Only Make Promises You Can Keep


June 12th

Dear Journal,

After going through  the hellfire of making Kae angry at me the last time and having her leave was enough for me to reconsider a few things that I have been doing in the past few months.  To be honest, I thought that she was gone for good because I had made promises that I didn’t keep and I know that it hurt her deeply because I could see the sadness in her eyes as well as the anger when she left. I’m just happy that we are back together and I hope that we can put the past behind us without too much trouble.   I do know that there will always be a shadow on our relationship though because once you violate the rules, some of that trust is gone.

I know that my Mom was none too pleased with me as well because I had to go into Stormwind to get the repairs done to my armor after my last escapade.  I didn’t think twice about putting it on the company’s accounts either because it is a practice that I have always done.  I suppose that the smithy’s apprentice went to the office to make sure that it was okay to go over the price limit that was normally the case for people using the account.

The next thing I know, there is my Mother standing next to my table at the Blue Recluse where Vashlan and I had gone to have a few drinks and some dinner before I went back to Pandaria after picking up my repaired armor.  I could tell that she was angry just by the way that she was standing there with hands on her hips and her eyes were definitely steely.  Vash and I asked her to join us for a drink and that’s when she started talking to me in very clipped sentences.  There was no scene, no loud shouting, which I might have been able to endure a bit better, however, the low conversation carried quite an impact.

I guess that Magdamia got the notice from the blacksmith and hot-hoofed to wherever my Mom was in the building and off the went to the blacksmith to see the armor before the repairs were done. So Mom saw the damages, the acid burns as well as  a few deeply scored areas which really upset her quite a bit, however, she approved the repairs and set off to find me, which she did.

I explained to her what was going on and the way that her mouth kept popping open and closed she almost made me start laughing because she looked very much like a fish out of water.   Yes, I was involved in some pretty strange stuff and we had overcome the adversary without loss of life, however, we all sustained damages of some sort or another.  I was intelligent enough not to start laughing because I might have ended up wearing the pewter tankards that were on the table.  One does not laugh at my Mother unless she is intentionally being funny and you know it.   She did let me know that in the future that any wear and tear above and beyond the normal wear and tear should be paid for out of my own funds unless it was company related.

Of course, she was all ears when I told that Kae had left me for a time due to my activities with my friends and that she had come home.  I think Mom almost said “I told you so” a couple of times, however, she refrained from doing that because Vashlan was sitting there being all ears.  I was a little bit put out that Mother insisted that we discuss these things in front of my brother, however, I can also see that Mom was using that as a training tool for Vashlan too since he has been misbehaving a little bit recently.

I know after the discussion was had and my Mom’s opinion got put in the proper place, like right between my ears, I told them that I wasn’t going to spend the night in Stormwind and would be heading back to Halfhill as soon as my armor was finished.

I’ll admit that it felt strange for me not to go to the Pig to see how my friends were doing and to see what was going on, however, I decided that I had better forego that thought for a while because it has caused me enough trouble in the last few months and that it was about to cause me to lose the one thing that I hold very dear and that is Kaelendra.  Yep, I’m going to toe the mark for a while and build up the trust again so that Kae will feel better and so will I.  No, I’m not caving in to Kae’s wants and desires, I’m doing what is right to keep our relationship together.  I’m still my own man and will do what I think is the right thing to do, however, in the future, I won’t make promises that I can’t keep.

 

Kaldor Shadowmoon 

Meanwhile…Back In Stormwind


June 9th

Dear Journal,

While it can be said that I enjoy working for Shadowmoon Enterprises, I’m not so sure that I enjoy having to deal with this little frog person from Morningstar Enterprises when I am in Shattrath.  Her voice, oh by the Light, her voice makes my teeth hurt and the language – it’s so crude sounding when she speaks Common, which she has a limited vocabulary at best.  At least we’re not together all of the time, we just happen to run into one another in Shattrath from time to time. Zippie, what a ridiculous name that is and the surname isn’t too far from wrong with it being Prattfall – she does seem to do that frequently, in my opinion.

I suppose if I could be considered a traitor in some circles by working for an employer that is married to a Sindorei and they are running businesses and selling goods to both factions.  Amyn tells me that is making money for both sides and that I should realize that she would never do anything that would be harmful for the Alliance.  I do know that we don’t send out weapons to the Horde, however, we send out all manner of goods to them.  Of course, now that this Zippie person has access to our warehouse goods in Shattrath, it will mean that I will have to inventory a lot more when I am down there to make sure that we have what  we need to service our customers and that we are being compensated correctly when she takes goods.  I don’t think that combining the two companies outwardly like it has been done is a wise decision either – what if some person happens to talk to the right people in Stormwind, we could all end up in jail.  At least I only have to endure the place once a month down there and collect what monies are owed on contracts if Amyn hasn’t already done so.  She works hard for a boss and I will have to tip my hat to her for that because she seems to balance her marriage, her family and the political situation quite well.   I have seen her husband in Shattrath and I will have to admit that he is quite handsome for a Blood Elf.  I can actually see some resemblance in the boys now that I have laid eyes on their Sire.  Most assuredly, the boys look more decidedly Kaldorei, however, the way they both smile  and that self-assuredness that seems to be a trait of the Sindorei is definitely in evidence.

I will have to admit that I enjoyed the short trip that I made to Pandaria, however, I’m not sure that I like all of the bears there.  Oh, they are friendly and likeable enough, however, I don’t think that I have ever been overly fond of furries.  The countryside is beautiful and dangerous in some areas or so I’m told.  I know that I was up there primarily to give my opinion on opening another warehouse up there and I don’t think that it is such a good idea because who knows which way the Horde will go from one day to the next  – the other company’s people might decide to revolt and take everything over and then, where would our employees be?  Not a good plan in my considered opinion.

I had Vashlan keep an eye on things while I was away and his Mother was visiting with his Father.  Not real sure that was such a good idea.  He hired some people while I was away and I can’t help but feel that he wasn’t using his brain when he hired them – they were all women.   At least I know what drives the young man and I think that I will ask someone else the next time I have to be absent and Amyn isn’t going to be in town.   We’ll have to see how all of this works out, won’t we?

I guess that Kaldor is making arrangements to have all of his stock for his contracts shipped into Stormwind instead of making the trip down like he was.  I wonder what is up with that, I really like that young fellow.  I suppose his late night carousing here in Stormwind with his friends has caused him some complications with his woman, she’s a Sentinel or was a Sentinel and those women don’t put up with much nonsense from their men, which is as it should be.

Oh, I did have a nice surprise when I got back to town.  I had a letter from Lagn and he is staying in Darnassus for the time being.  He also had some flowers delivered that were quite lovely.  The letter was friendly enough and was mostly about his time with the Kaldorei and then he asked me out to dinner.  I suppose it wouldn’t hurt anything if I did go out to dinner with him even if he is an employee.  I’ll have to give that some thought though, might not  be the proper thing to do.

Oh well, I suppose I ought to stop writing and get back to work.  I just dread trying to balance the books for our share in Shattrath and then have to turn around and balance the books for here in Stormwind.  There are times that I feel almost trapped at my desk and the weather has turned quite lovely and I would like to be outside enjoying it – this past winter of being stuck here most of the time has made me almost loathe it.

Magdamia

 

 

 

Learning To Compromise…


May 20th

Dear Journal,

Well, I finally located Kae and we had a nice long discussion and I have to agree with her that I have been extremely selfish about some things.   We’ve been together for quite a while and we have enjoyed that time together for the most part.  I think what has been going on is that I am doing things now that I should have done at a much younger age because I don’t feel like I have any consequences for my actions.  Well, the thing is that I do.

I’m old enough now and free enough that when someone that I care about starts putting out rules for me to follow or this happens – like leaving me – or if I do something that they don’t approve of, they feel they have the right to wreck havoc in my life, I tend to rebel. When I was growing up, my Mother was very strict and when my Father weighed in, I knew that I was in for some serious trouble, however, with Kae – her threat is that she will leave.  I love her, however, you can’t keep me a prisoner to my own emotions either. I did have to remind Kae that I am a grown man, we do have an unspoken commitment to one another and it’s something that we’re going to be working on.

Yes, she did give up being a Sentinel, however, that was her choice and not mine to make for her.   She could have stayed with the group if she had truly felt that way, however, she decided that she didn’t like it without me being there with her.  I was not cut out to be a Sentinel Scout for the rest of my life – I think I have too much pride and independence to fit that mold for very long and it flared up there at the last.  I have a huge respect for some of the Sentinels, however, you have to earn my respect just like anyone else would have to do.

Kae, I respect and will honor some of her wishes, however, I am not going to give up my life to make her happy.  She has a much right to go out and spend time with other people away from me too, I’ve told her that repeatedly and if she chooses not to do so, that’s her problem and I won’t allow it to become mine.

As you can plainly tell, I am still a bit upset about some of conversation and I willingly admit that she had some good points, however, some of them were nonsense.  She wasn’t a clinging vine kind of woman when we were in the group in Krasarang and I can’t see the reason why she is trying to do so now.

My Dad always told that he never had felt like Mom was trying to control him and that’s why they have stayed together for so long, not to mention that they still love one another quite deeply.  I think that my Mom’s thoughts on the issues was probably more on the mark though, she told me that she has learned how to compromise, however, it has to be a two way agreement between the parties involved.  Oh, I know that my parents are not perfect, they have arguments and they have had other issues in the past that they have overcome, however, it seems like for the most part, they seem to be happy.

I will admit that I was worried that she had left me because she was gone for a week before I finally found her in one of our old haunts in the Jade Forest.  Let’s just say that I neglected a lot of things just so I could find her and talk to her.   I can understand how she felt, I made a promise to her about doing certain things and I broke that promise, however, I did remind her that even though I promised, I am not perfect.  Now, I’m busting my behind to get the farm back into shape again, Jogu helped out quite a bit, however, there is just too much for one person to do to keep it looking like it should.

I hope that we can get things worked out, however, this whole thing has started me rethinking making any kind of long term commitment again.  I just can’t put myself through this kind of heartache just because I’ve done something that displeases Kae.   She’s done a few things in the past that have definitely displeased me, however, I didn’t take off and not come back or not let her know where I was.  There we go, there’s the compromise thing, it can’t be just one person doing it – it takes two to make a relationship.

I have spent my whole morning, it’s raining like crazy in Halfhill at the moment, just letting my thoughts hinge on things that may be irrelevant to others, however, sometimes when I write things down on paper, I can get a better grasp on it.  I know that I am going to try to keep this relationship going and do my best to make it work, however, Kae is going to have to change some her things too.  We’ll see what happens.

Kaldor Shadowmoon

Time Marches On…and On


 

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

 

May 12th

Dear Journal,

Like so many things in life, you will have those pleasant surprises and you will have those deep disappointments.  It seems that I am in for the record of deep disappointments at the moment and I will have to admit that I am drowning some of my sorrow in my brandy and smoking like a fool.  I actually feel the need for both although I would readily settle for my wife’s loving arms wrapped around me and her soothing kind words.   If she isn’t too busy telling me “I told you so” in those tones that I both love and hate – you can almost hear the laughter in her voice when she says these things.  She doesn’t do it to be cruel, however, it does make me hold my temper in check sometimes.

At least I won’t have to go through the embarrassment of explaining to a prospective groom that his bride has flown the coop.  I was just in the beginning stages of a negotiation with a family and had told them that there were others that I was talking too – which was a lie.  At least no formal paperwork had been submitted or even produced yet, which is a savings in a way too.  Of course, this will make it rather difficult for me to start this process again if my sister decides to come back to Silvermoon again.  Naturally, she hadn’t really known what I was doing because I hadn’t had a chance to tell her about it because I was afraid that this might be her reaction.

I know that I am not going to spend my time worrying about her this time either.  If she happens to turn up somewhere, that’s fine.  I do have an idea of what she has in mind and where she might be heading so I have send word out to Dawnglory for him to keep his eyes open.  She didn’t clean out the safe this time nor did she have access to the cashbox at the office, however, she did sell a few of the antiques from the house she was living in.  I will definitely be getting in touch with Felaran and Tylanlor to have them keep an eye open for our wayward sister too because I know that they are still working with the raw recruits that are showing up there in the Jade Forest.

I know that I am a fool when I keep hoping that she will turn back into the person that I loved years ago.  The kind, considerate and unselfish young woman that I had taken to Dalaran to protect from the ideals of Silvermoon.   I think that I was a little too late in getting her out of that atmosphere though and will regret that until my dying day.

I know that I have been kicking around Azeroth for quite a few years and I have made quite a few mistakes in my life.  I also know that I haven’t always been the smartest of individuals with  a lot of things and I have especially been more than a bit ignorant when it comes to women.   I know that I have slept around quite a bit – there was a time that I had quite a few women that I was sleeping with, that’s why I never have raised that much Hell with Dawnglory and his activities, however, I wasn’t as open or as blatant as he has been in the past.

Now, it seems as though my eldest son has decided to go off the deep-end and has started rebelling against everything.  I thought that the way that Amyn handled the issues with women with Vashlan was well done, however, she has asked me to talk to Kal when we get to Pandaria about his recent conduct in ignoring his woman that he has living with him.   Seems he has started drinking quite a bit and has started going off adventuring with his friends and has expected Kae to stay behind and “wait” for him like a some kind of idiot.  I don’t think he is womanizing or anything like that because that would be totally out of character for him although I know that he likes to flirt as much as I did back in the day even when Amyn was there with me at the time.   Silly kid, I do think that there must be something in the air with my two eldest just now starting to show their Sindorei blood – Vash and his womanizing was very embarrassing to Amyn, however, it did remind me of my past behavior when I was a young man too – just another chip off the old block.

Now with Kal going a bit crazy with his last little fling at youth, I hope that he doesn’t end up losing everything that is truly important to him.  I have to agree with his Mother on this one, I think it’s high time that he made some kind of commitment to his woman instead of just letting things stay as they are. Even though they haven’t’ had any children yet, I do think that he should settle down and quit this nonsense before he gets himself injured or something even worse.  I’ve only met the girl once and she seems very much like Amyn at that age, which I guess is why I am just wondering what is going on in Kal’s mind.

I am supposed to meet with Amyn in Shattrath in a few days and then we are going to take off and go to Pandaria for a while too.  The business is really booming in Shatt and I think that the few places that I have looked at for future sites for a warehouse in Pandaria might be pretty good, however, since both sets of employees will be accessing the warehouse, I do want to make sure that Amyn approves.

Damn!  I do wish that Zippie would hurry up and get her little green self back to Silvermoon.  This office stuff isn’t for me and I have always hated paperwork.  At least Faendra and Felaran would help me with things when I was living in Dalaran – Fae was a very good accountant until she decided that what money was there was for her personal use.

 

Fnor Morningstar

 

 

 

 

Trouble On The Horizon…


May 11th

Dear Journal,

I haven’t seen m husband in over a month and I will have to admit that I am more than anxious to join him in Nagrand for a few days as well as getting back to Pandaria to look at some of the sites that he has visited as a placement for the warehouse up there.  Of course, anytime that I spend with my beloved is time that I will always cherish, even after all of these years.

One of the things that is causing me some concern at the moment is my eldest son, Kaldor.  I don’t know what must be going to through his mind right now because I am afraid that he is going to do as his Father did for years and lose the only thing that actually means anything to him other than his farm in Halfhill.

I guess that he is at the stage in his life where he wants to go out carousing and drinking with his friends even though he has Kae waiting for him at the farm most of the time.  He has no idea where she is right now and the only thing that I can say is that she is in Stormwind for the time being.

I guess he has gone out adventuring with his friends quite a bit in the last couple of months and always promises Kae that it won’t happen again.  He won’t come home looking worse than as if he had been in some battlefield excursion or worse.  Torn clothing, damaged armor as well as some damage to himself that needs proper nursing and care from Kae.  He really must be taking the girl for granted although he hasn’t made any kind of commitment to her yet.  Of course, I can’t let him know that I have spoken with Kae about some of their problems because he was furious the last time that I interfered with things.

He may look Kaldorei, however, underneath that physical appearance is a Sindorei attitude about things.  He is very much like his Father and I don’t know that Kae will be able to tolerate the years of waiting for him to grow up and realize that he has everything he ever wanted or needed waiting for him at home.  I’m not sure that Kae’s feelings for Kal are as strong as mine were and still are for my Sindorei.   I hate to see him make a mistake or the two of them make a mistake by his last flings at youth.  He was always mature beyond his years and I think that he is taking a rebellious route now to make up for all of the years that the was the one that was always so serious and steadfast – it happens.

I suppose I should sit down and write a letter to him or even just stop by the farm and see what he has to say for himself.  I’m really rather anxious to see him and to talk with him about the matter, however, I do have to be extremely careful to make sure that there is no backlash on Kae.  I can honestly say that she hasn’t told me a lot of the details of what has been happening, however, I’ve been around a long time and I can tell when there is trouble brewing between a couple.

The other thing that has me disturbed is that I got a letter from my Mother telling me that one of my cousins has returned from the wilds.  Basaric, the youngest of my cousins, that always seemed so much older than his years.  Of course, that may well be from his calling in life, he is a Druid and from what my Mother said, quite a good one at that.   I trust my Mother’s judgment on the matter of his skills because she has had enough experience dealing with some druids in her past.  She says that he has grown into quite the handsome fellow.

The thing that disturbed me was the fact that he had made some inquiries about one of my parent’s foster children that he had met years ago.  Of course, that would happen to be none other than our own Kae.  It appears that he was quite infatuated when he was a youngster and that infatuation hasn’t waned over time.  I guess my Mother told him about Kae and that she was involved with my son Kaldor.  Great, why didn’t she just give the man the address while she was at it.   I suppose that there could be some trouble looming on the horizon if Kal doesn’t get his act straight.  It really could cause some issues within my own family, not only with Kal, it could cause problems with my parents as well.

 

Amynlarae Shadowmoon

A Matter of Give and Take…


April 27th

Dear Journal,

I will have to admit that I am still very angry with Kal.  He promised me faithfully that he would not get into any more predicaments when he went to Stormwind and he lied.  Not only did he lie, he just ignored the fact that he had made the promise – he never said that, exactly, however, he did look terrible when he got home the other morning.  Yes, it was morning again, not the same day that he had left either.  It was supposed to be a quick trip and back to Halfhill – however, it turned into one of those two day events with a sleepover in Stormwind.

I know that he is used to living his own way, however, that wasn’t the plan when I left the Sentinels.  I was going to work with him and help make money and work on the farm with him as well.  Now, it seems I get left behind at the farm and off he goes adventuring in Stormwind.  I am not sure that I care for some of his friends, although, they seemed to tolerate my presence the last time I saw any of them while I was still in the Sentinels.

It’s not like he forced me to leave the Sentinels, I did it for myself and for him.  He no longer wanted to be a Scout and I didn’t feel comfortable going out in the field for days at a time learning him at home, maybe I should have just stayed with the Sentinels because now I am the one that is being left behind in Halfhill.

I truly gave up the only life that I have known to be with him because I love him beyond reason, which, may be a bit one sided.  He says that he loves me, however, his actions her lately are not showing that to me that much.  He’s all apologetic and he is constantly giving me gifts, however, I need to sit him down and tell him that he can’t buy my forgiveness nor can he buy my love with money and gifts.  That’s not how that works or that’s how I feel.

When he got home the other morning, I was so angry at his appearance and his extended absence that I just walked out of the house.  I know that I didn’t even ask him if he was okay.  His armor looked a mess, he had burn marks on his arms and a few places on his ears, however, I wasn’t going to ask him what happened.  All I know is that he went to Stormwind and was supposed to pick up more contracts from Magdamia and come back after he had gotten paid for the stock and contracts we had completed.

I haven’t been home in almost a week now and I know that he is looking for me, however, I know Pandaria almost as well as he does, so, I know how to stay out of sight as much as possible.  I just need some time to think things over and decide what it is that I want to do.  Do I want to stay in this relationship that seems to have gone eschew and a bit one sided or do I want to go back to the Sentinels and try to put this behind me?

It just breaks my heart to think that I have given almost everything up to be with the man that I love and he is just wild and crazy.  I never saw this side of him when he was my Scout and we were living together even though we both had our duties to attend too.   I know that now that he doesn’t have to follow the discipline of the Sentinels, he’s kind of gone off the deep end a little bit with his independence.

I know we’re both young and we should take our time, however, I do think that he and I need to sit down and talk about a few things.  I can’t stand this constant evasion of telling me beforehand that he is going to meet his friends in Stormwind and he might be gone longer than what we had planned initially.  I am tired of worrying about him and tired of the fact that I get left behind  most of the time.  Yes, I love the farm and I love the house that we have built together, however, I wasn’t planning on being there alone.

Maybe this comes from his mix-breeding, I don’t know and I doubt that this is something that I can talk to his Mother about.  I need to talk to someone and see how they think I should feel about the whole thing.  I know that I will probably go talk to some of the girls back at the camp although I am loathe to do that because they will gossip about how Kal and I aren’t getting along or something.   Maybe I can talk to one of the Pandaren monks and see what he or she  advises  or just maybe go back to Darnassus and seek counsel with the priests and pray to Elune for a while.

I’m not going to let Kal know where I am right now, let him think about the things that have happened and he needs to make a few choices and adjustments, I can’t be the only one doing that.

Kae

Everything Is New … Time To Begin Again


April 24th

Dear Journal,

I suppose that I have to admit that I am enjoying my life in this new land despite the Curse.  In fact, I think that the Curse has enabled me to become more independent and successful at my chosen profession.  I know that I can stand and hunt with the best of them although I have not chosen to run with a pack yet.

Sure, I have met a few of my same persuasion, however, I am so used to being my own boss that I would find it rather difficult to follow the rules set forth by another.   Unfortunately, my Father taught me too well how to stand on my own two feet and make my own way.

The hunting is plentiful and I have been able to do all of the things that I would have normally done with the exception of living in a fine house and still having my family with me.  Ah yes, that does make me sad at some level, however, without the added burdens of the social acumen pressing on me to take a wife and have children to pass on the noble family name, I am finding it rather pleasant.  Where else could I live that allowed me to socialize with others and still maintain my independence?

This new found freedom is almost more than I can bear at this point.  I know that my life is very different if things had remained as they were in Gilneas.  I know that I would be attending quite a few more social gatherings in my Mother’s hopes of finding a bride and I would have been working with my Father to carry on the family traditions of working in the business.  Although we were of noble blood, there still had to be a way to earn a living in addition to anything that you might have gleaned from your ancestors as far as wealth.

I know that I have met a few people that I knew at home and strangely enough, they all seem to have become nobility since they landed in this new land.  Lord and Lady Whatsis, well, I fully recollect them being trades people at home, the wife was a school teacher and he was a butcher of sorts.  So, I suppose if they choose to live their new lives with the pretense of a lie, that is their business and I will not disclose their falsehoods.  I know that more than just a few people in Gilneas yearned to have that nobility crown, well, I can tell you from experience, it isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be when you get out into the real world.

Speaking of the real world, I know that I am just breaking into the edges of this land of Kalimdor and I have visited the large city in the Eastern Kingdom called Stormwind.   I can’t say that I was that thrilled with Stormwind due to the overcrowding, however, it is all a new beginning and I won’t let anyone spoil that wonder for me.   To begin one’s life anew is not something that one should throw carelessly away by clinging too hard to your past.   Let the past bury itself and live for the now and for the things that come – that’s what I fully plan on doing.

I know that I am going to live my life as it is and take what joy I can from being granted a second chance whether it came from this Elune or from the Light – it’s new, it’s exciting and I have finally convinced myself that I have no real regrets of things that have happened in the past.  Yes, there is a part of me that feels horrible for what befell my family at my own hand, however, the beast was the one that did the killing, not me the man.

Alexander Brandric