe get a chance to talk to some of them when they aren’t going through their exercises – the whole style of fighting that they use really intrigues me.



Worries and Rage…

June 19th

Dear Journal,

I’m in a bit of a quandary at the moment and I’m furious at the same time.  I got my Dad’s signal that he needed to talk to me as soon as possible.  Well, we were both in Halfhill and we can usually sneak through the back fields and meet there away from prying eyes. Since he doesn’t like to risk this activity unless it is of some importance, I knew that it had to be very serious.

The news he gave me set my mind reeling and my temper flaring almost out of my control.  It’s a terrible thing to say when you want to punch your own Father in the face.  No, I didn’t want to punch him parse, however, I did want to punch what he stood for – the Horde. I know that I have only gotten that angry once or twice in my life, however, to be standing there with my Father and just feel the rage run through my blood was almost unbelievable and I have never bared my teeth at him before and I know I’ve never hissed.

The news in a nutshell was that he and my Mother had been meeting in the Jade Forest in an abandoned house for quite a while since they aren’t free to do so publicly.  I guess that they had thrown caution to the wind after a while and never really paid much attention to things after that.  They were attacked and my Mother was almost killed by a couple of Orc deserters.  My Father was injured as well, however, he was the one that fought the Orcs off and got Mom to safety.

I don’t exactly call where he has her now as “safety” in any way shape or form.  He took her to his farm here in Halfhill and has a Sindorei healer attending to her.  He better know what he is doing because the wrong word to the wrong person could get both of them killed for being traitors. It’s not like he can just casually tell the healer  “Oh, you know my wife is a Kaldorei Sentinel and she has been injured and needs medical care.”  Yeah, right, that’s like running through a Horde headquarters waving a flag for notice. Dad assured me that the healer won’t say anything, however, that has just made me feel uneasy about the whole thing.  We need to get Mom out of there and to a place where she won’t be given away.

Dad was pretty badly injured and could barely walk and how he made it to the back fields is beyond me.  Apparently he took an axe to this thigh that runs from his grown to his knee and is in the process of healing.  I hope he didn’t reopen the wound climbing the fences between his house and our meeting spot.  I did help him back as far as I could without the two of us being seen.

Now, Kae and I are involved in this mess because Mom is supposed to be my cousin and I had to go tell her commanders that she had to go “home” for a few days without permission to take care of an ailing parent.  I wonder how many “ailing” parents a family can have in one year?  I know that’s the excuse that I used for my trip to help the rebels and left without permission. 

Kae knows that I am worried to death about my Mom because she is the glue that holds this crazy family together.  If anything were to happen to her and she died, I don’t know if the family is strong enough to hold together for very long.  Dad is Sindorei and he is very much in love with my Mother and I don’t know how strong he would be if she were to pass into the arms of Elune.

So, here I sit worried about the fact that my Mother could die and the fact that I may end up having to take care of the rest of the family in her stead. I’m praying as hard as I can for her to be okay because I will be lost without her. No, I’m not a Mama’s Boy, I’m just used to having her there as the one constant in my life. If she dies, the burden of holding the family together becomes mine and I’m not sure that I am ready for that.  I mean, there is the business in Stormwind to run to make sure that we have the income to support the family and then, there are my siblings and my grandparents to think about. That’s one heck of a responsibility to hand over to a fellow my age and it frightens the heck out of me.

I’m going to meet with my Father again very soon and talk to him about moving Mom to my farm or we can take her back to Dolonaar for a while until she heals up.  She would be better off with her own people to be honest.  That’s my opinion and one that probably won’t sit too well with my Father.  Plus, I’m selfish enough that I want to see my Mother with my own eyes to make sure that she is okay, this is not fair to be so close and yet I can’t go see her because of this political bullshit.

Kae keeps telling me to calm down and stop being so edgy, however, this is not her Mother that I’m worried about.  I know things haven’t been easy for Kae these last few days because I have been as unsettled as a cat walking on a tightrope over a pond.  I know I’m fighting my own inner demon of wanting to kill every single Orc that I see right now because I can just feel the rage boiling in me just beneath the surface.

Now, Kae and I have to leave Halfhill and go out on a scouting mission and I don’t want to go, however, it’s what I am here to do. Kae thinks that  it will be good for us both to get out of Halfhill for a few days and it might be.  I just want to kill something and let this rage get out before I lose total control of myself.