*Language might be a little salty for some, so, if that offends you, please do not read.*
I woke up this morning and almost thought that Romy was back, I could smell perfume in the air and could almost feel her body lying next to mine. Oh my, my heart was pounding until I opened my eyes and discovered that it was only a dream. What a fucking nightmare it is to awaken and find that your heart’s desire is not there after all.
Damn it!! I constantly feel as if my heart were breaking and that time is standing still just to torture me for some past transgressions – I know that haven’t been a fucking angel or anything of that nature, so, I’m sure that I have chalked up a few errors in my past. Before I met Romy and fell in love with her, there wasn’t a woman safe on the planet. If I found her attractive and she felt the same for me, it was all over because my moral compass was a bit lax.
I’m wide awake now and I can still smell that perfume in the air. Something is not right with that because I know that I haven’t shaved, no cologne from me, and the smell is something that I am very familiar with. It’s almost as if someone were here in my house on the farm. This has me really fucking distracted as hell and I can’t get the smell out of my nostrils. Oh wait, the smell is on the bed and on the pillows next to where I was sleeping. Did someone come in here while I was asleep and I didn’t wake up – could be – I know I drank myself senseless last night here alone. Yeah, I fucking cried myself to sleep and no one knows that better than me. What wouldn’t I give to have my family back.
I had been out looking for Romy and the kids and still no luck and still no information. I know that her family is looking as hard as I am for them. How can a grown woman and two small children just disappear like that? No, I’m not a fucking moron, I know that it can happen, however, not to a woman that is as adept at handling situations as my Romy.
I know that she left Pandaria and was in route to Orgrimmar with the kids and supposedly would travel on to Northrend to visit her family there. Well, they never made to Orgrimmar. We did find a crash site of a Zep in Hyjal and a baby shoe was found by one of Romy’s relatives and identified. I know they aren’t dead, I would feel it in my soul if they were. We are all still searching for them, however, where could they be?
Well, I should go back to Draenor for a few days to attend to my duties there and get orders set up for my Garrison before I can come back and search some more. I’m sure that the Horde will understand if I tell them to go to hell while I try to piece my life back together and if they don’t, they can kiss my backside.
Anyway, to make the long story short, I finally have my gaming computer back up and running and I will have to admit that I am totally amazed at how the World of Warcraft looks with the new video card. Mind boggling at how long I was just happy to be able to play the game at all. So, it’s off to the races and back to some gaming in Legion. I am so far behind everyone else that I know that it really doesn’t matter how I play, so, it’s back to playing for the sake of fun, which is what I pay for.
As I said previously, I did get a new keyboard and mouse for Mother’s Day and only got to play with them for a few hours before we decided to upgrade the computer and three weeks later – a birthday too – the thing is up and going strong. Now I will be able to finally take some screen shots that take forever to load and look at the map without the game just stopping until I closed – yeah, it was bad. Processor was great; however, the old video card was kind of bad but doable and I had to make-do until I could afford to do the upgrade.
Now the fun part begins with me trying to play and get used to the new toys. The keyboard that I got isn’t a big deal other than it is a gaming keyboard that I have never had before. Big, keys all over the place and lots of buttons that I will eventually figure out the key bindings. Mouse is trippy with all kinds of buttons too that, thankfully, it downloaded the stuff it needed that was compatible with WoW and I’m getting used to that. LOL, I am going to play off by myself for a while until I get the hang of this new stuff because I have already shot off some stuff by moving the mouse – hehe, was kind of funny but I really didn’t want to kill the little critter either. I know that I am talking to myself a lot when my character takes off and trots off the side of a mountain because I’m trying to make them stop – I’ll get it figured out. Just typing in chat is sometimes a challenge because I am still trying to get the feel of the keyboard and key layout – no multitasking for a while. So, if I respond to you with gibberish, sorry, fingers got on the wrong keys.
That old saying of “You can’t teach an old dog some new tricks” that we’ve all heard a thousand times. Well, I am going to do my best to prove that wrong.
March 16, 2017
It does seem as though I am fluctuating back and forth with World of Warcraft lately and it may well be a burnout issue. There are days that I just don’t really feel like playing and there are days that I just want to play and try to figure some of this garbage out. Some of the things in Legion are just confusing to me and sometimes I feel as if I have it figured out and they change things. Blizzard has put tons of stuff in Legion, however, the RNG has got to be at the highest level that it has ever been. Still no Legendary anything for me yet, so, it may get chalked up with the not flying this expansion.
Still stuck with just the one 110 and that’s because I had started my second Main (Alliance) in Warlords and yanked him out of there to start in Legion and I’m just stuck. I guess I should just clean his bags out and start fresh again. I hate dumping quests because I did that once back in the day and have never been able to recover from that for Loremaster.
Nope, still don’t have Loremaster yet after these years of playing the game. Oh, I’ve gotten close a couple of times and had one more area to go before everything got wiped in Cataclysm – I was totally bummed with that. No, not the expansion itself, just the fact that I had to start the areas over again for them to count towards the achievement. Of course, we now have a whole lot of stuff to do in Legion to get that one completely cleared out for Loremaster. Some people say to stay on one character and some say to spread it around on multiples – well, at least the achievements are shared these days. I’ll eventually get it all done if I can keep playing long enough.
I have started watching Twitch/TV to see some of the dungeons and see how others are playing the game, it’s been very entertaining at times. At least I haven’t been depressed all the time with the news on television. I know that I’ve been closely watching all the stuff on the medical insurance because I may have to make the decisions if I want to play WoW, eat or take my meds that I need to survive – a lot of Seniors must make the choices if they are going to be able to afford some of the insurance supplements that help Medicare work for us. It’s been a rather worrisome issue and the not knowing when the shoe will drop.
Just watched the Q&A about itemization and the only thing that I found interesting is that they are going to jump up the Heirlooms to 110 in the future. It won’t happen in the coming patch, 7.2, because of the changes being made to artifacts and the Broken Shores invasion again. Sounded a lot like how they did the Garrisons – hell’s bells, I’m not even near ready for the next patch. At least they are now realizing that people are wanting to play their alts and not being locked into one character for the duration of the expansion. I have too many alts and accounts to just let them sit there and was seriously thinking about going through and dumping some of them again.
One thing that I do know about myself is that I tend to jump around on my characters to try to avoid burnout in current content. At least if they put in the changes for the Heirlooms sometime after 7.2 drops (no date was mentioned) it will make the transition a lot easier. You can also buy the boost up for the artifacts once you hit the 110 level – sounds a whole lot better than having to go through a lot of the same content repeatedly.
They did announce another Q&A for next week and they will have one of the Devs coming on to talk about the patch content for 7.2 – apparently, there is some confusion as to what is going to be done with the “build” mode for the new area. Yes, we’re back to building buildings and upgrading that stuff again. Really sounds like another continuation of Garrisons from WoD. I hope I can catch that one so I can see if I have something to look forward too – no mention of when flying will be added either. Kind of makes me worry that we’re going to get hammered by the RNG Gods even harder again. I know that I am personally just about at the limit of how much more I can bust my bum without feeling like things are progressing at all. I guess my Twitch watching is trying to get myself inspired a little bit too. Sure, wish I could excited about some of this stuff. I’ll come toddling along at some point because I am still so far behind that it is going to take me several months to get to where some of the people I know are already.
See you all in-game soon.
It’s really been quite some time since I have written in journal, however, I’m back at the farm in Halfhill and I must admit that I am just enjoying being here and having some free time on my hands too. It feels good to be sitting on the front steps of the house in a robe and not having to be in full armor with my weapon close to hand. It’s just nice to enjoy sitting here in the sunshine and watching the animals play on the farm and not having people constantly charging up and asking for more “orders” to be given or to give me an urgent message about some nonsense.
Just having some privacy and being able to relax has been such a bonus to me and to Kae. I don’t think that either one of us realized how exhausted we were with the constant being on duty required of us in Draenor. Oh, there were things that we both like about commanding a Garrison, however, there were so many things that we disliked. Not having any privacy was the main failing point in our eyes because we couldn’t seem to find that much time alone and even if we did, someone would find us. I know that one time we went all the way to Nagrand to find a place to be alone and I’ll be damned if one of the couriers showed up not even an hour after we arrived. Talk about feeling awkward, we weren’t exactly dressed for the occasion, as it were. It made me wish for the old days in our old Nagrand where we could slip away and find a nice floating island to spend some time alone and watch the clouds passing us by – nope that doesn’t exist on Draenor.
We still must go back to Draenor every few days to check on our place and to make sure that the duties are being carried out, however, we aren’t restricted to just that. We are taking a bit of a respite from our service so that we can recoup some of our energy before we rejoin our forces in The Broken Isle, which, I am not looking forward too at all. From everything that I have heard, I’m not looking forward to going even if that is supposedly our duty because I can’t say that I have ever been overly fond of the stench of Fel and I am not fond of demons in all shapes and sizes trying to take my life either. I know that Kae and I were discussing some of this as we lay in bed the other night and neither one of us is anxious to get back into the old routine of going out on patrols and then racing like we’re on fire to get back to our headquarters to make our reports. Getting back into the routine of Scout and Sentinel isn’t something that we will have trouble with, however, we will have a bit of trouble adjusting to taking orders from someone else when we have gotten so used to having control of that sort of thing ourselves. Oh well, we’ll go where our duty requires us to go even if we’re not going to like it.
I always wonder if we are ever going to have a peaceful time in our lives. I know that my Father does talk about a time when things were not so chaotic and full battles going on constantly. That was long before I was born, although my parents were already mated at that point – she was in Shattrath at that point and my Father was in Dalaran getting his company established there as a civilian mercenary – that’s when all the Import/Export business started and made it possible for us to have other branches of the company all over Azeroth and represented in both factions. If only some of the people realized that Morningstar Enterprises and Shadowmoon Enterprises was owned and operated by the same family, they just see different faces running things wherever they happen to be. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a good idea for them to know because one company is owned by a Sindorei and the other by a Kaldorei that happen to be married to one another – I’m sure some people would consider them both to be traitors, not only to their factions, which would be a bad thing, I’m sure.
I know that Kae still gets ridiculed for being involved with a half-breed, however, she has taken it all in stride these last few years and I must admire her for that sometimes. It hasn’t made her life an easy one with the Sentinels, however, she thinks that some of them are just envious of the fact that not only am I her Scout, I’m also her lover. I’m also starting to give more thought to us taking our vows at the moonwell in Darnassus too, it’s time that we made our relationship a bit more permanent. I know that she would be a lot happier and it might make her life easier in the troop. I know that I would be one of the few mates that would still be seeing active duty with their spouses and I would not be relegated to something else.
We have been talking about having children sometime soon too. One of the things that I don’t like is the fact that she would like to utilize the communal type of child-rearing that she had growing up and I am more inclined to go along with the way that my parents raised me. I know my family and I love them, is that not a good thing? I know that the Sentinels feel that their children gain more experiences of life without being held too close to their parents, however, I feel that the kids are being cheated out of a foundation of having a family and what that truly means. Oh, I can just know how my Mother would react to a grandchild of hers being reared without knowing their family – the explosion would be heard all the way through time to Draenor.
Ah well, I’m sure that things will happen in due time. Kae and I are not in a hurry to change things dramatically in our lives now. I know that things are still chaotic with our war on the Legion at this point and we both know that things can change dramatically with that situation. We may not have all the time in the world to do all the things that we want, however, if we’re both happy and healthy, we shouldn’t change things at this point.
I know that I am starting to feel like my Sindorei parent in the way that he would love to have a time of peace for a while. He has spent his entire life being involved in wars and serving the Horde – he would like to have the time to just enjoy life with the concerns of a war adding stress to it. I wonder if we will ever see that so-called peace in my lifetime?
February 12 2017
I’ve had kind of an interesting week for myself in World of Warcraft. Not that I did anything too exciting or anything, however, I did decide of sorts with the way that I have been playing. I have been plodding along on my main and it sure doesn’t seem like I am getting anywhere and hedging around the edges of burnout even if I hadn’t played for a while – it just seems sort of unfulfilling in Legion sometimes.
Sometimes while I am playing in Broken Isles it just seems like it is never-ending and that I can’t really see any progress to speak of, which is kind of frustrating. It seems like I spend much of my time just trying to get caught up with my always full quest log and trying to see if I can accomplish anything. Still haven’t finished doing the reps to where I can to do the World Quests and it seems like that is something that I should have been doing months ago – still not geared up the way that I should be either and I know that that is my fault because I haven’t been playing as much to get the stuff. I know that I am always reading on the forums about artifacts and such, have yet to see one or gain one on any of my characters that are leveling in Legion yet. I haven’t really done any of the group activities either because I’m not part of a group with my guild – it’s just me. Soloing isn’t all that bad and I do have access for the dungeons and such, however, my biggest problem is that I don’t have any enchants on anything yet and haven’t felt like blowing a lot of gold on it because as soon as I do, I’ll end up replacing said gear. Yeah, the dual edged sword thing. Still questing and still doing the storylines as I can and trying to figure out what is really going on. Sometimes the quest lines complete and sometimes they just lead me further into the abyss of “not knowing” what the heck I’m doing.
I know that I can’t be the only one that enjoys playing in Legion and at the same time I feel like some misplaced tourist that is trying to find their way through a country that has no maps, no directions and certainly no one that speaks the same language. As for Class Fantasy – well, I still have the fantasy about the fact that my hunters were always a lot stronger that some of the mobs and it isn’t every day that I get killed by a butterfly. Tried a few other classes and have the same feeling of “something’s not quite right here” when I am playing.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I’m playing a lot in the old content on my alts because I still enjoy the game and try to lose myself in it for a few hours at a clip. I’m avoiding dealing with the realities in my life and that I am just going to mark time for the next few years until something changes for the better – scary stuff going on in life right now. I used to be quite the traveler in my younger years and no problems with leaving the country and coming back – now, I’m just worried about friends and families that have gone on trips and worried if they will be allowed to come back.
I’ve had a lot of fun leveling some of my little guys and romping around and just having fun. I love my Pandas, Goblins and Gnomes – throw a few of my Worgen in there for grins because they all seem to have different personalities. A lot of them I haven’t introduced to the public yet in any of my blogs because I am still not writing as much as I would like. I like to RP with some of the newer players occasionally and enjoy the chats with the little guys – you never know what the Goblins are going to come up with as a reaction to things.
I had a horrible week with BattleNet and World of Warcraft. I had continually running downloads from the Battlenet that would never complete, lag, disconnects and all manner of problems in game. After three days of working with that, I finally bagged it all and decided that nothing was going to resolve the situation other than a complete download again. Did the repair and all that, however, the downloads would never complete. Frustrated is just a mild word that I can put in print now. Completely downloaded BattleNet and WoW – took 24 hours to download the game because Bnet was still being a bit wonky, however, it’s all working great now “knocks on wood” and I hope it lasts for a while. With Blizzard using Bnet as the key to everything, when that gets messed up, you’re totally SOL in more ways than one. Still running some extremely low FPS in some areas of the game, as are some of the other players, and I refuse to upgrade a new machine at this point, plus, I don’t have the money after all the medical issues lately. If the game is still playable in some fashion, I’m okay with that.
Blizzard did attempt to help me with the issues that I was having and some of the stuff might have worked if it wasn’t all done via ticket which I was no longer patient enough to wait several hours for more instructions. Bnet was so fubar that I couldn’t use the chat sessions because it would cut out every time I finally got connected to someone. What a wonderful experience for Blizzard and myself on that one.
Oh well, time to head back into the game for a while and stop whining about all the tech issues I’ve had. I just hope that it keeps on working for a few days so I can play and try to bury some of animosity towards it.