It’s been a very long time since I have written in my journal – a very long time. I think that the reason that I feel like writing at the moment is that my home feels very empty. Some of my children are still living here at home, however, my two eldest have gone away – my son, Naton and my daughter, Mahamura.
I miss them, however, they have to follow the path that the Earth Mother has given them to follow even if their old Mother disagrees with them. I can understand why Mahamura felt the need to go adventuring in this new land called Panderia – she was ordered to go there by our Chieftain, however, I am still curious as to why Naton went.
He’s already given up his life once, I don’t understand why he wants to put what life he has in jeopardy again. Oh, I’ve seen some of the tribes people look at him askance because of his condition and they try to avoid him sometimes even though they clamor for his blacksmithing skills at the forge.
To me, he’s no different than he was before he became a Death Knight. That was no more his fault than it was mine that his Father and I were captured by the Grimtotem and held as slaves for all of those years. My poor boy lost his life trying to find us and was raised by an unholy man to serve under the banner of the Lich King. My son, my oldest son, it breaks my heart, however, to me – he’s not dead, he’s not this Sadheart – he’s still Naton Cloudhoof, son of Mooma Cloudhoof.
I have noticed that a lot of our young people are gone these days and I am assuming that they are off fighting this war for the Horde. This is not what they were raised for, this is not the Tauren way, however, it is something that our Chief says that we must do. I hate to see all of our young people going off to fight a war that really has no reason to be in these old eyes. At least I still have my two youngest sons still at home with me, Nahai and Tahfal. They can at least give me some comfort in my old age.
I’m sitting here questioning everything tonight in these predawn hours. Where are all of the young people, where have all the flowers gone, where are some of my old friends? The young people are off fighting a war for the Horde, the flowers are gone because it is wintertime, you old silly woman, and my old friends have gone to lie in the arms of the Earth Mother.
I know that I upset Nahai and Tahfal tonight when we were having our evening meal because I kept saying how much I missed their siblings. Naturally, Tahfal tells me that it is Light and the word of the Earth Mother that they are gone for a while – it doesn’t mean that they will be gone forever. How does he know this? I wait every day to get a letter or see a messenger in Thunder Bluff, expecting them to tell me that my children are in the arms of the Earth Mother.
I guess I’m just being a cranky old woman and I want my children here with me. There may be glory and there may be money to be made in this war – however, when it tears my family apart, I have to question the Chieftain’s judgment. All I see is some crazed Orc sending all of the races off to fight this war to give him more power and riches – I see other parents sitting by the funeral pyres, covered in ashes and mourning the loss of their children. I don’t want to be one of those parents.
Maybe one of these days, Nahai, Tahfal and I will go visit this strange land even if it is only to find their siblings. I may be too old to some people, however, my skills in herbing and as an inscriptionist would be needed in this new land. I would like to see this place and it’s strange people. I would like to see this place and my children together again.