Talking with Makota…maybe a trip to Dalaran someday


July 31st

Dear Journal,

I was sitting out by the bonfire this evening as is my usual place to read away from the family and I saw Makota walk up.  I know that I was smiling and had a bit of a chuckle because she was afraid that she had missed Story Circle.  I think that she was embarrassed a bit when I told her that Story Circle was yesterday.  I know it happens, I sometimes lose track of all time when I am studying and working all of the time.  Maybe we will be able to go to Story Circle next week when they have it again.  I don’t even think that my Mom made it to the Circle this weekend either because she usually has some of the tales that she likes to share with us at dinner.

I know that I am always nervous when I am talking to Makota and the only thing I don’t do is to shut up like one of those clams when she is around.  When I get around a crowd of people, I can barely speak for fear that I will say something wrong or someone will notice that I am being too quiet.  I guess you could say that I am shy around others.  I’m confident in myself with my work and what I believe, however, simple conversations can sometimes just leave my mind spinning.

We sat there and talked for a very long time last night, much longer than I thought we had until I noticed the stars.  Of course, the bonfire had been lit and the prayers said as they are every night.  It always brings me a sense of peace when I sit there and watch it.  It also lets me know that the day has ended and it’s time to prepare for the next day when the sun rises.

I did ask Makota about her elf friend, Lali because I was still concerned about her.  She had seemed ill when her mate showed up and made one of those portal things to take her back to Dalaran.   Portals still scare me a little bit because it’s always a nervous time, that stepping into the nothingness and coming out miles from where you started out.  What if something were to go wrong?  Would your spirit be guided home by the Earth Mother or would you wonder around in some kind of vacant exile forever?  Oh, that’s a scary thought.

I suggested to Makota that she ought to write to Lali to see if she was okay and I also told her what my thoughts were on the illness.  I mean, they are elves and I am sure that they do things to make babies happen.  Maybe she is pregnant?  I’ve seen some of the women here in the bluff start acting strangely and they usually end up announcing that they are going to have a child shortly thereafter.  I bet that’s what it is.  I bet the elf girl is pregnant.

We were both kind of joking with one another about taking the adventure on of going to Dalaran together.  Of course, I’d have to bring my Mother along and she would have to bring Ahali so that people wouldn’t think we were doing something that we shouldn’t.  I bet my Mom and Ahali would like each other because they are old and they could be grumpy together.  Of course, Makota has been to Dalaran before, I’ve never been.  I guess there aren’t that many Tauren up there in that city but I am curious about the gnomes and things that seem to wander around. 

I bet my Mom would like to take a trip like that.  She hasn’t been away from Thunder Bluff all that much and the only time that I know she has gone to Dalaran was when she went to that trial there that was supposed to be in Orgrimmar.  She said it was a beautiful city; however, she was too afraid that she would get lost and would miss the trial and be in trouble for not doing her civic duty as a juror, so, she didn’t explore anything.  She didn’t even get any of those cakes while she was up there either.

I know there is a zeppelin that goes to Northrend in Orgrimmar and we could take that and I suppose someone could tell us how to get to Dalaran from there.   Ah yes, Nahai told me there is a fort called Warsong there and there was a flight path that we could take to Dalaran, he’s the one that has traveled almost as much as Naton.  Well, I’ll have to give it some more thought and I can talk to Makota about it again.  She said she was going to write to Lali and we can wait to hear back from her.  I do hope its good news and that the elf isn’t sick, she seemed like such a nice girl and I think she is Makota’s best friend.

I did ride part of the way back to Makota and Ahali’s camp with her last night.  I thought that it was the only thing to do.  I know my brother, Naton, had seen us leave because he was working at the forge and was giving me some ribbing about it when I got home.  However, my Mom said that I did the right thing by making sure that my friend made it home safe.  

Oh well, I should get busy and go help at the smithy a bit.  I did get the ore that Naton had asked for and I am sure that he will have some new things to show me.  I enjoy standing there and talking to him as he works sometimes because he tells me some of the more interesting things about being a Death Knight, not all the bad things that he’s had to do. 

 

Tahfal Cloudhoof

 

 

Just Some Notes and A Letter To Josie


July 30th

Dear Journal,

I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised at the fact that it has been weeks since I have heard from Josie.  She said that she wanted to come back to Dalaran for a visit and I believed her.  Something must have happened to change her mind or something because I haven’t heard a word from her.  I haven’t really heard a word from her since we met on the pier and Harrier was there making his usually insults and so on.  I know I behaved badly when I walked away from it all, however, I was taught that I should respect my elders and not be impolite even if they were acting in a manner that wasn’t respectful of me.  Oh well, guess she was upset that I left, I don’t know.

I know that I have been busy lately and haven’t had time to even go over in the vicinity of the shop here in Stormwind.  I did used to walk by occasionally in hopes that she would be outside taking a break or something but that never happened.  If I had my wits about me, I would just chalk it up to an experience and forget about it; however, I did like her a lot and still do.

It has gotten to be a habit of mine lately of going to Iron Forge every weekend with the Bitterbeers and just sitting there while everyone else gets absolutely silly drunk.  I learned my lesson the last time that I went with them and go so drunk that it took me almost three days to feel normal again.  I might drink enough to get a little buzz going, you know, where your nose tingles and your ears start feeling warm which is the time that I just know it’s time for me to stop hoisting the flagon. I’ve met a few interesting people during the visits there and a few of the women have taken to me or my habit of buying them a beer every now and again. 

Of course, when it gets to be too noisy and warm in the tavern, I usually make my way to the Wailing Caverns and just sit there and watch the little murloc put on his top hat and give his little show every few minutes.  Little fellow definitely enjoys his dancing and I do too.  I’ll have to bring Vashlan up here sometime so he can get a laugh at that because I know he’d like it too.  It’s a little thing but it’s still amusing. 

I’ve actually been so busy working that I haven’t even had a chance to run into anyone else that I know in Stormwind.  Guess we’re all real busy or we’re all voiding one another, I don’t know.  I know that the business is keeping me hoping and I do have a lot more contracts to fill than anyone else that works here. 

I guess I ought to give it one more try and write to Josie and send some more flowers to her to see if I get any kind of response and if I don’t get one, that will be the end of that.  I really thought she liked me for myself too, guess I was wrong and it won’t be the first time. 

Kaldor

 

 

 

*************************************************************************************

Dear Josie,

I had hoped to hear from you some time ago and still haven’t.  The invitation to Dalaran is still very much open and I am sure that my parents would still like to meet you although it’s been weeks since we have seen one another.  They always like to meet my friends.

I hope that things are going well for you and your job.  I am assuming that your employers are keeping you rather busy and that’s one of the reasons that I haven’t heard from you at all. 

I hope that you liked the flowers that I have been sending to you from time to time because I haven’t even gotten a thank you note or anything from you.  If you’d rather not see me, please let me know and I will stop writing or sending flowers because it must be embarrassing for you if your feelings aren’t the same as mine.

 

Kaldor Shadowmoon

 

Aftermath


Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author 

 

July 29th

Dear Journal,

I will have to admit that it feels wonderful to be able to sit at my desk this morning and just lounging around in my robes instead of having something stressing me completely out of my mind.  The coffee tastes better than it ever has.  Yes, I’m still smoking but not nearly like I was for a while.  At least I can sit here and just look at the mountain of paperwork and know that I will get it caught up one of these days.

After the debacle in Silvermoon, it just feels wonderful to be able to sit here in Dalaran and let the rest of the world run by for a while.  I didn’t realize how exhausted I was until Amyn and I got back to Dalaran last night. 

I had hoped that we would have been able to take a few days off and spend some time in Nagrand like we had planned after the wedding, however, under the circumstances; it doesn’t seem feasible at this juncture.  Normally I would have gotten in touch with Dawnglory and had him take over the reins of the company while I took some time off, however, at this point; he has his hands full with his sister.

The healers seem to think that Felessa will recover from this kidnapping, possession and emotional trauma in time.  She’s been able to eat and drink some fluids which were something that she had been missing the entire time that she was gone.  She was tiny before; however, she is mere shadow of her former self due to the abuse from Angel.   She has started talking again, apparently, which was something that I was happy to hear about.  Her memory of the events seems to be rather sketchy and she doesn’t remember leaving Silvermoon with Angel at all.  She actually doesn’t remember much of anything until just after the wedding she performed for Amyn and me.  It’s as if Angel never existed in her mind, which is probably a good thing for all parties concerned.  Dawnglory seems to think that she may remember it eventually; however, he isn’t going to try to make her remember all of the horrible things that happened.  He will be staying in Silvermoon with her until she is able to travel and will be bringing her to Dalaran to live for a while until she is fully recovered because we can keep her sheltered from things here more readily.

If I have learned one thing from this whole experience is that I can’t do everything alone, nor can I depend on myself to be objective about things when it comes to my family.  Another thing that I have learned is that your past, no matter how many years ago, will always find a way to come back and haunt you.  This thing with Angel was totally unexpected and nothing that I would have ever dreamed of happening.  It was a nightmare from the past that came back into my reality that could have very easily destroyed my family, myself and cut me off from those that I love.  Karma can be a bitch and I am here to testify to that fact.

I have learned how to respect my wonderful wife in another way.  I never thought that she would be as capable as she was with the situation that we just went through.  To say that I am proud of her is to say something that can’t be put into words appropriately.  Her group of Kaldorei and Humans from Stormwind moved together like a group of well trained Rangers when the time came for them to go into action.  I couldn’t believe how coordinated the whole operation went with her group.  I think I am just amazed.  Of course, I’m a bit biased when it comes to the Rangers because that is what I know the best, however, I’ve found a whole new respect for the Sentinel in my house.

As we lay in our bed last night, just holding each other, I know that there was a sense of finality to everything and we both smiled at each other as if to say “Well, we survived another one.”  I know we just lay there and talked for a while before we both fell asleep.  We both have agreed that unless something comes through the door and stirs up the bee’s nest, we’re just going to let it pass us by because we’re just normal folk and we’re not here to save the world.  Neither one of us had any idea that something like this would or could happen, never in a million years nor do I think Amyn will eventually forgive me for all of my transgressions in the past if they don’t come up and bites us in the backside like this one did. 

Yes, we’re going to be busy with the children that we already have for many years to come.  Life will never be dull with four boys running around.  My little stepsons are quite the handful and we will be bringing them back to Dalaran in the very near future because they need to be with their parents.  I think Amyn’s parents probably need the break too.  They have been visiting with them since before the wedding and we were planning on bringing them back after our honeymoon that got interrupted.

 I kind of miss them because they definitely have taught me a few things like always be patient and to expect the unexpected when it comes to them.  Who’d have thought that being a parent is almost a full time job?  I don’t know how Amyn does it but I think I’ll be learning a lot more.  Kaldor and Vashlan seem to be taking things in stride and I am very happy that they missed out on all of this crap in Silvermoon because they were safely in Stormwind.   Amyn did the right thing in keeping them isolated from this particular ordeal, they didn’t need to get involved in a mess that their Father inadvertently created before they even knew about him.

Oh, I could sit here for days and write about the things that I have done wrong in my life.  However, I think that I have learned from my mistakes and will not be repeating them in the future.  I’ll admit that when I make an error, it’s usually not a small one by any means.

I am going to have to sit here and think about the fact that my sister and my best friend may become more involved than I had wanted them to be.  It was almost inevitable because of the fact that Dawnglory has known Faendra for most of her life and his sister has been Fae’s best friend for years.  Who knows how this will all turn out?  They may just have a fling or they may get serious about one another.  I just don’t want either one of them to get hurt if things go amiss. 

Yes, I was selfish and I did want more for Fae, I wanted her to have the things that I never had the opportunity to have in Silvermoon, however, I’ve finally realized that Silvermoon isn’t the world and it isn’t the way that Azeroth operates.  She needs to make her own choices and her own mistakes because I can sit here and tell her about my mistakes – she may take heed to my sage advice and experiences, however, she has to make her own way. 

As for Dawnglory and the problems that came up with this mess.  It is going to take some time to repair the damage in our friendship because I made some very serious mistakes that could have cost him his sister and his life.  I had no right to keep the information from him to start with.  We have always had a close relationship and I think, in my mind, maybe I was trying to protect them all.  Instead of protecting them, my sister included, I exposed them to some very serious dangers. It’s just going to take some time and a real big hope that Felessa is going to be okay and back to normal soon.

I also have some concerns about the animated body that I would have thought would have disintegrated immediately when the power source was killed.  I know that I just stood there and looked at the body and wondered if we should burn it, destroy it or what we should do with it.  It still had a pulse, she was just unconscious and possibly in a coma.  Brain functions?  Who knows for certain what may happen if she ever wakes up.  I have left the body in Silvermoon with the healers and if they can ascertain what we can do.  Is this body going to function as a normal person or will it just suddenly stop existing?  No one seems to know at this point and I will just have to wait and see with them.  Part of me wanted to destroy it and a part of me is just curious enough to want to see what happens.  I’m sure that there are ways that the healers can ease someone into death if it continues to “live” like it is now.  I know that it’s not my responsibility to take care of this being, it’s not the woman I loved many years ago, and it just resembles her in a fashion.  However, I do have to think about the fact that there could still be some residual evil lurking within that body too.  Does it still have a soul?   So many unanswered questions and there may never be any answers now or in the future.  Just another thing that I have to add to my list to think about as time goes on.

I will have to admit that it felt great to be able to stretch out in bed last night with my wife in my arms and know that I didn’t have some kind of lingering threat hanging over my head like I have had for the past few weeks.  It was a relief and I was able to feel relaxed and so very contented.  Yes, I still have concerns about Felessa making a full recovery and I have to work at repairing my friendship with Dawnglory as much as I can.

Amyn was laughing last night as we lay there, thinking that it was time for me to don my disguise again and pay a surprise visit on my sons in Stormwind to make sure that they are keeping their guard up against strange old dirty elves wandering near the warehouse.  I know I’m a fairly large Sindorei in height and weight; however, I do make a marvelous wizened old Kaldorei when I have to go that route.  We shall see what happens.

I do need to spend some more time with the boys before they completely outgrow their Father.  I know that I am amazed at the fact that I have to look up at my eldest son because he’s grown so much in the last few months. Kal has to be at least a foot taller than I am at this point, if not more.  Vashlan is going to be a small fellow I’m afraid, although that wouldn’t be too bad for a mage, I suppose.  I don’t think that they are having too much trouble in Stormwind due to their mixed heritage or Amyn hasn’t mentioned it to me for some reason.  She gets quiet sometimes when we talk about the fact that the boys have several strikes against them with their mixed heritage. They definitely look more Kaldorei than Sindorei though.

Oh yes, we’re going to keep working on increasing the size of the family.  I hope that if we are successful that we have a daughter this time.  I think that it would be a decided difference in raising a girl than all the boys.  At least I will be with Amyn the whole time because I won’t be traipsing off on some adventure or chasing down some female when she is pregnant this time.  It was always something that drew me away, making money or trying to improve my station in life through other means.  A daughter would be a welcomed addition to the family, just maybe this time the Sindorei blood will be a deciding factor in her appearance, not that I don’t find the Kaldorei women exceptionally beautiful though. 

Amyn did tell me that Raleth and Lali are going to be having a baby.  I was very excited to hear about that and pleased to know that if we hurry up on our side of things, our children could become friends here in Dalaran.  I’m sure that raising children here in Dalaran will be a far cry from what we went through in Shattrath, things are so much better here. 

I think that I may even go back and join Amyn in bed for a while this morning, she looks so inviting and I’ll admit that I am feeling a bit amorous.  Pan and Lumina seem to have Pan Junior corralled between them in front of the fireplace for them moment which means that I won’t have to be dodging little kitten claws in the bedroom for a while. 

 

Fnor Morningstar

Stalking The Prey – Part II – Finale


July 26th

((Due to the lack of interest on the part of the participants on this particular level of this story, I have decided to discontinue it. 99.9% of the participants were actually my characters in-game. It had great potential to go a lot further than it did, however, I am less inclined to utilize my creativity on something that no longer interests me.))

 

We waited patiently on the hillside with the Rangers. I think that we were all overly anxious to get the job done and end this charade. I was certain that we could handle almost anything with the people that we had in our group. Fnar and I were just anxious to end this, get his sister back in one piece and put this all behind us.

I’ll admit that our friendship has taken some damage from this adventure and will someday get back to where it once was. I was stubborn and blinded by my own ego to think that I could handle this whole ordeal alone. It has caused a lot of friction between us all that shouldn’t have been allowed to happen.

We were standing there, waiting, after Amyn had given her signal from the woods that we should withdraw to a safe area. Now, I could see a strange light emanating from what would have been the basement and saw Angel emerge slowly. It was almost as if she were aware that there were others in the area, however, she continued further away from the house. Here was the opportunity that we had waited for, the time that the thing would be away from its source.

The paladin, priest and warlock were ready for the assault as were we all. I could hear some chirps and trills from the woods as Amyn’s group moved in for their attack on the animated body that we were calling Angelese. I heard a shot from the woods and could tell that the Kaldorei were in pursuit of our prey, or at least this portion of it.

The Rangers rushed towards the basement entry and descended the stairs with Fnar and me following closely with them. What we found in the basement was horrific enough that it did cause us to pause in the assault.

A large glass container was sitting on an altar surrounded by a glowing light and the contents seemed to be aware of our presence. It was a malformed child floating in some fluid that seemed to be very much a sentient being. Before I could even take a moment to think things through, the jar crashed to the ground and the “thing” within it was hacked to bits.

Fnar saw his sister huddled in a corner of the room, her arms wrapped around her knees with a very vacant looking face. The body was there, we weren’t sure that Felessa’s soul was still intact. He scooped her up and headed back outside and I could hear him as he fled, calling her name with no response.

I could hear some of the shouts from outside of the confines of the basement, the pop of spells being cast, the glimmer of magic in the air as it sped on its way. I could also hear the cries from the Kaldorei contingent and see the flashes of light from the direction that Angel had taken.

When the Rangers and I headed in the direction of the sound of conflict, we saw what was happening. The Stormwind warlock was busy trying to get the soul shard of the creature as the Paladin hurled his powers at the same time. I watched as Angel’s body crumpled to the ground, a light of a very odd color seemed to emanate from her…something searching for another body to inhabit perchance. I heard the warlock shout out and the light disappeared.

((And so ends this chapter in the Morningstar/Dawnglory saga of the raging thing called Angel.))

 

 

 

 

 

Another Visit With A Friend


July 25th

 

Dear Journal,

I had such a great evening with Makota. I had no idea she was coming to Thunder Bluff and I was sitting by the bonfire just reading a book before I needed to go inside and sleep for a while. I was a little tired and I just hope that it didn’t show.

She is so sweet that it is hard for me to think sometimes when I am around here. I asked Nahai if he ever had trouble like that and he just laughed. You see, Makota is the first girl that I have ever spent any time with other than my sister and my Mom. I usually get too shy to talk and then I just kind of wander away from them.

We talked about Makota’s kodo and she is so very pleased to have her. I know how I felt when I got my first mount, they are the most marvelous things and you can just shower them with all of the attention that you want because they like that.

I guess she did come to Thunder Bluff on Sunday and saw part of the Story Circle and seemed to enjoy it quite a bit. She is very shy and wondered why some of the other patrons didn’t really notice her. I felt bad that I hadn’t been home to go with her but I had some business to take care of in Orgrimmar that day and didn’t get home until very late. I told her that I would make sure that I was going to be in Thunder Bluff for the next one and that I would go with her.

She seemed to be very surprised at the crowd that attended there. Well, yes, a lot of the people make a special trip here just for that every week. I know Mom likes to sit in the doorway of the house sometimes and just listen to the stories while she knits or does some mending. Mom wasn’t at Story Circle this week either because she was visiting an old friend in Bloodhoof.

I guess Makota’s guardian, Ahali is feeling better now. She had been very worried about him when we first met because he hadn’t been feeling well. It could have been any number of things wrong with the old fellow. I know my Mom hadn’t been feeling that great either, however, whatever it was has gone away. They are both old and I know that old Tauren can be a bit moody at times. Who knows?

I hope to see Makota again soon because she is fun to talk with and she seems interested in my family. Maybe I should talk to them and we could have dinner either before or after the Story Circle on Sunday. I know my Mom is anxious to meet her because she’s the first girl that I have ever had anything to do with.

I hope that Makota gets over her fear of Naton one of these days. He’s my older brother and he’s a Death Knight that is different from all of the stories that I am sure that she must have heard. He’s gentle and kind. When that hunger arises, he leaves for a while and comes back, acting just the same as always. I know that he has asked me to help him get some more mithril ore because he has several orders to fill before the end of the month at the smithy. I still like to go watch him work; he makes some beautiful armor that people seem to clamor for these days. Which I had better stop writing and go start doing some mining before I have to go back and talk to my instructors about what they have planned for me next.

 

Tahfal Cloudhoof

 

Stalking the Prey…Part I


We searched for days; it seems like and finally found the old abandoned building, just as I remembered it. Of course, the years had eaten away at some of the things that were left behind, pieces of old furniture lay rotting in the rooms, drapery hung at the windows almost as sheer as the cobwebs that had joined with them. The house smelled of rotted age and it smelled of old death – a fresh kill has a much fresher scent, almost metallic as it wafts under your nostrils through the air.

Dawnglory and I both knew that Felessa was here in this building, the tracks led here and the cats seemed to know she was here, however, they were very nervous about crossing the rotten threshold as if there were some kind of barrier there stopping them.

I know that as I was standing there, the thoughts of time passed raced through my mind. The first time that I had been to this building with my beloved Noble Lady, M’Lady was what I called her all of the time, it was a game we played with one another. I know that my reverie was disturbed by the trill of a night bird and the soft hoot of an owl which caused me to almost jump because of the nearness of them.

My loving wife was not far away with her little band of people from Stormwind. I will have to tell her how dangerous this was at another time for her to bring her people so close to a full complement of Rangers here in Tranquillien, so very close that I could almost think that I could see their shadows in the brush, I couldn’t hear any footsteps or any other sounds, they moved like ghostly shadows in the darkness.

I know that there have been many comparisons to Sentinels and Rangers in the past; however, I have never seen a Ranger moving as stealthily as these Kaldorei will do in a wooded area; they almost become one with the forest. It is a second nature to them, these creatures of the night forests. I can remember my younger years before I was seasoned enough to know that these Kaldorei can make a kill without making a sound and blend back into the forest, without a trace or any sound before you even realize that they have breached your perimeter. Rangers can move with as much stealth as these Sentinels, however, I don’t think that we were granted with the grace that these beings seem to possess.

I know that Paladin with our Ranger group was already starting a part of his ritual prior to our going any further into the old dilapidated building, the priest was joining in with soft incantations, the warlock was already preparing her runes and had her soul shards at the ready. We would be moving soon, to start the final assault on this being. This was not going to be a full frontal assault because it would forewarn Angel of our coming and she might have a chance to shift her power to another source.

Dawnglory and I had discussed this with the Rangers and we all agreed that it would be advantageous if I removed my necklace, opening myself to the powers of this being, as a distraction. Possibly bring her out and away from the source and away from her latest victim, Fnar’s sister. We were just hoping that she hadn’t done anything to Felessa, such as some kind of conversion for a new resting place. We were gambling with not only our lives but the lives of everyone involved.

I really wish that I had had a chance to notify Felestrien of what it was we were doing; however, I knew that he had his own issues to take care with his wife and children. He at least was able to discern what we might be dealing with and gave us all some idea of what it is that we needed to do. I don’t trust this strange Paladin from Silvermoon; however, the Rangers seem to think that he is one of the best in the region. However, he’s not my friend and the trust is just not there. If he makes one mistake, it could spell doom for all of us. I’ve met the warlock before and she is good at what she does, however, I’m fighting with myself and trying to tell myself that I have nothing to fear from her, the thing I fear is in this building.

Dawnglory says that he can hear a faint humming sound beneath our feet, as if someone were chanting something very low and very methodically. He said that the voice sounds like his sister’s, although, it’s changed and he can’t make out what the humming actually is. Could be that the person is indeed chanting a spell, or something; you can almost taste the danger in the air.

I know that I was upset with our warlock because she is saying that she will grasp the being known as Angel and force her into a soul shard as well as pulling Felessa’s soul into a shard as well. I don’t understand, will that be the end of Felessa as we know her? Can we get her soul back into her body undamaged?

I hear a click from behind me as if someone was notching an arrow into a bow and then I hear a call of the owl from tree line again. This time, the call is one that Amyn and I have used a lot…withdraw, the time is not right. I hand signal Fnar and the bowman with us and we slowly start retracing our steps back out of the building and crossing the threshold.

I know that when we crossed the road and came to a stop on the hill where the other Rangers had gathered, you could almost feel the tension leave the air. The time was not right; our prey may or may not be aware of our incursion into their territory. For all of sakes, I hope that she doesn’t know how close we are.

So, we wait.

(To Be Continued)

 

 

 

 

 

I Was So Very Wrong..So Wrong


Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

July 19th

Dear Journal,

I’m sitting here in the middle of the night and I can’t sleep. I may as well take care of some of this paperwork that I have on my desk and maybe I’ll be able to get my mind tired enough to where it will shut down and I can get some sleep.

I think I have totally screwed things up with Dawnglory at this point. Yes, I know all of the things that I should have done and didn’t do. Amyn and I have had several verbal spats about this since I got back to Dalaran. I know what I did was wrong. I should have told these girls about Angel the minute that I was aware of what she was and I didn’t do it. I’m still sitting here and admonishing myself for not doing that, it would have been the right thing to do and would have gotten them out of the danger that I had knowledge of and failed to communicate to them. In my panic and my own arrogance, I thought that Felestrien and I could take care of the matter and not have to worry about even letting them know about the problem. I was wrong, so very wrong.

If anything happens to his sister, I will never forgive myself and will probably end up getting killed by my best friend or I will kill him defending myself. I was the biggest kind of fool that there ever was and I am willing to admit that. If I had made errors in judgment like this when I was in the Rangers, I doubt that I would be sitting here writing in this journal tonight. I would have been dead a long time ago. This whole thing was total mistake from the onset and perhaps, if I hadn’t of allowed my emotions to take control of things; I would have acted as I should have.

In my defense, I will have to say that I have never been as frightened by anything in my life as I am of this demonic being that has forced its way into this reality. I don’t care how it came into being, I just care that it is here now and for some reason, it has set its designs on destroying me and my family. It has been a living nightmare for me since this all started and why did it have to start now, is a question that I will be asking myself for years to come, if I live that long.

I can’t believe how I conducted myself when I went to Silvermoon. To say that I am ashamed of myself is putting it very mildly. If there was a rock that I could hide under for the rest of my days, I would probably be there now. I’m more than ashamed; I’m so disappointed in myself that it’s a hard thing to even look in the mirror without wanting to punch my own reflection in the mirror. I was a very stupid man and probably played right into Angel’s hands without even realizing it.

My plan had been to go to Silvermoon and tell Fnar and Faendra about Angel, not realizing that she had already taken off with Felessa. I didn’t even stop to think about that and that was my mistake, again. When I walked into the house and shouted out for Dawnglory, my sister was standing next to me in a very revealing gown and I saw him coming out of his room fastening his trousers. I just lost it at that point. Stupid, stupid man.

I am going to have to get myself up from here and head back to Silvermoon to help with the search and to try and makeup with Dawnglory. I also have to talk to Faendra and tell her that I don’t know what was going on in my head, that I’m not really that much of an ass. I love both of these people as much as my wife and children and I can’t afford to let that go. My behavior was inexcusable and I hope that it hasn’t cost me the best friend I’ve ever had. I’ve never questioned his loyalty or what he does, he was just there.

He was there when I was his Commander in the Rangers. He was there to hold me in his arms when I got wounded and everyone thought I was dying except for him – he refused to listen to the healers and he was right. He has been there with me through most of the ups and downs in my life, even told me a few times what a dumbass I was and meant it in all kindness. He has been there to witness my stupidity with my relationships with other women when I had Amyn hidden away in Shattrath and told me repeatedly that I was going to have to make up my mind one of these days because someone was going to kill me. He was there when I needed to talk to another man that has been through a lot of the things that I have .. he listened and gave me his opinion, regardless, if it hurt or not.

No, I’m not going to let this thing destroy that relationship even if I have to grovel.

Fnor Morningstar