Wandering Ways…Again


August 4th

Dear Journal,

I have been spending some time in Pandaria with my Sindorei and I don’t know what it is that he thinks that he can keep the fact from me that he has been with another woman.   His whole demeanor changes and he is so attentive that it is almost suffocating.  I know that he has been faithful to our wedding vows that we took in the Sindorei fashion before we ever left Dalaran, however, I know that he has been going through some trying times on his own…we need to start being together more often in Nagrand.

I did confront him with the fact that I knew he had been with another and he tried his best to deny it and said that he was just preoccupied with the business and some of his family things.   Well, I might have believed that for a little while, however, he did mention that he had been to Dalaran, even though I had told him to avoid it because it would be too upsetting for him.  Silly man, that was just like waving a flag in front of a bull and expecting it not to charge you.

I know that his trip to Dalaran upset him very much and he was almost in tears when he described what was left of our home and how it had been degraded by the people there now.  To think that all of that time and all those years of working on the building were for naught, I can tell that it really did matter to him very much.  That house was his pride and joy and I knew that even when the boys and I were still living in Shattrath in that tiny little hovel that we had for a time.  I know that to him that the house meant that he had been successful in his own right.  He had been a Ranger and was in business for himself now and had accumulated enough wealth to where he thought that he could surpass anything that he had seen in his beloved Silvermoon.

What was a dead giveaway to me about his being unfaithful was the way that he wouldn’t meet my eyes and the way that he started blushing when I asked him how things were going in Silvermoon.  I asked him if Agatha had been able to find a housekeeper that would be suitable and agreeable to our arrangement in Nagrand.  He acted a bit startled when I asked about Agatha, so, at least I know who the woman is now because the look in his eyes told me so.

Am I hurt?  Well, yes, any woman would be hurt if she thought that her man had been with another, however, my hurt comes from the fact that we had both agreed that we would remain faithful to one another after we had taken the wedding vows.  We have been mated for years, we just formalized it to make his friends and acquaintances feel more comfortable with our arrangement.   All of the years that we have been mated in the Kaldorei fashion, he has always had his mistresses, I was one of them I suppose when he was looking for a Sindorei wife.  Yes, that did hurt especially after I had given birth to our two sons in rapid succession, which is almost unheard of with my people.  Yes, my Sindorei is definitely fertile and I was more than willing to carry his children.   I have always expected other children to crop up from some of his wandering ways, however, that hasn’t been the case as far as I know either. I know that I am both hurt and angry with him, yet, there is a part of me that understands the wants and needs of a man of  his sort, I have those same feelings from time to time, however, I have not resorted to taking comfort with another man.

The thought never entered my mind except for the time when we were separated for a very long time and I had taken a Kaldorei male to my bed, bore him two sons as well.   I was very sure at that time that my Sindorei was never coming back and I was wrong.  Did I love this other man? Oh yes I did, sometimes I often wondered what might have happened if he had lived a long life instead of having it cut short in a hunting accident in Nagrand. Was I ever formally mated to this other man?  No, we never took vows, however, we were as committed to one another as any mated pair could be.   My Sindorei did come back to Shattrath long before my youngest children’s Father died and it was rather strange how the two of them became friends.  Naturally, there were the usual recriminations from my Sindorei about my being unfaithful and all I had to do was to remind him of his own indiscretions with his Sindorei women.

Oh yes, Elune knows what a turbulent life the two of us have led and she also knows how much we both love our children.  We have stayed together all of these years because of the love we shared for one another and because of our children as well.

Now, I am wondering if I should just tell him that I know that he has been unfaithful and all of his trying to hide the fact and denying it when I confronted him are not going work?  Should I just tell him that I know what he has done and I even know whom the woman is that he did it with?

Am I angry?  Yes, to a certain level I am very angry, however, the anger does not surpass the initial hurt from this straying.  Why would I think that one ceremony would bear more weight with his conduct than what our vows were previously?  I guess in my mind, it would make him realize that I was equal to these other women that he found so alluring and that I was very much the woman that he loved.  I know that this thing with Agatha is a physical thing for the most part.  Will I ask him to fire her from her position that she has held all of these years?  No, I don’t think that I will because if she is still in the picture after all of this time that they have been together as housekeeper and employer, I will at least know where he has strayed.

Oh why does he do this sort of thing to me after all of these years?  Why does he think that my Sentinel heart will not break as easily as another’s heart?  I am a Sentinel first, however, the woman in me is still very much there and very much feels the pain of these missteps of his.  No, I won’t leave him, however, I will have one those discussions with him that he always dreads, the ones where I let my temper free and tell him exactly what kind of animal I think he is when he does this sort of thing.  How can he even pretend to rear our children and setting up standards for them to follow when he doesn’t follow them himself.  At least I follow the goals that I have set up for myself and I have been more than a little patient with my man.  That’s the problem, he will always be my man, there could never be another that could take his place in my heart and I am mature enough to know this.  He is still my love, my life and my all – even if he is a Sindorei that can’t seem to keep his lust under control.

Amyn

 

Be The Man That I Should Be…Stormwind Here I Come


July 8th

Dear Journal,

I don’t know why it is that I am the way that I am or it could be that maybe Elune had a plan for me in the future that I haven’t discovered yet.  I know that I get a lot of the family disapproval due to the fact that I just can’t seem to stay out of trouble.  My Grandmother is the only that seems to understand and she says that it is in my nature to be way that I am.  My Mother blames it on my being raised like a little heathen in Shattrath for a while before the whole family moved to Dalaran and we discovered that my half brother, Vashlan, is a mage.

I don’t know if it is a shock or a shame that that happened to the poor fellow because it definitely does make him decidedly different from biological brother and I.  Well, we won’t even bring up the fact that Vashlan is a half-breed either. From what people have told me is that this particular thing is a throwback to the days of the High Elves, which were driven out by our people.  Now my Mother has three sons that she can be proud of, Kaldor, the magnificent ex-Sentinel Scout, Vashlan, the almost great mage , Karing, the hunter that seems to do things naturally and there is me.  I don’t think that she is very happy with me at the moment and there isn’t much I can do to appease her anger at this point.

I’m exactly a career criminal, however, there are things that I have done that I got caught at, however, there are so many more that I didn’t get caught doing.  I know that my family has had to bail me out of jail a few times in my young life, however, I try not to get caught most of the time.

I think that it is the allure of something just laying there unattended, all shiny , and showing its value all too well that I can’t resist or something.  Most of the time it is fact that someone has told me not to take stuff and I can’t seem to help myself sometimes.  It’s like telling me “no” about something and I just have to go out of my way to do it.   Yes, I am plying my trade as a pickpocket and I must admit that it is the easiest money that I have ever gotten.  People prance around with these fat pouches like they don’t have a care in the world, and I just lighten their burdens for them, it’s actually rather easy.

Mom is planning on taking me to Stormwind for a while and I am looking forward to it quite a bit because it is such a target rich environment.  She wants me to work in the warehouse and learn the trade and learn how to be a merchant of sorts.  Well, I’ll go along with it to some degree to keep her happy and when I have my free time, I’ll do what I want to do and enjoy the most. My Step-Father says it’s the adrenalin rush that I am addicted too – he should know, being a Sindorei and having been addicted to his own kind of magic over the years.

He’s a nice enough sort, however, he will never really replace my Father.  There was a decent man, hunter by trade and one fellow that never really got into being associated with the Sentinels as a Scout.  He met my Mom when she was living in Shattrath alone with Vashlan and Kal while the Sindorei was off doing his thing out in the rest of the world.  Yeah, I know, my Mom was nothing more than his whore even if they did dress it up as her being a mistress of a wealthy man.  It was kind of embarrassing for me. It’s a shame that my real Father was killed in a hunting accident, however, I have learned to accept and respect my Stepfather- he is kind and generous with his money even if he isn’t as generous with his time as a Father.  I know that my Mother loves him dearly and that he is going to be the Father figure of the household forever unless something unforeseen happens.  You may never know about the future because accidents do happen, even to a man as power as he is.

I’ve been living with my Grandparents a lot in Dolonaar while my Mother has gone off and done her thing.  Now that she is running a business in Stormwind, she wants me to come there too.  If the truth were to be known, my Grandparents probably need a break from me because I know that my mischief hasn’t been easy for them to handle.  I know they have sent me to school, sent me to temple and lastly they are going to send me off with my Mother because they act like I am broken or something and need to be fixed to fit in with the rest of them.

I am what I am, I’m a rogue, a thief, a creature of the shadows and there isn’t anything that anyone can do to change that.  It’s like asking Vashlan not to be a mage – it’s in his makeup, just as being a rogue is in my nature, I can’t change, I don’t want to change – I like the rush and the challenges that I make for myself.  Maybe while I am in Stormwind, I can make the proper connections there and become the man that I should be.

Volardan Shadowmoon.

Too Many Distractions…


June 27th

Dear Journal,

I have decided that I need to really get out of Stormwind more often or at least to get out of my office more frequently.   Why do you think that is?  Well, I haven’t really been anywhere of late other than to Shattrath and after having met the little frog person that I am going to be working with down there, I wonder how that is going to work out?  I know that I was extremely stressed when I was informed that we were comingling the warehouse goods with the company from Silvermoon City.  I know that it probably never occurred to my boss that this was going to present certain problems with her accounting and maintaining a proper inventory of the goods that we have shipped down there already.   How am I supposed to know if there is a shipment that the frog needed more supplies to ship out and she has helped herself to my inventory? I know that I will have to give it a try and see what happens, if I find it too stressful, I’ll hire someone to keep track of things there , kind of an assistant or something.

I think that the thing that has me more upset at the moment is that I haven’t heard much from Lagn and we were supposed to get together to have dinner here in Stormwind in the very near future, maybe it might have even turned into a sleepover for him.  I do have a room in the apartment upstairs although that is another matter that I need to change soon.  I need to find a place of my own, I think. Nothing fancy, mind you, just a place to call my own and a place where I can escape from the demands of my job for a few hours at least.

I think that what is truly bothering me is that the apartment may be very spacious by some standards, however, having to share it with my boss’s son is another matter.  It never bothered me before and I think that I know what is bothering me now is that he is growing up and becoming very much a man by all standards.  Oh, he’s a mage and normally he is covered from neck to boots in a robe, however, here at the apartment, he tends to be a bit more casual and I find it very distracting to say the least.

Vashlan is much younger than I am,  however, he has physically matured quite a bit in the last year.  He’s always been very studious as a mage often will be, however, he has finally gotten his nose out of the books long enough to see the world for what it is – there are females out there.  No, I’m not going to jump his bones or anything like that.  He definitely has turned out to be a very handsome and alluring young man.

Maybe it’s those green flecked eyes, the way that he smiles or the way that he is always infatuated with his appearance.  After having met my boss’s Sindorei husband, I can see a lot of the sire in Vashlan.  Very handsome indeed.  He is a smaller carbon copy of his older brother, Kal, however, Master Kaldor is very much spoken for even if he hasn’t taken a mate yet.

Oh, Maggie, you’re an evil woman for having these thoughts about this right now.  I guess it really is time for me to find another place to live because with the temptation seeming to be more alluring than ever, I don’t want to give into it. Maybe I’ll take a couple of days off and go visit Lagn in Darnassus, that’s probably what I need to do, get my head cleared of these thoughts and come back and concentrate on my job better.  Oh, these thoughts are not something that I plan on sharing with any others either, I can just well imagine how some of my acquaintances might react, it wouldn’t be too pleasant to be the butt of many jokes and a lot of teasing.

Hmm, I wonder what I should take with me to Darnassus?  Maybe a nice gown in addition to my usual attire and armor.  I know there are several nice places to eat there and I do know a few other people that live in the city – I plan on staying at the Inn because I have no idea what kind of accommodations Lagn might be able to offer since he is relatively a newcomer to the city himself.

Oh well, the change of pace will do me good and I’ll get to be with some of my own kind and age.

 

Magdamia

 

 

Reunited With The One You Love…


 

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

 

June 20th

Dear Journal,

I’m sitting here this morning with a nice hot cup of coffee, a few cigarettes at my disposal and enjoying the afterglow of being reunited with my wife at long last in Nagrand.  Ah yes, we’ve been trying to slip away for the last couple of months, however, my family and the business has been making it rather difficult for us to find the time to do just that.   I know that I keep making myself promises that we won’t keep staying apart this long and that we will be together more often and it seems like life just has a nasty way of putting roadblocks in our paths as well as our responsibilities.

Oh, sure, Amyn is not too happy that I am still smoking, however, I told her that it was either smoking or drinking and the drinking thing made me do stupid stuff, which she laughed at that one and reminded me that there are times that we’ve both had too much to drink together.  At least I am not smoking the cigarettes that used to drive her almost insane and those were the ones that I still occasionally smoke when I’m alone in Silvermoon – the fel-laced ones that just seem to mellow everything out and take the edge off your emotions.  Of course, I know I have to be extremely careful with those because there was a time that I was almost addicted to them, back when I lived alone in Dalaran.

I really am happy that we built the house here at the little lake in Nagrand. It’s secluded enough that it’s not noticed too often by people as they fly through the area on their mounts and it is big enough to where we can accommodate the family without any trouble at all as well as a few guests.  The exterior blends in with the surroundings, however, the interior is definitely all Blood Elf and Night Elf for comfort and the decor blends together quite nicely.  I do miss the great room we had in Dalaran with the fireplace and mantle that were carved so intricately that you could almost forget that you were not sitting in some palace in Silvermoon.  I miss a lot of the things about the house in Dalaran, however, the chances of some government coming in and overthrowing this area are pretty slim, I’d warrant.

I have to laugh because the master suite is very much like the one in Dalaran, the bed is as big with the same kind of black velvet hangings, sheets and bedspread, however, I did notice that my lovely wife has had some of designs sewn into the canopy that are definitely Kaldorei in origin.  I can’t say that I like the idea of Elune watching what goes on in that bed, she might blush or strike us both with a bolt of lightning.

I am happy that Amyn had Vashlan fix the water supplies so that we have the hot water similar to what we had in Dalaran.  Nothing like a long hot soak in the tub that is big enough for two, black marble, silver amenities.  It’s very luxurious, maybe more so than the one in Dalaran.

My study or office is right off the master bedroom just as it was in Dalaran with a balcony that overlooks the lake and the plains  – it really is beautiful to be able to stand there and look up at the floating islands and at night, the stars are even more beautiful than they were in Dalaran. Amyn has her sitting room on the opposite side of the bedroom and I think it looks remarkably like the one she had made in Dalaran with the Kaldorei furnishings and she also has a small balcony that faces the lake too

So, yeah, I think that Amyn and I did a great job with the house and we didn’t care about the costs either because this is going to be a home for the family for years to come.  I hope it is going to be for years to come, I’ve learned that nothing is truly forever, however, I hope that this house will be around for as long as we want it.

Everyone has their own rooms just like they did before with the exception of the youngsters, they are going to be staying in their suite of rooms together.  I honestly thought that Amyn would have wanted them to be separated, however, she insisted that they share the area.  Who am I to judge her decisions when it comes to the two youngest boys.  Kal has his own room here and let’s just be honest, it’s big enough to accommodate him and Kae when they come to visit and, yes, I did think to add a little bit more space just in case they ever decide to have children.  Vashlan already likes his room and has great plans for putting in more bookcases, however, we’ll see how things work out.

Yes, Vashlan is the only one of the family members that has seen the house since it has been finished and we’ve started planning on being here more often as a family group.  He’s installed the wards and has everything pretty much in shape for us, so, I’m happy and contented with that.

I can’t begin to tell you how happy I was to finally be able to escape from Silvermoon once Zippie got back from her adventurers.  Oh yeah, she definitely needed to get away for a while, however, I think that I almost gave the poor thing a stroke when she got back.  I’m not too keen on paperwork to start with, however, I am great at having organized stacks of paper – you know, current contracts, new and approved contracts and then the ultimate, collections and contracts that I have turned down.  I know exactly where everything is and I don’t see the need nor have the desire to file that stuff.  So, let’s just say that she is going to be filing papers for a while and I did tell her to draft someone or even hire someone to help her in the office.

The business here in Shattrath is just booming.  It seems that there are quite a few people down here that need what we have to offer and they want the services that we can render.  I will admit that I was really surprised at how fast things come in, the employees that we have here are definitely go-getters and they want to make sure that they meet the contract dates even more so than the group in Silvermoon.   With all of the people that came here from Dalaran, I suppose there weren’t that many jobs around for them to do and Morningstar Enterprises has filled part of that gap.  Amyn always laughs when we meet at the warehouse because we still have to be careful how we act there because of the employees, you never know if someone will try to turn us in for being traitors to our political factions, you just never know.  One of these days, I hope, that there will come a time that we can just be ourselves and not have to worry about things concerning factions.  Wouldn’t that be grand, to have peace in Azeroth.

Agatha has  her youngest sister staying with her in Silvermoon for the time being.  Guess the kid wanted to see the big city and she also wanted me to try to talk Agatha and her parents into her becoming a Ranger.  I have no problem in putting in a good word concerning the Rangers, it was a great way for me to make a living for quite a few years.  This is the first time in all the years that Agatha has been with me that she has brought any of her family to stay at the house with her, it seems odd, however, I trust her judgment in things like that.   The girl is absolutely beautiful  even if she has a wild quality to her that kind of reminds me of myself at her age, however, I’m sure that Agatha will be able to keep her in check.  I’m also happy that Dawnglory already has a woman because I have a feeling that he would be all over this girl without much trouble, he does like an attractive woman and this one is definitely not ugly.

Well, I do know that my sister, Faendra , is definitely in Pandaria and is having trouble fitting in with the lifestyle of the Rangers.  Hey, it was her choice to go that route, I could have helped her somewhat, however, I will not tolerate her trying to muck up Dawnglory’s life.  I have gotten several letters from the people that are still in service up there and they have told me that she is quite the little problem child, she hates taking orders and being made to do things that she feels are beneath her.  I did respond to her Commander’s letter and told him to treat her as he would any recruit that wasn’t quite willing to fit in with the rest of the group.  So, I’m sure that Fae is finding the military life a bit hard to fathom.  It was her choice to leave what I had set up for her in Silvermoon and she can deal with what she has now.

I can’t begin to put down in words how I felt when Amyn and I finally got to Nagrand.  It was like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I could finally just relax.  Just having Amyn with me is like finding that part of myself that always seems to be out of kilter when she isn’t with me.   I know that when I was lying in the bed, holding her in my arms that I felt like we had been “home” here in the new house forever and it was never going to change.

I don’t know exactly how long the two of us will be able to stay here right now because both of us have our hands full with the businesses.   I know I am planning on staying for at least two weeks if not longer and I assume that Amyn is planning the same, she hasn’t said.  I did hint that she ought to bring her parents down here with the boys because I haven’t seen them that much since we left Dalaran and to be quite honest, I miss the kids.  I know I had to laugh at her when she smiled at me and told me that she’d like to spend some time alone with me before we started getting “guests” to come stay for a while.  I have to agree, we do need this time alone too.

Fnor Morningstar

 

 

 

 

Only Make Promises You Can Keep


June 12th

Dear Journal,

After going through  the hellfire of making Kae angry at me the last time and having her leave was enough for me to reconsider a few things that I have been doing in the past few months.  To be honest, I thought that she was gone for good because I had made promises that I didn’t keep and I know that it hurt her deeply because I could see the sadness in her eyes as well as the anger when she left. I’m just happy that we are back together and I hope that we can put the past behind us without too much trouble.   I do know that there will always be a shadow on our relationship though because once you violate the rules, some of that trust is gone.

I know that my Mom was none too pleased with me as well because I had to go into Stormwind to get the repairs done to my armor after my last escapade.  I didn’t think twice about putting it on the company’s accounts either because it is a practice that I have always done.  I suppose that the smithy’s apprentice went to the office to make sure that it was okay to go over the price limit that was normally the case for people using the account.

The next thing I know, there is my Mother standing next to my table at the Blue Recluse where Vashlan and I had gone to have a few drinks and some dinner before I went back to Pandaria after picking up my repaired armor.  I could tell that she was angry just by the way that she was standing there with hands on her hips and her eyes were definitely steely.  Vash and I asked her to join us for a drink and that’s when she started talking to me in very clipped sentences.  There was no scene, no loud shouting, which I might have been able to endure a bit better, however, the low conversation carried quite an impact.

I guess that Magdamia got the notice from the blacksmith and hot-hoofed to wherever my Mom was in the building and off the went to the blacksmith to see the armor before the repairs were done. So Mom saw the damages, the acid burns as well as  a few deeply scored areas which really upset her quite a bit, however, she approved the repairs and set off to find me, which she did.

I explained to her what was going on and the way that her mouth kept popping open and closed she almost made me start laughing because she looked very much like a fish out of water.   Yes, I was involved in some pretty strange stuff and we had overcome the adversary without loss of life, however, we all sustained damages of some sort or another.  I was intelligent enough not to start laughing because I might have ended up wearing the pewter tankards that were on the table.  One does not laugh at my Mother unless she is intentionally being funny and you know it.   She did let me know that in the future that any wear and tear above and beyond the normal wear and tear should be paid for out of my own funds unless it was company related.

Of course, she was all ears when I told that Kae had left me for a time due to my activities with my friends and that she had come home.  I think Mom almost said “I told you so” a couple of times, however, she refrained from doing that because Vashlan was sitting there being all ears.  I was a little bit put out that Mother insisted that we discuss these things in front of my brother, however, I can also see that Mom was using that as a training tool for Vashlan too since he has been misbehaving a little bit recently.

I know after the discussion was had and my Mom’s opinion got put in the proper place, like right between my ears, I told them that I wasn’t going to spend the night in Stormwind and would be heading back to Halfhill as soon as my armor was finished.

I’ll admit that it felt strange for me not to go to the Pig to see how my friends were doing and to see what was going on, however, I decided that I had better forego that thought for a while because it has caused me enough trouble in the last few months and that it was about to cause me to lose the one thing that I hold very dear and that is Kaelendra.  Yep, I’m going to toe the mark for a while and build up the trust again so that Kae will feel better and so will I.  No, I’m not caving in to Kae’s wants and desires, I’m doing what is right to keep our relationship together.  I’m still my own man and will do what I think is the right thing to do, however, in the future, I won’t make promises that I can’t keep.

 

Kaldor Shadowmoon 

Meanwhile…Back In Stormwind


June 9th

Dear Journal,

While it can be said that I enjoy working for Shadowmoon Enterprises, I’m not so sure that I enjoy having to deal with this little frog person from Morningstar Enterprises when I am in Shattrath.  Her voice, oh by the Light, her voice makes my teeth hurt and the language – it’s so crude sounding when she speaks Common, which she has a limited vocabulary at best.  At least we’re not together all of the time, we just happen to run into one another in Shattrath from time to time. Zippie, what a ridiculous name that is and the surname isn’t too far from wrong with it being Prattfall – she does seem to do that frequently, in my opinion.

I suppose if I could be considered a traitor in some circles by working for an employer that is married to a Sindorei and they are running businesses and selling goods to both factions.  Amyn tells me that is making money for both sides and that I should realize that she would never do anything that would be harmful for the Alliance.  I do know that we don’t send out weapons to the Horde, however, we send out all manner of goods to them.  Of course, now that this Zippie person has access to our warehouse goods in Shattrath, it will mean that I will have to inventory a lot more when I am down there to make sure that we have what  we need to service our customers and that we are being compensated correctly when she takes goods.  I don’t think that combining the two companies outwardly like it has been done is a wise decision either – what if some person happens to talk to the right people in Stormwind, we could all end up in jail.  At least I only have to endure the place once a month down there and collect what monies are owed on contracts if Amyn hasn’t already done so.  She works hard for a boss and I will have to tip my hat to her for that because she seems to balance her marriage, her family and the political situation quite well.   I have seen her husband in Shattrath and I will have to admit that he is quite handsome for a Blood Elf.  I can actually see some resemblance in the boys now that I have laid eyes on their Sire.  Most assuredly, the boys look more decidedly Kaldorei, however, the way they both smile  and that self-assuredness that seems to be a trait of the Sindorei is definitely in evidence.

I will have to admit that I enjoyed the short trip that I made to Pandaria, however, I’m not sure that I like all of the bears there.  Oh, they are friendly and likeable enough, however, I don’t think that I have ever been overly fond of furries.  The countryside is beautiful and dangerous in some areas or so I’m told.  I know that I was up there primarily to give my opinion on opening another warehouse up there and I don’t think that it is such a good idea because who knows which way the Horde will go from one day to the next  – the other company’s people might decide to revolt and take everything over and then, where would our employees be?  Not a good plan in my considered opinion.

I had Vashlan keep an eye on things while I was away and his Mother was visiting with his Father.  Not real sure that was such a good idea.  He hired some people while I was away and I can’t help but feel that he wasn’t using his brain when he hired them – they were all women.   At least I know what drives the young man and I think that I will ask someone else the next time I have to be absent and Amyn isn’t going to be in town.   We’ll have to see how all of this works out, won’t we?

I guess that Kaldor is making arrangements to have all of his stock for his contracts shipped into Stormwind instead of making the trip down like he was.  I wonder what is up with that, I really like that young fellow.  I suppose his late night carousing here in Stormwind with his friends has caused him some complications with his woman, she’s a Sentinel or was a Sentinel and those women don’t put up with much nonsense from their men, which is as it should be.

Oh, I did have a nice surprise when I got back to town.  I had a letter from Lagn and he is staying in Darnassus for the time being.  He also had some flowers delivered that were quite lovely.  The letter was friendly enough and was mostly about his time with the Kaldorei and then he asked me out to dinner.  I suppose it wouldn’t hurt anything if I did go out to dinner with him even if he is an employee.  I’ll have to give that some thought though, might not  be the proper thing to do.

Oh well, I suppose I ought to stop writing and get back to work.  I just dread trying to balance the books for our share in Shattrath and then have to turn around and balance the books for here in Stormwind.  There are times that I feel almost trapped at my desk and the weather has turned quite lovely and I would like to be outside enjoying it – this past winter of being stuck here most of the time has made me almost loathe it.

Magdamia

 

 

 

Learning To Compromise…


May 20th

Dear Journal,

Well, I finally located Kae and we had a nice long discussion and I have to agree with her that I have been extremely selfish about some things.   We’ve been together for quite a while and we have enjoyed that time together for the most part.  I think what has been going on is that I am doing things now that I should have done at a much younger age because I don’t feel like I have any consequences for my actions.  Well, the thing is that I do.

I’m old enough now and free enough that when someone that I care about starts putting out rules for me to follow or this happens – like leaving me – or if I do something that they don’t approve of, they feel they have the right to wreck havoc in my life, I tend to rebel. When I was growing up, my Mother was very strict and when my Father weighed in, I knew that I was in for some serious trouble, however, with Kae – her threat is that she will leave.  I love her, however, you can’t keep me a prisoner to my own emotions either. I did have to remind Kae that I am a grown man, we do have an unspoken commitment to one another and it’s something that we’re going to be working on.

Yes, she did give up being a Sentinel, however, that was her choice and not mine to make for her.   She could have stayed with the group if she had truly felt that way, however, she decided that she didn’t like it without me being there with her.  I was not cut out to be a Sentinel Scout for the rest of my life – I think I have too much pride and independence to fit that mold for very long and it flared up there at the last.  I have a huge respect for some of the Sentinels, however, you have to earn my respect just like anyone else would have to do.

Kae, I respect and will honor some of her wishes, however, I am not going to give up my life to make her happy.  She has a much right to go out and spend time with other people away from me too, I’ve told her that repeatedly and if she chooses not to do so, that’s her problem and I won’t allow it to become mine.

As you can plainly tell, I am still a bit upset about some of conversation and I willingly admit that she had some good points, however, some of them were nonsense.  She wasn’t a clinging vine kind of woman when we were in the group in Krasarang and I can’t see the reason why she is trying to do so now.

My Dad always told that he never had felt like Mom was trying to control him and that’s why they have stayed together for so long, not to mention that they still love one another quite deeply.  I think that my Mom’s thoughts on the issues was probably more on the mark though, she told me that she has learned how to compromise, however, it has to be a two way agreement between the parties involved.  Oh, I know that my parents are not perfect, they have arguments and they have had other issues in the past that they have overcome, however, it seems like for the most part, they seem to be happy.

I will admit that I was worried that she had left me because she was gone for a week before I finally found her in one of our old haunts in the Jade Forest.  Let’s just say that I neglected a lot of things just so I could find her and talk to her.   I can understand how she felt, I made a promise to her about doing certain things and I broke that promise, however, I did remind her that even though I promised, I am not perfect.  Now, I’m busting my behind to get the farm back into shape again, Jogu helped out quite a bit, however, there is just too much for one person to do to keep it looking like it should.

I hope that we can get things worked out, however, this whole thing has started me rethinking making any kind of long term commitment again.  I just can’t put myself through this kind of heartache just because I’ve done something that displeases Kae.   She’s done a few things in the past that have definitely displeased me, however, I didn’t take off and not come back or not let her know where I was.  There we go, there’s the compromise thing, it can’t be just one person doing it – it takes two to make a relationship.

I have spent my whole morning, it’s raining like crazy in Halfhill at the moment, just letting my thoughts hinge on things that may be irrelevant to others, however, sometimes when I write things down on paper, I can get a better grasp on it.  I know that I am going to try to keep this relationship going and do my best to make it work, however, Kae is going to have to change some her things too.  We’ll see what happens.

Kaldor Shadowmoon

Time Marches On…and On


 

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

 

May 12th

Dear Journal,

Like so many things in life, you will have those pleasant surprises and you will have those deep disappointments.  It seems that I am in for the record of deep disappointments at the moment and I will have to admit that I am drowning some of my sorrow in my brandy and smoking like a fool.  I actually feel the need for both although I would readily settle for my wife’s loving arms wrapped around me and her soothing kind words.   If she isn’t too busy telling me “I told you so” in those tones that I both love and hate – you can almost hear the laughter in her voice when she says these things.  She doesn’t do it to be cruel, however, it does make me hold my temper in check sometimes.

At least I won’t have to go through the embarrassment of explaining to a prospective groom that his bride has flown the coop.  I was just in the beginning stages of a negotiation with a family and had told them that there were others that I was talking too – which was a lie.  At least no formal paperwork had been submitted or even produced yet, which is a savings in a way too.  Of course, this will make it rather difficult for me to start this process again if my sister decides to come back to Silvermoon again.  Naturally, she hadn’t really known what I was doing because I hadn’t had a chance to tell her about it because I was afraid that this might be her reaction.

I know that I am not going to spend my time worrying about her this time either.  If she happens to turn up somewhere, that’s fine.  I do have an idea of what she has in mind and where she might be heading so I have send word out to Dawnglory for him to keep his eyes open.  She didn’t clean out the safe this time nor did she have access to the cashbox at the office, however, she did sell a few of the antiques from the house she was living in.  I will definitely be getting in touch with Felaran and Tylanlor to have them keep an eye open for our wayward sister too because I know that they are still working with the raw recruits that are showing up there in the Jade Forest.

I know that I am a fool when I keep hoping that she will turn back into the person that I loved years ago.  The kind, considerate and unselfish young woman that I had taken to Dalaran to protect from the ideals of Silvermoon.   I think that I was a little too late in getting her out of that atmosphere though and will regret that until my dying day.

I know that I have been kicking around Azeroth for quite a few years and I have made quite a few mistakes in my life.  I also know that I haven’t always been the smartest of individuals with  a lot of things and I have especially been more than a bit ignorant when it comes to women.   I know that I have slept around quite a bit – there was a time that I had quite a few women that I was sleeping with, that’s why I never have raised that much Hell with Dawnglory and his activities, however, I wasn’t as open or as blatant as he has been in the past.

Now, it seems as though my eldest son has decided to go off the deep-end and has started rebelling against everything.  I thought that the way that Amyn handled the issues with women with Vashlan was well done, however, she has asked me to talk to Kal when we get to Pandaria about his recent conduct in ignoring his woman that he has living with him.   Seems he has started drinking quite a bit and has started going off adventuring with his friends and has expected Kae to stay behind and “wait” for him like a some kind of idiot.  I don’t think he is womanizing or anything like that because that would be totally out of character for him although I know that he likes to flirt as much as I did back in the day even when Amyn was there with me at the time.   Silly kid, I do think that there must be something in the air with my two eldest just now starting to show their Sindorei blood – Vash and his womanizing was very embarrassing to Amyn, however, it did remind me of my past behavior when I was a young man too – just another chip off the old block.

Now with Kal going a bit crazy with his last little fling at youth, I hope that he doesn’t end up losing everything that is truly important to him.  I have to agree with his Mother on this one, I think it’s high time that he made some kind of commitment to his woman instead of just letting things stay as they are. Even though they haven’t’ had any children yet, I do think that he should settle down and quit this nonsense before he gets himself injured or something even worse.  I’ve only met the girl once and she seems very much like Amyn at that age, which I guess is why I am just wondering what is going on in Kal’s mind.

I am supposed to meet with Amyn in Shattrath in a few days and then we are going to take off and go to Pandaria for a while too.  The business is really booming in Shatt and I think that the few places that I have looked at for future sites for a warehouse in Pandaria might be pretty good, however, since both sets of employees will be accessing the warehouse, I do want to make sure that Amyn approves.

Damn!  I do wish that Zippie would hurry up and get her little green self back to Silvermoon.  This office stuff isn’t for me and I have always hated paperwork.  At least Faendra and Felaran would help me with things when I was living in Dalaran – Fae was a very good accountant until she decided that what money was there was for her personal use.

 

Fnor Morningstar

 

 

 

 

Trouble On The Horizon…


May 11th

Dear Journal,

I haven’t seen m husband in over a month and I will have to admit that I am more than anxious to join him in Nagrand for a few days as well as getting back to Pandaria to look at some of the sites that he has visited as a placement for the warehouse up there.  Of course, anytime that I spend with my beloved is time that I will always cherish, even after all of these years.

One of the things that is causing me some concern at the moment is my eldest son, Kaldor.  I don’t know what must be going to through his mind right now because I am afraid that he is going to do as his Father did for years and lose the only thing that actually means anything to him other than his farm in Halfhill.

I guess that he is at the stage in his life where he wants to go out carousing and drinking with his friends even though he has Kae waiting for him at the farm most of the time.  He has no idea where she is right now and the only thing that I can say is that she is in Stormwind for the time being.

I guess he has gone out adventuring with his friends quite a bit in the last couple of months and always promises Kae that it won’t happen again.  He won’t come home looking worse than as if he had been in some battlefield excursion or worse.  Torn clothing, damaged armor as well as some damage to himself that needs proper nursing and care from Kae.  He really must be taking the girl for granted although he hasn’t made any kind of commitment to her yet.  Of course, I can’t let him know that I have spoken with Kae about some of their problems because he was furious the last time that I interfered with things.

He may look Kaldorei, however, underneath that physical appearance is a Sindorei attitude about things.  He is very much like his Father and I don’t know that Kae will be able to tolerate the years of waiting for him to grow up and realize that he has everything he ever wanted or needed waiting for him at home.  I’m not sure that Kae’s feelings for Kal are as strong as mine were and still are for my Sindorei.   I hate to see him make a mistake or the two of them make a mistake by his last flings at youth.  He was always mature beyond his years and I think that he is taking a rebellious route now to make up for all of the years that the was the one that was always so serious and steadfast – it happens.

I suppose I should sit down and write a letter to him or even just stop by the farm and see what he has to say for himself.  I’m really rather anxious to see him and to talk with him about the matter, however, I do have to be extremely careful to make sure that there is no backlash on Kae.  I can honestly say that she hasn’t told me a lot of the details of what has been happening, however, I’ve been around a long time and I can tell when there is trouble brewing between a couple.

The other thing that has me disturbed is that I got a letter from my Mother telling me that one of my cousins has returned from the wilds.  Basaric, the youngest of my cousins, that always seemed so much older than his years.  Of course, that may well be from his calling in life, he is a Druid and from what my Mother said, quite a good one at that.   I trust my Mother’s judgment on the matter of his skills because she has had enough experience dealing with some druids in her past.  She says that he has grown into quite the handsome fellow.

The thing that disturbed me was the fact that he had made some inquiries about one of my parent’s foster children that he had met years ago.  Of course, that would happen to be none other than our own Kae.  It appears that he was quite infatuated when he was a youngster and that infatuation hasn’t waned over time.  I guess my Mother told him about Kae and that she was involved with my son Kaldor.  Great, why didn’t she just give the man the address while she was at it.   I suppose that there could be some trouble looming on the horizon if Kal doesn’t get his act straight.  It really could cause some issues within my own family, not only with Kal, it could cause problems with my parents as well.

 

Amynlarae Shadowmoon

A Matter of Give and Take…


April 27th

Dear Journal,

I will have to admit that I am still very angry with Kal.  He promised me faithfully that he would not get into any more predicaments when he went to Stormwind and he lied.  Not only did he lie, he just ignored the fact that he had made the promise – he never said that, exactly, however, he did look terrible when he got home the other morning.  Yes, it was morning again, not the same day that he had left either.  It was supposed to be a quick trip and back to Halfhill – however, it turned into one of those two day events with a sleepover in Stormwind.

I know that he is used to living his own way, however, that wasn’t the plan when I left the Sentinels.  I was going to work with him and help make money and work on the farm with him as well.  Now, it seems I get left behind at the farm and off he goes adventuring in Stormwind.  I am not sure that I care for some of his friends, although, they seemed to tolerate my presence the last time I saw any of them while I was still in the Sentinels.

It’s not like he forced me to leave the Sentinels, I did it for myself and for him.  He no longer wanted to be a Scout and I didn’t feel comfortable going out in the field for days at a time learning him at home, maybe I should have just stayed with the Sentinels because now I am the one that is being left behind in Halfhill.

I truly gave up the only life that I have known to be with him because I love him beyond reason, which, may be a bit one sided.  He says that he loves me, however, his actions her lately are not showing that to me that much.  He’s all apologetic and he is constantly giving me gifts, however, I need to sit him down and tell him that he can’t buy my forgiveness nor can he buy my love with money and gifts.  That’s not how that works or that’s how I feel.

When he got home the other morning, I was so angry at his appearance and his extended absence that I just walked out of the house.  I know that I didn’t even ask him if he was okay.  His armor looked a mess, he had burn marks on his arms and a few places on his ears, however, I wasn’t going to ask him what happened.  All I know is that he went to Stormwind and was supposed to pick up more contracts from Magdamia and come back after he had gotten paid for the stock and contracts we had completed.

I haven’t been home in almost a week now and I know that he is looking for me, however, I know Pandaria almost as well as he does, so, I know how to stay out of sight as much as possible.  I just need some time to think things over and decide what it is that I want to do.  Do I want to stay in this relationship that seems to have gone eschew and a bit one sided or do I want to go back to the Sentinels and try to put this behind me?

It just breaks my heart to think that I have given almost everything up to be with the man that I love and he is just wild and crazy.  I never saw this side of him when he was my Scout and we were living together even though we both had our duties to attend too.   I know that now that he doesn’t have to follow the discipline of the Sentinels, he’s kind of gone off the deep end a little bit with his independence.

I know we’re both young and we should take our time, however, I do think that he and I need to sit down and talk about a few things.  I can’t stand this constant evasion of telling me beforehand that he is going to meet his friends in Stormwind and he might be gone longer than what we had planned initially.  I am tired of worrying about him and tired of the fact that I get left behind  most of the time.  Yes, I love the farm and I love the house that we have built together, however, I wasn’t planning on being there alone.

Maybe this comes from his mix-breeding, I don’t know and I doubt that this is something that I can talk to his Mother about.  I need to talk to someone and see how they think I should feel about the whole thing.  I know that I will probably go talk to some of the girls back at the camp although I am loathe to do that because they will gossip about how Kal and I aren’t getting along or something.   Maybe I can talk to one of the Pandaren monks and see what he or she  advises  or just maybe go back to Darnassus and seek counsel with the priests and pray to Elune for a while.

I’m not going to let Kal know where I am right now, let him think about the things that have happened and he needs to make a few choices and adjustments, I can’t be the only one doing that.

Kae