Time For Healing


October 22nd

Dear Journal,

It has been a very long time since I have had the opportunity to write down anything. With everything going on the way that it has – the loss of my home in Teldrassil is one that I shan’t ever forget or forgive.

Never again will I see my little ones playing around my parent’s little cottage and never again will I be able to walk the beautiful halls of the Temple in Darnassus. So many things that have helped create the person that I have become are now gone forever.

At least I was one of the lucky ones that was forewarned by my beloved Sindorei and I was able to get most of my family away from the dangers and to our home in Nagrand. My heart still breaks at the thoughts of so many of our people that were killed with this disaster. So many lives were lost that were needless all because of one woman’s hatred for our people. Another insane Warchief that leads the Horde on her mission of killing anything and everything that stands in her way – even her own people.

I know that the pain that my poor mate endured will take a long time to heal as will my own. Those emotional scars are far worse than a physical injury sometimes. However, we’ve reconciled ourselves to the fact that we will be spending time with our family in Nagrand and Shattrath – all our lives have been torn asunder and have been pieced back together again. We have shared our grief together and have started our healing process – now, we must guard and guide our children through this latest upheaval.

We are trying to make sure that my parents are settling into their new little home in Nagrand as well as keeping them sheltered from things that might upset them about the latest conflict between the factions. I know that they have often wondered why I chose the man that I did, however, they have accepted my choice and have come to love him as one their own even with the differences that he has. I know that we could all be considered traitors to both the Horde and the Alliance, however, one thing that we will never betray is our love of our families.

Our estate in Nagrand is starting to look more like a little village than anything else these days, however, all the people that are living there now are friends and family.   We’ve sheltered many people over the years and we will continue to carry on that tradition – no faction can break the bonds that we have developed with these people – their children have grown up with our own and we consider them all to be an extended part of our family as well.

I did take my Sentinels to the Under City and we did take part in the battle there. It was just amazing how we all fought with such bravery, anger, ferocity and, in some cases, unbridled hatred. I know how our poor King must have felt when Sylvannas snatched the victory from our grasp like a cruel bully snatches a treat away from a child.   I think more of the shock and the horror that I felt when I saw the Horde troops being sacrificed by their Leader *spits off to the side of the desk* as if they meant nothing.

Anduin may never be the same King as his father was, however, I feel that he will lead as he feels is the best for all his people. I don’t think that we will see him sacrifice his people the way that the Dark Lady has shown that she is willing to do. Oh, Elune, how have we all come to this level on Azeroth?

Amynlarae Shadowmoon

 

 

When Worlds Collide


2018-08-29 (1)

August 29th

Dear Journal,

My heart is heavy and my soul has been sorely damaged with all of the things that have happened in the last few weeks.  So many things and so many people have been lost – for what reason?  Elune has taught me that there are few things that I can do to learn that lesson, however, how many times does Azeroth have to deal with this type of conflict – for what reason?

We have fought demons and we’ve fought the scourge and we’ve fought each other for all time, or so it appears to me.  I met my beloved Sindorei in the middle of a conflict with the Horde and he saved my life.  Oh yes, I hated him at first and once I knew him, I knew that he was no different that I am on the inside.   We were supposed to be enemies and we were supposed to kill one another according to the Leaders and Warchief of the time, however, Elune had other plans for us because we fell in love.

The place that my people called home is no more, burned with the people that were still there.  Civilians and soldiers a like – babes in arms,  ancients living in their winter of their of lives.  Anyone and anything that was not fast enough to make it out of the portals and to safety were lost.   It didn’t matter that some of those people had never taken up arms in their lives and had only existed to live their lives in peace and harmony in the World Tree.  Now, they are gone, burned to ash.

I couldn’t believe what was happening because it all felt like a horrific nightmare that I only wanted to awake from.  No matter how hard I tried to wake up – it was no dream and those visions are burnt forever into my mind.

I know this war is about the azurite and the possibility of what it might do and to save our world, however, no one would have thought that the Banshee Queen would have thought immediately to turn it into a thing of mass destruction.   We have lost cities before in the past – Theramore does come to mind and the loss of life there was unbelievable.   No one was prepared, just as we weren’t prepared for the Cataclysm and losses for my people with Deathwing.  So many lives lost just so that we could start it all over again.  Where are the Gods that we have worshipped and bowed to for all of these centuries – can they not control their children any better than we can control ours?

I know that my beloved was there on Dark Shore and I know that he killed just as I did, however, I know that his heart had to be breaking as sorely as mine was.  Some of these people were friends and, yes, even family.  We were ordered as soldiers to do these things and we did them.  That doesn’t mean that we felt it was right – there was no honor in what either faction did and I know that it is only the beginning.

My family is safe because a certain Sindorei told me to get them to safety weeks before anything happened.  Bless Elune that he was willing to risk his life to let me know what he had heard in the war councils – he feels as I do, family comes first.

Amynlarae Shadowmoon

Trying to Stay Focused On Our Future


May 1st

 

Dear Journal,

I know that I have been too busy getting things in order with my family to even be able to sit down and write anything in my journal.  Seems like it has been forever, and I know that it hasn’t.  Fnor and I have been busy in the battles with the demons to have much time to sit down and relax.  I’ll admit that I do run way to Stormwind and sometimes to Draenor, just to escape everything for a while. Just being able to sit down and not smell Fel in the air or even that constant looking around to make sure that you’re in a safe place can sometimes drain the soul out of you.

I had to come back to Stormwind to take care of some business and to check on my boys that are in the city as well as going to check on my parents.  They are getting up in years and there are times that I do worry about them   I know that I am one of the lucky few people in Darnassus that had been raised by my parents instead of being sent off to be raised with the rest of the children.  Yes, it’s odd how our people send their most precious things in the world off to be raised by strangers and not have that family bonding that other races seem to have – it builds a foundation for the families to grow on.  It could possibly be a hold over from the days when the High Elves felt that the parents were not paying proper attention to their duties and the children were a distraction and needed to be trained by others.  I’m never sure why that all came about.  However, back to what I was prattling about.

My parents were doing fine in their little home near Darnassus and seemed to be quite happy there, however, I tried my best to have them make another change in their lives – move to Nagrand, to the house that Fnor and I have there, or we could even build them their own little house.   They have lived with us in Dalaran in Northrend and they were happy there, however, they were extremely frightened when we were driven out – or I should say, when Fnor was driven out because of his heritage.  I think the whole thing was stupid – I can understand that Jaina was upset with the way that things had happened in Theramore and I will admit that we all were – luckily, Varian was still alive back then and could put some kinds of constraints on her hysterical reactions to things.

I think my Father was on the verge of refusing my suggestion when my Mother stopped him and told him that there must be a reason that I would want them to make a change like this and gave me that look that I always dread.  One thing about being raised by your parents is the fact that they really get to know you as an individual, which, makes it difficult for you to pull any shenanigans with them.  She knew I was trying to hide something from her and I had to admit that there were reasons that I wanted them to move.

With all the contacts that Fnor and I have on both factions, we seem to get information far ahead of the counselors and leaders of our separate factions.  We have a lot of people working for us in our businesses and it seems like they can get into places where our military people seem to overlook.  Let’s be real about this, common people talk more amongst themselves and aren’t busy plotting their political intrigues as the higher ups seem to find the time to do.  There appears to be a lot of political unrest in both factions and there have been hints to the common folk that they should be prepared to guard their homes and families even more in the future.  No reasons were given out as to why and it makes me wonder if we’re not rolling back the clock of history to the days when we dare not be affiliated with friends of a different faction.

Of course, my Mother’s opinion of the Dark Lady is pretty much the same as most people.  She was a poor choice for the Horde to take on that evil woman for their Warchief. Even my beloved is not fond of the situation, but one must be careful about voicing your opinions too loudly.

With the rumors flying around like a crazed dervish, I did tell my parents some of the rumors and they were greatly saddened by it, however, they did resolve to make the move to Nagrand within the next couple of weeks to be safe.  I’m almost willing to bet that we are going to end up with a small village of relatives living on the property – we will make room for anyone that wishes to join the family.

Now, I need to go talk to my loving husband and let him know that there is going to be an influx of elves coming to Nagrand to live for a while – naturally, we are going to decide for most of them that do not know that my mate is a Blood Elf to live away from the main property.  I don’t want to bring the old hatreds to where we live.

Amynlarae Shadowmoon

 

 

Yes, We Are Truly Far From Home…


June 10th

Dear Journal,

It has been quite some time since I have made the time to write things down, however, since the transition to Draenor and all of the responsibilities that seem to have been thrust upon me, there just isn’t time.  How was I to know that I would be put in a position where I would be in charge of an entire Garrison?  I know it makes me proud and sad at the same time – I came here to serve the Alliance and to protect Azeroth from these Orcs that have fallen prey to the diabolical mind of Garrosh.  Luckily, that part is pretty much over.  We have been given reason to believe that the crazed fool is no longer with us, however, his influence has befouled the minds of so many that he came into contact with.  We are desperately trying to clean up the mess he left behind.

I will never fully grasp how Garrosh escaped from Pandaria with all of the guards and protections that had been put into place to make sure that he remained in custody.  Oh well, it’s not something that I witnessed and can only go on what I was told happened.  It seems that treachery has a very long arm indeed and the price has to be paid by many.

Today I decided to run away for a while with my journal and write some of my own thoughts down without having the constant interruptions that I have to deal with at “my” Garrison – still feels funny to think that the place is supposedly mine to manage and deal with.  It’s not unlike the company back in Stormwind, same personnel matters. The usual dramas that you have when you put a group of people together in a fairly confined area in a strange place.

I will admit that one of the main reasons that I came to Draenor was because I wanted to be near my Sindorei, my beloved.  Oh, I know that we’re older, however, I can assure you that the passion still runs as deep as it ever did between the two of us and we have been separated too many times in the past to want to endure it any longer.  Yes, our son, Kaldor, is up here as well and I will admit that sometimes I think it embarrasses him to think that his parent may still have some kind of intimate life going on after all of these years. I almost have to laugh because he has his own Sentinel to deal with and one of these days, maybe, I might be a Grandmother, if Elune wishes it.

I’m very happy that Fnor and Kal are here in Draenor, however, my heart yearns to see my other children and my parents.  I don’t understand this time thing at all and it concerns me a great deal. If you could truly feel time passing, I’d say that it is at a snail’s pace in Draenor, does that mean that the time on Azeroth is the same or what?  It’s all very confusing to me and I can’t fathom if there could be a difference.  Of course, there are mages that will transport you back to Azeroth and the correct time for a fee, however, you still need to get permission from your commanding officers above you to take one of those trips – there are people of higher rank that you have to answer too.

I will admit that I am enjoying seeing things the way that they supposedly existed in my time-line long before I was born.  I dearly love Shadowmoon Valley and Nagrand, although, the creature comforts that I have aren’t there in this time period.  For those of us that have lived in Nagrand prior to coming to Draenor, it is indeed quite the shock and the vastness of the area is wonderful.   It takes time to adjust to these things without getting a little bit confused from time to time with landmarks that should be there and are not.

Fnor laughs about the fact that he has to lean heavily on his map reading to find his way around in some places because his memories of our time tend to over-ride what he sees in front of him.  I can well imagine that he wants to get back to our Azeroth as much as I do.

Amyn

 

 

Adjusting to Draenor…


June 28th

Dear Journal,

I know that I have questioned my sanity a few times in the past, however, I think that this time I have every reason to do so.  Yes, I did make the trip to Draenor and can see some of the beauty here in this savage land that my ancestors roamed in Azeroth’s past.   I will never understand this Alternate Timeline thing that has been introduced to us although I am fascinated with it at the same time.  I keep having to remind myself that some of these people that I am meeting here are totally unaware of their own existence in Azeroth nor the history there.  I know that it can all be very confusing if I try to dwell on it for too long.  I’ll just do my duty here with the Sentinels and return to Azeroth in due time.

One of my main reasons for traveling to Draenor is to protect my Azeroth and the other is to find my Sindorei husband.  I know that he traveled here to uphold his oath to the Horde and was ordered here by his Regent Lord in Silvermoon, however, I can’t understand some of the reasoning behind the fact that the travel between the timelines is so restricted on the Horde.  Is it a lack of skilled mages or is it a hidden thing that we have yet to find out about yet.  Do some of the higher ups in the Horde think that if they give their commanders more freedom to travel  back to Azeroth that those people may not return to their duty?   Oh, I’m sure that it will all come to pass sometime in the near future.

I did make my way to Kaldor and Kae’s garrison and I have to admit that those two have done quite well for themselves here in Shadowmoon Valley.  Of course, I can stay with them for a while but I will be staying primarily at the Sentinel encampment not far from here – there are patrols to be done as well as other duties – not to mention, I will be spending some time trying to find my Sindorei.  At least I know where the majority of the Horde main garrisons are located  in Frostfire Ridge and where some of the alternate garrisons are located.  I am almost afraid that this is going to be one of those adventures of finding the needle in the haystack, however, I will do it because that is why I wanted to come here.

I asked Kal if he had heard anything from his Father recently and he said that he hadn’t, however, he knew that his Father was establishing himself in Draenor with quite a good reputation for doing things a bit differently than some of the other Horde Commanders.   Well, I can understand the rumors of his being ruthless in some cases, however, I can understand the other rumors of his unusual kindness to some of the locals too.  In all of the years of our being together and raising our children I have learned to accept the different facets of my beloved’s personality as he has learned to accept mine as well.

I think that Shadowmoon is absolutely beautiful and would enjoy being able to linger in the area as much as possible, however,  I know that we are here for two reasons and that is to defeat the Iron Horde to protect not only the locals and our own in Azeroth, we’re here to make sure that Garrosh Hellscream is brought to justice once again.  I know that Kal and I were discussing some of the things that he had seen and done since he’s been here and we’re both kind of nodding our heads at the fact that not only are we supposedly assisting the Draeni, we’re also trying to make sure that Horde doesn’t take advantage of the situation as they have proven to do in our previous history.

I know that the rebellion within the Horde caused enough strife in the ranks to drive many of the members away from the faction or at least put quite a bit of distance between themselves and  Orgrimmar, my Sindorei is not even be an exception that part.  To have let that Garrosh run rampant and to have let him almost sell out the other races of the faction for his own avarice and egotistical infatuation with the Orc superiority  were the crowning blows that put the nail in the coffin of Garrosh’s reign as Warchief. I can understand the Pandaren wanting to put Hellscream on trial for his crimes against their country, however, at the same time, I wish that they hadn’t been so “fair” about it.  We should have killed the beast when we had the opportunity and we wouldn’t be in the mess that we’re in currently.

I know that I have found myself having the strangest of dreams since I have been here in Shadowmoon Valley, it’s that feeling of being here and not feeling like you truly belong – it’s like you have been dropped into an area where everything is familiar and yet strange at the same time.  I’ve talked to Kal about how I have been feeling since I arrived and he said that he went through the same thing for the first couple of months after his arrival and agreed that it is very disorienting to say the least.   He says that I will adjust to the strange feelings in time and that I shouldn’t give it too much thought or obsess on it because there have been a few instances where the people just went completely off the deep-end or actually went totally native – I can see that happening to some people that don’t have strong personalities.

Ah well, at least I am here now and I can do my duty and still have time to try to locate my Sindorei.  I so miss that husband of mine .

 

Amyn

Finally…Some Good News


Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

May 7th

Dear Journal,

Well, I will have to admit that I did wake up in a better frame of mind this morning than I have in many months.  I had gotten some very good news in my mail last night that I wasn’t expecting and it partially pleased me and discouraged me a bit too.

It appears as though my wife has finally had enough of this separation nonsense and has started on her journey to Draenor or she may already be here after I noticed the date on the letter.  Sometimes it takes a little bit longer for the smuggled mail to make it to me and that’s understandable, at least it was unopened.  Zippie has her own way of disguising mail with her monthly reports, so, I’m sure a couple of the days that it was delayed was while she was finishing up some of her weekly reports that she was sending to me.  Anyway, I got the letter and I will have to admit that I almost shouted with the joy of the news because I have missed my woman more than I thought could be even possible.

I know that Amyn and I had discussed her following me to Draenor and my thought was that we wouldn’t be here that long and that it would be a lot easier for me to get the leaves from the Garrison that it has turned out to be.  All of these months of serving here have taught me that nothing is as it seems, at least in my mind’s eye.    I hope that the Alliance is a little bit more prepared to allow its troops to travel back and forth to their home world than the Horde appears to be at this time.   I now that I have been putting in requests for leave for the last two months and each time I get a letter back telling me how important my position is here in Draenor and that my presence is very much required.

At least I hope that Amyn is in Shadowmoon Valley for a while and I can get over there without being encumbered with troops on a scouting mission.  I know that it is really something that the higher-ups frown on a the Commanders taking off on missions of their own, however, if we don’t do that, we’d end up sitting in the Garrisons and filling out some paperwork that a clerk could do very easily.  Anyway, I’ll try to get word to her as soon as I can, once I can figure out where she might be stationed so that we can get together for some long deserved time.  I know where Kaldor is stationed and I have been able to send him a letter once in a while and he has responded, so, I know that it’s possible to get the mail through those lines.

I know that I am just happy knowing that my wife is on the same continent now and that betters the chances of us seeing one another.  I know it sounds selfish, however, I have missed her so much that there were times that I felt like take a leave without permission and to hell with the consequences.  Oh yes, I do take my oaths to the Regent Lord seriously and my oath to the Horde seriously, however, there are limits as to how much I am going to give up when it comes to my family – I don’t see how keeping men away from their loved ones like this is going to keep the morale high enough to accomplish all of the things that we are supposed to be doing while we’re in Draenor.

I know that it is supposedly Spring somewhere in this Light Forsaken place, however, someone forget to let the calendar know about here in Frostfire Ridge.  When I woke up this morning, the stove in my little hut by the garden had gone out and I was freezing things that shouldn’t be frozen when I crawled out from under the furs.   I will admit that the coldness doesn’t seem to be affecting the garden, however, it does affect my Sindorei body a bit more than I would have thought sometimes.   I have to chuckle here because it could be from my age or something too, however, I don’t want to dwell on that too much either. One would have thought that it would stay warmer here in the cavern with the lava pool so close by, however, I know that the wind whips through here quite a bit sometimes in the wee hours of the morning.

I know I’m sitting here in the main hall just kind of grinning like a fool to myself about the fact that there might be a chance that I will be seeing Amyn soon.  It feels like a holiday that hasn’t happened yet and I know that I am just anxiously awaiting the meeting.  Just to see that smile of hers and those glowing eyes, it makes me almost tremble with delight.  I know she has missed me too if the words in her letter that hinted at such things that the two of us could do together when we are reunited.

Well, I don’t let Dawnglory know about Amyn’s getting here just yet because he is just being miserable with his separation from Romy, especially since he knows that she’s pregnant with his second child.  I never thought that the man would get that crazy about one woman and how much he would dote on his daughter, much less, just pining away for the arrival of his second child.    I just hope that he thinks a good long time before he does anything stupid, like just taking off and going back to Halfhill without proper leave credentials.  Sometimes I can control his emotions and sometimes I just have to walk away because he has stubborn streak that makes my own look like a passing phase.

So much for sitting here filling out paperwork, it’s time for me to get off my backside and get Pan moving so that we can take one of our many walks around the Garrison and head out to do some work of our own.  I know I won’t make it to the Valley today, however, there are some areas here in Frostfire that have peaked my interest of late with the influx of more ogres.

Fnor Morningstar

Hard Decisions…


April 26th

Dear Journal,

I think that I have finally made up my mind as to what I am going to do.  I am tired of sitting here in Stormwind and trying to cope with the business and trying to cope with being apart from Sindorei.  It is started to cause me quite a bit of trouble because my mind is constantly straying to the man that I love.

It has been months since the conflict started with Iron Horde on Draenor and it has been months since I have been able to see my Sindorei.  I know that everyone thought that the whole thing wouldn’t take a long time and that everyone would be able to come back home pretty quickly or at least be able to come home to see their families.   There are mages that are sending supplies and troops back forth to the areas there and there are some mages that are even sending people back home for a price.

I fear that what has happened is that the military has decided that they are going to keep men away from their families in order to finish what was started in Draenor these many months ago.  I can understand why everyone feels the responsibility of trying to ride this sort of thing out, however, those men that are constantly fighting need a time away from the battles and need to see their loved ones.  I know that I can’t be the only person that is feeling the yearning of not being able to see my husband and to know that the is okay too – we used to get leaves to come home in all of the other conflicts, why aren’t the people allowed to do so now?  Is it the cost of the magic or is there some other evil afoot that we are unable to step away from?

I have already made up my mind as to what I am going to do and should have acted upon it months ago.  Since my Sindorei is not able to make his way back to Azeroth for whatever reason, I am going to go to this Draenor to find him and have an opportunity to be with him.  We have always found a way to be together here on Azeroth, I don’t think that we will have that much trouble finding a way to do the same things in Draenor.  I say that enough is enough and I’m going to take matters in my own hands and rejoin my Sentinel group that I had taken a leave of absence before all of this conflict started again.

Magdamia will just have to get used to the idea of running things again and I am in hopes that she will get over her dislike of the way that things are setup in Shattrath and do the job professionally with Zippie.  I get along very well with Zippie and will have to admit that Magdamia can be rather biased in her feelings, she’s not overly fond of Worgen, however, she has learned to deal with them respectfully.  I know that her whole attitude needs to change with her dealings with goblins because she will have to do that quite a bit in Shattrath and she will have to get over her inability to accept the fact that Fnor and I are the owners of the company and we have been dealing with both factions for years.  Of course, we’re the odd couple because he is Sindorei and I am Kaldorei, our relationship was definitely one that could have been deadly in years past, however, in the open cities such as Shattrath and once upon a time, Dalaran, we were accepted to a certain point.

I know that I have made up my mind and will do what needs to be done even if I am torn with the thoughts of leaving my two youngest sons and my parents behind here in as well as Vashlan, although he is almost fully grown at this point and very much involved with his magic.   At least I will have a chance to see Kaldor and Kae when I get to Draenor and then, my true object of yearning thoughts, I’ll be able to track my Sindorei down.

Oh, how much can a woman miss her husband when she remembers every little thing that he does? The way he laughs, the sheer scent of the man that would fill my nostrils as we lay together in our bed.  I miss that long black hair trailing across my shoulders when he would lean in for a kiss or even to just nuzzle my neck affectionately.  I miss those tender endearing words in Thalassian that only he could whisper in my ear as he held me in his arms.  Yes, I miss all of those physical things, however, I truly miss that feeling that we shared together of being almost spiritually joined.  I feel like half of my being is missing when I am unable to reach out and touch his hand from time to time.

This Draenor thing has made it hard for me to feel that he and I are in the same plane of existence because we aren’t.  He’s off in some other time and place and I feel that void, that lack of connection is almost unbearable.  At least when I knew that he was in Azeroth somewhere, I could at least travel to where he was rather easily or he could travel to where I was without any trouble at all.  Now, things are different and I am almost afraid that all of these people that are in Draenor are actually cutoff from their loved ones and there is no way to guarantee that it won’t be permanent in some way.  When and if we finally all return to our own time and place, will we still have that connection like we have had in the past or is this feeling of complete separation going to linger on after we return?

Yes, I’ve made up my mind, I am going to turn everything over to Magdamia and I am going to go to Draenor to be with my son and his Father again.  It’s the only thing that I can think of doing that will bring us all back together again.  Yes, I will miss my sons that I leave behind here on Azeroth, however, I know that what I am planning on doing is something that I have to do to make sure that our family survives all of the things that I feel might be coming in the future.

I know that I keep writing that I’ve made up my mind as if I need to convince myself of it or something.  I think that the reason that I do that is because I need to convince myself that it is the right thing to do and that I won’t regret the sacrifices that the family will endure with my absence.  I have everything set up and everything is in place so that there shouldn’t be any difficulties for any of them.  We can still get in touch with one another with the mail because that seems to be running the way that it should for the most part, I’m just not sure how I am going to be able to get back here to Stormwind if the need arises, hopefully things have gotten better in Draenor and we will have the freedom to travel easier to obtain.

 

Amyn