It’s been a few days since I have written in my journal, however, life or in my case, unlife has been rather busy and extremely profitable. I know that it seems as if I am on a treadmill of sorts, I go out mining, prospect my jewels that I wish to use at a future time and sell the ones that I don’t need at the moment. At least it is giving me the opportunity to see this new continent of Pandaria.
I have run into quite a few of my Ebon Blade brethren up here in this vast land and they all say the same thing. This country doesn’t appear to be as biased towards our kind as they appear to be in the Eastern Kingdoms, Kalimdor and yes, even Northrend. I know from y own experience that I have seen the looks that people will give my kind on occasion, however, it seems to be quickly masked up here.
I don’t need the money that I am earning these days, however, I do need the companionship of my fellows to keep from going stark raving mad. I have no desire to return to those days when I was a mindless killing machine running amuck wherever the Lich decided to send me and do his bidding. I did join up with a group of mercenaries that works primarily with the soldiers that are still maintaining their vigil and battling over this very prosperous land. I am still serving the King and Country as was my choice prior to my demise. I willingly admit that some of them I wouldn’t have ever socialized with in my days of life, however, they are a decent lot for the most part. There are quite a few of them that have no memories of their pasts, some that have some angst at being what they are and some, yes, some that feel that the living have no place in this world. I am very careful to keep my own feelings very well guarded when I am around these people. Yes, I am there to earn money and yes, I am there to feed my Rune Blade along with the rest of them. Without the killing of man and beast, that Blade would drive us insane enough to where we might fall against one another.
I still have a few living friends that I will socialize with in the Valley of Four Winds and in the Vale, however, they know that I am somewhat reserved in their presences even if I am or appear to be quite wealthy in my own right.
I have been asked many times about my family in Stormwind and I tell them I cannot remember them. However, I do remember them quite well and there are times that I have that longing to be with them and relive some of those close family memories, however, the deal was struck that they would send me money on a monthly basis so that I could survive on my own, and not to darken their door. It isn’t every day that you return home such as I did and to find that your family would not take joy in having you back in any condition. However, with my change, they are too embarrassed at the thought that I was that poor of a soldier that I fell in battle – which they honored with a fine headstone in the cemetery and honored as hero – they seem shamed that I was changed into what I am today.
Ah, yes, I do seem to be dwelling on that subject a bit today and maybe it’s because if I were living, it would have been the day of my birth. I wonder if they had a party in my name or even took a walk to the cemetery to place flowers upon my empty grave. Being a person with a sick and twisted sense of humor and a changed name, if I were closer to Stormwind, I would take flowers to my empty grave and stand there admiring the nice stonework that was wrought by the masons. Oh, they did a bang up job on the flower and vine carvings, honoring the fallen first born of the family. I can only but imagine the Wake that was held in my honor.
No, I am not thrilled at being shunned by my family, at least I didn’t kill them all as some of my fellows have done when they returned home and were met with the same response that I was given, however, I know that I would remember it all – my memories are very much intact which is indeed an oddity amongst my new kin. Do I get angry with how my life has changed, of course I do, I still have some of those emotions, however, it wouldn’t serve me well to let those emotions become known.
I am enjoying my unlife in Pandaria. I can still enjoy the sunshine and even the rain. I know that I can take some pleasure in knowing that I will never grow old, I will never have the ailments that befall others in their old age, however, I will never have a wife, a family or a real home of my own. Certainly, I can buy a parcel of land in Halfhill and become a gentleman farmer of sorts, which is something that appeals to a part of me. At least it will have a little house where I can hide away and work on the jewelry that I have been gathering stones for and sell those at the market. I have several fine pieces that I may journey back to Stormwind to sell in the near future. Even though I may be just another Death Knight trapped in this world, I still have the need to call a place home.
If I had any doubts about my condition in this world, the wants and needs of a man alive, I would have probably gone completely out of my mind. There are so many beautiful women of all races that if I were alive, I’m sure that I would try to bed the majority of them before some jealous husband did me in.
Oh well, I suppose I could go to the Inn tonight and sample a few brews, the affect on me is minimal, however, I do feel the need to drink a few and to toast myself on this, the day of my birth as a human being, even if I am currently dead.