When Worlds Collide


2018-08-29 (1)

August 29th

Dear Journal,

My heart is heavy and my soul has been sorely damaged with all of the things that have happened in the last few weeks.  So many things and so many people have been lost – for what reason?  Elune has taught me that there are few things that I can do to learn that lesson, however, how many times does Azeroth have to deal with this type of conflict – for what reason?

We have fought demons and we’ve fought the scourge and we’ve fought each other for all time, or so it appears to me.  I met my beloved Sindorei in the middle of a conflict with the Horde and he saved my life.  Oh yes, I hated him at first and once I knew him, I knew that he was no different that I am on the inside.   We were supposed to be enemies and we were supposed to kill one another according to the Leaders and Warchief of the time, however, Elune had other plans for us because we fell in love.

The place that my people called home is no more, burned with the people that were still there.  Civilians and soldiers a like – babes in arms,  ancients living in their winter of their of lives.  Anyone and anything that was not fast enough to make it out of the portals and to safety were lost.   It didn’t matter that some of those people had never taken up arms in their lives and had only existed to live their lives in peace and harmony in the World Tree.  Now, they are gone, burned to ash.

I couldn’t believe what was happening because it all felt like a horrific nightmare that I only wanted to awake from.  No matter how hard I tried to wake up – it was no dream and those visions are burnt forever into my mind.

I know this war is about the azurite and the possibility of what it might do and to save our world, however, no one would have thought that the Banshee Queen would have thought immediately to turn it into a thing of mass destruction.   We have lost cities before in the past – Theramore does come to mind and the loss of life there was unbelievable.   No one was prepared, just as we weren’t prepared for the Cataclysm and losses for my people with Deathwing.  So many lives lost just so that we could start it all over again.  Where are the Gods that we have worshipped and bowed to for all of these centuries – can they not control their children any better than we can control ours?

I know that my beloved was there on Dark Shore and I know that he killed just as I did, however, I know that his heart had to be breaking as sorely as mine was.  Some of these people were friends and, yes, even family.  We were ordered as soldiers to do these things and we did them.  That doesn’t mean that we felt it was right – there was no honor in what either faction did and I know that it is only the beginning.

My family is safe because a certain Sindorei told me to get them to safety weeks before anything happened.  Bless Elune that he was willing to risk his life to let me know what he had heard in the war councils – he feels as I do, family comes first.

Amynlarae Shadowmoon

Will This Ever End


*Warning!! There could be some salty language in this post, if you’re easily offended, please do not read.*

 

August 25th

Yo Book!!

What in the Hells is going on!  What did we just do and why we did it?  I’m not getting anywhere with my questions; however, it is a thing that I am often doing these days. I’m questioning everything that I am doing and why I’m doing it.  Well, fuck, the first thing that comes to mind is that I am following orders and secondly – no one seems to understand the full ramifications of the shit that we are doing. Even Fnor is rattled and shaken with these new events.  It takes a fucking lot of stuff to rattle that man and I know because he’s been my best friend since I joined the rangers.

All I know is that we were doing the usual cleanup after a long battle with our foes in the Broken Shore and we got orders to report to the Warchief in Orgrimmar.  Okay, not a fucking problem, we’ll drop whatever we’re doing to go see what this crazy bitch has going on now.  To say that I dislike the Warchief is probably considered dangerous, however, I’d rather face that danger than deal with another pyscho in charge of the Horde.  Even the news from Silver Moon and our Regent Lord is a bit disconcerting at a time like this – we are ordered to Orgrimmar and we are going to do whatever the Banshee Queen has to say.  I’ll have to give it some thought or just pull one of my better disappearing acts.

For Light’s Sake!!  I just got my family back together and we’ve gone to Pandaria to live where the children can at least stay safe.  Romy and the children are still recovering from their ordeal as well as getting acclimated back to where they should be – they need no further trauma in their lives for now.

I know that I was just getting used to being with the kids and Romy again.  Just having them with me made my world complete and now, well, duty calls and there is no way that I can get out of it for fear that Romy could be called back to active duty as well.   I’m not one to leave the kids with other people to raise and I know how Romy feels about that sort of thing as well.

I’m still shaken by all the things that happened at the Dark Shore and the finality of the Horde burning the World Tree.  The loss of life for Night Elves was absolutely sickening and I wept as I stood there watching the tree burning.  War is war; however, this wasn’t something that any of us had ever thought would happen.  I know that Fnor was just devastated because of his wife’s family and his own relationship with many of the Elves over time.  Watching all of this almost felt like getting physically struck.

I’m ashamed to say that I followed my orders and did what I was told but that doesn’t mean that I agreed with it. A lot of us didn’t agree with any of it – why start a war with the Alliance at this point and time?  Why kill so many people for a whim of someone that isn’t exactly rational?

Honor and Loyalty – well, what the fuck does that really mean.  Honor is something for you as an individual, however, the Loyalty to a faction is a duty.  When that duty crosses the line, you must make some very hard choices and I have made mine – I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and know that I am doing the right thing and not feel the shame that I am feeling now.

I know that I am sitting here and feeling like something soiled and thrown away.  This is not a great feeling at all – the shame is so intense that it almost makes me want to puke my guts out.   I have written to Romy and told her to not come anywhere near Kalimdor at this time and to avoid the Eastern Kingdoms because there is nothing left for her there any longer.

My mind is just rambling, and thoughts are as fleeting as the brandy that I have been drinking.

Fnar Dawnglory

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There Is No Honor In This


 

August 20th

Dear Journal,

I know it has been some time since I have written, however, it has been rather busy with things trying to wrap up with the demon incursion on the Broken Isles.  One would have thought that we would have a moment’s respite from conflict not considering that we have a Warchief that is an undead Banshee Queen in every sense of the word.

I have always followed the Horde and the war chiefs we’ve had, however, with the caveat that I was following the direction of the Regent Lord in Silvermoon.  At least that’s what I thought I was doing and felt that it was something that had to be done.  I’ve lived through Thrall, Garrosh, Vol’jin and now, Sylvanus – the latter is a different matter and I’ve never trusted her.  I know that we were all shocked when Vol’jin gave her the position and said it was from the LOA – well, was it?  I’m not real sure. This whole situation has been like a boiling cauldron and I think it has finally reached a point where it is going to be hard to choose between loyalty and honor.

In the last few weeks I have seen and done things that would have never even entered my imagination or my worst nightmare.  The whole thing has made me sickened to my very soul and the shame that I will carry for the rest of my life.  How am I going to face my wife and my sons with the things that we have done?  I haven’t seen my beloved wife since the attack on Teldrassil – I know her group of Sentinels were there, however, I know she was not amongst those that were lost because I have heard from her through our company channels.

I know that I am not the only one that was physically ill with the killing that went on at Dark Shore and it is the only time in my adult life that I wanted to just walk away from everything.  I wanted desperately to walk away from the Horde, find my beloved Amyn and run to Outland to our home in Nagrand – I may still do that if I can face her again.  I just want to make sure that my boys are okay too – I know that Vash is still in Stormwind and that Kal was with Kae and her group of Sentinels but I’m not real sure where they were during all this slaughter. I just hope that they are okay and neither of them was wounded or even killed.

I wasn’t the only one standing there sickened with the bloodshed and the horror, Dawnglory was there with me and I’m not ashamed to admit that we both had tears streaming down our faces when the order was given to set the World Tree on fire.  I know several of us were screaming for them not to do it and I assume that we are all going to hear from our Leaders at some point about our misconduct.

Now, I know that the Horde may have bitten off more than they can chew with the leadership being what it is, however, if the Regent Lord has approved of this action and will condone these heinous acts, I will follow him and trust that there is a reason for all of it that I am not privy too.

I know from my past experiences that the Alliance will retaliate, and I know that the Warchief will be there primary target.  So, its WAR again whether our people want it or not.  So, we will not have the time of peace that most of us were looking for – I can’t truly remember a time when there wasn’t a war somewhere that we were involved in.

My heart is just breaking with the pain and suffering that I have witnessed and trying to put my mind at peace is going to be a chore.  I still need to find my wife and let her know that I love her and apologize to her for my actions and the actions of others.  I hope she will forgive me and still love me.

I know that we will have to be extremely careful with our relationship and our businesses with the faction war starting up again.  We are heading into some dangerous times.

 

Fnor Morningstar

 

 

 

 

OOC – Update and getting there…


August 19, 2018

Having so many stories roaming about in my brain and wanting to play instead of writing has been an issue of mine for the last year, however, think I’ll try to do a bit more writing and build up my following a bit more.

Had zero issues with the launch of Battle for Azeroth and have enjoyed what little I have played in the new zones, however, once again, I am still stuck with some of the things in Legion if I plan on expanding my character base a bit with new Allied races.  I will never understand why Blizzard locked everything behind the reputations and will say that I dislike it immensely.  That’s just my personal opinion and nothing against those that have done it – I am always behind these last two expansions.   I don’t think that will change anytime soon because I’m not doing a whole lot to advance myself – toon hopping is not going to make it go faster although it does make it more entertaining for me and I never get bored with it.

I am going to say that I don’t care for the “new” armor – never did like the idea of running around looking like a sad neon sign. So, I will be doing a lot of transmog in this expansion as I level just to keep my immersion going. The super bright gold on the armor makes me feel like I am standing in a cave with a spotlight on myself – not appealing to me at all.  Again, this is my opinion.

All the drama leading up to the launch left me feeling very drained emotionally because I play both Horde and Alliance.  I can see why this was done the way that it was and that was to build up the hype and get more people to join into the hype for the War, however, if left me feeling a bit depressed.  

On the Horde side, I was dismayed and sad to see that the Horde is being touted as the bad guys as usual, however, the genocide was not enjoyable for me.  Both factions have done horrible things in the past and will continue to do so – this is World of WARcraft, after all, not my Little Pony.

At least I am starting to feel like I am going to be able to play a bit more and I’m able to do play a little bit longer at a time.  Having some vision issues again, however, that goes with the age.   Still enjoying the game and I hope that everyone is enjoying themselves.  I’m going to hang out in Legion a bit to grind out the reps but that’s par for the course.  I’m always behind and I get to play at a leisurely pace.

 

See you all in Azeroth.

 

OOC -Just Having A Good Time


July 26th, 2018

I will have to say that I have been having some fun playing World of Warcraft for the last couple of weeks and haven’t really written anything.  Just been busy playing away and trying to get caught up since I seemed to have gotten over my medication issue for now.

I know that I had quite a few characters to go back and re-establish with their classes and tried experimenting with some of them.  I do have access to Beta and to the PTR although I will have to admit that I haven’t been using either one of them lately at all – just trying to make sense out of the current expansion and trying to get set for the new one.  I know that I have spent more time on my computer in the last few days than I have since I got it.  It’s awesome to be able to zip around and do the things that I want without hearing my old computer groaning and dropping the rates down so low that I felt like I was crawling.  It was a real potato and I still have my second computer that tends to run a bit warm, but fans are a wonderful thing.

I finally got brave and took some of my characters off “Twink” status to finish out areas before moving onto the next expansion.  I’ve decided that I am just going to run with them and go where I feel like going.  Trying to level a character or complete some of the achievements in Draenor is darn near impossible now since the mobs hit harder and kill you faster than they do on the Broken Shore.

One of the things about the Battle for Azeroth pre-expansion quests is that the characters must be maxed out, so you don’t end up running a bunch of alts up the ladder.  I know that I had quite a few that I ran up to the 100 level during the pre-expansion stuff for Legion.  It was fun running around and being a part of the Invasions before Legion dropped.  Now I am trying to do the alt catch up a bit too.

Now that I am starting to feel somewhat better, I am finally getting to do a few things in-game and in RL that I haven’t been able to do for a long time.  To be able to sit down and read a book and comprehend what I’m reading is a wonderful thing.

I hope to see you all in Azeroth sometime soon. 

Life Goes On


July 13th

Dear Journal,

It has been a while since I’ve had a respite from dealing with these demons and getting completely worn out with the constant fighting, however, I do think or feel that things are winding down.  The battles aren’t as intense as they once were, and the evil things are not mounting the huge offenses that they once did.  Do they know that we will keep fighting for as long as it takes to rid ourselves of their presence?  Naturally, with all the battles we’ve had on the Broken Isles and victories we’ve had have been costly to both factions, however, there was a cohesiveness to it all, I hope it lasts.

Thinking back on my life a little bit and I think that the only time that I have known some peace and true happiness was when we were finishing up our fights with Arthas.  That’s been a long time ago and there were happy times to be had in Dalaran before we were driven out.  All the Blood Elves were blamed for the bombing of Theramore and Lady Jania ran amuck with her power in Dalaran.  I still yearn for those days in my heart and the home that I had worked so hard to build there.  It was a wonderful existence while we were there although it doesn’t compare to the life that Amyn and I had in Shattrath where the boys were born.

Maybe after we’re done here, there will be peace for a time or even a brief respite.  I know that when Amyn and I are released from our service here in the Broken Shore – we are planning to take a long break from the stress of it in our home in Nagrand located in Outland.  We’ve built a wonderful mansion there with enough room for the whole family and our friends that care to join us.  It will be good to see our children there for a while.  With both boys taking the appearance of their Mother, it has been hard for us to get together and spend the time together that I would like.  I think that is one of the reasons whey I cherish the Old Dalaran days so much because it has truly been the only time that I could acknowledge my mate and our off-spring without any fear. Ah well, those days are gone, and I suppose that I should move forward.

The last trip that I made to Orgrimmar has me a bit worried because there were higher level gossip going on within the faction – the Warchief was under some scrutiny for her tendency to raise the dead too quickly after a battle regardless of the faction.  The all seem to follow her after they have been risen and I will have to admit that it sends a chill down my spin because it reminds me so much of the Scourge and Arthas.  I wonder if other people have noticed the similarity or are there so few of us left that remember those days?  I’m concerned because I don’t want to go through that again and see some of friends be turned into foes after their demise.

Our businesses are booming, and we are still able to meet the contracts that we pick up and I will have to admit that I am happy with that because if we can keep our coffers full, we will be able to endure just about anything that may happen here on Azeroth.  I’m still funneling some funds to Draenor to help support the work being there – there are still need for goods that can be obtained easily there.  No, we’re not pillaging the resources like we might have in the past, but we are able to keep up the supply for the demand of goods easily.

Damn, the horns are sounding again which means that we have another incursion of demons somewhere close to the camp – that means I need to stop writing and get on with my duty and plunge back into the smell of Fel.

Fnor Morningstar

 

OOC – Things Happen


July 12th, 2018

Well, all my plans for the month of June had to take a hiatus due RL stuff going on and I am going to try to get back into this thing called writing.  I know that I haven’t even spent the time to try to catch up with all the authors that I have been reading for years.   I’m going to take my time so that I don’t get all that stressed out with everything too.  Stress is my bane of existence because if I get too stressed about stuff, I get sick and that is exactly what happened to the month of June.

I know that when I had planned to get stuff done, I was being a bit ambitious and that was my undoing.  Some things you just don’t learn as you get older too – overloading does not make the task enjoyable. I know that I really know how to plan things out and with as much time on my hands since I retired years ago, sometimes I just think that I will have all the time in the world to get things done.  I used to work in an industry where deadlines were your bread and butter and you were judged on your achievements in that area – add in quality of work and that was a bonus.

I know that with the way our weather has been in Colorado, I haven’t had much time or inclination to be spending a lot of time outside in the sunshine.  I know we have broken several records so many times this season that it is almost shocking.  Heat and I don’t get along all that well.  When you get to be my age, there are only so many clothes you can take off before you start laughing uncontrollably.  Gravity is not my friend at this age.    With all my computer equipment being in my loft, it does get warm up there even with AC – heat rises and with lofted ceilings, it likes to heat up and hold it there for a long time.  My skylights are heavily tinted to keep the brightness out of the loft as much as possible because it has gotten to where the super bright lights tend to blind me at times. 

I don’t know why I thought I could get a lot of stuff done in Legion before Battle for Azeroth is dropped on August 14th and I tried, however, being an altoholic does make it a bit more fun.  Sure, I don’t have the new races released yet with the rep grinds and I don’t have flying.  I am just calling a screeching halt to the constant grind I’ve been doing while I’ve been online.  I’ll get it done when I get it done and I don’t have to have all the shinnies that were in Legion either because I don’t really care at this point.  I will do the best that I can and enjoy the time in the game just as I always have.  I know that I think Blizzard can take their Pathfinder requirements and put them where the sun don’t shine because that has taken a lot of fun out of the game for me.  Draenor drove me to distraction and I got it all done, however, it was after Legion dropped that I really started overloading myself with characters.

When Legion did their expansion drop preliminary events, I did run up quite a few characters with it and I’ve been stuck with them in Draenor for the last couple of years because I was busy in Legion trying to get caught up with things.  It’s not so easy to do when you have two computers crap out on you and you must save your money up, so you can get a new rig (which I do have and totally love).  I have several characters in Legion currently and I was mistaken for a long time when I thought that you “shared” some of the achievements and reputations – really put a roadblock out there for me.  I am willingly admitting that I have always used “guides” to find my way through the expansions and with Legion not having that information readily available for deeper research, it has been challenging.  I’ll do what I can when I feel like playing at this point and continue my happy way.

I also have been able to get some new glasses and that has made a huge difference for me because I was struggling with a pair of glasses that really didn’t do it for me sometimes.  I know that I have been reading a lot too – books that I have had a long time and couldn’t seem to get my brain to stay on them for as long as I would like.  When I ready, I am one of those people that likes to lay down and get comfy – which leads to unanticipated naps.  I’m also known for binge-watching television shows that I really liked a lot.  Hey, it’s not a big deal when you can make up your own schedule as you go along.

This was a lot longer than I wanted it to be, however, it is a start in the right direction of writing a little bit.   I will try to get caught up on the reading of my friends’ posts and try to get some character writing done as well – just like last month.  I hope to see you all in Azeroth soon.