More Worries and Concerns – Amyn’s Thoughts

November 30th

Dear Journal,

It’s been a few days since Kal and Fnor went back to Panderia and I will have to admit that the loneliness is the thing that is getting to me more and more each day.  Yes, I have my parents, Vashlan and the little guys here with me in Dalaran, however, it isn’t the same.  I know that I miss Kal and Fnor’s laughter and the way that the two of them could liven things up with just a word or gesture sometimes.  I miss them both.

I know that I have found out that some of our acquaintances have left the city.  I guess that Lali and Raleth have left because they felt uncomfortable here in the city with Lali’s being pregnant.  I know that the atmosphere itself in the city has changed and I’m not seeing as many of the Horde acquaintances that we had out in the streets as much. It’s rather disheartening.

I had always assumed that Dalaran was a neutral city and would remain so indefinitely.  The city itself is still a neutral area, however, the people living in the city are not feeling so inclined to mingle inter-faction as they once did.  I know that some of the shopkeepers are acting a little bit strange when I make purchases and charge them back to the Morningstar Enterprise account.  I know I had one little girl ask me if the company was owned by the Horde or not and I told her that it was and she made a face, which made me feel a bit awkward.  I did ask her if it would make her feel more comfortable if I opened another account under the name of Shadowmoon Enterprises because it was my own personal company and the other company was owned by my husband.  Naturally, she got all flustered and gave me my goods and I went on my merry way.

It’s instances such as these that are starting to make me realize that there is more than just a little undercurrent running through these streets of a city that my Sindorei loved more than his beloved Silvermoon City. I know that he has lived here for years and has always felt very comfortable with things even if the main bastion of the actual work for his firm was in Orgrimmar. Maybe he is right and we do need to start thinking about moving out of this beautiful city and heading back to our old haven in Shattrath.

I honestly don’t know what that will do to the little guys if we move back to the city that only gives them reminders of a very sad time.  I don’t know if my parents will want to uproot themselves again and head to a place that they have only visited once or twice in their lifetimes.  Of course, that would mean that Vashlan would either stay here in Dalaran to continue his studies or he would have to move back to Stormwind, which I have heard is even more hostile towards people of mixed heritage than they ever were before.  Of course, he still has his friends there, that I hope are really his friends and he could always stay at the apartment over the warehouse, it’s definitely large enough to accommodate quite a few people without feeling overcrowded.

I really need to talk to Fnor and find out what he really feels about this whole situation and also talk to his sisters that live here in Dalaran as well.  I mean I know that Felaran can take care of herself in any given situation, however, I do worry about Faendra sometimes because her temper can get the best of her sometimes, just like her brother’s can.  I know that Fnor just told me to keep my eyes and ears open to what was going on around the city to see if his feelings when he was here for the holidays were truly happening.   I guess I can say that they appear to be at this point.

I still haven’t had the opportunity to make my way to Feathermoon just yet to see what my old Commander wanted to discuss with me yet, however, that will be something that I will attend too in the next week.  I know that I am truly wondering what it is that she wants to discuss with me.  I hope that she isn’t going to try to talk me into coming back into the Sentinels in that area.  If I were ever to go back to the Sentinels at this point, it would be requested to be sent to Panderia. In my heart, I will always be a Sentinel, in my life, I will always be my Sindorei’s wife and mate.

I keep hearing all of these wonderful things about Panderia and I can’t help but be a bit more than envious of my husband and my son in their being able to see this wondrous place.  I know that I have all of these responsibilities here at home, however, there is the part of me that wants to go where everyone is enjoying a different country, a different kind of life.  I know there is a war going on, however, there was a war going on when Fnor and I met and we were able to manage to stay close together for the most part.  I want to be able to do that again.

I’ll write to Fnor and see what he wants me to do about the situation in Dalaran.  I wish our comlink worked in Panderia because I wouldn’t have to write a letter and have it smuggled to him.  I suppose that I could get Faendra to send one of the employees to find Fnor in Panderia, however, I don’t think that it’s that serous yet.

Yes, I’m concerned about the safety of the family here in Dalaran, yet, I don’t know how much of that is my own war hysteria that is starting to get a sharp stronghold in my mind.  I suppose that I should make sure that my parents can take care of things while I am gone and make a trip to Shattrath to see some of my old friends down there as well as checking on the property in Nagrand.  I would be more inclined to have the property in Nagrand enlarged enough to where the whole lot of us could just go there anyway – it’s off the beaten path and not many people will take the time to even go there to explore the area.

I suppose I ought to get up from desk and head to Stormwind to talk with Romey and some of the others to see if they are hearing any bad things in Stormwind.  I know the last time that I was there, all anyone wanted to talk about was Theramore.  Yes, it was a horrible thing that happened and it was uncalled for, however, it’s been a while and maybe the furor has died down.

Amyn

War Can Bring Sorrow And Pain

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author.

 

November 29th

Dear Journal,

I’m sitting here in my tent this morning with the worst hangover I’ve had in years.  Guess I needed to drown some of my sorrows a bit more than I should have.  Plus, I think I’ve almost been smoking non-stop since I opened my eyes.  At least I have some decent coffee today too, brought some of the coffee beans with me from Dalaran.

After spending some time in Halfhil last night, we all decided that we’d move a bit to the south to do some exploration of the area.  I wanted to make sure that my people would be safe from harm for some distance from this busy farming community and market place.  I remember how we would sometimes wait in the shadows and wait for our adversaries to leave a heavily populated area.

We ended up in Karasarang Wilds in a small camp of Tauren by the name of Thunder Cleft.  After spending some time talk with them, I was curious as to how they ended up out here in the middle of nowhere.  Apparently, they had taken their ships and destroyed them to make canoes and had traversed the river inland to this area due to a seer that was traveling with them that had a vision of this place.  The seer, Leza Dawnchaser was married to the Sunwalker Dezco, the Dawnchaser Chieftain.   I’ll admit that the camp was very well maintained and in an area that didn’t seem to be overrun with any vegetation and very typical Tauren.  I couldn’t help but notice that the Chieftain’s wife was very heavy with child and wondered at how they would have traveled this far with a lady in this delicate condition.   However, I know the Tauren well enough to know that a pregnancy will not keep them from their duty and it appears that Baine had sent them on this mission of exploration.

Of course we did share what supplies we had with us to help them make a fine meal so that we could all relax and visit for a while.  I wanted to talk to the Chief and find out his feelings for this war in this very far away land from his own people and mine.  It appears as though Baine is a much more thoughtful Chief to his people than Garrosh is to the rest of the Horde.  Of course, they felt that they had the blessings of the Earth Mother to guide them to this strange mist covered isle.

As we were talking, I couldn’t help but notice that Leza Dawnchaser was in some discomfort sitting there by the far and apparently so did her husband.  She went to lay down for a while with the promise that she would return and tell us a tale of the Tauren past. 

Naturally, I had a gut feeling that she wouldn’t be coming back to the fire to chat any longer that night because I just had the feeling that she was actually in labor and would soon be delivering her child.  I was right in that feeling, however, I had no idea the things that would happen that night.

The midwife/Innkeeper came to the Chief and told him that his wife was in labor and that she was not only extremely fatigued from the journey but she also need some medications to help with the delivery.  Naturally I volunteered the services of my Rangers and myself in gathering anything that they needed. I know that it seemed to be a lot of stuff and it took us a long time or maybe just the urgency added that stress that made it seem longer.  We gathered all that was needed and headed back into the camp and heard a woman give out a scream.   We quickly gave the midwife all of the items that she had requested so that she could assist the Chief’s wife. I have been around women delivering babies, but, this scream seemed more heartfelt and painful than any I’ve ever heard.  Poor woman was most assuredly suffering because I have never known a Tauren woman to cry out like that.

Apparently, this was a breach birth and the baby would not turn to come down the birth canal.  I know that the Chief was doing as much healing as he possibly could and the midwife was trying to get the little beast turned.  The poor Mother was being as strong as she could as well as doing all of the things that nature requires a woman to do when they are giving birth.

It was to no avail.  I was told to stand guard outside the tent and make sure that no one came near.  I would hear the Chief talking with his wife and reassuring her that things would be okay and I could feel the power that he was expending to heal her and the baby.  The poor midwife was working as hard as she could and told the Chief that there was nothing else that she could do – she might lose Leza and the baby.  I know that Light Walkers are as powerful as any Paladin can be and I could feel the power being spent in that small tent.  Poor Leza gave out one last mournful cry and the air grew silent.  The poor thing died, however, she did deliver two little twin calves .

There is something about a Tauren mourning a loss that just rips at my heart and soul.  The poor man was trying to be strong and not show his emotions, the women in the village were crying even as they prepared the body for burial swaddling.  The poor Chief walked over to his tent where the midwife had taken his two sons, yes, they were males and seemed to be perfect.  He told me that they were his sons and that they would honor their Mother all the days of their lives. It’s hard to see tears streaming down any man’s face, however, seeing a Tauren male weeping is probably the most gut wrenching thing that you can hear or see.

I asked him if there was anything that I could to help at this point.  This was a huge loss for the encampment, however, he told me that they had everything under control and the little calves would be well taken care of in the Tauren fashion.  I did offer to transport the younglings back to Thunderbluff if he so desired that.  He gave me a look that I won’t forget for  a while and took the answer to be “no”, not at this time.

My men were pretty well shaken, however, none of them were married and none of them had children.  I know it hit me rather hard because it brought back all of the memories of my own wife giving birth and the dangers that could have befallen her.   I can remember my ham-fisted efforts in helping her give birth to Vashlan, although she hissed and bit her lips, between the two of us, he was born.  The midwife showed up after he was born and helped clean up both Amyn and Vash when I stepped outside of the house and proceeded to hurl my stomach contents all over the ground.  I know that I wept with relief then that Amyn was alive ad that the baby seemed to be okay, even with the heritage mixing.  The midwife knew the circumstances and after crossing her palms with as much gold as I had in my money pouch, she left.  As she turned and left, she said something to me that I will never forget – she called Vashlan the devil’s spawn and that his life would be cursed because he was unnatural and an abomination.  I think now, that if I hadn’t of been there to deliver the child, the midwife would have killed him.

We all returned to Halfhil and went on to the Shrine of Two Moons to take our rest until this morning.  I was very happy that I was able to obtain a room for myself.  I needed to be alone for a while and I needed to let my emotions run their course.  It didn’t help that the bar was right across from my door and I know that the bartender looked at me rather oddly when I gathered up as much liquor as I could carry and went back to my room.  I know that I just sat there  and drank, wept, drank some more and thought that there had to be something that could have been done for the poor woman.

Amyn and I had  talked about having another child when I was home for the festivities and we have both agreed that this is not a good time to bring a baby into this world.  At least not into this world as we are seeing the changes that are taking place.  No, it wouldn’t be fair to either of us and it definitely wouldn’t be fair to the child.  We have four sons and should feel blessed with the Light and by Elune that we have been able to raise them in the manner that we have.  If Amyn had been with me last night, I think I would have spent my night sobbing in her arms because it hit me that hard.  I don’t ever want to lose my wife nor any of my children, it would make my life meaningless to continue on without them.

Oh, thank the Light.  My assistant just brought a potion from the healers and I should be able to function better in a little while.  I know that it will take me a long time to get the sorrow out of my heart and the harsh reminder that the things and the people that we love can be taken away without warning and very quickly.  I hope that Kal is going to be careful while he is here in Panderia, it would kill me if anything happened to him at the hands of the Horde.

Fnor Morningstar

Hey It’s a New Journal…

November 29th

Dear Journal,

Well, yes, I’ve decided that I can afford to buy a journal and start keeping track of things because you never know when you’re mind is going to start dropping things here and there.

I suppose that I should introduce myself to start with so that this makes a little bit of sense if someone happens to find it at some point.  My name is Hazey Smythe and I live in Under City with my sister Brianca.  We weren’t always dead, you know, we had lives once upon a time and looked like anyone else.  Now, well, I guess we’re dead although I don’t feel that way – just a bit more boney.

I guess that when the plague hit, it wiped out our entire family and we’re the only ones left that we are aware of.  No more little brothers, no more Ma and Pa, just us.  I know we’ve gone back to the farm and we didn’t see any signs of anyone else living there that hadn’t been munched on – one thing about being Forsaken, you never have to be hungry for long.

We’re still trying adjust to this new life and it’s a pain in the butt, if I had one, I’m sure that it would be hurting. One thing that I have to admit is that I do have a better looking set of boobs than I used to have, had them installed the other day, one is a tad bit smaller than the other one but you can’t expect perfection here in the labs, I suppose.

We have found ourselves a nice little corner to hold up in for a while.  No one seems to bother us and we were able to get some really decent coffins to sleep in.  I just had some new satin put in mine and picked up a not real holey wool blanket and a nice feather pillow from some fool that just happened to be asleep when I borrowed them.  Now, Bri has put some nice touches to our little place, she actually was able to sneak into Gilneas the other night and found a nice big rug to put on the floor, the stone can get a little chilly even to our boney feet.  One thing about it is that it’s real quiet – too quiet.  I suppose we do breathe because Brianca still snores sometimes and I have to smack her in the face to make her stop.  I have to be careful not to make her lose her nose though – she really got upset the last time that happened.

We really had a good time last week when the people were out running around like morons getting their feast supplies put together.  Yep, we were out there with the rest of them and eating like we had never had food in our lives.  We even got to go to places that we had never been – wish I could remember some of them, however, I took a shot in the head yesterday and it seems to have wiped out some of my more recent memories.

I know that we aren’t ones to sit around and bemoan the fact that our old lives are behind us and we have nothing left.  It gets real old real fast if you just sit on your haunches and think about it for very long.  I know that we were just thinking about the fact that we have no one to tell us what to do anymore – if we want to take a day off and just lay in our coffins reading a book or something, we can do that – well, unless we get tagged for some tasks that are unavoidable from the Lady herself.

Oh yes, we’ve heard all of the talk about this new land down south where the sun is warm, the game plentiful and there are funny looking bear people living there.  We’ve seen a couple of them here in the city and they do look like they would make for some good eating.  No, we didn’t try to bite any of the ones here, I think that wouldn’t be very hospitable on our part.  Maybe one of these days Bri and I will get a chance to get down there.  I know that all of the blood elves we’ve seen of late have been blabbing about the place and how wonderful it is except for the fact that the humidity messes up their fabulous hair.

Idiots to complain about a place because of their hair.  Oh well, we don’t have that problem, we just have to remember not to brush ours too hard because it comes out in handfuls as it is sometimes.  Same kind of things happens with the teeth too but we’ve found a way to replace those fairly easily.  I will have to admit that the Alliance must have the best dentists in the world, those people have the nicest teeth and usually a full set of them too.

I should say that Brianca and I are both freelance hunters and have tied up with a company in Dalaran, Morningstar Enterprises.  I’ve never met the big boss but our boss seems to be likeable enough for a blood elf.  All of that long blonde hair is kind of annoying but I suppose if I still had those feelings and parts, he’d be a real turn-on.   We just go out and get the skins that he needs and he pays us handsomely and on-time for them – that way we have some money in our purses rather than just the moths that I see some people carrying around.

Anyway, the pay is good and that’s why we’re looking around trying to find a little house for the two of us, maybe a couple of cats, just to make the place seem alive.   I suppose we could act like we’re farming a bit too, just to remind ourselves that we were people once.

Oh my, I do have to write about the fact that we saw Dranei female the other day.  No, we didn’t kill her because she was just trotting down the road.  Now, you can say what you want about the Forsaken but those Dranei are built wrong.  Their legs look like they were taken from some other species and put on wrong – they just look they bend wrong or something.  I know Bri and I just stood there with our jaws hanging open when the girl ran by.  She had a tail too, a really big tail that looked like she could use it for a weapon – I bet they do.

Oh well, it’s time for us to roll out of our coffins and get busy or we won’t be able to buy that farm in the near future.  Hope no glue-gloved idiot steals our stuff while we’re out, we’d be real upset if our coffins were gone.

Hazey Smythe

 

 

 

 

Panderia Adventures

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author.

 

November 28th

Dear Journal,

I will have to admit that it was nice getting back with the troops and back to the daily grind that happens to be something you get used too.  I did love being home with the family but I could also feel the mantle being lifted from shoulders once I stepped through the portal to Orgrimmar and then on to Panderia. 

I dearly love my wife and children, however, sometimes it is best that I be away from them and out on my own.  I can compartmentalize my feelings, worries and concerns with what they are doing and get back to something that I have some semblance of control over.  My troops know what to expect from me and they damned well understand what I want from them, no middle ground given.

The first thing I had to do when I got back to Panderia was promptly take some disciplinary action with some of the younger Rangers.  No, you do not have the time to go sit in an Inn all night and then report back to duty somewhat less than sober.  I’m sure that they are going to give that some thought when they are out there picking up fertilizer left behind by the Horde troops as they make their way through the countryside.

 I know that I have never worked this closely with Orcs, however, I don’t think that it is going to rank up there with one of the more pleasant things I’ve had to deal with.  Do they ever use a latrine or take a shower?   I’m not real sure that they even know what that is anymore.  Why does Silvermoon’s finest have to go behind these barbarians and “clean-up” is beyond my perception, do they not understand that you leave the land the way that you found it so  that your troop movements are not so damned easily tracked?

We’ve finally started roaming a little further afield since I got back from Dalaran.  A group of us, six in all,  actually found our way to a farming community that seems to be flourishing and is a neutral zone, it appears.

 Yes, I did see Kal out there stripped down to just his pants working a field like any peasant – I am assuming that it is the little farm that he was talking about.  We saw each other and I’ll admit that I was pleased to see him, however, there was some Kaldorei girl out there working in the field with him.  I’ll have to talk to him and find out what in the heck is going on.  I thought he was still sweet on that little girl in Stormwind – supposedly they were going to get together a bit before he came back up here.  Who knows what is going on at this point.  I just found it odd that this other woman was there with him. 

I know some of the people I was with were rather astonished when Kal waved and started walking towards us.  I took the lead and walked towards him and we talked briefly – I could hear the men behind me making some comments – they had no clue that this Kaldorei was my son.  They don’t need to know that information anyway.  Kal said that he had seen Josie in Dalaran before he left and that he would be home for Winter Veil.  I’m sure we’ll have more time to talk since I fully intend on taking advantage of doing some farm work here too – it’s got to be better than the rations the Horde has been having us to live on in addition to any game that we killed.

I will admit that the food here is some of the best that I have ever tasted in my life.  There has to be something in this land that makes everything seem so “good” and the vegetables seem to grow to enormous sizes.  I know that one of these turnips could feed four men very easily.   I might just make it mandatory that each of my troops starts doing some gardening and supplementing our rations  – might make for some interesting times and possibly some fence mending between the factions.

I am looking forward to the day when Amyn can join me up here.  I know that we will find a peaceful place where we can stay.  Yes, I do miss her and I would like for us to be together.

I am still very uncomfortable with the way that things appear to be heading in Dalaran.  There is something just not right there and I don’t know if it all has to do with the Theramore debacle or if there is something else going on.  I just have a feeling that the Horde may not be as welcome in the city as they once were since it seems that most of the citizenry are definitely Alliance.  I would say there are at least five Alliance to one Horde at this point.  Not too many of the Horde owned businesses that are open to the general public seem to be doing all that well at the moment.  That’s just a personal observation on my part and I may be wrong.  I’ll have Faendra keep an eye out and do some checking around.

I will have to agree with Kal though.  The fishing and the hunting up here is like it used to be in the old days before we started overcrowding ourselves in Kalimdor and the Eastern Kingdoms.    Yes, I do slip off to myself and do some of the things that I like to do on my own. 

I guess that Dawnglory will be rejoining the troop by the end of the week.    He will get a kick out this Halfhil area because there is brew master here that makes some of the best beer that I have ever had in my life and I’ve tasted some pretty good dwarven fare in my time.  I also hope that he hasn’t gotten stupid and taken my baby sister to bed or something like that – the man is such whoredog sometimes that it truly worries me.  

As my lovely wife told me – “Fnor, there is nothing that you can to stop normal events happening and your sister is a grown woman, even by Sindorei standards.  If she chooses to bed Dawnglory, it’s her business and not yours.”  It’s just kind of hard to face the fact that Faendra is all grown-up and should be able to make her own choices.   Dawnglory is my friend and business partner – this could be a very sticky situation.

I am getting some strange looks from the men here and I guess that means that they are wondering about their Commander sitting in his tent and writing in a journal.   Who knows, some of them may have figured out the relationship between Kal and I.

Fnor Morningstar

Changes – Getting Used to Things – Starting to Enjoy Life Again

 

November 28th

Journal,

Well, I haven’t had the time nor the inclination to write in this journal for a while because I’m still trying to adapt to this new lifestyle here in Darnassus.  Yes, it’s definitely a huge difference from my life in Gilneas, however, it’s something that I have no other choice except to adapt to it.  At least the Night Elves gave us all refuge here in their homeland which is more than I could say that was offered by some of the other races of the Alliance.

I think that we’re more tolerated in Stormwind than we are accepted.  Yes, I did get out and do some adventuring to see the world a bit while I have the chance, plus, I’m alone and it helped to pass the time a bit for me.  I still haven’t found any signs of my wife and daughters yet, nor my parents.  I guess that I should get used to the idea that my family is gone and I may never know what happened to them.  It still doesn’t mean that I won’t continue to search for them and still miss them more than I ever did.

I think that I am getting used to living in Darnassus most of the time now.  It’s a bit strange with all of the Night Elves and such and their traditions.  I do go and visit with my own kind, however, I do have to kind of smile to myself because I never knew there were so many nobles in Gilneas before I arrived in Darnassus.  I won’t ever say anything because if it’s something that makes them happy, so be it.

I will have to admit that I did enjoy the holiday last week.  I did over-eat and probably had more than enough to drink but I did meet up with a few new people and we all enjoyed the festivities together.  I met a young lady by the name of Felicity Fitzpatrick – she has a nickname that is kind of cute – Felley.  Anyway, we spent quite a bit of time together chasing those turkeys down together and she’s a damned good shot. I had to laugh when she asked me what pack I was in and if I was an Alpha though – never have quite figured that out.  So, I just told her that I ran alone most of the time.  I guess that she hasn’t found a proper Pack to run with either, so, I did tell her that she was welcome to run with me now and again.  I didn’t want to make any more serious overtures than that at this point because it might be a bit awkward if I do happen to find my wife again.

I will have to admit that she has a very nice human form – long red hair and very blue eyes.  She kind of reminds me of my wife a bit, however, I don’t think that  was as aggressive when I took her hunting.  I’m still getting used to people just running around in their wolf form when they are in the cities – I always consider it kind of rude, however, to each his own.  I like to take my human form when I am around people and save the wolf for when I’m out in the field – seems more fitting somehow.

I guess I will always miss Gilneas though.  I miss the countryside, my old friends and acquaintances.  One thing I do miss is taking my afternoon tea with my wife in the front yard of our house, just sitting under the trees and talking.  My, we could talk longer than it took us time to drink our tea and eat the little scones that she would have made that morning.  It was a lovely time.  I also miss watching my daughters try to act all grown up, balancing their plates and trying to sip their tea without making a mess of it.  Yes, those were good times.

One thing I have started doing is trying to get back to Darnassus for tea sometimes and it seems that Felley likes to do the same thing too.  I think that we might become friends over time and will enjoy one another’s company since it seems that we are pretty much alone and separated from the people that we knew at home.   I do think that she was in a higher social strata than I was at home, however, she doesn’t act all “noble” and stuff.  If I make a social error, she’s not all appalled at my actions – she just accepts me for who and what I am.

Well, I know that this isn’t getting any more coin in my pockets by sitting here and just letting my mind wonder around.  I need to get off my haunches and get back to work if I ever want to figure out what I am going to do with my life.  Can’t say that I plan on living forever in Darnassus, I’d like to have a little house of my own again and be able to have a place of my own.  I miss that.

Oak

 

 

Meeting An Old Friend in Dalaran

 

November 27th

Dear Journal,

I finally got to spend some quality time with Josie last night in Dalaran.  I would have happily met her in Stormwind but she says that with the political unrest there these days that it might not be safe for someone of my heritage.  Anyway, we met at the Inn and sat in the beer garden to talk for a long time.

I know that I wanted to explain to her that Stormwind has never been all that hospitable to someone like me before and it was going to be rather doubtful that things would be any different now anyway.  Sure, some of the people might be a bit more rabid in the likes and dislikes of the other races because they are still being fueled by the things that happened at Theramore.  Oh well, I still have to pass through the area to get back to the portal to Panderia anyway, I’ll slow down and see if I see anything that is going to interfere with my travels through there.

Jose looked absolutely beautiful last night.  The gown she had chosen to wear fit her perfectly and she just looked like she had stepped out of a dress shop to model it for everyone.  It had been so long since I had seen her the last time that I had almost forgotten exactly how pretty she really was.  The way she looked last night just made me feel very proud to be seen with her.  I always feel a bit awkward when I am with her because I know that I am so much larger than she is to start with physically but I’m not sure what she looks like as a worgen, I’ve never seen it. I just know that she has the Curse.

Sure, I’ve seen quite a few worgen in Panderia in their wolf form and a few that have been in their human form but I’ve never actually seen someone go through the transition from human to wolf and back again.  It must be something that they do privately or can they really control that part of it?  I know I should do a little more research on this to find out because it would be rather rude to just to walk up to someone and ask them about it, there has to be something written down somewhere.  At least I know that they can control themselves very well in battle and the aftermath.

We finally got to talk about a few things and I did get to clarify that she and Harrier aren’t an item.  I had deliberately stayed away from her there for a while because I didn’t want to cause her any trouble with the people that she works for.  Seems that Harrier has the hots  for Marjolaine, which wasn’t all that surprising considering that that is how it seemed to me to start with.  He still seemed like he was rather possessive of Josie as well.  From what she said last night, it seems like he isn’t even acting like a friend to her now, which I find equally disturbing.  I know that she depended on him for a lot of things and it appears as though that avenue is no longer available to her. She even kind of intimated to me that he was mean to her.  I hope she doesn’t mean physically mean because I might have to get involved in that because I don’t think that any real man could or would be abusive to a woman. Sure, a fellow can say mean things and hurt someone’s feelings, however, they don’t have to get physical about it.

I guess that the shop is real busy these days with Winter Veil coming up and people are out shopping and buying their gifts.  I guess that everyone needs watches so that they can act like they are paying attention to the time.  I don’t even own a watch, can’t see the need for it because I can usually tell the time by where the sun is located in the sky or at night, the light of the moons and where they are located helps me to tell the time pretty well. I bet they sell a lot of those little clockwork toys they used to have in the windows – the statues and such.

 I know that I have been working on a few things in Panderia, things that I can craft myself.  I wish I knew if Josie liked leather goods, if she does, I could probably make her a few things. I know I could make her some decent boots while she is in her human form that would look nice – the leather in Panderia is phenomenal.

I know that we both just enjoyed being able to talk to one another last night.  It’s been a while since we have been together alone and had that opportunity.  I thought that she was still angry at how Dawnglory acted when we were having dinner with the family the last time.  She was just getting to meet my family and Dawnglory just happened to be drinking more than he should and he was very insulting to her – that’s what I think anyway about his comments about worgen and such.  I still can’t believe that he sent me a can of flea powder in the mail just in case I was going to see Josie again. 

We talked about how things were going with her at the shop and how things were going with Pup, the little homeless waif that she picked up and took under her wing to raise.  I wonder if he is a worgen too?  I would think with the nickname that it’s a high probability that he is.

I did tell her that if Harrier was being such a nasty person that she could always use the apartment at the warehouse in Stormwind to stay in for a while.  I even offered her my room there so that she would be able to go there and actually have enough room for Pup to go with her if she ever decided to do that.

I don’t know exactly why I offered that place to her, it’s not like I was proposing or anything.  I just wanted her to know that she and Pup didn’t have to be unhappy with where they were living and if they wanted to escape for a while, they could.  I know that my Mother wouldn’t mind Jose and Pup using the place.  I don’t think Mom stays there very often these days because she’s always there to check on how things are going with the business, not everyone has taken off for Panderia just yet and we still have plenty of employees from what she said.

I will admit that I do miss working for my parents sometimes but I am learning so much more in Panderia.  I’m even a passable farmer. I’m saving up for a little house now and that is going to be rather nice to have if I am stationed there for a long period of time, which it looks like this war could last for quite a while.   Of course, that might mean that I am planning on staying in Panderia even after the conflict settles down, I haven’t really decided anything permanent yet.  I’m just enjoying being able to have a little place that I can call my own and I do really like farming – that must be from my Grandmother because she is constantly working in her little garden in Dalaran these days and says that it makes her feel closer to Elune and nature.

One thing I will have to admit to disliking in Panderia and that is the Hozen.  Okay, I know that they are grieving the Panderian and it’s our job to go out there and clean the area up by chasing the Hozen down.  The reason I don’t like them is that they steal your pants, yes, just your pants.  You’re standing there in the altogether sans trousers.  I don’t know about any of the other fellows but there’s just something wrong with fighting someone in just your loin cloth from the waist down – you’re kind of exposed.  You fight with the Hozen and get your breeches back, however, there is a certain loss of personal dignity in the process, don’t you think?

Oh, I did tell Josie that I would be taking some more leave during Christmas Veil and I’d like to see her again.  We’ve both promised to write to one another and that way we can at least keep in touch more than we have been.  I’m not worried about Harrier getting upset with her for seeing me either because it’s none of his business, he’s just being a cranky fellow.  I’ve also invited her to come to Panderia to see the farm and by the time she gets here, I should have my little house built.

No, I didn’t mention anything about Kae being at the farm with me either.  I didn’t know how Josie would take that bit of news.  It’s not like Kae and I are sleeping together or anything, although we do.  We just don’t have sex and it’s strictly a friendship at the moment and I’ll admit that the body heat isn’t all that bad on these chilly nights. Kae knows about Josie though and she knows that I am going to be seeing her again, her only reaction was a grin and a wink before she pushed me in the pond where we were fishing.  Damn, that water was cold too!  I suppose that I will have to tell Josie about my living arrangements before she comes up here, it wouldn’t be too great to spring that sort of thing on her.  I mean “Hi honey, this is my roommate, we sleep together in the same bed but we’re just friends.”  Somehow I don’t think that would go over very well.

I did see Josie back to the portal for Stormwind and just followed her shortly thereafter.  There was no reason for me to stay in Dalaran another night, my bags were packed and I could go back to Panderia either last night or come back this morning.  I opted to get back last night so I could check out the farm and see what kind of orders I have waiting for me.  Hope it’s not dealing with more Hozen.

Kal

I Will Go Too…

 

November 26th

Dear Journal,

I will have to say that I was more than a little bit sad that my husband had to leave this morning but we both knew the day was coming; it doesn’t make it any easier to handle.  I would have liked to have been able to see him step through the portal and disappear from my view and know that he would be in Orgrimmar and then onto Panderia.  Unfortunately, the Horde won’t allow a wife from the Alliance say good bye to her husband that way – they rather frown on it.  Oh well, we did get to stand on the sidewalk and hold one another for a few more minutes before he went down the hill and off to his adventures.

This was a wonderful Holiday for the family.  I think that Kal and Fnor have finally come to an understanding of sorts.  At least Fnor is accepting his son as a man now, not just some kid, which has taken a load off of my mind.  It will take some time for him to do the same thing with Vash though because Vash is the dreamer and the mage.  Fnor can grasp the concept of another hunter, however, he’s still trying to accept the fact that one of his sons happens to be more inclined to magic. It was just nice to see the two “men” talking as equals and sharing ideas as they should – Father and Son.

Yes, I shed my tears away from Fnor’s sight.  I didn’t want him to remember me with tears streaming down my face like some weak female.  I really didn’t want him to go back to Panderia just yet but I knew that he has to fulfill his duty to the Horde and his Rangers.  He has always done so and always will be that way because that is the type of man that he is.

I know that the walk back to the house alone this morning seemed to take forever because I didn’t want to go back to our bedroom, see his robe lying on the bed, his armor stand empty again.  I wanted desperately to go with him this morning, yes, leave the youngsters here.  I wanted to go adventuring with my man like we have done so many times in the past.  He has promised me that he will come back soon and we will slip off alone and go to Feralas alone.

I know my Mother looked at me and seemed to understand some of the pain that I was going through this morning because she has done the same thing with my own Father so many times in the past.  She can understand the pain that I am going through.  She was happy when I joined the Sentinels because she thought it was less likely that I would ever marry and wouldn’t have to go through this kind of thing because of a man.  Little did she know that the Fates had other things in store for me in the form of a Sindorei Ranger.

I realize that as a Sentinel, I shouldn’t allow these emotions to wash through me like this but I am also a woman.  The female part of me aches to have my husband back in my arms again.  Silly thing!

 I didn’t tell Fnor but I have heard from my old Commander and she wants me to come back to Feathermoon for a while.  It wasn’t exactly an order, however, I have a feeling that they are running a bit shorthanded with some of the younger women heading to Panderia.  I want to go to Panderia too. She knows that I have children to care for, so, it must be important for her to want me to come there.  I’ll make the arrangement in a few days and go there to see what it is that she really wants.

I guess that Kal is going to see his little girl from Stormwind on his way back to Panderia.  I know that she seems nice enough and he cares about her, however, I’m not sure that he is ready to settle down just yet and I hope that he doesn’t let his libido get the best of him.  He also told me about his best friend in Panderia.  I hope he realizes that Kaldorei women tend to be a bit possessive of their men. 

Yes, I did ask him if he has taken either of these women to bed or not.  Of course, that embarrassed him but as his Mother, I do have a right to know these things.  I guess he hasn’t gotten intimate with either one of them although I have a feeling that eventually something will happen. He’s a normal young male and he has his needs, which I did remind him that women have those same needs as well – which kind of shocked him, I guess.  I think it was only because his Mother said it. 

I will admit that when I was seeing Fnor off this morning that I felt like the air in Dalaran was a bit colder than usual.  I think that Winter is upon us and soon we’ll see the snows fall in Stormwind.  I need to get to the office there and make sure that Romey has everything under control.  Maybe I’ll take Vashlan for a visit and he can go wander through the stacks of books at the library and visit some of his friends.

I feel kind of lost today, I can see Fnor’s robe on the bed and I will have to admit that I held in my arms and cried like a child – the smell of him was there, I could almost make believe that he was in the bathroom bathing and would be stepping out any minute.  Why do I have to be left behind this time?

We did talk about Dalaran and he has some concerns about our continuing to live here.  There hasn’t been any trouble that I am aware of, however, I’m sure there is an undercurrent going on with the political differences being forced to the front again.  I haven’t even had a chance to see Lali in a long time and I am sure that she is getting rather large with her baby by now – I wish I could say the same, however, it seems Elune has passed me over again for another baby.

Oh well, before I get any more depressed, I should get busy and see what the rest of the household is doing.  No, I am not going to allow us all to mourn for the men that have left us here, yet again.  I need to get the little ones kicked back up to their studies because they took some time off from that with their Step-Father being home and their Big Brother.

Amyn