Life Is Just Not Fair…


July 1st

Dear Journal,

I have spent most of my life chasing after a man that lead me on and really didn’t care about me at all and it’s finally hit me that I have wasted the best years of my life chasing a dream that wasn’t shared with the other party.  I know that I have alienated friends and family over the years with my pursuit and obsession with this one man and it has finally crossed my mind that I am really wasting my time and making a fool of myself. I have literally thrown away all that is good in my life with chasing this dream of mine and I have nothing to show for it – no friends, no lovers and no fulfilled dream of marriage.

Yeah, I’m sitting here in Halfhill trying to drink myself into oblivion because I am sorry for myself and angry with myself for being such a fool for all of these years.   Yes, I came to Pandaria to get my man back from that harlot and I’m finding it more difficult to convince myself that it is even a possibility.   I have been spending all of my off-time in Halfhill in hopes that Dawnglory will show back up and I can get him to talk to me or maybe a bit more than just talk.

Yesterday I was in the market and I saw his woman doing some shopping.   At first I didn’t really recognize her because she has gotten rather large – a kid balanced on her hip and another one in her belly.  There is no doubt in my mind whom the children belong too because although I have tried to dig up dirt on her, there wasn’t any to be found that I could positive proof that she is playing around.  How she could let herself get knocked-up and have Dawnglory take off to this new place where they are sending all of the Rangers that worth their salt.   Well, maybe that’s her way of trapping him and keeping him because she knows that he wants a family to call his own – I hope that they are going to be his at least.

I’m sure that I could go there if I wanted too, however, I am not in the mood to do that right now.  I’m just marking my time and hoping that I don’t get orders to go there anytime soon.  I came to Pandaria to try to trap the man that I love and he slipped out of my reach within just a few weeks of my arrival.  Now, I’m obligated to fulfill my time with the Rangers here – that means no social life for me in Silvermoon and no real attachment to anyone here.

I know that I haven’t heard anything from my brother directly in months since he went to Draenor, however, I keep getting messages from that Zippie in Orgrimmar from time to time.  She is still expecting me to make arrangements to get to Orgrimmar and pick up contracts and possibly fill them – she doesn’t seem to realize whom she is dealing with.  After all, my brother is the owner the company and I should be respected for that and not be treated like just some other plebian worker.    I am a woman of good family and means – that means she should show respect to her betters.  Goblins only think of one thing and that is money – which is why she wants me to do these things here in Pandaria – the money is good though, I suppose I should relent and do some of them.

I’m still sitting here and drinking, thinking about all of the things that might have been or should have been and I can’t see why things didn’t work out the way that I had planned.  I should be the one walking around with that kid on my hip and one in my belly, not that upstart.  I mean, Dawnglory and I had a thing going that might have worked out if she hadn’t seduced him before I had a chance to do so.  Yes, she’s pretty, she’s educated and I’ve heard tell that she is from a good family, however, it’s not one that I have ever been in direct contact with and I can’t say that I had heard of them until this woman took my man away.  Who knows, it could just be one of those paid for family lineage things that some of the new money will try to pull off in Silvermoon.

Well, I’m going to stop trying to write because I am starting to feel like it’s futile and I’m getting sick on my stomach because the page seems to be moving all of the time.  I should head back to my farm – yeah, I got one not far from Dawnglory’s place and get some rest.  I’ll be busy for the next week with my duties with the Rangers, hunting down more deserters and trying to make some Night Elves unhappy again.

Faendra Morningstar

 

In The Beginnin…


*Introducing a new character – Jaxom Perndragon – currently residing on the realm of Sisters of Elune*

 

April 24th

Dear Journal,

I have never kept anything as a journal, however, I know that I have an annoying habit that I feel like this will help out and something that a friend of mine recommended.  I talk to myself a lot because I spend a lot of time alone when I am out in the field and I think that I am losing some of my social skills sometimes because I am often easily distracted when I am in the company of my fellow Rangers.

My name is Jaxom Perndragon and I haven’t got the slightest clue who my parents were nor when I was born, I grew up in the orphanage in Silvermoon City.  The only information that I had available to me was the fact that there was on a yellowed sheet of paper left in the blankets that I was swaddled in that just said that my name was Jaxom.  The surname was surmised from a birthmark that I had on my shoulder that must have looked like a dragon of some sort, which has long since faded away as I’ve gotten older. That’s my early history I guess – not much there when you don’t have a family to speak of  nor anyone else to speak of other than yourself, I suppose.

I never did get adopted because I was always too shy to talk to people if I didn’t know them and I’m sure that the prospective parents weren’t too impressed with me hiding behind the Matron’s skirts when we were introduced.  I guess some of them thought that I was addle pated or at least not real bright because I just didn’t seem to have that spark that they were looking for because I never laughed a lot nor did I smile that much.   I guess one could say that I was probably not the best example of the Sindorei because I definitely wasn’t all that sociable nor was I one of those children that excelled at anything other than my love of nature.  I loved being outdoors and I loved being able to wander around when I had the opportunity, watching the animals, fishing when I could find something to fish with. Yeah, I guess I was kind of born a hermit.

I did well as could be expected in my schoolwork and did rather well with some things, reading and writing seemed to be my forte and I enjoyed drawing or artwork to a certain point although I didn’t exactly excel at it as some of my other friends did.  I did learn the math that we were given and that was a good thing because it has stood me in good stead and I can at least do most of the sums in my head.  Yeah, I can learn how to save money so that I won’t starve to death, however, that isn’t much of a worry as long as I stay with the Rangers.

The Matrons tried to get me interested in some of the finer things such as magic or even the priesthood and that didn’t work out well at all.  I kept falling asleep in my classes that dealt with the priesthood and it wasn’t a good thing to do and we won’t even discuss the magic or the thoughts of becoming a mage – I couldn’t even make it through the first semester and was told by my instructor that he had never had anyone in his classes that he could actually say that didn’t have a hint of magic in my mind.  Well, we can’t all be mages and the idea of healing people as a priest made me want to throw up, forget the religious text.  Guess that knocked out the idea of me become something as great as a Paladin too.

I guess I could have tried a little harder to become a tradesman although that really didn’t appeal to me at all because I didn’t want to be stuck in a building all day.  I did work for a time with a tailor and he finally told me that I wasn’t suited for the work due to my daydreaming.

When the time came for me to pick a profession the matrons all agreed that maybe I should try something that was more structured, maybe a blacksmith or maybe a tailor or maybe just put me in the military and let them sort it out for me.  Well, I guess you could say that it got sorted out for me. The military was the only thing that seemed to be a reasonable fit for me.  I took to the Ranger training like a water fowl takes to the water and I’ve never looked back.  I guess I had some kind of natural ability with bows and I learned how to skin animals and do leatherworking without so much as a hitch in my work.  I can turn out a good pair of boots when the mood strikes me, at least.

I’m spending a lot of time with the other Rangers patrolling around Silvermoon and so far, the Ghostlands are about as spooky as the name would imply.   There are creatures and spirits out there that I had only heard tell of at the orphanage and to actually see them in the flesh has definitely been a jolt to my system.   I wonder what other stories that I was told when I was growing up are going to turn out to be true?  That’s a scary thought in of itself and I am truly not a coward, however, it does make me very nervous most of the time.  I think that the scourge left over from the war many years ago are the worst things so far because from a distance, they can still be mistaken for a man although you can kind of tell they aren’t by the jerky way that they are moving.  The first one that I killed, I was just mortified that I had taken it’s life and after everyone explained to me that they were reanimated corpses and had no souls left.  That made me question the Forsaken walking around the city, aren’t they kind of the same?  I’m sure that the Forsaken still have their souls even if they sometimes eat things that they kill including people…that thought really makes me nervous because I know that we all have to go spend some time in the Undercity and will have to work with them – I hope I don’t become someone’s dinner, I’m sure that Blood Elves don’t taste that good, I hope.

Well, I think that I have written enough here because I am tired of writing and I don’t feel much like talking – there isn’t anyone awake here in the barracks anyway because it’s that late.

 

Jaxom Perndragon.

 

 

 

Is It Too Late To Start Over…


January 7th

Dear Journal,

Well, damn it!!  Here I have spent the last year of my life making my way to Pandaria so that I could get back with Dawnglory and he’s gone again!!  Now, I’m stuck with the Rangers, which I don’t like and now I am stuck with a military obligation that is going to keep me from getting what I have wanted my whole life and it just isn’t fair.  Now, I find out that even my stinking brother is gone from Silvermoon and I was going to ask him to buy me out of the Rangers so that I don’t have to stay here anymore.

Of course, everyone in Halfhill is talking about the people leaving and the ones that are staying behind.  One person I’m seeing staying behind with their brat is Dawnglory’s woman.  She looks like she’s getting fat from sitting on her butt at the farm, wonder who’s doing all of the work now that he’s gone?  I was going to try to make friends with her just so I could find out when Dawnglory’s going to be back, however, I can’t even stomach that thought right now.

All of my plans are down the drain and I’m stuck up here with all of these drunk bears, the Rangers and whatever else the military might decide for me to do.  I tried to talk to my sister at Winter Veil when we were in Shattrath and she told me to shut up and that I only had gotten what I deserved for being deceitful and selfish.  Who the heck does she think she is?    I know her husband or whatever he is overheard it all and he just walked away as if there was nothing going on.   She has no right to say anything about what I’ve done, it’s her fault that our parents are dead because she ran off to be with that guy and they got killed looking for her.  Maybe I should bring that up sometime?

I’ve sent a letter to that Zippie and I hope that she will forward it on to Fnor so that he can make arrangements to buy me out of the service.  I don’t like it and I was only playing along with it because it would get me closer to Dawnglory and if he’s gone from Pandaria, what is to keep me here in the service, not a damned thing. I hope he still isn’t angry with me.

I had planned on talking with my brother at Winter Veil when I was in Nagrand, however, he wasn’t there and it’s doubtful that his wife would want to help me out.  I didn’t even try to ask her about it and with the way that Felaran reacted, I was almost afraid too.  I don’t think that all of the things that I have done should be held against me.  I had my reasons and now that reason has moved again, damn him.

I know I probably can’t start over in Silvermoon again, I’ve burned too many bridges there with some of the so-called friends that I had, however, they have always liked my money, so, maybe there is a chance that I can start over again.  I don’t know, I’m so confused right now. Now, I just have to find some new direction.

Should I put Dawnglory behind me and think about getting involved with someone else?  I can’t, he has been the main focus of my life for so long that I think that I would be lost without that.  Everything that I have ever done or planned for has been with him in mind.  Even if Felaran said that I selfish, she also said that I was obsessed with a man that could care less about what happens to me.   I think that she’s wrong, I think that he does care about me and that my brother won’t allow him to have anything to do with me, It’s his fault, not mine.   He’s only with this woman now because of his daughter and I bet that if I could get him alone, I’d be able to give him a son one day, which is more important to carry on his name.   I still want to make that happen and it will happen if I just keep trying, now, I can’t even try because he’s in that other place.

 

Faendra Morningstar

 

I Don’t Want To Be Here…


*Some language – if you’re easily offended by a few F bombs, please don’t read this.*

 

December 21st

Yo Book!

I know that I am going to be spending quite a bit of time writing in my journal these days since I couldn’t get that extra time that I was trying to get from our government.  I wonder how I can have it put in my record that I fucking didn’t want to go to Draenor, it’s not my problem to deal with, is it?

I know that I spent a small fortune trying to get out of going, not because of my lack of patriotism , it was due to the fact that I didn’t want to leave Romy and I didn’t want to leave my daughter behind in Pandaria.  I wanted to spend at least one more Winter Veil with my family before I had to report back into this madness.   I tried doing everything short of fucking maiming myself to keep from going back into the service.  I tried bribing, I tried threatening and I even tried to ignore the fact that I had letters that said I needed to report for duty and assignment, however, I kept getting letters.

One thing that I did get from all of it is that I do get to go back to Pandaria for a few days after the initial assault  and getting things set up for the duration there.  I know that I have seen Fnor and he isn’t happy with the way that things are going either because it just doesn’t make sense for us to have a full scale army in the place when all we really need is a group of people tracking the idiot Garrosh down and giving him the justice that he deserved.   Oh well, I suppose there are other underlying things that I don’t know about yet that are forcing this assault – it’s not my concern how other things are dealt with because I don’t fucking want to be here.

I know Romy was none too pleased with the idea that I had to leave her and Mirrin in Halfhill and go off on this new assignment and I hope that she doesn’t really blame me for the changes.  I didn’t want to go and I sure as hell didn’t want to go at this time of year either.  This is the time of year when you want to spend it with your damned family, not running through the snow in some foreign country doing the things that you were trained to do to protect your own homeland.

I know that Romy and I have spent more time making love to each other as if there may not be another tomorrow, there may not be – there are no guarantees in war.  I just know that I didn’t want to leave my woman behind and I didn’t want to leave my daughter behind to fend for themselves.  I know that Romy will keep things safe for the two of them, however, I have the constant fear that she will get called up and what will happen with Mirrin then?  I have more concerns about my family than I do about my military obligations at this point.   Part of me hopes that we’ve made another baby because that would keep Romy out of the fighting for a while and it would give Mirrin a sibling to grow up with – something that I don’t regret having when Felessa and I were small either – there was still a feeling of family there.

I wish that we had gotten married before I left, that is weighing heavily on my mind and my heart.  I wanted to get married, however, the amount of time that I was given to get prepared to leave and get my ass here just didn’t give enough time for us to do that.  Maybe Romy can pull something together before I get back to where we can get married before I have to come back here.

It’s bloody cold, this garrison that I am supposedly in charge of is a real dump as far as I am concerned.  As far as encampments go, it was a poor choice of location.  Supplies are hard to come by and I am surrounded constantly by fucking Orcs. It’s not their fault, however, it sure doesn’t make me enjoy things more by being outnumbered by the people that I know really have no respect for the Sindorei.  Yes, we’re part of the Horde and yes, we will do our duty, however, I just get the feeling that the Orcs just tolerate us to have us take the brunt of the fighting.  Our people are just now starting to recover our population from the wars previously and to have to sacrifice more of my people now is just asinine.

When I am not on duty, I try to get away from the garrison as much as possible.  I have no privacy there to start with and the smell of the barracks is enough to make you want to gag.  At least we had tents that were aired frequently and we had our own bunks – not these shared hammocks that I know the previous occupants were not real keen on cleanliness.   I am supposed to be a person of some rank here, however, that doesn’t seem to mean anything if I am treated like just another peon.  Rank be damned, it’s a fucking joke.

I give out orders, send out patrols and hope to hell they aren’t stupid and make their way back to the garrison in one piece.   No, I would much rather be out there on patrols so that I can see what is going on in this damned place and possibly get an idea of why we are all here  – I just have to wonder what my superiors are thinking all of the time.   There is nothing clearly defined as far as I can tell right now and it is very confusing not having a true sense of direction.  I know that this is the first time that I have felt like I was at a total loss as to what all of this really means to me, to my countrymen and for Azeroth.

Yes, we’re here to help pull this place back into order and to curb the influence of the Iron Horde, however, when it is all said and done – what difference will it really make?

Oh well, I’m just fucking ranting here and I can feel myself getting angrier and angrier at the circumstances.  I think that it’s time that Dawn and I took off and did some hunting and fishing for a few hours so that I can get my fucking emotions in check.

Fnar Dawnglory

In Draenor…


Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

December 16th

Dear Journal,

Yes, I am still stuck in this place called Draenor and on the frozen tundra in charge of a Garrison that I had no desire to take over nor feel the need to grow attached too.  So far it appears as though I am one of the few Rangers here and that is rather disappointing because with what is going on in this land would be ideal for Rangers because of the way that we have been trained to fight all of these years.  I have put in request after request to have more Rangers put under my command, however, that seems to be falling on deaf ears.

I spend more time out in the field actually working, which is the one thing that I can say that I enjoy about this new command.  The micromanaging of the day to day functions should be passed off to an adjutant  and not placed solely upon my shoulders because there are other things that need my attention.  Of course, it is required that I visit the mines, stables, barns, forge and herb gardens daily to make my presence known because that is what I have been ordered to do, not that it is actually needed because my people do seem to know what they are doing.  I guess what the higher ups are thinking is that my presence is supposed to keep my soldiers’ morale up or something of that nature.  I suppose it does because I feel like we are definitely overstepping our resources at this point.

Here it is Winter Veil again and it appears doubtful that we will have the family gathering as we had planned in Nagrand this year – our Nagrand, not this Nagrand in this place.  I know that I have always looked forward to gathering friends and family in one area for the holidays so that we can at least act like a family.  I know that from the message that I finally got from Kal is that he and Kae will be here in Draenor in the next few weeks and they are making all of the preparations for that.   I just wish that we could stop everything for a little while, just to rest, relax and enjoy our families because you have no idea if that will be the same next year.

I think that I am getting too old for this stuff.  I know that I feel both mentally and physically weary to the point that all I want to do when I stop for the day is to fall into bed and sleep.  I long for those long luxurious days when I could stay in bed if I wanted too, read a book, have breakfast in bed with my wife – yes, just having my wife in my bed would e a plus here in Draenor.  I’m just not feeling the compelling urge to get up and head out to fight for something that should have never been in the first place.  I know we’re protecting Azeroth by being here and my big question is, who is taking care of Azeroth while we’re here in this land, this place and this time?

I know that it probably sounds rather odd to say, however, I am actually getting homesick for the things that I used to absolutely hate.  I miss Silvermoon and I miss the people that I have working for me back home.  I do miss Agatha, I miss those conversations that we used to have when she knew that I was having a particularly rough time dealing with a few things.  She was my rock in a lot of ways with just her daily presence.  Now, there is no Agatha here in Draenor and I’m not sure that she has returned to her post in Silvermoon yet after taking her leave.

I definitely miss the chattering of Zippie and the way that she always seemed to see the brighter side of things more often than not.  She does work magic with our accounts and I will definitely have to take some time to spend with her when I can get a leave from this place.

I know that I am going to put in for a leave here soon because I do need a break from this constant upheaval  that seems to be the norm here.  I know that I have been in the military for most of my life, however, I don’t think that I have ever been in this kind of situation before where none of us really know or really understands exactly what we’re doing here.  Yes, we stopped the Iron Orcs from invading Azeroth and now we’re doing a holding action as well as trying to level out the playing field a bit more with the Draeni – some are allies and some are not, it’s always a guessing game when you approach an encampment that you’ve not visited before.  Yes, Draenor is a savage land and the people in it are just as savage sometimes.  It’s just another war that I have no idea why we are truly fighting it – are we here again to take the resources that these people have for the Horde’s selfish gains or are we truly trying to help these people as we try to protect what we hold dear in this life?

I know that I have actually patrolled as far as Nagrand and it is just as beautiful to me now as it was in my own home world.  The similarities are very noticeable to me and I have no trouble navigating through the area although I will admit that it feels very déjà vu  at times.  I found where Amyn and I have our house in Outland and here it is a fortress near the lake that keeps everything away.  I know that our house is right next to the lake and if it were here, we’d be having a rough time with the enemies at the fortress – too close for comfort I’d say.   I know that I will always have a special place in my heart for Nagrand because I have known some of my happiest times there in my world – I don’t know about this particular Nagrand yet – I am still scouting the area to see what else is out there that I haven’t seen before.

Pan and I are definitely enjoying the time that we have to go hunting and fishing when we have the chance.  The game is very plentiful and the fishing is just interesting.  Some of these fish I have never seen before – some look similar to what we had back on Azeroth and some are  just too strange.  They taste good when cooked properly though.  Pan is constantly by my side these days because I think that he feels uneasy with this assignment, as do I, however, I can’t remember him being as clingy as he is here since we were in Northrend before I left the service.

One of the things that I can look forward too is having Dawnglory show up here soon.  I know that I have put in the request that he be assigned to me and I will just have to wait it out to see if it happens.  If it doesn’t happen, then, I will definitely throw my political weight around a bit to make it so.  I know that I have all of these people surrounding me all of the time and I have to admit that I have never felt so isolated and lonely in my life.

Fnor Morningstar

 

Things Left Unsaid…


Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

 

July 28th

Dear Journal,

I  am in Pandaria.  Yes, I did take the coward’s way out of what happened in Silvermoon with Agatha for the simple reason, it was something that was bound to happen at some point and I guess after my visit to Dalaran, I was more than a bit upset with my emotions being completely raw and what was intended as comforting from her turned into passion rather rapidly.  It isn’t as if this sort of thing hasn’t happened before, which it has, however, I have made it a point to remain faithful to my wedding vows with Amyn – which I have failed at completely as of this writing.

I think that I could half way forgive myself for the night of passion, however, I can’t forgive myself for the following morning which lead to another romp under the sheets. I knew then and I know now that it was wrong to even get started in that direction.

I did talk with Agatha about what happened and I think that she is somewhat embarrassed by it all and yet, she’s very understanding.  She asked me if I wanted her to leave my employment to make sure that it never happened again and I told her to stay, in fact, I begged her to stay.  People don’t realize that Agatha has been with me through a lot of things in the past and is the only Sindorei woman that has been with me almost as long as Amyn has been.  Yes, there are some feelings there, a bond that is deeper than just a friendship, yet, I can’t exactly call it love, it’s a different feeling.  It’s like a partnership much deeper than the one that I have developed with Dawnglory over the years.

I’m anxiously waiting for Amyn to arrive in Halfhill now and anxious to spend some much needed time with her.  I fully intend on telling her about my trip to Dalaran, however, I am not planning on telling her about what happened between Agatha and myself.  Amyn has gone through a lot over the years in our relationship and I can’t expect her to go through anymore of my fiascos.  Sure, she knew when I had been with these other women, it might be just something that is akin to woman’s intuition or something like that – she always seems to know.  If she asks me if I have been with another woman, I will try to just cover things up as best I can.

One of the things that I have learned over the years is that once a  Sentinel, always a Sentinel.  I don’t care if you take a Sentinel and put them in the most domestic of situations, that Sentinel is still there, waiting to come out.   I realize fully when Amyn’s Sentinel is in charge of things – like the time she actually shot me in Feralas during a heated argument and I walked away from her in a huff.  That’s not the first time that she has caused me physical injury and I doubt it will be the last.  I think that is part of her appeal to me and always will be, it gives our relationship a hint of danger on an intimate level that I have never found with anyone else.   Dawnglory tells me that I like playing with “fire” and I told him that I probably do, however, it is indeed a lovely fire that I am playing with – my wife is truly my love, my life and my world.  I honestly don’t know what I would do without her either.  That’s why I am not going to tell her about what happened.

I know I always feel better when I can escape the confines of Silvermoon.  It’s like being able to take a breath of fresh air and being to move freely without any concerns about what others will think about you up here.  It’s the frontier to a new land that we are all still exploring at different levels.

I am also hoping that I will run into my sister while I am up here too.  She is still with the Rangers and from what I hear, she is trying to conform to the ways of the group although it is being forced upon her.  I want to talk to her about a plethora of things, things that she has done and what she can expect from me in the future.  No, no matter what she has done and what she might do in the future, she is still my sister even if she isn’t of my blood.  I’m the adopted one, that’s what she points out when she gets insanely angry with me, however, she seems to forget that I was chosen, not an accident of birth.  True, there is a difference, however, I think that my adoptive parents loved me as much as they did either of their daughters that came after I was in the family.  We were, in fact, a family – the division came when my parents died and I had to take on the responsibility of raising Faendra on my own as well as trying to find my sister that had been lost in the invasion.  At least Felaran has turned out decently, even if she is Death Knight.

The farm looks like it is doing well and from what I have seen of the accounts for the place, it’s definitely showing a profit.  I certainly do wish that I could spend more time in Pandaria than I have in the past few months because this is where I feel like a normal person – this is where I can feel like I am a part of things and not closeted away behind the social norms in Silvermoon.  I know that I have done both before – being a Ranger and being a businessman, however, I think that the entire Horde seems to be in flux these days.

There is a definite undercurrent brewing within the political factions of the Horde.  I think that we are all in agreement that Garrosh is an incompetent Warchief and should be removed from power.  I’m not fool and do realize that the rebellion is going in the favor of the rebels and I expect to hear that Garrosh has been overthrown any day now. Yes, my allegiance has been sworn to the Regent and I have removed myself from the political gristmill of Orgrimmar as well as resigning from the Ambassadors Council there.

I know that I have been invited back to participate in that council again and I haven’t given an answer as of yet because I am uncertain of the actual details of my involvement.  I know that I didn’t leave things very pleasantly when I resigned and went on my way.  I just wonder what it is that they want from me this time.  I can work as some kind of mediator with things, however, I am not going to get as deeply involved with the inner workings of the Horde as I was when I was there the last time – the cost was too dear for me to even contemplate doing that again.

I did lose my hold on the company in Orgrimmar when Garrosh declared his martial law there and I did lose a lot of material goods at the same time that I was unable to get shipped out beforehand.  I know that I will never have any true holdings in Orgrimmar again due to the fact that I feel that the political parties in that one centralized city cannot be trusted on any level.  Call me a racist if you wish, however, I feel more secure in dealing with the political parties amongst my own people – not something that is Orc dictated. When the Troll rebellion does eventually take over the city, I wonder what kind of expectations will be there for the people in the city.  Will they be mistreated the way that they have been with the Orcs running roughshod over them?  What will truly be the difference in the way that things are run, what new spin will the Horde be lead with?  So many questions and no answers on the horizon until it is finally disclosed.

I think that one of the things that Amyn and I will be doing once she gets here is to go stay at one of the little hideaways that have enjoyed in the Jade Forest.  It is very isolated and it is also far enough away from Halfhill that it would take someone some time to find it, if they even could.   I know that Dawnglory is here in the village now and I’ve already spoken with him a bit and we plan on doing some hunting and fishing together while I am here this time.  He has turned into quite the family man and I will have to admit that I am very envious of him at times – he’s happy in a way that I could never enjoy when my children were small.

Fnor Morningstar

Why Do I Have To Change?


June 18th

Dear Journal,

I am so angry that I could cry and I don’t that anyone would care.  I just got back from getting a dressing down by that peasant of a Commander in Krasarang that told me that I needed to shape up and get with the program with the rest of the Rangers or I could leave.  And…and, the only reason that I haven’t been kicked out yet is because of the fact that I am related to Commander Morningstar and they expected much more from me due to that relationship. I’m not my adopted brother, whatever he is known for is not of my doing and I surely would not be able to come up with his career as a Ranger, get real people!!

So, now I have two weeks to show them that I am truly Ranger material or I will get shipped back to Silvermoon in disgrace.  Yes, I said Silvermoon.  It seems that my brother has been writing to some of his friends here in Krasarang and if I happen to wash out, I will be returned to his “custody” – what the heck does that mean, I’m a woman fully grown and I sure don’t need to be escorted back to Silvermoon in shame and to be married off to some fop there. With the current situation being what it is with my brother and I, I don’t think that it would be a good idea.

I thought about packing up my stuff and heading out on my own, however, I found out what the penalties are for desertion and I don’t think that is something that I want to endure.  Prison for years, possible hard labor and then, the final one was a real curtailment – “in times of war, a deserter will be tried and sentenced to death” – well, I think we’re still at war, so, that’s not an option.

I’ve gotten myself into a fine mess and I have no one to fall back on for support.  I can’t ask my brother to help because of the way that I left and I owe him quite a bit of money, not to mention, I am not going to apologize for running away and trying to find the man that I love in this Light Forsaken place either.

I was told that I needed to adjust my attitude towards my comrades and start doing my share of the menial chores and if that means cleaning the latrines, so be it, do it and don’t make a fuss about it because it is beneath me – which it is.  I am supposed to be cooperative with my commanders and I am supposed to make friends with the other Rangers in order to build better team cohesion.  Well, okay, I can fake being friends, that’s not the problem, however, this cooperation thing is going to take some work and I don’t see why I have to do it.  It’s like they are trying to make an example of me and I think that is unfair.

Well, I do know that I am tired of not getting any time off so that I can go to the Valley of Four Winds and try to find Dawnglory.  If I do what I am supposed to do and cooperate with everyone and everything, I should get some time off next week – I plan on getting two days off so I can get to the Valley and look around.  I have visited the place, that Halfhill place once since my arrival but it was such a quick trip, I couldn’t find out anything at all and I was with a group of other Rangers picking up supplies.  I thought I saw that woman of Dawnglory’s, however, I’m not sure but she had a brat in her arms that I might assume is theirs. I’ve never met her before, I can only go by the descriptions of the red hair, wide hips and the fact that she used to be a Ranger before she bought her way out with Dawnglory and she works for my brother now too.

I don’t think that I need to really “change” the way that I think or how I feel about things, I just have to learn how to mask my feelings a bit more.  Now, I have to suck up to these other girls and make them think that I was just in a bad mood all of this time and that I am really friendly.  Oh, I don’t know how well that is going to work out either because I have been pretty nasty to a couple of the more popular ones that live in my tent. I know that I am on a totally different social plane than most of these people and I resent having to step down to their level, which is something I would never do in Silvermoon.  I know I have the breeding and I did have the wealth to back me up when I was living on Fnor’s money, now, I have to make do with what I was able to scrounge and what I make as a Ranger, which is next to nothing.

I think that I saw one of the Forsaken that works for my brother snooping around the camp today and I did all that I could to avoid her.  Also, I have seen Felaran’s boyfriend here too.  What is this place, the central gathering spot for people that want to check out other people?  If Ty finds out that I am here, I’m sure that he will tell Felaran and then the trouble will really start because I know her temper and she won’t be pleased that I have lied and cheated my way to Pandaria to begin with.

Faendra Morningstar