Reunited With The One You Love…


Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author


June 20th

Dear Journal,

I’m sitting here this morning with a nice hot cup of coffee, a few cigarettes at my disposal and enjoying the afterglow of being reunited with my wife at long last in Nagrand.  Ah yes, we’ve been trying to slip away for the last couple of months, however, my family and the business has been making it rather difficult for us to find the time to do just that.   I know that I keep making myself promises that we won’t keep staying apart this long and that we will be together more often and it seems like life just has a nasty way of putting roadblocks in our paths as well as our responsibilities.

Oh, sure, Amyn is not too happy that I am still smoking, however, I told her that it was either smoking or drinking and the drinking thing made me do stupid stuff, which she laughed at that one and reminded me that there are times that we’ve both had too much to drink together.  At least I am not smoking the cigarettes that used to drive her almost insane and those were the ones that I still occasionally smoke when I’m alone in Silvermoon – the fel-laced ones that just seem to mellow everything out and take the edge off your emotions.  Of course, I know I have to be extremely careful with those because there was a time that I was almost addicted to them, back when I lived alone in Dalaran.

I really am happy that we built the house here at the little lake in Nagrand. It’s secluded enough that it’s not noticed too often by people as they fly through the area on their mounts and it is big enough to where we can accommodate the family without any trouble at all as well as a few guests.  The exterior blends in with the surroundings, however, the interior is definitely all Blood Elf and Night Elf for comfort and the decor blends together quite nicely.  I do miss the great room we had in Dalaran with the fireplace and mantle that were carved so intricately that you could almost forget that you were not sitting in some palace in Silvermoon.  I miss a lot of the things about the house in Dalaran, however, the chances of some government coming in and overthrowing this area are pretty slim, I’d warrant.

I have to laugh because the master suite is very much like the one in Dalaran, the bed is as big with the same kind of black velvet hangings, sheets and bedspread, however, I did notice that my lovely wife has had some of designs sewn into the canopy that are definitely Kaldorei in origin.  I can’t say that I like the idea of Elune watching what goes on in that bed, she might blush or strike us both with a bolt of lightning.

I am happy that Amyn had Vashlan fix the water supplies so that we have the hot water similar to what we had in Dalaran.  Nothing like a long hot soak in the tub that is big enough for two, black marble, silver amenities.  It’s very luxurious, maybe more so than the one in Dalaran.

My study or office is right off the master bedroom just as it was in Dalaran with a balcony that overlooks the lake and the plains  – it really is beautiful to be able to stand there and look up at the floating islands and at night, the stars are even more beautiful than they were in Dalaran. Amyn has her sitting room on the opposite side of the bedroom and I think it looks remarkably like the one she had made in Dalaran with the Kaldorei furnishings and she also has a small balcony that faces the lake too

So, yeah, I think that Amyn and I did a great job with the house and we didn’t care about the costs either because this is going to be a home for the family for years to come.  I hope it is going to be for years to come, I’ve learned that nothing is truly forever, however, I hope that this house will be around for as long as we want it.

Everyone has their own rooms just like they did before with the exception of the youngsters, they are going to be staying in their suite of rooms together.  I honestly thought that Amyn would have wanted them to be separated, however, she insisted that they share the area.  Who am I to judge her decisions when it comes to the two youngest boys.  Kal has his own room here and let’s just be honest, it’s big enough to accommodate him and Kae when they come to visit and, yes, I did think to add a little bit more space just in case they ever decide to have children.  Vashlan already likes his room and has great plans for putting in more bookcases, however, we’ll see how things work out.

Yes, Vashlan is the only one of the family members that has seen the house since it has been finished and we’ve started planning on being here more often as a family group.  He’s installed the wards and has everything pretty much in shape for us, so, I’m happy and contented with that.

I can’t begin to tell you how happy I was to finally be able to escape from Silvermoon once Zippie got back from her adventurers.  Oh yeah, she definitely needed to get away for a while, however, I think that I almost gave the poor thing a stroke when she got back.  I’m not too keen on paperwork to start with, however, I am great at having organized stacks of paper – you know, current contracts, new and approved contracts and then the ultimate, collections and contracts that I have turned down.  I know exactly where everything is and I don’t see the need nor have the desire to file that stuff.  So, let’s just say that she is going to be filing papers for a while and I did tell her to draft someone or even hire someone to help her in the office.

The business here in Shattrath is just booming.  It seems that there are quite a few people down here that need what we have to offer and they want the services that we can render.  I will admit that I was really surprised at how fast things come in, the employees that we have here are definitely go-getters and they want to make sure that they meet the contract dates even more so than the group in Silvermoon.   With all of the people that came here from Dalaran, I suppose there weren’t that many jobs around for them to do and Morningstar Enterprises has filled part of that gap.  Amyn always laughs when we meet at the warehouse because we still have to be careful how we act there because of the employees, you never know if someone will try to turn us in for being traitors to our political factions, you just never know.  One of these days, I hope, that there will come a time that we can just be ourselves and not have to worry about things concerning factions.  Wouldn’t that be grand, to have peace in Azeroth.

Agatha has  her youngest sister staying with her in Silvermoon for the time being.  Guess the kid wanted to see the big city and she also wanted me to try to talk Agatha and her parents into her becoming a Ranger.  I have no problem in putting in a good word concerning the Rangers, it was a great way for me to make a living for quite a few years.  This is the first time in all the years that Agatha has been with me that she has brought any of her family to stay at the house with her, it seems odd, however, I trust her judgment in things like that.   The girl is absolutely beautiful  even if she has a wild quality to her that kind of reminds me of myself at her age, however, I’m sure that Agatha will be able to keep her in check.  I’m also happy that Dawnglory already has a woman because I have a feeling that he would be all over this girl without much trouble, he does like an attractive woman and this one is definitely not ugly.

Well, I do know that my sister, Faendra , is definitely in Pandaria and is having trouble fitting in with the lifestyle of the Rangers.  Hey, it was her choice to go that route, I could have helped her somewhat, however, I will not tolerate her trying to muck up Dawnglory’s life.  I have gotten several letters from the people that are still in service up there and they have told me that she is quite the little problem child, she hates taking orders and being made to do things that she feels are beneath her.  I did respond to her Commander’s letter and told him to treat her as he would any recruit that wasn’t quite willing to fit in with the rest of the group.  So, I’m sure that Fae is finding the military life a bit hard to fathom.  It was her choice to leave what I had set up for her in Silvermoon and she can deal with what she has now.

I can’t begin to put down in words how I felt when Amyn and I finally got to Nagrand.  It was like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I could finally just relax.  Just having Amyn with me is like finding that part of myself that always seems to be out of kilter when she isn’t with me.   I know that when I was lying in the bed, holding her in my arms that I felt like we had been “home” here in the new house forever and it was never going to change.

I don’t know exactly how long the two of us will be able to stay here right now because both of us have our hands full with the businesses.   I know I am planning on staying for at least two weeks if not longer and I assume that Amyn is planning the same, she hasn’t said.  I did hint that she ought to bring her parents down here with the boys because I haven’t seen them that much since we left Dalaran and to be quite honest, I miss the kids.  I know I had to laugh at her when she smiled at me and told me that she’d like to spend some time alone with me before we started getting “guests” to come stay for a while.  I have to agree, we do need this time alone too.

Fnor Morningstar





Meanwhile…Back In Stormwind

June 9th

Dear Journal,

While it can be said that I enjoy working for Shadowmoon Enterprises, I’m not so sure that I enjoy having to deal with this little frog person from Morningstar Enterprises when I am in Shattrath.  Her voice, oh by the Light, her voice makes my teeth hurt and the language – it’s so crude sounding when she speaks Common, which she has a limited vocabulary at best.  At least we’re not together all of the time, we just happen to run into one another in Shattrath from time to time. Zippie, what a ridiculous name that is and the surname isn’t too far from wrong with it being Prattfall – she does seem to do that frequently, in my opinion.

I suppose if I could be considered a traitor in some circles by working for an employer that is married to a Sindorei and they are running businesses and selling goods to both factions.  Amyn tells me that is making money for both sides and that I should realize that she would never do anything that would be harmful for the Alliance.  I do know that we don’t send out weapons to the Horde, however, we send out all manner of goods to them.  Of course, now that this Zippie person has access to our warehouse goods in Shattrath, it will mean that I will have to inventory a lot more when I am down there to make sure that we have what  we need to service our customers and that we are being compensated correctly when she takes goods.  I don’t think that combining the two companies outwardly like it has been done is a wise decision either – what if some person happens to talk to the right people in Stormwind, we could all end up in jail.  At least I only have to endure the place once a month down there and collect what monies are owed on contracts if Amyn hasn’t already done so.  She works hard for a boss and I will have to tip my hat to her for that because she seems to balance her marriage, her family and the political situation quite well.   I have seen her husband in Shattrath and I will have to admit that he is quite handsome for a Blood Elf.  I can actually see some resemblance in the boys now that I have laid eyes on their Sire.  Most assuredly, the boys look more decidedly Kaldorei, however, the way they both smile  and that self-assuredness that seems to be a trait of the Sindorei is definitely in evidence.

I will have to admit that I enjoyed the short trip that I made to Pandaria, however, I’m not sure that I like all of the bears there.  Oh, they are friendly and likeable enough, however, I don’t think that I have ever been overly fond of furries.  The countryside is beautiful and dangerous in some areas or so I’m told.  I know that I was up there primarily to give my opinion on opening another warehouse up there and I don’t think that it is such a good idea because who knows which way the Horde will go from one day to the next  – the other company’s people might decide to revolt and take everything over and then, where would our employees be?  Not a good plan in my considered opinion.

I had Vashlan keep an eye on things while I was away and his Mother was visiting with his Father.  Not real sure that was such a good idea.  He hired some people while I was away and I can’t help but feel that he wasn’t using his brain when he hired them – they were all women.   At least I know what drives the young man and I think that I will ask someone else the next time I have to be absent and Amyn isn’t going to be in town.   We’ll have to see how all of this works out, won’t we?

I guess that Kaldor is making arrangements to have all of his stock for his contracts shipped into Stormwind instead of making the trip down like he was.  I wonder what is up with that, I really like that young fellow.  I suppose his late night carousing here in Stormwind with his friends has caused him some complications with his woman, she’s a Sentinel or was a Sentinel and those women don’t put up with much nonsense from their men, which is as it should be.

Oh, I did have a nice surprise when I got back to town.  I had a letter from Lagn and he is staying in Darnassus for the time being.  He also had some flowers delivered that were quite lovely.  The letter was friendly enough and was mostly about his time with the Kaldorei and then he asked me out to dinner.  I suppose it wouldn’t hurt anything if I did go out to dinner with him even if he is an employee.  I’ll have to give that some thought though, might not  be the proper thing to do.

Oh well, I suppose I ought to stop writing and get back to work.  I just dread trying to balance the books for our share in Shattrath and then have to turn around and balance the books for here in Stormwind.  There are times that I feel almost trapped at my desk and the weather has turned quite lovely and I would like to be outside enjoying it – this past winter of being stuck here most of the time has made me almost loathe it.





Ramblings and…Some Realizations

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

March 2nd

Dear Journal,

I woke up this morning a bit before dawn and stood on the balcony outside of our bedroom here in Nagrand and allowed myself the luxury of enjoying a cigarette as I gazed out over the valley and lake.  The air was brisk in these pre-dawn hours, so, I did wrap my robe closely around me instead of allowing it to billow out as I leaned against the balcony railing.

Gazing out at the over the land, the twin moons were still floating tranquilly in the air and their light made the water of the lake appear as though it were a giant silver mirror laying there amongst the reeds. The whole scene had an almost déjà vu quality to it and would have made the hair on the back of my neck rise with the exception that I could hear my beloved Sentinel moving in the bed behind me.

If I were as talented as Dawnglory, I would have put a brush to canvas to capture this moment in time, this particular view with its pastel colours awash as the sun started to rise to chase the night mists away.  It was a beautiful sight and one that I don’t think that I will ever grow tired of.  As I stood there watching the sun bring it’s warmer colors to the area and shattering what was left of the eerie dreamlike quality it held before, I realized one of the reasons that I like Halfhill in Pandaria so much.  This area of Nagrand has some of the same qualities as the Valley of Four Winds – that peace and most of the tranquility that I feel like is displayed here in Nagrand.

Amyn and I had stayed in Shattrath City all of last week and decided that we need to escape the noise of the construction for a while and took the short flight here to Nagrand.  I will admit that Amyn was correct in her thoughts that the construction was just too noisy for any kind of proper rest.  We both were working in  the warehouse with the other workers, Amyn wearing her tool belt like it was a normal part of her attire and me, constantly swearing each time I miscalculated my aim with my hammer to nail.

How can someone that is as talented with bow that can take aim at a bird in the air and bring it down so quickly as a clean kill have so much trouble putting a nail in a piece of wood and injuring themselves?  I suppose that means that I won’t take a second career as a carpenter. Amyn didn’t have the same trouble and was constantly smiling or outright laughing at me, which seemed to make matters worse on my end.

I did notice while we were working that some of the men working with us would steal occasional glances at my beloved, making some rather interesting sounds as they watched her move ever so gracefully about her tasks.  I know that most Sindorei males haven’t seen a Kaldorei this close up without having a bow in their hands, however, I think that they might have controlled their comments a bit more.  I don’t think that any of them realized who she was or who I was for that matter, except maybe for the foreman.  I think part of my problem with putting the nail in the wood was from the distractions of hearing some of the comments in Thalasian coming from my fellow workers.  Yes, she does have long legs and yes, she does have a beautiful body – all of these things being spoken as if she didn’t understand what they were saying.   Little did they know that she understood every single word and I think she took some pleasure in taunting them a bit with various poses from time to time.

I think it was all well and good for Amyn and I to leave Shattrath and head to our home in Nagrand before I punched a couple of the fellows in their faces.  We have quite a few workers in our warehouse in Shattrath and they are of all races and both factions – it’s a funny thing how promise of money can cross those lines without any kind of political influence.  Too bad there isn’t enough money in the world to pay off all of these greedy bastards and gain some peace in the world again.

We still don’t have a housekeeper in Nagrand yet, so, we were forced to prepare our own evening meal when we arrived which didn’t take that long.  We sat there for quite a while as we ate and talked about all manner of things.  I think that we are falling back into our old habits that we had developed so easily when we were living in Dalaran.

As we would wont to do, we both retired to the master suite and filled the black marble tub with hot water where we both had enough room to step and enjoy that luxury together. It definitely brought back some old memories, this simple act of bathing together, it also reawakened the same passions that we had enjoyed in Dalaran.  That luxury of washing one another’s long hair as we sat in the hot water is very sensuous as well as relaxing.

After our bath, we retired to fireplace which we had lit before going into the bathroom to dispel the chill of night from the room.  We sat there on the rug in front of the fire in nothing more than what Elune had given us at birth and just talked.  I was able to actually sit there and admire my woman without immediately tackling her for a romantic interlude, I was actually wanting to do just that, however, I also wanted to take the time to capture this visual in my mind for all time.  Amyn took down the ivory lute from the mantle and sat down to play one of the old Kaldorei ballads – I sat there as if I had been captured in time, taking in the music as if it were the last water on the desert. It was a moment that I wish could have gone on forever.

I know that people wonder when I say things about my wife, them not knowing that she is Kaldorei, and wanting to see this lovely vision that I describe at times.  I always tell them that she is somewhere other than where she really is. One day, in my lifetime, I have a dream of being able to introduce my Sentinel to some of my friends without them wanting to kill her and damning me for the rest of all time.  Some day we will have that peace in Azeroth.

Even though Shattrath is the last open city in our worlds, there are still some people that are extremely loyal to their factions and we have to respect that and avoid them as much as possible.  There are people that harbor the old prejudices that they have brought from their homelands.  Now that I have been away from the city for several years, I am sharply reminded that the humanities haven’t really changed and aren’t that much different than what they were a long time ago.

I still marvel at how well Amyn has raised our sons and our stepsons in this ragtag community.  The boys seem to have adjusted to the life here and have been able to take that out into the world, which is a very good thing.  They had already learned how to avoid certain things before they went back to Kalimdor and the Eastern Kingdoms.   I also am forced to realize how much of their growing up was done in my absence and I will continue to try to make it up to them as time permits.  I think that the two oldest boys have come to accept me for who and what I am a lot faster than the two little guys.   Let’s just say that I love all of our children, regardless of the fact that the two little boys aren’t of my blood at all.

I think that Amyn and I have been very lucky and blessed by Elune and the Light to have been able to raise our children with such relative ease. We have both given thanks to the Naaru for the peace that they have given us here in their city.

By The Sunwell!! I am definitely waxing nostalgic, poetic or whatever this morning.  I’m just being a windbag of words while I write this all down.  I am just trying to capture on paper some of the feelings that I am having at the moment without much luck.  Pity the fool that ever reads this, they might die of boredom before they reach the end of this entry.

What I was trying to say in short and simple terms is that I am very happy being with my loving wife and I am trying to be thankful for every moment that we have together, good and bad.

Speaking of bad, I really am concerned about the things that may or may not be going on in Silvermoon in regard to my little sister.  After this last time together, I am fully realizing that I don’t really know her at all.  I almost want to ask what happened to my real sister and where the heck did this evil doppelganger come from.  The girl that sat with me at the table eating a meal before I left is not the girl that I had raised. This one is extremely dangerous and devious and I can see it, I can almost taste the danger that she has emanating from her.   Trust me, I am very fearful of what she might do next, I don’t think that she has any qualms about doing anything anymore – she could possibly go completely rogue and start killing people to get to her undisclosed goals in life.   Where is the warm loving young woman that I had loved?  This person staying in our home in Silvermoon is not that person.

It is a terrible feeling when all of your instincts are screaming at you to stay away from her.  Stay as far away as humanly possible because she is definitely a threat to your safety. I think that the next time that I return to Silvermoon I will make arrangements for her to live in one of the other houses that I own and have the main house re-warded, yet again.  I have spoken quite openly with Amyn about some of my concerns and she agreed with me after showing her canine teeth and hissing a few times.

I have always worked on the premise that if there is a danger that is unavoidable, you need to meet it head on, however, this is my sister that I’m talking about, not some enemy that has lain in wait to attack me.  Well, maybe she has been lying in wait, in full sight and I have been unable to recognize the danger until now.  Who knows what may happen in the future, I don’t and yet I do.  There will come a time, I think, where I will have to make a choice on which of us is going to survive this life.

Fnor Morningstar

Heading Back To Shattrath…

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

February 21st

Dear Journal,

I’ll admit that I am still sitting on my arse in Silvermoon getting a few things dealt with.  Zippie has done a great job with the warehouse and business here and seems to be anxious to get a look at the establishment in Shattrath.  Can’t say that I am disappointed that she thinks that she can handle both places for a while until business starts to build up in Shattrath again like I suspect that it will.

I am a little proud of myself this morning because I actually was able to fill two of the bounty hunting contracts from the clients in Undercity just by walking down through the Bazaar.  One fellow literally ran right into me and we talked briefly  – he told me his name and I had him covered right there.  The second one, I was sitting in the bar and  another fellow joined me for a drink and told me his name – he was nabbed that quickly too.  No muss, no fuss, no scene.  These were just petty thefts which told me that they might have been harder if the people that were involved were a little brighter.  I sent Zednick over to do the collections and to take the fellows back to Undercity to face the music.

One of the things this morning at breakfast is that I noticed is that Fae never meets my eyes.  We never make real eye contact at all.  That tells me that she is already plotting and planning stuff.  When I think about it though, she hasn’t been able to look me square in the face for quite a while. She was like this for a while when Felaran joined us in Dalaran, however, when I think back on it, she has been this way since Amyn and I got married in the Sindorei fashion.  I know that there is a good deal of resentment of my wife and even, yes, jealousy, however, it is just another thing that I have noticed since she and I have spent some time together.  I know that it almost breaks my heart to think that Amyn and Fnar may be right about her – I’m just a means to an end for her and that’s the only relationship that we have left.  She’s in it for the money and not for the love of family.  I know that my parents would be deeply saddened to see this happen because they only wanted what was best for their daughters and I suppose that Fae’s exposure to Silvermoon growing up may have put the nail in the coffin.   Oh well, I’m not going to dwell on it because I think it might be too late to even try to change her now.

She has never said she was truly sorry that I got ill after our argument the other day.  She is acting as if it never happened and is following the guidelines that I laid out for her, however, I can tell in her manner of speaking that she wants to say so much more about things regarding the business and my family.  Well, I do have Zippie keeping an eye on her in regard to the business and sometimes here at the house, however, I think that I will have a talk with Agatha about it as well, she has an eagle eye for things that are not quite right.

Speaking of Agatha, I just realized how long she has been working for me without complaint.  When I first went to Dalaran and could afford a housekeeper, she was the one that hired.  Her loyalty to me and the family have been astounding.  From what I can gather from some of the conversations that I have had with her, she has no family to speak of and she’s never married.  Her not ever being married surprises me because she would make some lucky man very happy.  I know that she is a very attractive Sindorei woman and there were rumors flying around Dalaran for quite a while about some kind of relationship that might have happened between the two of us.  To be honest, I thought about it a couple of times, however, I always follow the rule of not dipping my quill in the company ink.  She’s been loyal to me and a steadfast friend when I was at my lowest points in my life.  Let’s just say that I just gave her a sizeable increase in salary for the many years of service.

I told her about the plans of opening the house in Nagrand again and I would appreciate it if she could recommend someone to take charge down there.  Her immediate response was that she would go with the family to Nagrand if that was where we would be spending most of our time and it would be far easier for her to find a replacement for the houses here in Silvermoon. That did have some merit because it would make my life a lot easier with the transition.

Oh these last couple of nights have had my head and body filled with dreams of my Sentinel.  I am not inclined to have these wild erotic dreams, however, I think my body is telling me that it is time for me to get back into the arms of my lover. Last night was a pleasant dreams as far as dreams go and I did wake up feeling very satiated, which is surprising since I was definitely alone in bed.

Someday, in the future, possibly in my lifetime, my family will be able to come to Silvermoon with me.  A man is allowed to dream, isn’t it.  A foolish dream, however, it is one that crosses my mind frequently.  I would love to show my sons the beauty of the city since it’s recovery from the Scourge Invasion, I would like to show them where I grew up and show them the places where their Father actually studied.  You can say what you will about the Sindorei, the vanity notwithstanding, we are a very proud race and have fought hard to maintain our existence even with treachery occurring in both factions.

Well, my bags are almost packed for the trip back to Shattrath and to my love.  I am looking forward to seeing her again and to spend some more time just feeling like the old married man that I very much am.   I think Pan will be happy to escape the confines of Silvermoon too, he and Fae’s cat do not get on well even though the cat is one of his offspring.  What can I say?  Dawnglory’s cat has had several litters with Pan being the proud Father.

Fnor Morningstar


A Sense of Dread…

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

February 8th

Dear Journal,

Oh, these last few weeks in Nagrand have been blissfully happy and I will have to say that it saddens me to think that we will have to leave and go back to our businesses to check on things for at least a couple of days. Amyn probably won’t have anything to keep her in Stormwind for very long, however, I know that she wants to check on her parents and our two youngest boys in Dolonaar too.

I just dread the thought of going back to Silvermoon to check on things because I am sure that Zippie has kept things under control pretty much with the business, however, the little voices in my head are filling me with doubts about my sister, Faendra. Call it a sense of foreboding or what you will, I have just felt exceedingly uneasy the last couple of days after my thoughts would wander towards the subject of Silvermoon City.  I hope my feelings are wrong and that things are going well.

Oh, my beloved Sentinel and I did make it to the Faire and we did feel some guilt about the fact that we hadn’t brought any of the family with us, however, this time is meant for the two of us to spend alone together.  Amyn doesn’t need the children underfoot all of the time and I sure don’t need any nonsense that my sister might be plotting.

We drank way too much and we just ate and played games for the entire day and night until closing.  Oh, I don’t think that I will be scolding Kal again for taking a woman in one of the vacant tents there on the grounds because his Mother and I took advantage of the same tent several times.  There’s just something wildly erotic about making love with the chance of someone walking in on you, isn’t there? I have to chuckle because I am sure that it would sound like Amyn and I live our lives between our legs, however, that is very much not the case because there are times when we don’t get an opportunity to be intimate for months – which I am sure makes her as cranky as it does me.

Just sitting there on the beach at the Faire holding hands was fun for us both and we talked about so many things.  How things used to be and how things are for us now.  I know that we are looking forward to being able to gather the family together again in Shattrath and Nagrand because we both hate the way that things have been for the last few months.  Oh sure, Amyn was able to make a quick trip to Halfhill and spent a couple of nights with me, however, those nights were filled with so much passion that we really didn’t have a whole lot of time for just talking.

I know that we have spent a great deal of time talking and making plans for the future while we have been in Nagrand and it has been wonderful.  Neither one of us is planning on letting ourselves come in second to the businesses and family things again because it has put a lot of stress on the two of us.  We’re getting older, yes, however, we’re both still young enough to want to spend some time together just enjoying life – you know, just going fishing or hunting with your mate is fulfilling in its own right.

We’ re already making plans to take the little guys on a camping trip to Feralas too.  I know that it has been a couple of years since we have been able to do that and we’ll invite the older boys to come along if they are free or have a desire to join us.  I know that area of Kalimdor has special meanings for Amyn and I because we both swear that that was where Kal was conceived.  We had gone camping there quite a bit because it was off the beaten path and we didn’t have to worry too much about the Sentinel’s stumbling over our camping spot nor running into any of the Horde – it was very secluded and not easy to get too.  I think that we’ll take the boys there too because there is a little lake for fishing as well as bathing.

My mind keeps wandering back to Silvermoon this morning which is starting to really annoy me.  I have a strong suspicion that I am going to have trouble awaiting me when I arrive.  In my heart I am in hopes that Faendra has changed and isn’t the spoiled willful child that she was before she ran away, however, in my mind, I have a strong inkling that she will be up to her old tricks again.  I think Amyn may be right in her opinion that you can bring a wild animal into your home, domesticate it and give it everything that it might require and it will still be a wild animal that can turn on your person without a moment’s notice. People can modify their own behavior, however, deep down, they don’t really change their core being.

I have had to face a few harsh realities in regard to my sister since she ran away and since she has returned.  She’s spoiled and feels that she is entitled to anything and everything that she wants regardless of the cost or consequences.  That’s my fault because of the way that I raised her.  I was always trying to compensate for the loss of our parents by treating her like some little china doll or something and I would shower her with gifts and would give her anything that she wanted – that was fine when she was a little girl and I was trying to make up for my absences while she stayed in a foster home with Felessa in Silvermoon City.

However, when she became a grown woman in her own right, things were decidedly different. Her willful acts of cruelty and disrespect for others definitely wasn’t something that I enjoyed and I assume that the people around her were not pleased either.  I hope that she has gotten over her obsession with Dawnglory, however, with the way that she looked at him and his woman at the Faire last month, I’m not so sure that she has.

He and I have talked a great deal about Fae and her feelings for him and we’ve both agreed that she definitely has some issues because he has never treated her any differently than he has his own sister – oh yes, he did flirt with her one Winter Veil and since that time, she has told everyone that would listen that she is going to marry him some day.  Hell, he’s not the marrying kind and hasn’t even married his woman that is carrying his child.  I don’t think either Romy or Dawnglory have any kind inclination of getting married because they both seem to be afraid of that legal and binding contract.

Oh well, I suppose that I should start packing up a few things so that I can head back to Silvermoon and face the music again day after tomorrow.  While I am there, I am going to talk to Agatha and see if she has any recommendations in regard to other housekeepers that she knows that would be willing to make the change to Nagrand.   Damn, I am dreading this trip back more than I have even dared to voice to my beloved.

I know that our two cats are going to be upset at having to be parted again because they have both enjoyed being free to romp the grasslands and hunt together like old times.  Amyn and I both have laughed at how these two animals just seem to thrive here as much as we do.  Silly Pan will always be the cat that is at my side until he is too old to follow along, I don’t see that happening in the near future.

Fnor Morningstar

Meandering Thoughts…

February 6th

Dear Journal,

It’s so beautiful down here in Nagrand that my Sindorei and I are having a terrible time trying to decide to leave.  He wants to stay another week and I am willing to do that, however, I do need to get myself to Stormwind to check on a few things, stop by Dolonaar to make sure that the boys aren’t driving my parents insane.

I think that Fnor is avoiding going back to Silvermoon for any reason, however, I reminded him that it was unfair for him to stay gone for extended periods of time without checking especially since his sister is back in the picture. I know how she was before she ran away and he thinks that she might have grown up more and changed.  Honestly, I think that is absolutely impossible for that girl, she’s too self-absorbed to realize that what she is doing might have a detrimental effect on others.

So, to make a long story short, we’re both going to make a quick trip back to Stormwind and Silvermoon and return here to Nagrand for another week unless something has truly gone amiss that can’t be dealt with swiftly.  I know that neither one of us wants to leave at this point, however, it’s our responsibility to our families and our businesses that we do so.

Oh, it’s been heavenly here in Nagrand, the islands floating in the skies are just perfect for those quick getaways that we’ve always been fond of. If I didn’t realize how many years we have been together, I would say that this had truly reminded me of why I fell in love with my Sindorei.  There is never a dull moment and he is constantly moving from one thing to the next.   The house is remarkable and I think that with a few changes here and there, it will be a small replica of what we had in Dalaran.  However, I do think that we need to start thinking about staffing the place as soon as possible because neither one of us wants to do household chores, although, we have been doing them anyway.

I think that I am going to talk to Magdamia and see what she can do about expediting the transfer of some of the goods to Shattrath a bit faster, which means, I’ll have too for a new manager down here or in Stormwind unless Magdamia wants to try to run both – she probably could do that although I know that she truly does need to work on her people skills.

I know that I sometimes wonder how old my Sindorei is, I mean really, he’s always seemed very young and yet there was a maturity about him when I first met him that made me think that he was quite a bit older.  It could also be from his education and the burdens of command that he has always held so willingly too or it could be from the fact that he had to grow up very fast when he had to take on the burden of raising his sister, plus, searching for his sister that became a Death Knight.

I just know that while we have been here in Nagrand, eating properly and getting a well deserved rest, I have watched him get even younger in appearance.  When we first got here, he was looking quite a bit worn and quite a bit older, now, he looks like he did when we lived here in Shattrath.  Yes, yes, I know that he had some work done to have the scars removed from his face and his ears repaired after his ordeal of torture when he was captured by some Sentinels, however, that wouldn’t explain how he almost seems to be ageless sometimes. Oh, he does have some silver strands in his hair here and there but it just makes him look more distinguished befitting his rank.  Oh, we’ve laughed about the fact that we’re both getting older, however, when we are together it does seem like the clock takes a roll back and we act and feel as we once did all those years ago.  I know I feel a bit older because the roads haven’t always been smooth for the two of us and I had the children to raise when my Sindorei would decide to be flighty for a while – he’s not strayed since we got married in Dalaran.

Oh, I’m not silly enough to think that somehow the Fates have given us eternal life or anything, especially when I look at my boys.  Elune’s Blessings!! I look at Kal and he has definitely grown up in maturity and his body has definitely increased in its bulk.  I think that Vashlan is always going to be thinner of the two because he forgets to eat and I think that he got a good dose of the Sindorei heritage there – always the fancy dresser, his hair is always immaculate as well as anything else about his personal things.  My two sons with my Sindorei are as different from one another as night is to day.  Oh, the two youngest boys, they are definitely all Kaldorei and as mischievous as can be, I don’t know how my parents and I have survived their rearing.

If Elune smiles on us before I get too old, I do want to have another child and would like for it to be healthy and a little girl. I know that Fnor would dote on a little girl because he’s had past experiences being raised with his two sisters.  He regales me with tales of how they grew up in Silvermoon and some of the things that they did.  It’s mind boggling how different the two societies can be and yet, very similar.  No, if we had a daughter, I would definitely try to dissuade her from joining the Sentinels, maybe take up something in the priesthood.  Oh, it’s not that I think the Sentinels are bad, I learned my skills and earned my way for quite a few years and my heart and soul are still part of that group.  However, I would want something different for my daughter.

Oh, I’m just getting crazy with my thoughts today.  They seem to be jumping from one thing to another as quickly as a firefly blinks it’s light.  My Sindorei informed me that he is going to take a nap because it seems I wore him out last night – that did make me giggle because I’m not the one that kept things going. Oh my, I just got the eyebrow waggle there, guess that’s a hint that he’s not really all that tired and I think that I shall take him up on his invitation to join him for that nap.


It Was The Right Decision

January 29th

Dear Journal,

I’m sitting here in my tent and asking myself if I made the right decision to come back now.  What I am doing at the moment is just cleanup in Mount Hyjal.  I know that I am getting used to the routine, the patrols and building up my camaraderie with the other Sentinels, yet, my heart is still torn about my decision to return.

I know that my Sindorei is very angry with me because I have heard absolutely nothing from him.  He is usually very prompt in his responses to any letters or messages that I have sent him in the past.  This makes me wonder if he has even received the message yet. He has to know that this was not an easy decision for me to make and, yes, maybe I should have discussed it with him before I took any action on it.  However, it would have made me feel that I was looking for his approval or even permission to do anything with my life other than just take care of the children, the business and our homes.  No, that definitely went against the grain of my thoughts.  I’ve never had to “ask” his permission for anything and he has done the same to me.  I just want to hear from him, I miss him.  This is all because I want to join him in Panderia, not sit on my backside and wait in Shattrath for six months to a year before he decides to send for me.

I’ve spent a lot of time in my life just sitting and waiting for him to come back to me.  No, that isn’t going to be happening any longer.  I have a spine and I’m tired of just being used for a homemaker – that’s not what I took all of the training as a Sentinel for back when I was younger.   No, I’m not going to be one to be sitting at home and waiting, I don’t know why I allowed that to happen in the first place. Yes, I allowed it to happen and by Elune, I’m done with that.  No more will this woman be sitting at home.

I will be heading back to Dolonaar to check on my two youngest boys in the next couple of days.  Yes, I do miss them, however, I don’t miss the supposed domestic bliss that went along with it – there was no bliss, I was there with children, cleaning house, cooking, doing the laundry and trying to make them feel like they had a home of sorts. 

Oh, the memories that it brings back to me in the days when their Father was still alive and he would be there with me – not like my Sindorei that seems to be completely capable of packing up his belongings and heading out the door to something new.  Yes, the war, there is always going to be a war somewhere, that doesn’t mean that he has to be there.  He had a choice of not going this time, no, that’s unfair, he didn’t have a choice, however, I think that he could have handled it differently.  He was ordered to go back into service and he went – no questions asked, he had to go.

I had a choice.  I could have stayed hidden in Shattrath with all of the new refugees that have filtered in during the last few weeks or I could go out and take an active role in what was going on in the world.  I chose the latter.

None of the other women up here are not mated.  I guess I’m a bit older than some of them and I am one of the few that has children.  It’s not unusual to do what I have done in so far as having children, however, only the youngest boys are Kaldorei.  Of course, I’m not going to tell anyone here that I am married to a Sindorei, that would be sheer stupidity on my part and I could end up getting killed for being a traitor for just that reason.  I know that Kal does it, he keeps his hereditary a secret for the most part because he physically has the appearance of a Kaldorei except for his eyes have green flecks in them.  He’s survived all of these years and so has Vashlan.  It wasn’t easy for either one of them and it never will be, however, I love them as much or even more because of whom their Father is.

I miss my husband and my mind keeps wandering back to him.  Why hasn’t he written?  Why hasn’t he tried to get in touch with me?  Is he just that angry that I decided to do something on my own so that I didn’t have to sit on my butt and just worry about him and Kal?  I just hope that I haven’t shocked his Sindorei pride too much by taking things back into my control.

Oh well, it’s time for me to get out of my tent and go do what I am being paid for.  I also need to go see my two little boys and stop off in Stormwind to make sure that Maggie is keeping things in order for the business there since it may be my only source of income for the future if my Sindorei has decided that “this” decision was too much for his masculinity to bear.  I know in my heart that I made the right decision for me, however, I don’t know if it was the right decision for my marriage.