OOC – Reading is good


September 15th

I have wanting a Kindle for a long time and finally got one – hehe, that should be I have a new addiction and I’m enjoying it very much.  It was definitely fun to exercise my mind a bit and get totally immersed in the stories that I read.

Game of Thrones was my biggie and I’m waiting for the new book to be released as well as the final season on HBO.  There are some variables in the series on HBO and the books themselves but I took it all in stride and still stayed buried in the five books for a good read.

Before The Storm – excellent read for me and a light one.  Anything dealing with World of Warcraft is my jam anyway.  Got totally immersed in the story and it does help to know what lead up to the Battle of Azeroth.  My opinion of the game currently isn’t real good but I’ll hang in there to see if it gets better, I hope.

Wolfheart – oh my, just let me curl up and enjoy the moments with Varian again.  He was my hero since the beginning and when he died on the Broken Shore, it definitely took me a long while to get over that.  It’s funny how we always get so involved with some of these pixels but it is a good thing.

I have always been a real fan of World of Warcraft and I will have to say that I have enjoyed all of the expansions even when they were stinkers, however, I’m a bit disappointed with the latest one and I hope it gets better.  I know it’s only been out a month and there have been more than a few bugs and more than a few glitches – what I am waiting for is some “meat” to the story so I can lose my way through the story at least.

Well, back to finish some of my unfinished stories for my poor little characters and some more immersion, if it’s possible, in the game so that I can get the feelings back.  Funny how playing a character in the game can get you involved in their emotions and minds easily.

See you in Azeroth.

When Worlds Collide


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August 29th

Dear Journal,

My heart is heavy and my soul has been sorely damaged with all of the things that have happened in the last few weeks.  So many things and so many people have been lost – for what reason?  Elune has taught me that there are few things that I can do to learn that lesson, however, how many times does Azeroth have to deal with this type of conflict – for what reason?

We have fought demons and we’ve fought the scourge and we’ve fought each other for all time, or so it appears to me.  I met my beloved Sindorei in the middle of a conflict with the Horde and he saved my life.  Oh yes, I hated him at first and once I knew him, I knew that he was no different that I am on the inside.   We were supposed to be enemies and we were supposed to kill one another according to the Leaders and Warchief of the time, however, Elune had other plans for us because we fell in love.

The place that my people called home is no more, burned with the people that were still there.  Civilians and soldiers a like – babes in arms,  ancients living in their winter of their of lives.  Anyone and anything that was not fast enough to make it out of the portals and to safety were lost.   It didn’t matter that some of those people had never taken up arms in their lives and had only existed to live their lives in peace and harmony in the World Tree.  Now, they are gone, burned to ash.

I couldn’t believe what was happening because it all felt like a horrific nightmare that I only wanted to awake from.  No matter how hard I tried to wake up – it was no dream and those visions are burnt forever into my mind.

I know this war is about the azurite and the possibility of what it might do and to save our world, however, no one would have thought that the Banshee Queen would have thought immediately to turn it into a thing of mass destruction.   We have lost cities before in the past – Theramore does come to mind and the loss of life there was unbelievable.   No one was prepared, just as we weren’t prepared for the Cataclysm and losses for my people with Deathwing.  So many lives lost just so that we could start it all over again.  Where are the Gods that we have worshipped and bowed to for all of these centuries – can they not control their children any better than we can control ours?

I know that my beloved was there on Dark Shore and I know that he killed just as I did, however, I know that his heart had to be breaking as sorely as mine was.  Some of these people were friends and, yes, even family.  We were ordered as soldiers to do these things and we did them.  That doesn’t mean that we felt it was right – there was no honor in what either faction did and I know that it is only the beginning.

My family is safe because a certain Sindorei told me to get them to safety weeks before anything happened.  Bless Elune that he was willing to risk his life to let me know what he had heard in the war councils – he feels as I do, family comes first.

Amynlarae Shadowmoon

Will This Ever End


*Warning!! There could be some salty language in this post, if you’re easily offended, please do not read.*

 

August 25th

Yo Book!!

What in the Hells is going on!  What did we just do and why we did it?  I’m not getting anywhere with my questions; however, it is a thing that I am often doing these days. I’m questioning everything that I am doing and why I’m doing it.  Well, fuck, the first thing that comes to mind is that I am following orders and secondly – no one seems to understand the full ramifications of the shit that we are doing. Even Fnor is rattled and shaken with these new events.  It takes a fucking lot of stuff to rattle that man and I know because he’s been my best friend since I joined the rangers.

All I know is that we were doing the usual cleanup after a long battle with our foes in the Broken Shore and we got orders to report to the Warchief in Orgrimmar.  Okay, not a fucking problem, we’ll drop whatever we’re doing to go see what this crazy bitch has going on now.  To say that I dislike the Warchief is probably considered dangerous, however, I’d rather face that danger than deal with another pyscho in charge of the Horde.  Even the news from Silver Moon and our Regent Lord is a bit disconcerting at a time like this – we are ordered to Orgrimmar and we are going to do whatever the Banshee Queen has to say.  I’ll have to give it some thought or just pull one of my better disappearing acts.

For Light’s Sake!!  I just got my family back together and we’ve gone to Pandaria to live where the children can at least stay safe.  Romy and the children are still recovering from their ordeal as well as getting acclimated back to where they should be – they need no further trauma in their lives for now.

I know that I was just getting used to being with the kids and Romy again.  Just having them with me made my world complete and now, well, duty calls and there is no way that I can get out of it for fear that Romy could be called back to active duty as well.   I’m not one to leave the kids with other people to raise and I know how Romy feels about that sort of thing as well.

I’m still shaken by all the things that happened at the Dark Shore and the finality of the Horde burning the World Tree.  The loss of life for Night Elves was absolutely sickening and I wept as I stood there watching the tree burning.  War is war; however, this wasn’t something that any of us had ever thought would happen.  I know that Fnor was just devastated because of his wife’s family and his own relationship with many of the Elves over time.  Watching all of this almost felt like getting physically struck.

I’m ashamed to say that I followed my orders and did what I was told but that doesn’t mean that I agreed with it. A lot of us didn’t agree with any of it – why start a war with the Alliance at this point and time?  Why kill so many people for a whim of someone that isn’t exactly rational?

Honor and Loyalty – well, what the fuck does that really mean.  Honor is something for you as an individual, however, the Loyalty to a faction is a duty.  When that duty crosses the line, you must make some very hard choices and I have made mine – I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and know that I am doing the right thing and not feel the shame that I am feeling now.

I know that I am sitting here and feeling like something soiled and thrown away.  This is not a great feeling at all – the shame is so intense that it almost makes me want to puke my guts out.   I have written to Romy and told her to not come anywhere near Kalimdor at this time and to avoid the Eastern Kingdoms because there is nothing left for her there any longer.

My mind is just rambling, and thoughts are as fleeting as the brandy that I have been drinking.

Fnar Dawnglory

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There Is No Honor In This


 

August 20th

Dear Journal,

I know it has been some time since I have written, however, it has been rather busy with things trying to wrap up with the demon incursion on the Broken Isles.  One would have thought that we would have a moment’s respite from conflict not considering that we have a Warchief that is an undead Banshee Queen in every sense of the word.

I have always followed the Horde and the war chiefs we’ve had, however, with the caveat that I was following the direction of the Regent Lord in Silvermoon.  At least that’s what I thought I was doing and felt that it was something that had to be done.  I’ve lived through Thrall, Garrosh, Vol’jin and now, Sylvanus – the latter is a different matter and I’ve never trusted her.  I know that we were all shocked when Vol’jin gave her the position and said it was from the LOA – well, was it?  I’m not real sure. This whole situation has been like a boiling cauldron and I think it has finally reached a point where it is going to be hard to choose between loyalty and honor.

In the last few weeks I have seen and done things that would have never even entered my imagination or my worst nightmare.  The whole thing has made me sickened to my very soul and the shame that I will carry for the rest of my life.  How am I going to face my wife and my sons with the things that we have done?  I haven’t seen my beloved wife since the attack on Teldrassil – I know her group of Sentinels were there, however, I know she was not amongst those that were lost because I have heard from her through our company channels.

I know that I am not the only one that was physically ill with the killing that went on at Dark Shore and it is the only time in my adult life that I wanted to just walk away from everything.  I wanted desperately to walk away from the Horde, find my beloved Amyn and run to Outland to our home in Nagrand – I may still do that if I can face her again.  I just want to make sure that my boys are okay too – I know that Vash is still in Stormwind and that Kal was with Kae and her group of Sentinels but I’m not real sure where they were during all this slaughter. I just hope that they are okay and neither of them was wounded or even killed.

I wasn’t the only one standing there sickened with the bloodshed and the horror, Dawnglory was there with me and I’m not ashamed to admit that we both had tears streaming down our faces when the order was given to set the World Tree on fire.  I know several of us were screaming for them not to do it and I assume that we are all going to hear from our Leaders at some point about our misconduct.

Now, I know that the Horde may have bitten off more than they can chew with the leadership being what it is, however, if the Regent Lord has approved of this action and will condone these heinous acts, I will follow him and trust that there is a reason for all of it that I am not privy too.

I know from my past experiences that the Alliance will retaliate, and I know that the Warchief will be there primary target.  So, its WAR again whether our people want it or not.  So, we will not have the time of peace that most of us were looking for – I can’t truly remember a time when there wasn’t a war somewhere that we were involved in.

My heart is just breaking with the pain and suffering that I have witnessed and trying to put my mind at peace is going to be a chore.  I still need to find my wife and let her know that I love her and apologize to her for my actions and the actions of others.  I hope she will forgive me and still love me.

I know that we will have to be extremely careful with our relationship and our businesses with the faction war starting up again.  We are heading into some dangerous times.

 

Fnor Morningstar

 

 

 

 

Life Goes On


July 13th

Dear Journal,

It has been a while since I’ve had a respite from dealing with these demons and getting completely worn out with the constant fighting, however, I do think or feel that things are winding down.  The battles aren’t as intense as they once were, and the evil things are not mounting the huge offenses that they once did.  Do they know that we will keep fighting for as long as it takes to rid ourselves of their presence?  Naturally, with all the battles we’ve had on the Broken Isles and victories we’ve had have been costly to both factions, however, there was a cohesiveness to it all, I hope it lasts.

Thinking back on my life a little bit and I think that the only time that I have known some peace and true happiness was when we were finishing up our fights with Arthas.  That’s been a long time ago and there were happy times to be had in Dalaran before we were driven out.  All the Blood Elves were blamed for the bombing of Theramore and Lady Jania ran amuck with her power in Dalaran.  I still yearn for those days in my heart and the home that I had worked so hard to build there.  It was a wonderful existence while we were there although it doesn’t compare to the life that Amyn and I had in Shattrath where the boys were born.

Maybe after we’re done here, there will be peace for a time or even a brief respite.  I know that when Amyn and I are released from our service here in the Broken Shore – we are planning to take a long break from the stress of it in our home in Nagrand located in Outland.  We’ve built a wonderful mansion there with enough room for the whole family and our friends that care to join us.  It will be good to see our children there for a while.  With both boys taking the appearance of their Mother, it has been hard for us to get together and spend the time together that I would like.  I think that is one of the reasons whey I cherish the Old Dalaran days so much because it has truly been the only time that I could acknowledge my mate and our off-spring without any fear. Ah well, those days are gone, and I suppose that I should move forward.

The last trip that I made to Orgrimmar has me a bit worried because there were higher level gossip going on within the faction – the Warchief was under some scrutiny for her tendency to raise the dead too quickly after a battle regardless of the faction.  The all seem to follow her after they have been risen and I will have to admit that it sends a chill down my spin because it reminds me so much of the Scourge and Arthas.  I wonder if other people have noticed the similarity or are there so few of us left that remember those days?  I’m concerned because I don’t want to go through that again and see some of friends be turned into foes after their demise.

Our businesses are booming, and we are still able to meet the contracts that we pick up and I will have to admit that I am happy with that because if we can keep our coffers full, we will be able to endure just about anything that may happen here on Azeroth.  I’m still funneling some funds to Draenor to help support the work being there – there are still need for goods that can be obtained easily there.  No, we’re not pillaging the resources like we might have in the past, but we are able to keep up the supply for the demand of goods easily.

Damn, the horns are sounding again which means that we have another incursion of demons somewhere close to the camp – that means I need to stop writing and get on with my duty and plunge back into the smell of Fel.

Fnor Morningstar

 

Trying to Stay Focused On Our Future


May 1st

 

Dear Journal,

I know that I have been too busy getting things in order with my family to even be able to sit down and write anything in my journal.  Seems like it has been forever, and I know that it hasn’t.  Fnor and I have been busy in the battles with the demons to have much time to sit down and relax.  I’ll admit that I do run way to Stormwind and sometimes to Draenor, just to escape everything for a while. Just being able to sit down and not smell Fel in the air or even that constant looking around to make sure that you’re in a safe place can sometimes drain the soul out of you.

I had to come back to Stormwind to take care of some business and to check on my boys that are in the city as well as going to check on my parents.  They are getting up in years and there are times that I do worry about them   I know that I am one of the lucky few people in Darnassus that had been raised by my parents instead of being sent off to be raised with the rest of the children.  Yes, it’s odd how our people send their most precious things in the world off to be raised by strangers and not have that family bonding that other races seem to have – it builds a foundation for the families to grow on.  It could possibly be a hold over from the days when the High Elves felt that the parents were not paying proper attention to their duties and the children were a distraction and needed to be trained by others.  I’m never sure why that all came about.  However, back to what I was prattling about.

My parents were doing fine in their little home near Darnassus and seemed to be quite happy there, however, I tried my best to have them make another change in their lives – move to Nagrand, to the house that Fnor and I have there, or we could even build them their own little house.   They have lived with us in Dalaran in Northrend and they were happy there, however, they were extremely frightened when we were driven out – or I should say, when Fnor was driven out because of his heritage.  I think the whole thing was stupid – I can understand that Jaina was upset with the way that things had happened in Theramore and I will admit that we all were – luckily, Varian was still alive back then and could put some kinds of constraints on her hysterical reactions to things.

I think my Father was on the verge of refusing my suggestion when my Mother stopped him and told him that there must be a reason that I would want them to make a change like this and gave me that look that I always dread.  One thing about being raised by your parents is the fact that they really get to know you as an individual, which, makes it difficult for you to pull any shenanigans with them.  She knew I was trying to hide something from her and I had to admit that there were reasons that I wanted them to move.

With all the contacts that Fnor and I have on both factions, we seem to get information far ahead of the counselors and leaders of our separate factions.  We have a lot of people working for us in our businesses and it seems like they can get into places where our military people seem to overlook.  Let’s be real about this, common people talk more amongst themselves and aren’t busy plotting their political intrigues as the higher ups seem to find the time to do.  There appears to be a lot of political unrest in both factions and there have been hints to the common folk that they should be prepared to guard their homes and families even more in the future.  No reasons were given out as to why and it makes me wonder if we’re not rolling back the clock of history to the days when we dare not be affiliated with friends of a different faction.

Of course, my Mother’s opinion of the Dark Lady is pretty much the same as most people.  She was a poor choice for the Horde to take on that evil woman for their Warchief. Even my beloved is not fond of the situation, but one must be careful about voicing your opinions too loudly.

With the rumors flying around like a crazed dervish, I did tell my parents some of the rumors and they were greatly saddened by it, however, they did resolve to make the move to Nagrand within the next couple of weeks to be safe.  I’m almost willing to bet that we are going to end up with a small village of relatives living on the property – we will make room for anyone that wishes to join the family.

Now, I need to go talk to my loving husband and let him know that there is going to be an influx of elves coming to Nagrand to live for a while – naturally, we are going to decide for most of them that do not know that my mate is a Blood Elf to live away from the main property.  I don’t want to bring the old hatreds to where we live.

Amynlarae Shadowmoon

 

 

April 18th – Some things never change…


April 18th

Dear Journal,

I think the whole world has gone crazy and I’m sitting here watching it happen without any control over it.  Everything that I have planned for in my life has gone amiss and it’s as if the Light has other plans for me.  It would be lovely if I knew what that was.

I have waited months and years for my plans with Fnar Dawnglory to bear fruit and it does appear as though it might have happened for me until that cow he’s involved with was rescued or found or whatever she was – with a new baby to boot.  Wonder if this one is his? I know the little girl is his because she looks like her Daddy, however, I haven’t seen this new one. And it’s a boy.  I know that she keeps pushing out these children like the dog that she is, however, I know that my love isn’t all that fond of children as he has told me so many times.  The statement could have been directed at me too because I was fairly young back then and already very much in love with my golden-haired man.  Who cares, I know that he will soon tire of this domestic bliss that that Romy seems to be forcing on him.

I know that I am just disgusted, and I am not giving up on my plans just yet.   I know that I was hoping that that one night of lying with my love would have gotten me with child, however, I wasn’t that lucky.  Now that he is back with that woman, I will have to figure out something else.  I doubt that I will be able to find him in a drunken stupor again and be able to get into his bed.

Well, not enough time has passed for me to not to try something else.  Maybe I can have a liaison with another man of similar appearance and get myself with child.  I could always pass the child off as Fnar’s child and see how that will work.  If I had his baby, I’d be on the same level with that cow of his – not much better than she is for that matter.  That’s how she’s got him trapped now, by pushing out those kids and I know how much he wants a family of his own because of his being raised in an orphanage with his sister, Felessa.

I did meet one young fellow that looks very much like Dawnglory, however, I think this one is a bit more street-smart and I will have to be extra tricky with him.  Also, I found another fellow that seems older and more experienced than I am, however, the only drawback on that is that he looks very much like my adopted brother.  Well, that might work except for the fact that Fnor and I aren’t blood relations.  Well, I’ll have to think on this a bit more.

 

Faendra Morningstar