Letter To Kaldor Shadowmoon

February 8th


Me and Hammon was wonderin’ when you was going to be showing up again?  Our Ma said she thought she saw you a few days ago but you was running like someone had set your butt on fire or somthin.

Ach, Laddie, we’re missing the good times we had when you’d visit and all the women at me brother’s bar are wondering when ya been.  I’ll be sending this letter to the office in Stormwind, since I know you’re probably not living in Dalaran these days.

That Draeni woman that’s running things in Stormwind, Magdamnit or whatever the heck her name is says you’re all off fighting the war.  Yeah, we seen them Panderian with their high and mighty brews, however, they sure can’t drink a good dwarven stout wit’ou falling down.

Yeah, that Draeni is living the high life of being the boss these days when me and Hammon bring our hides in.  She makes us wipe our feet at the door to the warehouse – now , how bloody stupid is that? Aye, we liked Romey even if she was one them educated spacegoats, she didn’t take on any airs, ya know.  Besides, she was good for a flirt now and again – this one acts like her tail gets caught under her hooves and she gets damned cranky.

If you don’t have time to stop by, at least drop us a line, we miss you and the girls miss you even more than we do.  Sure, you know, it’s okay if you puked in the fountain the last time you was here.  I’m sure no one will be rememberin’ that happening. Besides, we need your help with some gnomes that need puntin’ outta the bar now and again.

I hope you’re being careful with those fury girls up in Panderia.  I hear tell they can really put the hurt on you big fellas.  They do like a cuddle now and again with a dwarf though, gotta be those beautiful beards we have. 

Well, Hammon and Rye says to tell ya hello and to come back soon.

Andrew Bitterbeer

c/o Bitterbeer Brewery


Waitin’ On The Tram

June 26th


Well up, guess I should start out by saying that my name is Andrew Bitterbeer and I was born and raised in Iron Forge. Not much of real happenin’ thing there but it happened and I’m here. Me and my siblings all were born in Iron Forge to be exact. Ma didn’t believe in traveling that much and the brewery was close by.

Oh yeah, we used to have a brewery before it blew up and it was called Bitterbeer Brewery. Da didn’t know why it never really took off like it should have. I mean the name is catchy and all that, the product was good, I was reared on it. *chuckles and smiles* Well, I suppose ya could say it take off with a bang that last day, however, we lost Da that day too.

The only reason that I’m even writin’ this thing is because I’m waitin’ on my younger brother to drag his bum down to the tram so we can go to Stormwind together. His name is Hammon and his bear, Rye, had to go take care of what bears take care of in the woods. Didn’t think it would take him a fortnight to get the critter to cop a squat out there. I tried to get Fuzzbutt to go with ’em but he’d have none of that.

Now, don’t even get started on names here other than knowing the fact that I have siblings with worse names. I even have a brother named Haggis because that’s what Ma was hankering for when she carried him; he’s a bartender and a damned good one. Me and Hammon try to keep his business going every chance we get. Now, Ma has a couple of daughters that I feel sorry for, one named Cheesecake and the other one named Berry. Imagine havin’ to go through your life with those handles. Poor Ma, she always thought it was the way things were supposed to be and that the spirits were telling her what to name her children. I’m the only one of the four that has a decent dwarf name. Andrew sounds like a good strong name and the Bitterbeer surname isn’t all fruity sounding. It sounds like we’re good, decent hardworking folks.

I don’t write much, I think it’s one of those things that fancy people do when they don’t have the time to do anything else or can’t get someone else to do it for them. So, I’ll write when I get the chance.

Right now, I’m waiting here at the tram and passing the time because there’s nothing else to do, you can only shoot so many rats before it gets boring.

I got a letter from the Shadowmoons that live in Dolonaar which was kind of a surprise. I haven’t heard much from them since I stopped huntin’ that much in that area. Oh we had some high times, that hunter and his druid mate. Oh yeah, things did change after they had their daughter, Amynlarae, which is why they wrote me.

Seems she’s got herself in a pickle because she’s running a business for her mate out of Stormwind and has some young cubs that need to be instructed on the proper business procedures. Yeah, she’s got two kids of her own, no, wait, she’s got four but the two eldest are the troublemakers I guess. Ain’t their fault though because it seems she got tied up with some little Sindorei fellow and popped out these two pretty fast. What is a nice Kaldorei girl can see in a Blood Elf, it’s beyond my old brain’s comprehension.

Anyway, she was asking her Dad to come to Stormwind to keep things running for her while she goes off and marries this Sindorei fellow. Seems like the Dad didn’t want to do it because she had two other kids that he and the missus are taking care of while she goes off gallivanting with this blood elf. Okay, so, he writes to Andy and asks me if I’d be willing to help him out one more time. Well, sure, why not, h’ain’t been in the city for a while and who knows, there might be some sweet young thing that catches my fancy while I’m down there.

So, after talking it over with Ma, Hammon and me are going down there for a while to see what’s going on. I guess this oldest boy of hers is a handful and thinks he knows all there is to know. A good slap upside the head should learn him his manners and to know that he’s not all there is when it comes to hunting. Damned high uppity blood elf for a Daddy, what does he know about real livin’? Oh well, I’ll keep my mouth shut and open it when I see what’s goin’ on.

Well, Hammon and Rye just showed up and we just missed the tram again. Oh, isn’t that grand, he brought a couple beers along with him, that way the waitin’ won’t be with a dry mouth. He’s looking at me like I grew a third eye in my forehead because he sees me scribblin’ here.