Jonathan “River” Rivertic

by

Adventures of Rivertic…


June 4th

Dear Journal,

Well, just when I was getting things down in Hellfire Peninsula, you know, killing the boars, killing the occasional Orc that happened to have the misfortune of stumbling into my path while I was out and about.  I was just getting into the groove down there and doing the things that were expected of me when I got orders to move out.  I was thinking that I was getting sent to Northrend, that’s not all bad, hadn’t ever been there although I hear that it’s damned cold, that wouldn’t have bothered me at all.

No, I guess I didn’t need to follow the same old path, I got shipped directly to Pandaria.  Now, I can say that it’s a beautiful place, not much in the way of a desert kind of atmosphere that I had grown accustomed too in Hellfire.  The thing that bothers me in Pandaria is the greenery – most of it is taller than I am.   Well, most everything is taller than I am which makes slogging through the countryside a bit more challenging.   At least I got put with a bunch of other Death Knights and we go out on patrols with the other Alliance races – not all bad except I’m always the shortest one and I have to prove over and over again that being my size isn’t a detriment to them.  I can still kill things bigger than me and I can still out battle most of these human warriors and paladins – just wish they’d watch where they cast that Light – it kind of hurts.

I really have to admit that this Pandaria place is definitely different and it offers a real challenge to someone of my stature.  Not to be harping, it does get old when you have to step stool to get into bed at the Inn or they offer you a child’s bed.   Anyway, lots of tall people, big animals, tall plants and some real big Pandaren.  When I am running around the Vale – yes, I found it, I do wish that the tall ones would look out for us short ones.  At least there is a quick easy way to get to Stormwind from here and, trust me, I use it. Gotta keep in touch with my gnomies.

Right now, I am supposed to be at work in the Jade Forest, however, I asked for some time off so that I could get my gear and myself organized, not to mention, I wanted to explore this place a little bit more too.  It’s huge, it’s freakin’ huge and I’ve never seen anything like it before that I can remember.

I’m thinking seriously about writing a book called River’s Adventures – not sure that anyone would read it anymore than they might read this journal some day.  It’s something to pass the time and it keeps me from getting stepped on – the writing I mean, I can sit in a corner some place and write to my heart’s content.

Oh my, with all of the resources and the ore up here in Pandaria, my mind is all a whirl with the inventions that I can make.  Oh sure, can’t let that part of my creative genius get stale – there’s all kinds of stuff to learn and to do up here and I can talk with more experienced engineers that understand some of my ideas – hope they don’t steal any of them.  I still think the auto-flush toilet is a great idea if I could just figure out how to reverse the updraft and have the stuff go back where it’s supposed to be.  I’m working on it. It’s got to be something to do with the vacuum and synchronicity of the water release – there has to be enough force to downdraft the stuff.  I’ll get it figured out, no worry about that, I’ll just keep plugging away with it as soon as I can figure it out – there will be self-flushing toilets in all of the outhouses in Stormwind, already have one installed that I am using as my pilot testing area.  Fellow seemed to be real pleased with it until it lost the downdraft and he came out kind of messy and, let’s just say, fragrant.  Oh, just imagine, having a self-flushing toilet in a house with running water – that would be awesome and just think how quick it would catch on – people hate trudging to the convenience behind the house in the middle of winter.

Oh well, I do need to get some things taken care of and I found a real nice guy that seems to be real interested in my converter package for carryalls.  Kind of smashes things down so your bags aren’t so big.  He wants one to carry all of the gems he has for sale – wonder what he is doing with all of those gems anyway, he says he’s a jewel crafter of sorts.  I bet!!

 

River

 

by

This Ain’t So Bad…


May 26th

Dear Journal,
Oh, I used to keep one of these things a long time ago and thought I would start another one just for the heck of it.  You know,  a place to keep your thoughts and sometimes it helps with your memories if you happen to have any – I don’t have any real past memories that I can recall.

The one thing I can remember is getting radiated in my home and being “cleansed” if you can call it that before getting evacuated to the service.  I have no idea if my family was with me or not because I just can’t remember.  Some of what I remember about the radiation and stuff is from what other gnomes, that will talk with me, have told me about it.  It must have been horrible and the survivors have taken a vow to go back and take their home back again.  Well, if they do, I’ll go with them although I don’t know that they will appreciate it.  I mean it isn’t every day that you have a gnome Death Knight running around with a bunch of other gnomes.

I guess that I should start out by saying that my name is Jonathan Rivertic – my friends call me River most of the time when they aren’t calling me other things.  So far, I think that my life has sucked – I mean really sucked big time.  Where or whom else would have got poisoned with radiation, lived through that stuff and then, on their way to, I assume, to Iron Forge, they get waylaid or something like that and get turned into a Death Knight.  That really sucks!  Really has put a crimp in whatever plans I might have had, however, I do remember how to mine and I do remember how to be an engineer – so, I think I can still make a living at it if people don’t mind working with a dead gnome.  If they do, to heck with them, I’ll put my wares in the auction house and let the money start rolling in.

At least I have a few other gnomes that let me hang around with them.  It is a bit awkward at times, I’ll admit, however, they try to treat me like the rest of them.  Of course, it sure has curtailed anything in the way of romantic interests so far, although, I’m sure that might change in the future.  I wonder if I ever got past a kiss when I was alive – I don’t remember.  Oh the horror!!  Get radiated, get turned into a Death Knight and might have died a virgin to top it all off – I don’t think there is a way to tell on dudes.

Well I guess life was a rollicking good time of killing people and everything that came into my path before the Chapel debacle and the Lich King set us free.  Big deal, he set us free in the middle of the Plague Lands – not my choice for a vacation spot, I’ll tell ya.  Some of the tall guys, Night Elves, Humans and a couple of Worgen decided that they were going to head to Stormwind and swear their allegiance to the King – I thought I might as well go along with the whole thing too.  I wasn’t planning on staying where I was left there, I’ll tell you that.  Ugly just wouldn’t describe that area appropriately.  I think that the Lich had a bit of a sense of humor too, the blasted Scourge.  Of course, my mount is my size – yep, here I am galloping along for all I’m worth and getting left in the dust most of the time too – my mount is about the size of one of those toy ponies that they have at the Faire.  See!! He had a sick sense of humor.

Anyway, the welcoming committee that met us as we came through the gates was anything but welcoming.  Luckily, the tall guys took the real bashing because I was smart enough to get my mount in between two Night Elves Death Knights – they do make great shelters.  We finally made it to the King, covered in who knows what kind of garbage people were throwing and made our pledge to the Alliance. Even after we had taken our vow, people were more than a little standoffish because none of us smelled real good with all of that garbage.  I’m surprised that the King didn’t throw-up or something when he was meeting with our group – man must have a stomach like cast iron.

We all tried to stay together as much as possible, however, some of the fellows wanted to go back to their homelands to see if they could find their families if they remembered they had any.  That left me pretty much on my own in Stormwind. Luckily I wear plate armor because these people do not look out for the vertically challenged at all – I think I got stepped on more times than I can count just trying to make my way to the Inn in the Trade area.  That was the only Inn that I was told that would taken in my kind – meaning gnomes or Death Knights.  I think they meant Death Knights.

Finally got to the Inn, had a few gold in my belt that I could pay for a room and a bath.  The Innkeeper just looked at me and I know that she was doing everything that she could not to burst out laughing because it isn’t everyday that you see a gnome Death Knight.  Anyway, she said that she could make up a bed for me, a crib, that no one was using for their toddlers.  I just rolled my eyes and forked over my money and told her that was okay.  I’ll admit that it isn’t all that uncomfortable, I just have to remember to leave the sidebar down and have a step stool handy to jump on the mattress without hurting myself.

Naturally, I got sent to Outland – I think that’s where they send all of the Death Knights to weed out the weak ones without feeling guilty about it. I also learned how to cook some, to fish, do my own first aid since we don’t get the freebies anymore and I think that life is pretty good considering.   I think that I am just going to do what I’m ordered for right now, although it does look like the mining is going to be the way to go and it seems someone is always wanting a gadget fixed or made for them.  Yep, I think I made the right choice in coming to Stormwind.

Of course, I still have my gnomies to hang out with and we do have some fun.  At least I’ve learned how to laugh without sounding like I am standing in an echo chamber.  Life or, in my case, Unlife is good for River.  If I kind of keep my eyes half-closed, most people don’t even notice I’m Death Knight unless I say something more than just stupid.

Well, it’s my day off and I still have some laundry to do.  Yep, bought some clothes so I don’t have to walk around in my armor all of the time.  Found a place called the Blue Recluse that seems okay with taking my coin if I care to have a drink or two.  Yep, might head over there later – being short has an advantage too, people, women especially like to lean down to talk to me – yep, get the full on frontal view of things.  Might wing my way to Iron Forge too, who knows what kind of mischief I might get into up there?

Jonathan “River” Rivertic